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Your twofold 'solution' is inadequate, Ms. Chambers. The problem (imo) is lack of upbringing brought about by rewarding mediocrity in the gubbermint indoctrination camps.

Discipline and teaching was pushed aside so the shillrun could experience 'diversity'. Gangs now run amok in the public zoo system. Graffiti and colors have replaced dicipline and respect.

Thank you liberalism.

Laura,

In part, I agree with your assessment. However, as one who has dealt with jail/prison "frequent fliers", I often see the lack of effort to make a permanent change. As a society we can help by educating, relocating and rehabilitating up to a point only. We cannot make people give up the drug habits, the association with people whose only goal is to drag everyone down with them or give them self-worth. Without the willingness of offenders to participate in their own rehabilitation, I'm skeptical about their recovery. In those situations it is a waste of taxpayer money.

Change the outdated law making it OK to drop out of high school before earning a diploma.

Won't work...we have mandatory school attendance until age 16...notice I said attendance, not education. You can lead the proverbial horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Dr. Grier's big thing was dropout prevention, and we all saw how that worked. Keep the unwilling and unruly in school at all costs, to the detriment of the learning environment.

I know it is tough to make it without an education. Don't have any solutions but don't think throwing money at anything will work.

I ponder how many of these inmates were actually unwanted pregnancies that the mother just didnt' have the means, money, or had the baby because they have been taught it was wrong and then neglected the child and now they have grown to be the thugs that I spoke of in my comment to "Obama's abortion stance defies teachings of God."

I don't think liberalism has anything to do with it neocon. It is poor parenting and the fact that parents leave the upbringing of their children to the television and video games.

There is no woman on earth any better than my sister, imho. She lives her live in devotion to God, shares her blessings and is a "conservative" politically. The rearing of her grandson was basically left to her. She taught him about responsibility, the love of God, right from wrong and all the things most parents who love their children teach their children (like water off a duck's back, for all the good it did). The one thing I think she failed in was accountability.

At any rate, he showed a proclivity for evilness as young as four. My sis has spent a fortune on child psychiatrists, testing, therapy and medication. All to no avail. She has loved him, prayed for him and tried to get to the root of his problems.

All of this is to say, good people can rear bad children. However, I agree overindulgence and wanting your children to have an easier life is the downfall of many parents and their children.

You are right noname. Liberalism and conservatism are political mindsets and have little to do with poor parenting. By the same token, poor parenting is not always the cause of criminals. (I'm not saying you implied it was, only that the implication has been made every time this comes up, by some.)

Good points, Yvonne. The best student I taught was raised by a single mom in the projects. He had one brother by another dad. They were raised in the same situation...one was awesome, one was less that perfect, and that is putting it nicely. Good parenting works most of the time.

I agree that two children from the same family can be very different, I have a friend that has two sons, one owns his own business and is a professional drag racer, (He's a jerk but that's beside the point) the other son (who was the nice one of the two) is in prison for murder. go figure. I'm pretty sure they were raised much in the same manner, with a subservient mother and an abusive, controling father. I know this to be true because my friend has told me and my husband was friends with these two guys during their school years. These guys are in their 50's now.

My main point is that way too many kids are being raise today by the tv and video games. It's so much easier to sit your kids down in front of a boob tube and go about your own selfish business than to give quality time to the children that you brought into this world.

Obviously there is more fun in creating the little ones than it is in raising them. They learn violence, complacency, self centeredness, and sex, in front of the tv and it is accepted. The brain washing is so gradual and subtle that very few realize they are being brain washed.

Video games, don't get me started on that one. I know of parents that allow their 8 year old to play "grand theft auto" and other violent games, thus giving them a taste of "virtual blood" so when the games get boring they go out and try it for real.

Unfortunately too many of today's parents were raised the same way and dont' know any better.

Yvonne, do you suppose that your sister's grandson was acting out because he "was being raised by his grandmother instead of his mother" Kids that aren't raised by their parents grow up with a feeling of being unwanted, I can only imagine how that must feel to a youngster knowing that Mom is too busy with her own life to take the time to raise the child she brought into this world. Unfortunately with, grandparents raising grandkids, many times they don't have the energy or the backbone to make the kids do as they should.

I know of a young retarded woman who was raised by step-grandparents (she is orphaned) who is allowed every luxury they can afford and some they cannot. These are lower middle class people who have bought, a motorcoach to take her to the beach, (she lost interest in the beach years ago, so the coach sits in the yard, with them still paying taxes on it and keeping insurance and tags on it, just in case she wants to go somewhere) a swimming pool that she swims in about twice during the summer, more CD's and videos than she could ever possibly listen to or watch, a big screen tv in her room, a high dollar computer, (all she does on it is send e-mail back and forth to her boyfriend)
Every electronic gadget she sees that she wants, a cupboard full (and I mean about 3 cases) of creme of mushroom soup because she likes it. She will never eat it all because every time she goes to the store she gets more. She drains the water heater every time she takes a shower. These are only a few of the things that go on with this young woman.

She is exceptionally over indulged because the grandparents just don't know how to be assertive enough to say no. She is out of control with spending and spoiled rotten.

