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"Do parents pressure students too much?"

They don't in Greensboro Schools but they do in High Point Schools. I can't really put my finger on why, it's just a different kind of town.

I've worked with honors students and low performing students and the honors students generally have more pressure on them than regular students. Overall, parents need to be pressuring their students more. Students get by with far too much behaviorally and academically and their lackadaisical attitudes do nothing to help them in college or the workforce.

Will it really sink in for students if parents "pressure" them while demonstrating dismissive attitudes in their own way of thinking towards those nerdy, elitist intellectuals who actually do employ higher-level critical thinking skills? I think kids get the mesage from culture AND parents alike that while "success" may come to those who "work hard", that may just mean suffering through memorization and regurgiatation, rather than applying principles of sound theory and research, hypothesis-testing and sheer love of learning. Where is the evidence parents give a hoot about the great books of literature the kids are supposed to be reading? Why should kids care about classical music or art if their parents model disdain or ignorance of such things?

Or should schools give up teaching the best works of mankind (and women, too) and just drill, drill, drill memoriztion of rules and math solutions, without context oir passion? Would that satisfy said pushy parents? I doubt it. To every parent (short of the more serious learning disabilities), their child is and should be, a potential genius (until disappointment sets in). But when parents drop their own interest (if they had it) in arts and higher science/math, the kids have less inclination to toil for the all-important diploma.

Freddy,

After reading many of your posts, I get the impression that you're not a huge fan of Math. Yes - Math requires memorization - that's just the way it is. Memorize the laws of Mathematics and then creatively apply what you've learned to solve a problem.

I've been doing that now for over 30 years.

Pressure the day before a test or pressure a week before the SAT exam is harmful and not very productive.

Parents should place their most attention in providing an environment wherein the child can thrive academically. This means not over scheduling the child. Encourage reading. Having a quiet place for the child to read and study. It means taking the computers out of the bedrooms. It means instilling in the child that homework is good not bad. Homework and reading on weekends is ok. That is when children have extra time. If you have a place at the beach, it means leaving and returning at decent hours. We ask our children how they feel too much. They have to understand learning and homework is not optional and the consequences in their life will be great unless they do well in school. They must understand that all colleges are not the same. They must go to the best college they can get in to in order to have options for Graduate School and to stand out in the job search. Top students know exactly what they are doing. Its a shame that ambitious driving and excited students represent only 5 to 10 percent in most of our High Schools.

Joe,

Good information and I agree with most. My only point of debate would be "the best college they can get in to in order to have options for Graduate school and to stand out in the job search."

There are still professions, and mine is one, where the name of the college is not nearly as important as the major and the grades attained.

(e.g. - Engineering)

I agree.

The key is staying out of the bottom of the class. If you are a top student at NC State, you may well have more opportunities than if you are in the bottom 1/2 of the class at MIT. There is no question about that. What I see is students in the middle class at Duke & Princton getting into Medical School where only the very top at UNC Chapel Hill could get in. There are few private universities in engineering. Often the best in engineering are state schools. I generalized in a reckless manner. Pls accept my apology.

Joe,

All children should be so lucky to have a wise dad like you. You offer great advice and Guilford county is lucky to have you watching closely what goes on in our schools.

If it's okay, we should start calling you "Grandpa Joe".

Sincerely, thank you for all the board-watching that you do. If everyone paid such close attention, they wouldn't get away with so much.

Bless you Joe

I certainly do enjoy mathematics, especially as they get to higher levels. I guess I should have emphasized the rote nature of learning anything, as opposed to applying it in exciting ways and stretching one's mind. I have nothing at all against knowing math, per se. It is the over-emphasis and sole expectation many have that sptting theorems back makes anyone any smarter. Leonardo knew his math, but applied it. Ditto Einstein. Of course some memorization is needed, but it isn't the singular goal, is it?

The problem with this issue is the term "pressure". While it has such a negative connotation in our society and is highly equated with stress and probably appropriately so, “pressure” need not be a negative. Youth who understand the rewards of a “good” education, will pressure themselves. Any parent knows that "pressure" and "motivation" are slippery creatures and finding a balance between incentive and consequence is the most difficult thing about parenthood.

Sadly, most parents finally realize that pressuring a teen is like pushing a wet noodle up a hill. Motivation, incentives and consequences all are better accomplished through education and training in the elementary school environment supporting the family experience. Positive reinforcement and continued judicious discipline is the best you can do when the teen years come.

Great teachers and a quality elementary school experience will make the most difference in a teen’s life and that is where our schools must do more. A disciplined, structured and safe environment will do more for the education system to support parents and provide a nurturing atmosphere to children of parents who do not know better. My father, a single parent was usually at the bar and some good teachers managed to impress upon me that finishing college was important. I have a large place in my heart for teachers, they, along with the family are the cornerstones of our nation and one of society’s most important guardians.

Garth,

Amen.

Garth,
Amen with one proviso.

Elementary teachers are important, but we have thousands of kids that do well in Elementary School but cannot sustain the excellance thru Middle School. Concentrating on Elementary School will not get us where we want to be.

Best regards,

Joe you are absolutely right, it must start there and go to the middle and High Schools. The advantage to elementary schools is that it is easier to set limits and discipline early and maintain it. Same with standards of excellence. Start young and maintain the standard.
Thanks