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Return of the Lunk Alarm

A few months ago I wrote about our gym on the Triad Diary blog.

The highlight was its bizarre "Lunk Alarm" -- a large blue light and siren that go off whenever anyone grunts, drops weights or "judges" other people. This is designed to make people who are really out of shape and most need to go to the gym feel as though they won't be intimidated weight lifters and bodybuilders. The weight lifters and bodybuilders can, apparently, fend for themselves.

The thing's never gone off at our gym -- and Amanda theorized that it might not even work, that it's just there to psych out the potential grunters.

But then last night, it actually sounded.

Amanda was in the locker room. She heard it, but I saw it. The poor guy who'd done the grunting looked confused when a gym employee came over to scold him as others looked on. He thought the noises he'd made were basic "I'm lifting something heavy" noises.

Shows what he knows.

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"The weight lifters and bodybuilders can, apparently, fend for themselves."

-Talk about biting the muscle-bound hand that feeds them.

Other than the one about dropping weights or smacking plates - both are dangerous and damage the gym equipment - rules like that are ridiculous. I'm prone to the occasional grunting, especially when I am doing serious abdominal exercises. I never do it to get 'psyched' or pumped up. I got my Rocky soundtrack collection on my iPod for that.

But when I do grunt, it's basically me breathing, and then having that breath of air challenged by strain. Weakness leaving the body, as a U.S. marine might say. And weakness seldom leaves at least a male's body without receiving the faintest of eulogies most people refer to as a grunt.

Sure there are power-men who hit up my YMCA, grunt, shout, and do this 'WHEEE!' thing in the back of their throats, but even then, as a guy who's working hard to get in shape, if I let supplement monsters like that discourage me, then I really don't deserve to be healthy.

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