Video games and chicks and respect
I realize that many consider me an oddity in the world of gaming -- I'm a woman who actually enjoys playing video games, who spends money and time on my hobby, and who could probably kick your butt at many of the games I play.
According to the Entertainment Software Association, 43 percent of video-game players are female, and it's a growing population. Granted, part of that number includes people like my mom, who play casual games online such as Bejeweled and Mahjong. But a large number of that percentage are people like me -- women who enjoy playing all those video games that are marketed so strongly toward men. Knights of the Old Republic, the Grand Theft Auto series, Gauntlet, Baldur's Gate, the Dead or Alive series -- these top the list of the games I play over and over again.
Even if I don't fit your preconceived notion of what a gamer looks like, I deserve to be treated with respect -- something that is severely lacking for female gamers in many areas of the gaming world.
My nickname in multiplayer games is an androgynous one. I used to go by a female-specific name, but too many of the boys refused to play with a chick. It took a few weeks of getting booted or left in an online room by myself when trying to play Civ online for me to figure out what the problem was. As soon as I changed my name, I had no more problems. (Although I did delight in revealing myself to be a female as soon as I took down someone's empire.) There is another online turn-based war game I play where I am consistently in the top 10 -- and there is always surprise and shock when others find out I'm female.
It's harder to disguise your gender when playing Xbox Live, where you use headsets to talk to other people while playing. I've heard many rants from my female gamer friends who play often -- once they hear your voice, the nature of the taunts change from "I'm gonna pwn you" to "I'm gonna rape you" or "suck my *ick". Immediately sex becomes the insult -- words such as "bitch" and "*unt" are commonly heard.
Outside of the games, I've been a victim of the same sort of discrimination many times. The most recent was yesterday, when I went to purchase a video game for my husband for his birthday. I went to Target instead of the normal Gamestop (where I've never had problems) because I had other items to purchase as well. I had the clerk get NCAA Football for the 360 out of the case for me, and as I put the wrapping paper and birthday card on the counter for him to ring up as well, he asked me whose birthday it was. When I told him, he asked if my husband knew what he was getting -- I told him that I had already bought him a Wii and given it to him, so yeah, he knew what his main present was. Clerk: "Oh, did you need this game for the Wii?" Me: "No, I need it for the 360. I don't think they make it for the Wii." This back-and-forth went on for a minute, with him asking me if I was sure this is what he wanted, and me assuring him I knew what I was getting. Then, when he asked me if I wanted a card that would let me save 10 percent, he told me that all the savings on those video games my husband bought would add up over time. At which point I told that WE bought OUR video games from Gamestop normally.
This sort of patronizing attitude happens a lot in electronics stores -- when we went wireless, the sales clerk physically turned his body toward my husband and addressed him only. My husband got upset with me when we walked an aisle over and I very loudly talked about how sales people shouldn't ignore women and treat them like they are idiots when it comes to electronics.
What many salespersons don't realize (or don't act like they realize) is that women can be just as knowledgeable about video games and other male-dominated hobbies. In fact, in my family, I was the one to initiate the purchase of the Wii and 360.
And I won't even get into the mostly male protagonists in video games here -- or the fact that when we get a female protagonist, her clothing leaves little to the imagination. I mean, really, chicks with swords would never wear a leather bikini, leaving their midriff open to attack.
Ladies, what are your experiences with gaming? Guys, how do you treat female gamers? Do you notice any change in your reactions, or do you make an effort to treat them as one of the guys?
Comments (4)
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Honestly, I believe 95% of any bias any one notices tends to be imagined or self-fulfilling prophecy type stuff.
That being said, I don't treat women gamers as "one of teh guys" b/c that's just as much a label as "woman gamer" - I treat everyone on an individual basis and if everyone else were to do the same the world would be a better place.
Posted on August 8, 2007 6:00 PM
I agree that sometimes it's self-fulfilling, but I've seen too many examples where it was so blatant that it's obvious to anyone who looks. My husband notices it in regards to me, as well, so it's not always just my perceptions.
And I would love for everyone to be treated on an individual basis, as well.
Posted on August 8, 2007 6:04 PM
My mother became a closet gamer the first time she picked up a joystick to play 'pong' (gah!) Eventually she moved to a pc with such classics as Jane of the Jungle and Kyrandia but never liked the feel of the keyboard. My parents celebrated their 45th anniversary by buying a play station. Ready to rock they skimmed through the display of games. A helpful clerk asked them the age of their grandson. They looked at each other, smiled, and said '16' then stocked up on a stack of adventure and platform games. At 72 she occasionally has to call in a ringer to help her through some of the quicker moves. I definitely wouldn't challenge her one on one. I wouldn't hesitate to lay bets against any fool whippersnapper that thinks he or she could take my mom on.
Posted on August 9, 2007 9:37 PM
I believe a large part of it is that, lets face it, not many women play videogames. While I fully respect women who do and think its actually pretty cool, most people (including possibly dept store employees) are used to dealing with males in general. I mean that with no discrimination, whatsoever. For example, my girlfriend despises videogames....I rarely play them and frankly wonder how I stumbled on this internet site..but the subject of an Xbox 360 came up and you would have thought I cheated on her. It was ugly. Granted this is just one case, one scenario...my point here is that there are potentially many guys out there who's girlfriends do not approve of videogames; leading guys to believe that women are not typically involved with buying/playing videogames. I'm sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences. While i don't think these experiences were due to a weak vibe from you by any means, try to put them aside. Because the more you begin to expect this treatment from men, the more you will attract it. In the mean time...KEEP GAMING!!!!! :)
Posted on October 30, 2008 10:03 PM