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Blimey!

How did I miss that Morrissey turned 50 years old last week?

From the Guardian piece on the former Smiths frontman and aging alternative icon's half-century of rock miserablism, this little tidbit on aging and death at one's elbow:

"I'm nearly 29," Morrissey said when his first solo album, Viva Hate, came out in 1988. "I'll be dead in a couple of years ... I have a dramatic, unswayable, unavoidable obsession with death. I can remember being obsessed with it from the age of eight or nine. I often wondered if it was quite a natural inbuilt emotion for people who are destined to ... take their own lives. I think if there was a magical, beautiful pill that one could take that would retire you from the world ... I would take it."

Luckily, he either missed the fact that a handful of any number of pills would have done the job or consciously decided he'd bulk up, grow older, buy some suits and continue rocking.

Damn good thing, too. His latest albums are his best in decades.

Here's an interesting BBC interview about his status as a British icon. Really annoying kid interviewing him, but fascinating none-the-less.

Stunning revelation: Morrissey's favorite Beatle is...Paul? Also, even though David Bowie's still alive and kicking Moz says of his heroes: "No one living..."

Ouch. Guess that's the downside of meeting your heroes...

If you've been watching the Colbert Report you know that comedian Stephen Colbert is headed...somewhere...in..the...middle east...at...some point...to entertain our troops there.

He's not allowed to say where or when, but he recently reported to Fort Jackson in his home state of South Carolina for a day of basic training to prepare for the trip.

Who needs that Steve Martin remake of Sgt. Bilko when you've got this happening in real life?

Two sad deaths this week - Tony Award winners Ron Silver and Natasha Richardson.

I loved Silver on The West Wing

Silver, who was 62, was buried Wednesday after a two year battle with esophageal cancer. Ed Rollins remembers him here.

Here's Richardson and husband Liam Neason talking about Eugene O'Neil.

She was just 45.

Best reason to watch Late Night with Jimmy Fallon so far?

The Roots.

The Village Voice has one-upped the viral audio clips of Barack Obama reading hilariously out-of-character phrases from his books.

Their entry: Bill O'Reilly reading passages from his creepy, hilariously bad thriller novel Those Who Trespass: A Novel of Television and Murder.

The Voice writes that the 1998 book is "about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims include a powerful 'bitch' named Hillary and a fat 'slob' named Martin Moore."

Some are shocked that O'Reilly -- a self-styled moral arbiter who has criticized the coarse language, sex and violence in movies, on television and in pop music -- produced a novel full of coarse language, sex, violence and sexual violence.

Those people have got to be kidding, right?

Anyway -- the audio clips are pretty priceless. They include (among many others) O'Reilly voicing a crack dealer who says to his underage girlfriends:

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"Off with those pants."

It has been said, and I have to agree, that it will probably be a matter of hours before we're seeing dance remixes of this stuff in the wild.

Best news item I read all weekend: Steve Martin is financing an off-campus production of one of his plays because some parents at the Oregon high school where it was being staged have thrown a nutty about its "adult content."

The play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, is about an imaginary meeting between Einstein and Picasso at a bar in Paris as both men are on the verge of great achievements in art and science.

Martin explained his reasoning in this letter to the La Grande observer.

Choice bits from the letter:

"I have heard that some in your community have characterized the play as “people drinking in bars, and treating women as sex objects.” With apologies to William Shakespeare, this is like calling Hamlet a play about a castle."

I predict that the experience will not be damaging, but meaningful.

Mr. Martin -- you have officially made up for those Pink Panther re-makes.

In celebration, I offer this banjo breakdown with the Muppets.

In case you missed it: Neil Gaiman (Sandman, American Gods) appeared on The Colbert Report last night to promote his new children's book, The Graveyard Book.

The book's out tomorrow, and I may now have to read it. You should too.

Excited to see this trailer for the Johnny Depp/Christian Bale flick Public Enemies.

Much less excited about G.I. Joe.

We've seen the Obama comic book.

The Obama action figure.

And now...the Obama sushi.

The Japanese chef who created this delicious-looking sushi tribute to our 44th president says he used small shrimp for the skin, black sesame for the hair and fish paste for the teeth.

What, no arugula?

(Via Cory at Boing Boing).

Don't forget: Fast Times at Ridgemont High will be playing on the big screen at the Carousel tonight at 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. as part of the Mix-Tape Film Series.

Phoebe Cates' topless scene is itself worth the price of admission -- especially because I believe tickets are still $3, popcorn $1.25 and beer's $1.

Or, alternately -- marvel at a time when Sean Penn's had the ability to be intentionally funny!

Check out the essay on the film that will be included in tonight's program here.

I've missed too many of these. May have to make it out tonight.

First, British actor Christian Bale (allegedly) punches his mum.

Now the Batman star is ranting at the crew and threatening people on the set of Terminator: Salvation.

The audio-tape of his rant is not work safe -- but it is worth listening to at home, if only for a laugh.

From the L.A. Times obit:

A religious woman in her later life, Page was mystified by her influence on modern popular culture. "I have no idea why I'm the only model who has had so much fame so long after quitting work," she said in an interview with The Times in 2006.

"I want to be remembered," she said, "as I was when I was young and in my golden times. . . . I want to be remembered as the woman who changed people's perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form."

Writer/director Michael Crichton, best known as the author of "Jurassic Park," has died of cancer at age 66.

Crichton wrote best-sellers that blended science, adventure and social commentary. Some of his best known novels became hit films, including "Jurassic Park," "Congo," "Rising Sun" and "Disclosure."

He was also the director of such movies as "The Great Train Robbery" and "Westworld" and the co-creator of the long-running hit TV drama "ER."