My sister is also one who, after raising 5 children of her own, is now assisting with raising her 6 grandchildren. The moms are there and raising their children but unfortunately my sis has allowed herself to become a free babysitter and when they built their new house it was built with extra bedrooms for the grandkids. So far the kids are turning out ok most are still pretty young and one is autistic.

KIds need to know they are loved and wanted but there needs to be a balance of restraint and control.

The boy's mother, my niece, divorced before he was born. After his birth, she was afraid to stay by herself. She sold her house and moved in with my sis. (Her dad, my sis's husband, had health issues although he was a relatively young man. It was a blessing, of sorts, for my sister to have someone stay with him.)

Unfortunately my sis, with all good intentions, usurped my niece's role as the boy's mother. After a while, my niece began to feel like the boy's sister rather than his mom. Anyway, after six years, my niece met someone and decided to move in with him.

Well, my sis, being true to her belief that living with a man and not being married to him was sinful, she told my niece she was not going to take the child into a "den of sin". My niece stayed in the boys life but he lived with my sis.

I can see how he may have felt abandoned, for his mom to live apart from him. However, this does not account for the sociopathic behaviors displayed before this occurrence. He was acting antisocial almost before he could say the word.

My take on it is, and I know many will disagree, is the child (age 17) was born that way. I believe he is evil as a result of being born without the ability to develop a conscience. Sad but true.

At one time I felt sorry for him, tried to explain away his antisocial behavior while being cautious not to justify it. Today, I have no sympathy or love for him and darn little understanding. He has destroyed it all. The only reason I do not wish for someone to lance that boil on the butt of humanity is because it would hurt my sis so much.

Yvonne, I hope I am safe in assuming that this child was tested for autism, and ADD ( both of which interferes with social behavior and the ability to behave like other children.)

Not only has my sister got a grandchild that is autistic but a son also. The son was quite a handful growing up, he still has a problem with antisocial behavior and violence, but he is getting better at 22 he now holds a job once in a while, but still lives at home. He has been suicidal on many occasions, but when they took him to the emergency room one time they sat in the waiting room until he was calmed down and then he was sent home with no diagnosis or treatment. So many with autism get shoved under the rug and never get the help they need.

I have a son that at 30 has adult ADD (yes, it does carry over into adulthood) and has had great problems fitting in and staying employed. He was never properly diagnosed either until he was in his early 20's by then it was too late for school, where he had many problems with socializing and staying on task or even staying in his seat most of the time and was labeled by teachers as a problem child and was put in the back of the room and ignored, now this was a child with an IQ of 152 (he was first tested at age 4 with a test geared toward an 8 year old!!) all the while he was scoring in the top 1% in the country on standardized acheivement tests!! He dropped out of school after the 10th grade (his father passed away at this time in his young life) and never went back. He got involved in video games and a game called Magic the Gathering,( Anybody out there with young kids wanting to play these games my advice is: DON'T LET THEM, THEY ARE NOT A GOOD INFLUENCE ON THE YOUNG MIND!!!) they are as addictive as any drug!!

He has floundered ever since, used people and messed up everything that anybody tried to do to help him, and has managed to put himself on the street to live on several occasions. It has been heartbreaking but I realized after my last attempt to get him some help he was not interested in what I had to offer him and I bowed out of his life. He is now living in Indiana and doing better since there is no one there for him to use and take advantage of. Many times he appears to have no conscience also.

Your young nephew may appear to be worthless and a problem child, but he is still just that, a child, in need of understanding, he is crying out for help by doing things that are unacceptable to many. Don't cast him aside just yet. Give him the benefit of the doubt he is only 17. He has alot of growing up to do.

Yvonne, I grieve with you and your sister. A friend recommended a book to me "Relief for Hurting Parents" by Buddy Scott. Many at my church have found it helpful. I was skeptical, as there are many mediocre parenting books out there, but this one is truly different. Scott covers even the most severe circumstances, such as when/if to send a child to a treatment facility, how to choose a counselor who will help, not hurt, and when to consider foster care.

Bad kids do happen to good people. And some of us, though we screw up terribly at times, are blessed with good children anyway.

noname and mamaB,

Thank you for your kind words. For my sister's sake, I hope you are right about her grandson. His is either off to jail or be admitted to the DART program at Goldsboro for 90 days. He has been on probation for a couple of years and has failed several drug tests. He continues to steal, lie, manipulate, threaten, take drugs and destroy property. My sis has had to buy a large safe in which to lock any money or valuables, buy a stun gun for safety and an alarm system for the house.

I will pick the book up the next time I am out, mamaB. At this point, it can't hurt and may very well help.

My heart goes out to you, noname. I know it has been hell to have to cut ties with your son. Sometimes preservation of your sanity and the rest of your family unit requires it though. Most call it "tough love". I call it "last resort love" because parents generally don't make those choices until every other option has failed.

This only reinforces my original statement. Unless you have folks who want to participate in their own wellness, you cannot (as Carol said) throw enough money at it to make it work.

Yvonne, if you can't find the book it is available on Buddy Scott's website (just google him.)

As another word of encouragement, one of my sisters went a bit wild as a teen. Having her daughter was her wake up call--she realized she had better grow up or life would go from bad to worse. She is now gainfully employed, in a non-abusive relationship, and the mother of a young woman who works in the medical field. Happy endings, although the journey can be rough.