The parenting load never is balanced
The following is a Counterpoint.
By Kim Leipham-Freedman
Kathleen Parker (column, June 21) makes a valid point: Women probably have a gender bias that accounts for their desire to stay home and care for their newborns. But when she goes on to agree with Stephen Rhoades’ conclusion that “women simply like child care more than men,” Parker puts herself on a slippery slope. Those of us in the trenches know that child care is only part of parenthood.
Life with children can be wonderful, but it is also is filled with endless, mindless, monotonous tasks. Show me a modern mom who “likes” filling out 42 permission slips and 18 sports waivers or “enjoys” juggling visits to the pediatrician, guitar teacher and orthodontist and I’ll show you a woman who is spiking her organic tea.
Parker tells us that even the folks at Harvard have determined that our rut of domestic inequality probably goes back to our hunter-gatherer forebears, and that some things “just are.” She speaks about men and women having “different” parenting standards, implying that men are somehow not as good in the parenting department. Rubbish.
I’m less inclined to blame genetics for my husband’s inability to handle the ins and outs of camp registration. (His incompetence is in fact delivered with a particular genius.) But his parenting is in no way worse than mine. On any given day we both can be fairly incompetent.
Getting the insufferable jobs done isn’t about genetics or gender. Truth be told, the division of labor in families is never fair, and until the kids can list their own medical histories complete with group insurance numbers and emergency contact information, it never will be.
The writer lives in Greensboro.
Comments (6)
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We can thank lawyers for some of our mindless, monotonous tasks. The permission slips my mother signed were little slips of paper with no insurance numbers involved. I'm sure my grandmother never had to fill out a permission slip.
The forms I fill out for my children every year would fill entire filing cabinets. I think by now every person in the state has my medical insurance number, six emergency telephone contacts, and a pile of those ridiculous "medical privacy" forms that every medical office had to start handing out to every person that walks within 50 feet of their front door!
Lets save some trees by sending half our lawyers as special agents to harass our ENEMIES instead of us and to ruin THEIR economies--that will have those terrorists begging for mercy.
Posted on July 3, 2008 6:56 AM
Mamaboilermaker,
I enjoyed the ltte and your response. Levity can make a point better than any other way. And that point is better remembered. Although I did have to sign permission slips for my children back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I did not have to provide any ins. numbers. In fact, for a small sum, parents could buy insurance thru the school at the beginning of the year and not worry about it again until the next year.
Of course any reasonable way of handling things went out the window when the stone tablets were abandoned.
BTW, how about including most politicians with the lawyers when the trip to Iraq is finalized. Not only will the terrorist beg for mercy, they will be willing to pay us to bring our "help" home.
Posted on July 3, 2008 9:06 AM
Works for me! Since most politicians are lawyers, they should certainly be the first to go overseas. Goes along with a letter earlier this week that suggested outsourcing politicians.
Of course, we need to replace those politicians and lawyers who are sent overseas, so I suggest we replace them with......MOTHERS! We know how to make $2 worth of ground beef into a meal for 10. Balancing the federal budget will be a breeze. Anybody who refuses to do their chores will be sent to their rooms without dessert. Anybody who breaks their neighbor's stuff will have to pay for it out of their own allowance. And any senators using bad language will have their mouths washed out with soap, regardless of seniority or party affiliation.
Mothers, are you ready?
Posted on July 3, 2008 10:37 AM
Works for me! Since most politicians are lawyers, they should certainly be the first to go overseas. Goes along with a letter earlier this week that suggested outsourcing politicians.
Of course, we need to replace those politicians and lawyers who are sent overseas, so I suggest we replace them with......MOTHERS! We know how to make $2 worth of ground beef into a meal for 10. Balancing the federal budget will be a breeze. Anybody who refuses to do their chores will be sent to their rooms without dessert. Anybody who breaks their neighbor's stuff will have to pay for it out of their own allowance. And any senators using bad language will have their mouths washed out with soap, regardless of seniority or party affiliation.
Mothers, are you ready?
Posted on July 3, 2008 10:52 AM
Works for me! Since most politicians are lawyers, they should certainly be the first to go overseas. Goes along with a letter earlier this week that suggested outsourcing politicians.
Of course, we need to replace those politicians and lawyers who are sent overseas, so I suggest we replace them with......MOTHERS! We know how to make $2 worth of ground beef into a meal for 10. Balancing the federal budget will be a breeze. Anybody who refuses to do their chores will be sent to their rooms without dessert. Anybody who breaks their neighbor's stuff will have to pay for it out of their own allowance. And any senators using bad language will have their mouths washed out with soap, regardless of seniority or party affiliation.
Mothers, are you ready?
Posted on July 3, 2008 10:52 AM
All those tactics are proven tried and true. I've always said a woman, wife and mother had what it takes to run this country. Women who have been wives and mothers have experience beyond measure.
Posted on July 4, 2008 2:52 AM