Everything about the man seemed to be outsized -- he stood 6'9'', was married 5 times, wrote his first best-seller ("The Andromeda Strain") while completing his studies at Harvard Medical School.

He was also a foe of the theory of global warming and a critic of the American media.

He was like a character from one of his own novels -- large, fascinating and somehow not quite believable.

Richard Dreyfuss, who plays Dick Cheney in Oliver Stone's "W." biopic, slammed the movie in an appearance on "The View."

He called it "6/8ths of a great film" and said he was disappointed Stone didn't come to some conclusion at the end -- a common criticism so far. He also compared working under Stone to working under Sean Hannity.

Which Stone's gotta love.

So it IS possible to be amused, to have your heart warmed and to throw up a little in your mouth all at once...

I know I've posted about the new "I'm a PC" ads from Microsoft before -- but now that I've seen this one with a solo Pharrell Williams I'm just...puzzled.

Nowhere in this ad does Pharrell or anyone else make any arguments for a PC being better than a Mac -- not for music, not for art, not for anything that Pharrell could actually speak to with authority and passion. He just talks about loving music and says that he uses a PC.

All right...and?

They've seen the actual "I'm a Mac/I'm a PC" ads, right? It's true that the Mac guy looks cooler...but he also makes an actual argument for what's so great about Macs in each commercial. This is what makes the commercials so great.

These things...they just makes me feel sorry for Microsoft. It's like they're the kid who never learned how to debate intelligently, who just starts rambling and screaming. "Am not! You are! Oh yeah? Well, hip musicians and music producers use me too, you know..."

Reader Brad K. sends an item about the AFP Photo service running a picture of Tina Fey as an actual picture of Sarah Palin.

Oops.

Yesterday, during a session with college journalists from around the state over at A&T, N&R editor John Robinson asked the students:

"How many of you heard Sarah Palin say that she could see Russia from her house?"

A number of hands were raised as the students laughed.

"And how many of you know that she didn't actually say that?" he then asked. "That it was Tina Fey playing her on SNL?"

Hands went down and there was some nervous chatter.

She is damned good...

Not sure how I missed this, but Bill Maher is calling for a movement to save Levi Johnston, the young man who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter and immediately became her "fiance."

Web site here.

A few musical questions this week:

- The AP reports that Bob Dylan's new bootleg series album, "Tell Tale Signs" will stream free on NPR's website for a week before its official release. Ain't Bobby so cool?

- Is there anything more anti-climatic than Clay Aiken coming out of the closet? Any fan who didn't realize he's gay either hasn't yet had the birds and bees talk or richly deserves to have her world shattered by this non-story.

- The Flaming Lips are finally releasing their weirdo outer-space/holiday movie Christmas on Mars. Follow the link for an exclusive trailer. It's getting a limited theatrical release -- closest theater to us is in Nashville -- and is coming to DVD Nov 11. How can you resist a film featuring modern psychedelic rock music in space AND Santa?

If you didn't catch David Letterman's McCain rant last night, check it out here.

Dave and McCain are old friends -- the candidate announced his presidential run on Dave's show. But McCain apparently said he had to skip Dave's show to go to Washington, then sat down with Katie Couric. That and McCain's announcing he would "suspend" his campaign was too much for Dave.

Seeing Burn After Reading last weekend got me thinking of my favorite Coen Brothers movies -- and why I've inexplicably been inserting an "h" into their name without realizing it.

Apparently I wasn't alone (at least in contemplating my favorites).

This list attempts to rank brothers' movies in terms of sheer greatness -- which means, of course, there will be many many disagreements.

I've gotta agree with putting The Ladykillers at the bottom, at least...

UPDATE: Slate also has an interesting piece on the politics of The Big Lebowski, which is celebrating its tenth birthday this year.

This weekend I saw the new Coen Brothers movie Burn After Reading -- the Coens' twisted version of a spy film.

The Coen brothers don't actually do spoofs - their films rarely directly reference or mock anything specific. But they do have a penchant for taking established film genres -- detective flicks, gangster pictures, caper movies, Capra-esque morality tales, romantic comedies -- and giving them their own bizarre twist.

In this sense, Burn After Reading is firmly in the tradition of The Big Lebowski (a bizarro Raymond Chandler-style detective movie) and Fargo (a murder mystery with the unlikeliest of heroes, villains and settings). Like those films Burn's plot is complicated, unlikely and whirls and circles itself like the hula-hoops in The Hudsucker Proxy. But it splits the difference between those films in terms of serious darkness.

What people will probably talk about most is Brad Pitt's performance as...well, a complete doofus. We've seen Pitt the romantic leading man, the dirtied-up terrifying villain (Kalifornia) and the spastic head case (12 Monkeys). But even in The Mexican I'm not sure we've ever seen him this broadly, proudly moronic.

But for my money some of the best scenes are the drier CIA-centric ones with John Malkovich as a disgraced, defeated analyst and JK Simmons (the dad in Juno, Garth Pancake from The Ladykillers) and David Rasche as his former bosses.

What did you guys think?

Gregory McDonald died.

I've only ever read his Fletch novels. But they - especially the first two - are some of the wittiest American detective fiction. I felt like the movies really didn't do them justice.

He was also a writer/editor at the Boston Globe for many years, which gave cynical reporter/accidental detective Fletch a great authenticity. You heard those conversations in newsrooms, you had those thoughts yourself while on a story.

Damn shame.

Have heard a few people express shock at this AP story about senior citizen and ex-pro wrestler Ric Flair being roughed up by his daughter's 22-year-old boyfriend.

