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Welcome to the Bargain Blog, the latest News & Record blog and the only one devoted to finding mind-blowing deals in the Triad.
The bargains are so shocking, so incredible, and so breathtaking that I have to ask people taking medication for heart problems to stop reading this...now...
I'll give you a minute to click to another Internet site. Hurry - we don't have all day. Thanks.
OK. Now for the rest of us...
Today's topic: Movie tickets done dirt cheap.
Let's say you want to take your significant other to a movie because, well, sitting at home watching me, ah, that person play Xbox or watch golf is getting tiresome.
But you don't want to spend a fortune. (Well, duh, who does?)
Fear not. Dr. Fuchs is writing a prescription for: (chorus of voices begins shouting the following) "movie tickets, done dirt cheap!"
My wife and I saw ''Hitch'' when it was new in theaters for a total of $7 at Brassfield Cinema 10 on Battleground Avenue in Greensboro.
That's pretty darn good when you consider the average price for a ticket these days is $6.21.
We did see it before 6 p.m. Prices rise to $5.50 after 6.
The next closest movie theater from Brassfield was charging $5.75 a ticket before 6 p.m. But in fairness to The Grande at Friendly Shopping Center, its 16 theaters have stadium-style seating and a little more leg room.
But I'd rather spend that extra $4.50 buying a few ounces of gas or using it toward another deal you can sink your teeth into - steak. I'll let you savor that one until tomorrow's entry.

The days are getting longer. Spring is upon us. Yes, it must be time to do yard work, clean the gutters and mow the lawn.
Please.
Who has time for that when you've got grilling on the brain and a propane tank to fill?
Keep in mind yard work can wait until tomorrow.
Here are a few examples of some hot deals out there:
Food Lion has boneless New York strip steak on sale for $5.47 a pound.
Harris Teeter has London broil on sale (by one, get one free).
Lowes Foods has Hereford boneless sirloin tip roast for $2.99 a pound.
Sales end today (Tuesday) and bonus cards are required, so bring 'em. Otherwise you'll be the one holding up the line because you have to bum someone else's card.

I asked co-worker Eric Townsend whether he knew Ham's Restaurant on Battleground Avenue in Greensboro had Yuengling pints for $1 on Thursdays.

"Really?" He asked, his eyes wide as beer glasses.

Now, would I make up something this important just to torment a beer bargain-challenged co-worker? Course not.

Here's some other beer specials I'd recommend checking out for yourself:

Wild Magnolia Cafe on Walker Avenue in Greensboro has $1 pints of Busch Light on Wednesdays.

Brixx Wood-Fired Pizza on Battleground Avenue has $1.50 domestic drafts on Mondays.

In High Point, brewpub Liberty Steakhouse and Brewery next to Oak Hollow Mall has $6 pitchers on Mondays.

In Reidsville, Turks Sports Food & Spirits off South Scales Street has $1 Bud Light and Miller Light drafts Mondays and Tuesdays.

And to borrow a line from Homer Simpson: "Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems."

"If I paid $10 for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it."

- George Burns

Ah, no need. I've found a good cigar for half that price.

The best deal I've seen so far concerning one of my favorite cigars, the Macanudo Hyde Park (5-1/2 inches), is $4.65 at Tobacco USA on Coliseum Boulevard in Greensboro.

Charlie's Tobacco Outlet on Battleground Avenue in Greensboro sells it for $5.35.

J.R. Tobacco of America in Burlington sells it for $5.75.

I bowled two games Tuesday after work with some friends at AMF's All Star Lanes on Holden Road in Greensboro for $2.

Hey, that's less than a gallon of gas these days.

It's $1 a game on Tuesday nights, although those of you without your own shoes pay extra to rent them.

If you're looking for love at your local gym, the workout bargain I'm about to describe probably won't fly.

But for the rest of us who are married or otherwise committed, here it is: Just let yourself go.

OK, that's not a viable option. At least my wife seems to feel that way. (Geez, some people.) So here's plan B: