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The unwinnable war: man versus 'tree rat’

It saddened me to read that Gibsonville police considered dedicating two officers to kill squirrels in Bobby Webster’s backyard (story, Nov. 21). I’m not worried about the squirrels, mind you. I’m worried about the morale of the officers when they realize their efforts have failed.

I’ve fought the squirrel wars for more than 20 years. I’ve tried everything under the sun, legal and illegal, short of dynamite, bazookas and renting hawks. You animal-rights folks need not worry; no squirrels have ever been injured in these exercises.

Once I trapped squirrels and released them in nice neighborhoods like Webster’s. They beat me back home. When civilization ends, squirrels will still be here, gnawing on anything left of any value.

My tree rats (genus: ratus aggravatus) consumed my pecans while still green this year. I have wished the green pecan flux on them, but they seem unfazed. In poor pecan years, these squirrels live on Time Warner cables, telephone lines, electrical wiring and my flower bulbs.

In my later years, I have come to an understanding with squirrels. I understand that they’ve won.

I do have a word of advice for Webster, though: Move.

Warren Dixon
Liberty

Comments (3)

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Beachwalker [TypeKey Profile Page] said:

My dad has killed 10 tree rats so far this year. (He finnally got tired of shooting.) 12 more took their place. one year he ran an electric fence wire around the base of the trees. But he still had to trim back some branches. The little varments would jump from one tree to the next. It was fun to watch the little devils get a kick from the electric fence though. He was able to savage most of his pecans that year.

chucka [TypeKey Profile Page] said:

thank you warren, thank you beach and gnr for newsworthy comments. Moving helps. Thats good advice. A lynx is the only thing that will make a squirrel move.

J Peterman Reality Tour [TypeKey Profile Page] said:

Wow . . . that's what you decided to write to the paper and voice about . . .

. . . the squirrels must be impressed . . .

Due to recent automated spamming attacks on our blogs, we are temporarily requiring commenters to authenticate themselves via TypeKey® before posting comments to any News & Record blog in order to prevent denials of service. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.

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