But my thing is -- he may have been entertaining but did this guy ever really seem...tough?

Now this guy's daughter I'd avoid at all costs...

David Duchovony has apparently entered a clinic for sex addiction.

He's been married to Tea Leoni for a decade and has two children, so no F*%&s Mulder jokes or anything just...wow. That's sad.

The former X-Files star recently starred in the Showtime series Californication -- in which he played...well, a guy who stops enjoying all the sex he's having but can't stop himself.

(Video trailer not-entirely work safe)

Let's face it: some of these Comedy Central Roasts suck.

Anybody remember the one for Flavor Flav? Yeah, me either.

But the roast of Bob Saget this weekend was damned good.

And the surprise MVP? The 82-year-old Cloris Leachman.

Check out her extremely-not-safe-for-work bit:

Leachman was also a great sport while providing plenty of "she's so old" fodder for the other guest roasters...

Leachman is an Oscar winner and has won more Emmies than any other actor. And there's talk this roast could bring her another.

I say she's earned it.

Canadian prog rock legends Rush tried their hands at the video game "Rock Band" backstage at The Colbert Report this week.

Playing "Tom Sawyer," one of their own songs, the band washed out -- getting only 31%.

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Estelle Getty, the diminutive actress who spent 40 years struggling for success before landing a role of a lifetime in 1985 as the sarcastic octogenarian Sophia on TV's "The Golden Girls," has died. She was 84.

Full story here.

--

Christian Bale is breaking out the Bat Shark-Repellant, denying he assaulted his mom and sister over the weekend.

Neither mom nor sis are talking about why they had him arrested.

But you've gotta ask yourself: is "Did that guy punch his mom?" the kind of thing you can kill with a statement of denial?

If it's not true, but his mother and sister never come forward and say it's not true, how much does it damage his career?

Billy Bob Thornton was accused of beating his ex-wife (not Angelina), but you don't often see that brought up in interviews these days.

After a long weekend of wowing Bat-fans and breaking box office records, Dark Knight star Christian Bale reportedly got into a hotel brawl with...well, his mom.

On the Mel Gibson scale, how bad is this PR?

I can only reason that he was sitting around his hotel asking himself:

"What do I have to do to eclipse Heath Ledger's epic, scary-as-hell performance as the Joker? Oh, wait a tick...mum, come here love..."

On his Twitter feed famed comics writer Warren Ellis (who has written his share of Batman stories and long theorized Gotham city would be a nicer place if The Bat tore off peoples' nipples) lost no time in kicking Bale for...you know, kicking his mom.

UPDATE: Ledger has issued a statement denying he assaulted his mother or sister, both of whom apparently reported being assaulted. Contacted by the media, the sister says it's a "family matter." The mother is not commenting.

Bozo the Clown, dead at 83.

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Larry Harmon, who turned the character Bozo the Clown into a show business staple that delighted children for more than a half-century, died Thursday of congestive heart failure. He was 83.

UPDATE: Reader Dave R. sends the following note on Bozo's passing:

"Jessie [sic] Helms and Bozo the Clown die within days of each other? Is anyone else wondering why you never saw these two together?"

Might file that one under "too soon" -- but you be the judge.

Like a lot of guys my age, I'll always have a certain amount of affection for Hulk Hogan.

He was the live-action Superman of our childhood, a cartoon hero come to life, and even when we realized he was in reality a juiced-up "sports entertainer," even when we outgrew professional wrestling...we were still Hulkamaniacs at heart.

When Hulk stopped wrestling and took up reality TV on Hogan Knows Best, I watched even though I usually hate celeb-reality shows. As with Gene Simmons' show, there was something great about watching one of my childhood heroes navigating family life and just trying to get along in his retirement. If it sometimes seemed over-the-top and staged it just brought back memories of his pro-wrestling glory -- with less overt homo-eroticism.

And so it pains me to see the Hulkster falling on hard times -- troublemaking son crashing cars and permanently injuring people, wife leaving him and running around with a teenage boy toy.

N&R Interactive's Louis Bekoe points me to this item on a bar in Florida (near Linda Hogan's home) that has taken Hulk's side in this little marital spat of his.

You almost feel sorry for her -- until you hear the kid's been riding Hulk's motorcycle as well as his wife.

That's seriously off sides...

According to the Hollywood Reporter:

NBC’s re-broadcast of the 1975 "Saturday Night Live" series premiere hosted by the late George Carlin delivered the show’s highest out-of-season rating in three years.

Compared to the same night last year, "SNL" was up 29% in the metered markets.

---

Carlin's hosting of the first SNL was, believe it or not, controversial at the time. The network wanted him to wear a suit. He wanted to wear a t-shirt and jeans. They compromised - he wore a suit with a t-shirt, which at the time was a big deal.

Here's his opening monologue from that night.

Here's the famous "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" bit that got Carlin arrested a few years earlier and wound up in front of the Supreme Court.

Here's his mug shot from the arrest. He looks like a guy satisfied to be going to jail for the right reasons.

This picture of Matt Damon from the set of his next film is birthing a lot of bad jokes online this week -- I'm Stuffing Matt Damon, The Bourne Obesity, The Talented Mr. Rumpley.

But I love pictures like this. Because looking like a fierce, ripped killing machine is Damon's job when he's filming movies like the Bourne trilogy. But it's good for people to see that his default mode is normal, human body. Whether he's doing it for a part of just letting himself go a little because he hasn't had a cheeseburger in three years, it's good for people to see superhero actors and actresses without makeup, hairy, flabby -- in a word, human.

In a recent interview with The Times of London, Jason Bateman confirms we'll see an Arrested Development movie in 2009.

