Fast Food Friday: Hardees' Hawiian Chicken Sandwich
Having finally completely digested the Baconator which was my inaugural Fast Food Friday adventure, I found myself ready, at the end of a long week, to toss my heart, liver and colon back onto the craps table that is fast food dining and let it ride.
Come on -- baby needs a new pair of kidneys!
Wanna blow on these for luck?
Next up in my gastronomically masochistic fast food Rogues Gallery: the new Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich from Hardees (or Carl's Jr., depending on region).
According to Hardees the sandwich is: "a charbroiled chicken breast dressed with red onion, tomato, lettuce and mayonnaise; the chicken breast is then topped with teriyaki sauce, melting Swiss cheese, and a juicy slice of pineapple that has been grilled on the chain’s signature charbroilers."
But it's so much more than that.
It is, in actuality, the fast food equivalent of the girl (or guy) you picked up when you were so unbelievably drunk that you were giddy you hadn't thrown up yet, who you took home when all of your buddies were making quacky-ducky shadow puppet hand signals to try to discreetly warn you off, who, upon waking next to her in the cold light of the morning after, strikes you with the kind of horror that makes you want to gnaw off the arm she's dozing on, dip yourself in bleach and scrub your tongue with Drano.
It's the novelty that makes you tipsy, that makes you abandon your better judgment. It's HAWIIAN! There's effing fruit on this thing! And it's chicken, not beef! Heck, it's probably good for you! It reminds you of that $8 burger you once had in the kitschy Tikki-themed restaurant with three pages of humorously named rum drinks in that vacation resort city you went to that time!
And then you open that brown bag already flecked and spotted through with grease and confront this thing:
Yes, yes, I know. It's awful. How did I actually eat that? Didn't I want to gag?
Well, no.
The truth is that the thing actually smells pretty good -- a little grilled chicken, a hint of pineapple zest, that tangy teriyaki scent.
And it tastes pretty good too. True, it's hard to savor any one particular part of the sandwich with so many things running together. True, the pineapple is more slimy rubber than fresh and juicy. But, overall, it's a pleasant mash-up of a lot of good flavors.
The problem is the texture.
My problem with Hardees' burgers has always been that most of them are like Michael Bay films -- way too much, way over the top, for no apparent reason. Do we really need a half a cup of mustard, eight slices of cheese and a head of lettuce on every burger? Does it need to have the sick squish of your sneakers after a walk in the rain when you touch it? Does it need to be running down your arms like an ice cream cone in July by the time you're two bites in? This sandwich has all these shortcomings -- plus the extra added fun of trying to keep that slice of pineapple from sliding off the sandwich and into your lap as you eat.
So -- what's the damage, health wise?
Well, we are talking about a Hardees sandwich here -- but you'd be surprised at how not awful for you this one is, relative to much of the rest of the menu.
Calories: 460
Carbohydrates: 46 g
Protein: 33 g
Fat: 16 g
Saturated fat: 3 g
Cholesterol: 75 mg
Sodium: 1130 mg
Compare that to, for instance, McDonalds' Premium Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich:
Calories: 570
Carbohydrates: 52 g
Protein:44 g
Fat: 21 g
Saturated Fat: 7 g
Cholesterol: 100 mg
Sodium:1720
Not so bad.
But grab some napkins.
Comments (19)
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Coyote ugly, for sure. You're a braver man than me. I hope you got re-imbursed.
Posted on September 22, 2007 9:43 AM
No reimbursement for blog related expenses -- but the indigestion is its own reward, really.
Posted on September 22, 2007 10:23 AM
When the subject comes up about gluttony, I have to comment. Hope you don't mind.
Have you tried the Joelburger at Fincastles?
One sandwich may provide your weekly caloric intake requirements.
Check out the Joelburger's gluttoneous humor blog at www.thejoelburger.blogspot.com
Not going to win a Pulitzer but hopefully will generate some chuckles and perhap future dalliances in the gluttoneous pleasure of eating big in America, the land of milk and honey. Now the land of obese and diabetic.
As my Dad, a physician, said enjoy the grease while you can but also work out.
Posted on September 22, 2007 11:12 AM
Thanks for the link. Am going to have to try the Joelburger.
Posted on September 22, 2007 10:35 PM
I work at hardees and ive had the Hawainan Chicken (I can't spell it right) It is actually pretty good but my experiance is that when you eat it you wanna get a bit of pineapple each time. *So get extra Pineapple*!!!
Posted on October 1, 2007 10:19 AM
The Hawiian Chicken Sandwich is sooooo good !! Thank you for giving us something different to choose from in fast foods !!!
Posted on October 6, 2007 6:20 PM
Does anyone know the song in the Hardee's commercial for this sandwich? Looking everywhere! Thank you! :)
Posted on October 7, 2007 7:57 PM
i'm looking for the name of that song too... i really dig it
if you know who it is... you can e-mail me at brandon103@gmail.com
Posted on October 26, 2007 3:34 PM
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