Saying goodbye to people from my past
The following is a Counterpoint:
By David P. Haxton
It is that time of life -- looking back; reflecting on fascinating situations lived, interesting personalities met, exciting places seen; reading obituaries. Three interesting people died last month:
• I met Ed Hillary in New Zealand in 1956 at the World Congress of Junior Chamber International; the great hero of Mount Everest was a speaker. As secretary general of JCI, I sat next to him. In the early 1980s in New Delhi, he was high commissioner (ambassador) for New Zealand and I was regional director for UNICEF.
We met often at diplomatic functions, but more importantly we met in unofficial gatherings at his residence or ours. A few years before, he lost his wife and daughter in an air crash in Nepal. His neighbors at home, the Mulgrews, helped him through his grief. Peter Mulgrew was his long-time companion in adventures and replaced him a few years later on a flight over Antarctica that crashed and killed all on board. Ed then reached out to that family. He was a straightforward type, easy to talk with, unpretentious, with a great sense of humor.
• P.K. (Pramod Karan) Sethi was famous as the joint inventor of the "Jaipur foot." He created the prosthetic device using local flexible materials at his center in Rajasthan, India. The main beneficiaries were those suffering from leprosy, who often lose toes, fingers and limbs as the disease reduces sense of feeling. Later, those wounded by land mines in Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion increased demand.
His center created other devices to help, for instance, injured women to feed their children, attend their families, and for men to manipulate hand tools. We worked with his center to help improve market outreach and obtained some recognition for it and him from Prime Minister Indira Gandhi.
• Suharto was the former authoritarian president of Indonesia. Like many Javanese, he used only one name. He was a leading general in the resistance to Japan during World War II. I met him a number of times. While realizing his political approach, my task was to help to improve services for children. He was supportive through an innovative method of financing controlled by his office, bypassing troublesome parliaments and bureaucrats with grants directly to villages.
The passing of these men is normal. They were all in their 80s. It is something I shall need to get used to.
The writer lives in Greensboro.
Comments (4)
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Saying goodbye is not easy sometimes David. I have been doing this since I was diagnosed with a Carcinoid Tumor of the small intestines, that has spread to my liver and I now have a large mass on my left ovary.
I am amazed at folks who tell me, "When are you starting treatments?" They are oblivious to the fact that there is no cure for this rare type of cancer, although they could look up the details on WebMD, if they were really interested...smiles. I am a way to simple minded country girl I guess. I am only 52 and will be 53 in July, if God allows me to live this long.
I have been saying goodbye to family and friends since Sept., and it was confirmed at Wake Forest Baptist, that I indeed had a Carcinoid.
On WebMD the progonosis for life after this kind of cancer has spread to the liver is about 2 years tops. The doctors at High Point hospital found the leisons in my liver a year ago this month. So far I am still working every day and doing pretty well. For that I am blessed!
You did not mention how old you were or what was causing you to say goodbye at this time in your life, but I am here anytime you would like to share or talk...
Posted on February 2, 2008 9:32 AM
Kat,
God bless you, dear. I lost a dear family member to this scourge. One of the hardest things I have ever done in my life is saying goodbye to him. He was my mentor, best friend, and advisor for many, many years.
Peace be with you.
Posted on February 2, 2008 4:14 PM
Kat,
Thank you for sharing. I know this was not easy for you to do as you are a private person. I also know you did it, not for yourself, but to remind everyone that every day God gives us is precious and not to be taken for granted or squandered.
You are a blessing, Kat. You have shown courage and grace under the most trying of situations. Under the circumstances, I can say I would have been so angry that the cancer was not diagnosed earlier (when a possible treatment may have helped). You have not played the blame game but have carried on as usual. I continue to pray for you and ask prayer at my church for you.
Posted on February 3, 2008 11:05 AM
Thanks Yvonne for your above concern, love and prayers.
You are correct that I am not going to play the blame game. If there is anything I could do to change or be positive about or for folks in the future it would be: If your family doctor says you have IBS and give you medication to relieve the pain, listen to my humble advice.
I had and still have for 25 years excellent company insurance and regular health care and yearly check ups. About 8 years ago I was diagnosed with IBS Irritable Bowel Syndrome because of stomach pain that would put me out of work for 2 to 3 days at a time around every 3 to 6 months. Without complete testing of a CT scan or MRI of the stomach abdomen area by my family doctor. We now know that the small intestines was the issue the whole 8 years. Which these tests would or could have shown the tumor...before spreading to my liver…
So please, if your family doctor says you have IBS, insist on more complete testing!!!
Posted on February 4, 2008 3:12 PM