Nice.

Michael Cera and Bateman (both of whom were in Juno) rocketed to film success after the show was canceled -- which Bateman attributes to the show missing with America at large but being beloved of people in L.A.

"..and those are the ones who hire us," Bateman says.

Rolling Stone has posted George Carlin's first interview with the mag, from 1972.

Wouldn't it be great if they put him on the cover? Talk about a counter-culture hero - an influence on stand up comedy and comedy writing for two generations. I think he earned it.

Johnny Depp apparently gave the fedora he wore in his upcoming gangster flick Public Enemies to a 12-year-old boy who admired it on location.

Now that the film has wrapped, Depp sent the kid the hat in a package with some other cool movie stuff from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Like we need another reason to love Johnny Depp...

Hear it here.

I'm going to miss that guy.

The trailer for Gonzo, the new Hunter Thompson documentary out next month, is up now.

It's narrated by Johnny Depp and looks as though it has a deep bench of political figures (Jimmy Carter, Pat Buchanan, George McGovern), celebrities and writers (Tom Wolfe, Jann Wenner, Tim Crouse).

Some great historical footage I'd never seen, too. Looks good.

Artist on Artist: John Cusack and Diablo Cody

...to learn that Scarlett Johansson is engaged to Ryan Reynolds.

Yes, Van Wilder.

Alanis Morissette's ex.

Cheer up. You didn't have a shot anyway.

I can't sleep and I'm up writing with the TV on in the background.

Madonna's video for "Open Your Heart" just came on VH1 Classic.

And it made me think:

1) Madonna was better before she thought she was "important."

2) Music videos were better when they thought they were.

The Kids in the Hall are doing a 30-city, two-month tour (don't call it a comeback - they've been here for years, rockin their peers and puttin' suckas in fear).

The Onion's A.V. Club has an interview with them.

They're apparently looking to do a new show and movie. To which I will immediately become addicted.

Let me start by saying this: I'm an unapologetic Rolling Stones fan.

Yes, I know: they are elderly, rich and I was in elementary school when they put out their last really solid album.

I don't care.

The fact that they didn't break up at the height of their fame and only one of them managed to die does not make them any less a great rock and roll band -- they simply didn't cease production in the period when they were most creative and vital. I was in college before I began to really appreciate their back catalog, and on the strength of that I think they should be allowed to tour until they actually fall apart in front of us if they like.

With that said, you can see why I'd be excited to see Shine a Light, a Stones performance film directed by Martin Scorsese (who on top of being an Oscar winning director of terrific dramas is also no slouch in the rock doc department, having helped edit Woodstock, directed The Last Waltz and No Direction Home).

One of my favorite directors putting together a concert film of one of my favorite bands? Yes, please.

Unfortunately...it was not all it was cracked up to be.

In a rare show of mercy (for both its stars and the audience), CBS has pulled the plug on the new reality TV show Secret Talents of the Stars after just one episode.

The show featured George Takei (Sulu from the original Star Trek) singing country music and country star Clint Black trying stand-up comedy.

I almost want to mail them some cold, hard cash for stopping this before Danny Bonaduce got to show us his secret talent.

To reward myself for having survived moving last weekend (and this week, and the unpacking that continues), this is what I'm going to be seeing this weekend:

Good stuff with Mick, Keith, Jack White and Martin Scorsese in the latest Rolling Stone.

I am disappointed to hear, however, that they wanted to get a PG-13 rating for this and so cut the use of the F-word down to two instances. Not just by playing songs that don't require it or watching their mouths but by actually taking it out of songs -- most egregiously in "Some Girls."

I can't really follow the logic -- does anyone think kids too young to get into an R movie are going to be trying to get into this without their parents anyway? The idea that Scorsese (for whom the F-word seems to have been artistically essential to this point) and the Stones (for whom the F-word is, in many ways, part of a way of life) could make a PG-13 movie leaves me scratching my head.

Now this is one strange story:

"This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates -- Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain."

It was a story some time ago that Obama and George W. Bush are 10th cousins. But the researchers have also found that Obama is distantly related to Harry S. Truman, James Madison, Dick Cheney, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson and General Robert E. Lee.

Clinton has a few notable distant relatives herself -- many of them French Canadians. But Jack Kerouac is canceled out by Camilla Parker-Bowles. A connection to Alanis Morissette is less impressive when we learn she's also related to Celine Dion. A connection to Madonna is, at this point in our cultural history, sort of neutral.

The Queen of Soul turns 66 today...

...and Sir Elton Hercules John turns 61.

When punk came to California, photographer Jenny Lens was ready for it -- and she caught all of its luminaries, losers and laugh-riots when punk exploded there in the late 70s.

Rolling Stone has a great preview of her first book, Punk Pioneers: When Punk Was Fun, which is out next month. Some of my favorite shots:

Debbie Harry of Blondie at the Whisky in LA, 1977.

Rick Nielson of Cheap Trick mugs for the camera while bassist Tom Petersson smooches a young (and adorable) Joan Jett backstage in Santa Monica in 1977.

Lorna Doom of The Germs at a photo shoot in 1977.

Joey Ramone wants the airwaves (and the robots) in Little Tokyo in 1977.

Chris Evans, the guy who played The Human Torch in the two god-awful Fantastic Four movies, is telling MTV news that he doesn't think there will be another -- and that he's ready to be done with it.

I think we're all ready to be done with it.

I love The Fantastic Four. And I think they could, as Spider-Man proved in the first and second films, translate to the screen in a way that would thrill both adults and children. A solid concept always can. But they've screwed the pooch twice on this one and if there are going to be any others they need to do what Batman (and now The Hulk) are doing and just pull a full on reboot, as though the first two never happened.

