Your inner pig-out child is calling
And here's what he's saying:
"Look. You need to lighten up a little by fattening up once in a while. It's good for the soul. Cholesterol schmlesterol."
Good thing we have Olive Garden. It's having it's annual all-you-can eat (not all you care to eat, as if qualifying a special with "care" means you'll eat less. It's all you can eat. Sorry Olive Garden, you're going to lose money when I step foot in your restaurant.) pasta special for $7.95.
You think you can handle the pasta, Townsend? I challenge you to a food duel: I say we sit down and see who can eat the most plates of pasta. Loser has to brag about the winner in the office, tell everyone what a pig he is.
Wait. That doesn't sound right.