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1) Smallville had interesting, engaging actors even when the scripts weren't initially very good and the show hadn't gotten a good enough idea of itself not to become Charmed with superheroes. You could watch Lex Luthor do just about anything, and it was interesting. You felt and rooted for Clark even when his dialogue was sort of overwrought and ridiculous.

2) He WAS going to be Superman. You DID want to watch just because of that. But the last time a significant number of people were excited enough about the Flash Gordon character to disregard bad scripts, iffy concepts, wooden acting and bad special effects they were having a phosphate at the local drug store before taking in one of those brand new moving picture shows with their best girl, who they were then going to ask to wear their pin.

The level of enthusiasm among average, non-geek people about Flash Gordon is best summed up by the reaction of not one but three very intelligent friends who I've told about the new show:

"Wait, wait...who's Flash Gordon?"

That sort of thing is a hole you're going to have to dig yourself out of -- but it's also an opportunity. If the audience isn't terribly familiar with the property you can change the things about it that don't work (Mongo as a giant asteroid speeding toward the Earth, Flash Gordon as a hero because...well, because he's good looking and athletic and that's about it). No one's going to riot if you tinker a bit.

Some of the tinkering is very good. They made Mongo an alternate dimension rather than a giant asteroid and gave Flash a little depth and motivation by explaining that his father disappeared into that dimension when he was 13.

But some of the tinkering...not so much.

For example: Flash has been made sort of loser-y. We meet him about four years after he graduates from high school -- we know this because Dale Arden, his high school sweetheart, has just come back to town after graduating from Yale and becoming (of all things) a local television news reporter (because local TV news is just bursting with Yale grads). He didn't go to college - he took care of his sick mom, with whom he still lives, operating a car mechanic's business out of her house. He doesn't have a girlfriend or even any prospects, despite being conspicuously handsome, driving a gorgeous convertible sports car and wearing very expensive clothing.

His big claim to fame -- he's won the home-town marathon three years running. He runs very fast. Hence the nickname.

But even this little detail is sort of...wonky. They live in a town that's small enough so that people notice when there's someone new and strange in town but large enough that there are nightclubs where people can't get in. His "fame" at winning the local marathon is enough that he's a local celebrity, the velvet rope being lifted for him and people oohing and ahhhing.

But here's the thing: except for other marathon runners, no one knows or cares who championship marathon runners are. I'll bet you everything in my wallet you couldn't tell me, off the top of your head, who the last three winners of the New York or Boston marathons were. And those are the New York and Boston Marathons. Most people couldn't name more than one Olympic level runner. If you hinted to a hip club's bouncer that you should get in -- and get in for free -- because you're a marathon runner he'd laugh at you until blood came out of his nose. Then he'd punch you repeatedly in the kidneys before depositing you in the urine-filled gutter behind the club, where even the rats would think you were kind of pathetic.

I think I'd let this slide a bit more if the actor seemed like he could pull it off. But beyond sort of looking like he's supposed to play Flash Gordon, Eric Johnson doesn't really cut it. He is literally leftovers from Smallville, having played a forgettable character in the first season and the shape-shifting monster who impersonates him and then...disappearing. He's generally sort of stiff and uninteresting to watch and even when he's mourning at his vanished father's grave or trying to flirt with the Dale Arden character (with whom he has zero natural chemistry) I just don't believe it.

The show also, to this point, takes itself way too seriously. Very few jokes and none of them are very good. The BBC show Doctor Who, in its latest iteration, gets past its sort of crummy special effects, wild and ridiculous concepts and unbelievable characters largely on charm, wit and brashness. And I'd watch that show any day of the week and twice on Sundays for it -- the writing is good, they're doing it all with a sort of wink and they have enough strong actors (usually just two) to keep you watching.

Flash Gordon...not so much.

The next two episodes have apparently come into the office and I'm definitely going to watch them. You can't set your opinion in stone based on the rough cut of a pilot episode. But they're going to have to be pretty impressive to get over this hump.