Which is essentially what Evans is saying when he admits to MTV that, "I think that if [FF2] does okay and people respond with the appreciation of a more serious tone, hopefully [with] the third one we can inch closer to a legitimate cast and a legitimate film."

Saying that your first two movies failed to have a legitimate cast that made up a legitimate film does sound like straight shooting -- and has Clooney proved with his Batman film, sometimes you just have to admit something sucked to get past it and do better work. But it also sounds like a guy who knows this train ain't going back there.

File under "Revivals...sorta"...

- Queen is releasing their first album of new material in more than a decade -- and this time they're doing it with ex-Bad Company frontman Paul Rodgers, with whom they've been touring with a sort of "Tribute to Freddie Mercury" show.

Hardcore Mercury fans are losing their minds and saying they shouldn't call this new iteration of the band Queen. Which you had to sort of see coming. Their last album, 1995's Made in Heaven, was made with leftover Mercury vocals.

- Variety reports that director Sam Raimi (Spider-Man, A Simple Plan) is looking to revive Tom Clancy's superspy Jack Ryan, who has been played on screen by Alec Baldwin (The Hunt for Red October), Harrison Ford (Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger) and Ben Affleck (Sum of All Fears).

Jack Ryan movies have, to date, raked in nearly $800 million at the box office -- so I guess you can see why they'd want to bring him back yet again. My dad's a Tom Clancy fan and these guys (and they're almost all guys) are rabid. Freddie Mercury fans may scream and cry if Queen replaces him with someone they don't like -- but Tom Clancy fans might shoot the poor guy who becomes the next Jack Ryan if he lets them down. I nominate Vin Diesel for this very reason.

- Yes (the band) are hitting the road for a 40th anniversary tour.

No, no you're right -- they did just do a 35th anniversary tour. Think that's a little too much Yes? Keyboardist Rick Wakeman agrees with you -- so he's sitting this one out. This is the fourth time he's quit the band. His son Oliver's going to be handling his duties while dad takes a principled stand over giving Yes fans more of what they inexplicably continue to want.

- It looks like Bob Odinkirk and David Cross of the late, brilliant Mr. Show are coming back to HBO for a new series. It won't be a Mr. Show revival, but I'm still looking forward to it.

- And last but by no means least, Elvis Costello is releasing his new album, Momofuku in only two formats -- digital and vinyl.

If you buy the vinyl album (which I will) you get a voucher for a digital download. Hardcore audiophiles continue to (probably rightly) extoll the virtues of vinyl and (certainly rightly) condemn the comparatively terrible sound of the MP3 format. Like Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails, Costello has built an audience that's loyal enough to roll with him and remain curious as he experiments with how to continue to deliver music to us in the way he likes.

Arthur C. Clarke, author of 100 books including the novel 2001: A Space Odyssey, died in Sri Lanka yesterday at age 90.

Some good obits out there -- though the NYT headline looks as though it was written by Yoda.

This one highlights Clarke's qualified skepticism and deeply held atheism. From the piece:

Clarke certainly believed in extraterrestrial, intelligent life. "They might land tomorrow on the White House lawn," he told McAleer. But he did not believe in UFOs, which he said could be reasonably explained.

Nor did he believe in God. He was an unapologetic atheist with no patience for organized religion, which he blamed for many of society's ills. "The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion," he wrote in a 1999 essay.

Wired magazine writes that Clarke told them what he wanted as his epitaph in a 1993 interview:

"I've often quoted it," he said."'He never grew up; but he never stopped growing.'"

ABBA drummer Ola Brunkert was found dead in his home at Spain after an apparent accident with a glass partition.

According to ABBA's website: "Together with bass player Rutger Gunnarsson, Ola is probably the only musician to appear on all ABBA albums -- he was one of the most frequently used Swedish session musicians during the 1970s."

I previously posted about Sarah Silverman's hilarious (but probably not worksafe) declaration of lust for Matt Damon.

Now Jimmy Kimmel has fired back, producing a video with, among others, Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Robin Williams, Joan Jett and Josh Groban.

Kimmel doesn't play around.

8: 22 p.m.
We're coming right up on the telecast now - I'm tired and achy from the flu, speedy and loopy from the Sudafed and a little annoyed by the Red Carpet coverage.

I mean - I'm usually pretty disinterested in "So, who are you wearing?" over and over again -- but this year, it seems like it's particularly bad.

I'll be live blogging the Oscars tonight on Culture Shock. From a flu-medicine stupor. Should be entertaining.

Predictions now?

What could possibly go wrong?

Not content with being mocked for her acting in just about everything but Dick Tracy and Who's That Girl, Madonna is apparently directing now.

Here's a (not work safe) teaser clip of her upcoming film, Filth and Wisdom.

It appears to be about...British strippers? Makes a strange sort of sense, actually.

John Mellencamp was not, as they say, "down" with presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain using his songs "Our Country" and "Pink Houses" on the campaign trail as he tries to sell his party on his conservative credentials.

Mellencamp is a dyed-in-the-wool leftie who was pulling for John Edwards. His publicist asked of the McCain camp:

“If you’re such a true conservative, why are you playing songs that have a very populist pro-labor message written by a guy who would find no argument if you characterized him as left of center?”

Like Ronald Reagan before him, McCain seems to have wanted to co-opt the music (or its spirit) without actually listening to it. But he's done the gentlemanly thing and stopped using the songs.

Indiana Jones (and that kid from the Transformers movie) are on the cover of Vanity Fair this month.

A good story -- and some great photos by Annie Leibovitz. Some video from the shoot here too.

