Dumbledore's gay. Who's next to be outted?
Last week J.K. Rowling outed top wizard Albus Dumbledore (of Harry Potter fame) as gay -- well after the last book of the series had gone to press.
There are some who are claiming they knew all along, or at least that the signs were there for those who were looking. Ed Cone pointed to a Metafilter comment thread in which someone said:
"He was a stylish 150-year-old-ish bachelor. You do the math."
If we're going to accept that a character's creator can out a character after all of the canonical work dealing with that character has been produced then I think there are some characters out there who are at least as likely as Dumbledore for a little homosexual retroactive continuity...
(WARNING: Comedic homosexual stereotypes ahead. Satirical. Not to be confused with actual homophobia.)
Top Five Fiction Characters Due for a Posthumous Outing:
1) Alex P. Keaton (Michael J. Fox) from Family Ties.
Fussy, well dressed, bad with girls and a Young Republican. Keaton could have been an innovator, inspiring later conservative homo-conversions by Ted "I was just buying Meth" Haggard, Rep Mark "What are these Page boys for anyway?" Foley and Senator Larry "Wide Stance" Craig.
Rebelling against his super-liberal parents, he would of course have kept his proclivities close to his sweater vest.
2) Thomas Magnum (Tom Selleck) from Magnum PI.
It's not just the stache (though that certainly helps). Magnum is an ex-Navy officer ("Come on and join your fellow man!") who lives with an English butler and whose social circle is composed almost exclusively of fellow ex-sailors, one of whom is a big muscular guy who's constantly wearing open shirts and cut-off shorts and the other a flashy night club owner.
And "Thomas Magnum?"
That's a gay pornstar name if ever I've heard one.
3) Sherlock Holmes
An English bachelor who lives with his English bachelor friend (who marries twice but then mysteriously ends up rooming with Holmes again both times). Holmes has been described as "a confirmed woman hater."
Too easy.
In keeping with Rowling's example we might even surmise that the rivalry with Dr. Moriarty was, in fact, a lover's tift turned battle-to-the-death.
4) Jack Tripper (John Ritter) from Three's Company.
Yeah, I know -- he spent the whole series pretending
he was gay so that his landlord wouldn't mind him living with two single women.
But look at the facts:
- Another ex-Navy guy (see Thomas Magnum)
- A professional chef.
- Was living at the YMCA before moving in with Janet and Chrissy.
- Never got any action with either Janet or Chrissy.
5) Mr. T from The A-Team.
Look at the photo. Nuff said.