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I tried to donate blood once in 1989. The Red Cross refused my blood because of my sexual orientation. They have since blackballed me and I am apparently now in their database as high risk.
That wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't made me feel like I was actually HIV positive (which I am NOT BTW). It was so demeaning.
I believe they still have the same policy..."if you are a male that has had sex with another male since 1979 you must not give blood".
Someone please let me know if this policy has changed, as I would love the opportunity to help others!

Tony, I think you can do many many other things to help people than give blood. I'm glad you are healthy, and I appreciate your point, but you gotta meet us half way on this one. Just because YOU are safe, doesn't mean all gay people are. They have to sorta draw the line somewhere.
You are a very nice guy, I can tell that about you. Do something else to help. Then perhpas you can focus on something positive, instead of the rules that are against gays giving blood. :)

I would think in fairness that anyone who has had anal sex since 1979 should not be able to give blood regardless of sexual orientation. That is the reason why someone would be high-risk, right?

I'm not even saying that I support or don't support that rule. Because, really, two monogamous HIV negative people of any gender having ANY type of sex with each other should be safe.

Lilly,

Thank you for your kind words, and please don't think me angry about their policy. I am not. I just think it is sad that they could be passing up on so many donors.

I know that gay men are one of the risk categories, and I really do understand the fear of people for this. But I think I understood it more in 1989 than I do now. With all of the testing that can be done, and please forgive me if I am uneducated in this matter, wouldn't HIV/AIDS be detected long before it was ever passed on to a receiver?

Now I know my next comment will probably open up a lot of questions, and I will try to be ready for them; Here goes.

Even though I identify as homosexual, and am only sexually attracted to men, I am married to a heterosexual woman and have been monogomous with her for 7 years come October. With that being said, would I not be considered safe to donate blood?

I do always try to look for ways to help the community, though lately I haven't found many. But you know Lilly, I can tell you are a nice person as well. And I always appreciate your kind words!

Tony, I appreciate you too. :)
You have some good questions. I'd guess its the anal sex rule since 1979 thing.
Thank god you have been able to be monogomous with your wife, and honest enough with yourself, and us reading this to admit it.
Alot of men in your situation weren't faithful to their wifes, and as a result we have womean and babies dying of this horrible disease.
Stay faithful Tony, or come out to your wife and be who you really are. :)

Tony,
I can understand why you might be upset at being turned away when you were only trying to do something good. However, I give blood every 56 days and I can assure you that the reasons for deferral are many and they don't just single out gays. Heck, I had a cold once and they wouldn't take my blood! They also defer people based on their time spent overseas, whether or not they've ever had sex with anyone from Nigeria (no, I'm not making this up). They also ask about Hepatitis, West Nile Virus, I.V. drug use and even use of certain legal prescription drugs, such as Propecia (grows hair, I think). As stupid as some of this sounds, I guess they're just trying to protect our blood supply, something we'll all be thankful for if we ever need a transfusion. Yes, they would most likely detect HIV infected blood and discard it, but I can see why they wouldn't want to go to all that trouble and expense if they could avoid it by deferring certain people. I know it seems pretty discriminatory, but it is what it is.

Kel,

That makes some sense..the expense part I mean. And that was an aspect I hadn't really thought about. All I was thinking of was the expense at testing. But I guess when you talk about the collection process, the needles, the bags, the pumps, all of which I assume can't be reused...it does make sense. Hey, at least I am not the only one blackballed..right? LOL

Lilly,
Being monogomous has not been hard. In fact I have enjoyed it. You see, I married my best friend. I came out to her when I was 17. We never meant to fall in love with each other, let alone get married. But you can't help who you fall in love with, right? So she married me knowing full and well who I was and am. I am not saying we haven't had our share of problems. And I guess you can imagine the problems we have are a little different than a traditional married couple. But we love each other and we work hard. Luckilly, we have found an entire world full of people just like us via an on-line support group for mixed orientation marriages. We go to gay bars together and have fun, we go to straight bars together and have fun. You can imagine everything she has had to cope with by accepting me unconditionally. And she is a wonderful woman! She likes to poke fun at me because I do not fit into any stereotype. I am not feminine, not artistic, not mechanically inclined, not into sports...and if you ever met me face-to-face, you would never guess me to be gay. But after you got to know me, you wouldn't be surprised to find out I was either. We have select friends that know "our secret" including my oldest son...my 11 year old and 9 year old aren't ready to know yet. But it's ok...we decided we didn't need to make a statement. We just had to be true to ourselves.

But as usual, I find myself rambling...so sorry!

Tony,
Thanks for the rambling. It was great. :)
Your very lucky you have a wonderful person who adores you in your life.
Nobody wants me, I'm too mean.. LOL.

Who thinks you are mean Lilly?? I obviously have NOT seen that side of you!
=)

hahaha Trust me Tony, they are out there.. just keep browsing the forum. *tee hee hee*
I don't try to come across as mean, but some people just cannot handle the delivery. Afterall, its all in the delivery. :)
I think I'll go give blood in your honor Tony. (and I've NEVER done it before)
Thanks. :)

Tony, It takes exceptional people behaving exceptionally to pull off what you and your wife are committed to. I applaud you both. And I think your kids are very lucky indeed.

I am sorry for your negative experience while trying to donate blood. And I "get" that it was not so much the refusal as the way you were made to feel. Apparently you are comfortable with who you are and your orientation so I don't think you were offended by rejection, just the way in which you were rejected. Professional people should act professionally and treat all people the same.

Because I am in the medical profession and am in contact with HIV+ patients, I get the third degree when I give blood. But I am treated respectfully.

Kel gave a fairly good list of people who are questioned or denied and why. By the time all the collecting, testing and shipping are done, one unit of blood becomes quite expensive. Much of the costs are passed on to the recipient. So if a unit of blood has to be discarded those costs are eaten by the collecting/testing company.

Lilly, I don't think you are mean but I'm also not your type. LOL.

Yvonne.. I'm not even sure whose "type" I am. :) I do know I have B+ blood type and I am going to donate in Tony's honor. :)

Lilly, Thank you so much for donating in my honor! That is very thoughtful! See--I KNEW you weren't mean! LOL

Yvonne, You are right about it not being the refusal, but the feelings associated. In all fairness, it was 1989 (the red cross had come to my high school and I was a senior), HIV/AIDS was still fairly new. And I was out to a few people in school but not a lot. But thanks to the nurses reaction, the rest of my school found out very soon! No big deal really. And Thanks to Kel and you, I do understand a little more now. The cost factor was not something I had thought about. And thank you Yvonne for your comments as well. My wife and I are VERY committed to each other. After-all, been best friends since we were 15 or 16. However, typing that and seeing it in print, I now feel so old! LOL

You are all insane! The Red Cross' policy was born out of fear in the '80s. That fear is no longer present as blood tests are 99.9% accurate!

Expense is nonesense! All blood is tested whether from a gay man who lied about his sexual history to the hetero who is in a monogomous relationship!

It is simply an antiquated rule which should be repealed - to allow all people - gay, straight, etc. to be worthy of giving "the gift of life." To continue on this path is to say that gay people and others are not worthy of that stature. Red Cross - and you people who think you are being nice, get a clue!