My favorite may be of Cate Blanchett as an evil, sexy Russian agent (the action has moved to the 1950s in this flick -- when the Ruskies were sinister and hot).

How did I not know that Nancy Cartwright, who does the voice of Bart on The Simpsons, is a Scientologist?

Holy Xenu! Is there anybody the Scientologists can't get their hands on?

And does this explain The Simpsons having more or less stayed clear of Scientology while skewering many other sacred cows?

South Park lost Scientologist Isaac Hayes as the voice of Chef when they did their now infamous Scientology episode.

Oh, man.

It seems Miley Cyrus (AKA Hannah Montana) has taken some pictures of herself posing in her underwear and a bikini. And it seems they've leaked onto the Internet. (Link is worksafe. But barely.)

The pictures are certainly milder than those of High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens, but still a bit creepy for a 15-year-old children's television star.

I've been meaning to get hold of Steve Martin's memoir Born Standing Up for a few weeks now.

A recent excerpt in Smithsonian magazine has made me resolve to go get it this weekend. From the excerpt, in which Martin begins to craft his own style of comedy by abandoning convention:

"What if there were no punch lines? What if there were no indicators? What if I created tension and never released it? What if I headed for a climax, but all I delivered was an anticlimax? What would the audience do with all that tension? Theoretically, it would have to come out sometime. But if I kept denying them the formality of a punch line, the audience would eventually pick their own place to laugh, essentially out of desperation. This type of laugh seemed stronger to me, as they would be laughing at something they chose, rather than being told exactly when to laugh.

Now that I had assigned myself to an act without jokes, I gave myself a rule. Never let them know I was bombing: this is funny, you just haven't gotten it yet. If I wasn't offering punch lines, I'd never be standing there with egg on my face. It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing. I would move through my act without pausing for the laugh, as though everything were an aside. Eventually, I thought, the laughs would be playing catch-up to what I was doing. Everything would be either delivered in passing, or the opposite, an elaborate presentation that climaxed in pointlessness. Another rule was to make the audience believe that I thought I was fantastic, that my confidence could not be shattered. They had to believe that I didn't care if they laughed at all and that this act was going on with or without them."

Mark Frauenfelder of BoingBoing points out that one of the songs Hillary Clinton is using on the campaign trail is "When the Lady Smiles" by Dutch rock group Golden Earring.

In the video clip for the song (which, incidentally, has not aged well -- I can't imagine how they choose these songs. Ronald Reagan famously wanted to use "Born in the U.S.A." -- an anthem about how screwed up the country was -- because he thought it sounded patriotic) a nun is raped and a dog eats the attacker's brain. The video was banned from MTV in 1984.

The chances that Clinton knows this -- or is paying much attention at all to what's being played at her rallies and why -- are pretty slim. But it is none-the-less hilarious that Clinton, proud mommy of legislation such as the Family Entertainment Protection Act and constant cultural hall monitor of the "for our children" crusade, is blaring a song by a band whose video MTV thought was too much. In 1984. The same year they broadcast Madonna writhing on the floor in a wedding dress, moaning "Like A Virgin."

So sad. Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment today, and PerezHilton is already calling it an overdose. Such a brilliant actor, even sadder when you think that he has a young kid. Wonder how they'll market Batman now?

Also, does this put a young celebrity OD trifecta in play, in the wake of Brad Renfro's death? AP already has an obit ready for Britney ...

ETA: I see Joe beat me to the punch ...

ETA2: The story is getting more interesting. From AFP:

"According to the newspaper, the apartment was inhabited by actor Mary-Kate Olsen."

NYT is backing off that, apparently:

ETA3: NYT just backed off that:

Paul J. Browne, the Police Department’s deputy commissioner for public information, initially said that the apartment was owned by the actress Mary-Kate Olsen, but later reversed himself and said that was not the case.

From the New York Times story:

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead this afternoon in an apartment building at 421 Broome Street in SoHo, according to the New York City police. Mr. Ledger was 28.

At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. The police said they did not suspect foul play and said they found pills near body.

---

Incredibly, horribly sad.

A very gifted young actor -- on the rise after a star making turn in Brokeback Mountain and having just portrayed The Joker in The Dark Knight. He's also the child of a lovely two year old daughter.

Local son Chris Daughtry is taking a swipe at the show that made him famous.

About 'American Idol,' from Rolling Stone:

"I feel like it's definitely lacking some credibility at this point," says Daughtry, who came in fourth place on the 2006 season but went on to sell 3.6 million copies of his debut record and be named one of Nielsen's top ten selling artists of 2007. "It's in a state of decline and if they don't do something about it, it's probably not gonna last too much longer. I'm sure that'll be used against me, but that's the truth, you know?"

He's right, though. Last season pretty much sucked, if you want my honest opinion. I didn't care who won, and I'm having a hard time even remembering many of the contestants. I watched the first episode or two of the season, but then I tuned out until they whittled it down to the top 24 or so -- there's only so many times you can watch someone screech Celine or Whitney, know what I mean? The occasional awful person is fine, but they just went overboard with the people who were clueless at auditions and the ones who were clearly there just to get on TV. Guess what, auditioners? It's no longer edgy to flip off the camera when you get the boot -- everyone does it.

I watched last night's 'Idol' this afternoon. (I never watch them live -- I have to be able to fast-forward through the recrap and pointless pauses for effect.) Maybe it's just me, but it was perceptibly better -- there were still some attention whores, but the guy who sang "No Sex Allowed" made up for that. As did the blond horse trainer at the end (I can't recall her name) who had a great voice.

