Fast Food Friday: Joe vs. The Volcano (Taco)
Having had my pants taken out and my blood pressure continuously monitored since my last Fast Food Friday, I am once again going into the fray. Or at least back to Taco Bell.
After the Big Bell Box Meal I vowed to steer clear of the Bell for a while - but then they introduced this "Volcano Taco."
The commercial suggests that it is both irresistible and extremely unpleasant.
Sadly (and happily?), it was neither...
Let me first assure you that, when it comes to spicy foods, I am no gastronomical light weight.
Hot wings? Yes, please.
Jalepenos? Muchas gracias!
Indian Curry? Haan bilkul!
So when Taco Bell threw down the spice gauntlet, I couldn't resist. I've always considered the chain sort of sub-par when it comes to the spice you get from "real" Mexican food. It seemed likely that if they were serious about spicing it up they'd go the fast food overkill route and simply make it taste like fire -- but I thought I'd give it a chance.
Here's what I got for $1.19:
Yeah -- it's not so pretty under its little pink shell. But that can be said of so many things.
The first thing that hits you is that shell -- it's a different effing color! Deep pink -- almost red! It's gotta be spicy!
But you are mistaken, my friend. Seems they just added some food coloring.
Take a bite and you realize that most of the actual heat comes from the "Cheesy Lava Sauce." Unless my tastebuds betray me, this is basic nacho cheese sauce (yes, the stuff that drenches gas station nachos). Mixed in amongst the meat and cheese there's also what appears to be some standard Taco Bell hot sauce, like you get in the little plastic packets.
This does make it a bit messy, but not exactly "hot."
It's not bad, for a Taco Bell taco -- but it certainly didn't make smoke billow from my mouth or inspire a frantic need for me to dump my drink over my head.
The verdict: unfounded hype of the worst kind. May chihuahua dogs with East L.A. accents chew the innards of the ad guys who sold us this bill of goods.
The nutritional damage? Not so bad, for a Fast Food Friday meal -- but also, you know, just one taco.
1 Volcano Taco
240 calories
150 calories from fat
17 grams of fat
5 grams of saturated fat
0 grams of trans fat
35 milligrams of cholesterol
490 milligrams sodium
14 gram of carbohydrates
3 grams of fiber
1 gram of sugar
8 grams of protein
In short: if you're in Greensboro and dig spice, you should head to an actual Mexican joint. Might I recommend El Mariachi on High Point Road? There's an actual Mariachi band on weekends.
Or the Minj Grille on South Elm. Their wing sauce makes the Volcano Taco seem like a sick joke.
Due to recent automated spamming attacks on our blogs, we are temporarily requiring commenters to authenticate themselves via TypeKey® before posting comments to any News & Record blog in order to prevent denials of service. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.