But I agree with Daughtry -- I think it's on the way out. As soon as it veers back to people in Big Bird costumes and mocking people who are clearly handicapped (despite the pleas that they've changed), I'll tune out until the finals.

In this video, apparently a few years old, Tom Cruise talks about Scientology:

(The longer, uncut video has been removed from YouTube and various other sites due to nastygrams from the Church of Scientology.)

Among the gems:

"We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions... we can rehabilitate criminals... we can bring peace and unite communities."

"Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help."

The craziest thing about these statements is that I think many mainstream Christians would make them about their church -- and some sects of Islam and Judaism, for that matter.

The most interesting thing about Scientology to me -- beyond the secrecy and how many celebrities they seem to have recruited -- is the way it seems to hold up a dark mirror to all other religions.

Guys who are half man/half god and rise from the dead after three days, wine that turns to blood, the Rapture and Judgement Day -- that's just, you know, religion. We have to respect that.

But space aliens and body thetans? That's CRAZY...

TMZ scooped everyone, as they seem to be doing a lot more lately in entertainment, with the news that Brad Renfro has died at 25.

From TMZ:

"The 25-year-old actor was found dead at his Los Angeles home this morning. The cause of death has not been determined, however, Renfro had a history of drug abuse."

I'm willing to go out on a limb here and agree with what TMZ is implying -- I'm betting we find out he overdosed on something. Which is a shame because Renfro was a pretty decent actor. I've followed him ever since I saw him in "The Client." Since then, he's turned out some good performances in movies such as "Sleepers," "Apt Pupil," "Bully" and "Ghost World."

North Carolina's own Clay Aiken, who has somehow turned being runner-up on American Idol into a career selling Christmas albums to your lonely aunt with all the cats, is set to take one of the lead roles in the Tony Award winning Broadway show "Monty Python's Spamalot."

The show is based on "Monty Python and The Holy Grail," which Aiken said he thought was "the stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life," upon first viewing.

Which was apparently a recent thing.

In an AP story Aiken says, "I thought Monty Python was a person until three months ago."

Clay Aiken's only a few years older than me -- and I thought my generation was issued a copy of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in high school, as a required thing. When I made it to my sophomore year of high school without seeing any Monty Python all my arty, band-geek friends (of whom Aiken had to have had plenty) nearly called an ambulance to rush me to the nearest VCR.

Comedian Zach Galifianakis (The Comedians of Comedy) interviews Michael Cera (Arrested Development, Juno) in this clip from Cinematical.

Wizard!

Our new intern in the office today suggested there was "not enough Michael Cera" in Juno.

I agreed that he didn't get enough screen time, but given the size of those shorts, I think it's impossible to say there wasn't enough of him.

I saw this anti-drug commercial starring Clint Eastwood (in character as Dirty Harry?) for the first time in a TV documentary tonight.

Comedian David Cross (Arrested Development, Mr. Show) has been taking some flak for his appearance in the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

So, he decided to answer the "Why? God, Why?" question via this funny and brutally honest blog post.

Short answer: It's an effing kids movie, you're taking it too seriously and of course he did it for the money.

Next.

Britney Spears' sister Jamie-Lynn, the 16-year-old star of a popular Nickelodeon TV show, is pregnant.

More proof that the universe is a strange place. When I was in high school almost everyone I knew was having sex -- but I didn't know anyone who got pregnant. Because between condoms and birth control pills, they cannily avoided it. And they were none of them millionaires.

This could be the beginnings of a good argument that money does actually make you stupid. When you have as much money as Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan but you drive drunk rather than have a driver take you around town in one of any number of luxury cars or limousines at your disposal, when you're crafty enough to be an essential cog in an adolescent television and marketing juggernaut but can't summon the sexual intelligence of the average small town teen who says to her doctor: "Is procreation right for me...?" --- then I think there are serious cash/IQ questions to be asked.

Kicker: Jamie and her babydaddy met...wait for it...at church.

Call everybody in the non-abstinence-only sex ed class I had godless heathens, but we all learned how to use a condom.

UPDATE:
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," Jamie Lynn told OK!, according to the Associated Press. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

Somebody sit these kids down for a birds and bees talk...

From Reason.tv:

In his latest video for Reason.tv, Drew Carey goes all in to report how Dallas cops carried out a paramilitary-style raid on a poker game at the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 1837, which has now been forced to close its doors.

Slight spoilers if you know absolutely nothing about Sweeney Todd. I don't think there's anything here that isn't in the trailer.

Quick note: For those who don't know, Sweeney Todd, coming to theatres Dec. 21, is a movie version of Stephen Sondheim's award-winning Broadway musical. Sweeney is the Demon Barber of Fleet Street -- a man wronged who wants revenge on those who wronged him.

So I was playing around on the Sweeney Todd Web site. I've been waiting for the movie for a long time now, really looking forward to it. But it's also been tinged with nervous anticipation -- will they be able to pull it off? I love Johnny Depp, and I didn't want him to screw this up.

Well, thank goodness, he hasn't. At least not from what I've heard. If you go to this link and click "Enter site", another window will open. In the top right corner is something called Audio -- click on it, and you can listen to parts of some of the different songs. I'm pleasantly surprised with Depp -- he's not bad. It's a hard role to sing, and what little I've heard impresses me.

However. Helena Bonham-Carter.

It's unfortunate that her and Burton are a thing because she's going to be hearing a lot of director's couch comments. She's awful -- she can't sing -- it's more of a fast talking, and there's no power at all behind it. Not to mention she sounds like she is trying to hurry through the lyrics as fast as she can so she can stop singing -- she doesn't seem to believe she should be singing, either.

She just annoyed me in "Bit of Priest" and "Worst Pies in London". And I'm even trying to cut her a break -- Angela Lansbury defined that role, and she's who I hear in my head when I listen, but I was willing to give someone else a chance. When I first heard Carter's name, I thought it could be a bit of inspired casting -- provided she could sing. Yeah, well, I will now be going to the movie dreading her moments.

All I can hope is that she can bring something to the role besides her singing. Except that I really feel like Mrs. Lovett is almost a sweet woman who's a bit demented -- she clearly loves the boy and has a thing for Sweeney, and thinks they can all be a happy family of sorts, with a few murders thrown in here and there -- not a demented woman who's scary, which is how I think Carter will play it -- Bellatrix does Mrs. Lovett.

On the other hand, listening to Alan Rickman in "Pretty Woman" didn't upset me. Does he sound like an actor singing? Yes. But it doesn't annoy me. He sounds like Snape singing, which turns me into a giddy fan girl inside.

Of course, you can listen to "Green Finch" if you wish to torture yourself. I hated it in the production I saw, and I hate it here, too. And I have no idea who the girl is who sings it, only that she is slightly better than the soprano who sang it on my soundtrack.

So now I'll still see it opening weekend, but some of the air has been let out of the balloon for me. What do you guys think? Am I being too hard on her? Anyone agree with me?

Empire Magazine has an exclusive interview with Heath Ledger about playing The Joker.

According to the magazine the role involved Ledger "marinading himself in nothing but Joker before shooting."

Ewww...

Bruce may be down one keyboardist for now, but he's on the cover of the current issue of Spin with Win Butler, lead singer of Arcade Fire.

Here's some YouTube footage of The Boss doing Arcade Fire's "Keep The Car Running" with Win and his wife, Regine, and a duet on his own "State Trooper" as well.

Confession: I was a pretty big Morrissey fan in high school. Not nearly as big as my friend Brian LaRue, who introduced me to Moz. But pretty big. Still, I never saw this video for "November Spawned a Monster" -- in which Morrissey, decked out in a mesh shirt and dancing like a gay club kid who's had maybe one more interpretive dance class than he has cosmos, rolls around and gyrates and generally looks sad out in the middle of a desert. As we're coming into November's homestretch, I thought I might present this to you guys before taking a few days off:

Man, that's monstrously strange.

But I do still love the line: "Jesus made me/so Jesus save me/from pity, sympathy/and people discussing me.'

Truth be told I still love most of Moz's Smiths and solo stuff in a completely unironic way -- even the bits I know are ridiculous. But his videos have always been pretty awful. Check out this one for the terrific "Last of the Famous International Playboys":

His new stuff's pretty great -- I somehow feel he's grown into himself and makes a great cranky old guy. He's gotten rid of the mesh shirts and bought some great suits, for one thing. He's still not making great videos, though. Check out this pretty average clip for the pretty great song "Irish Blood/English Heart":

Still terrific live, though. Check out this concert montage built around one of my favorites,"There Is a Light That Never Goes Out":

Well, new Bond Daniel Craig has signed on for four more Bond movies. That would make him Bond for one more movie than his predecessor, Pierce Brosnan (who made four Bond flicks) but wouldn't equal Sean Connery (six) or Roger Moore (seven).

I'm a die-hard Bond fan, love the books and the movies. I was very skeptical about Craig -- but he won me over with the excellent Casino Royale.

If I'm forced to choose I have to go with Connery as the best Bond -- but because the first Brosnan was the first Bond I ever saw on the big screen I feel like he'll always be my generation's Bond. Timothy Dalton was the first Bond I ever saw (on video, in License to Kill) -- and I thought he was good, but he didn't have the scripts and his second (and last) Bond movie was no good.

Roger Moore -- I really consider his entire tenure a sort of embarrassment and find it hard to believe that anyone was ever coked up enough to buy him as Bond.

The Smoking Gun is reporting that Transformers (and upcoming Indiana Jones movie) star Shai LeBeouf was arrested in Chicago after drunkenly refusing to leave a Walgreens pharmacy at 2:30 a.m.

As mug shots go, his is not a bad one:

You've got to worry about this kid, though. Directors like Stephen Spielberg think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and he's still acting like an idiot. I was sort of annoyed when he leaked the name of the new Indiana Jones flick at the MTV awards, saying he did it because: "I'm 21 and we're in Vegas, baby!"

Not as annoyed as Spielberg was, but annoyed.

Now he's getting busted for being drunk in a pharmacy? Talk about amateur -- at least be found drunk in your neighbor's bed, wander into an airport completely naked, something good.

Well, the Hollywood writer's strike is in full effect.

Sure, Jay and Dave's late night shows are now in reruns -- but I didn't watch them anyway, and this is all fascinating to me. I'm very interested to see how everyone's reacting to it.

According to the AP Jay Leno rode up to a line of writers picketing outside NBC to deliver them donuts and show his support.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus and the cast of her show, The New Adventures of Old Christine, were picketing alongside striking writers outside Warner Bros. on Monday. Dreyfus is married to a writer.

30 Rock's Tina Fey has been picketing in New York in November -- the L.A. Times caught up with her on the line.

Brian K. Vaughan, one of my favorite comics writers and now a writer and producer on Lost, talks about the strike on his MySpace blog, saying:

A few months ago, I was thrilled to start my second season as a writer and now a co-producer over at LOST, and have been unbelievably fortunate enough to help write a few scripts for what I think could end up being the show's best season.

And much as it breaks my heart for my colleagues and I to have to walk away from a job we love, we all think it's vitally important to the future of our industry.

Judd Apatow, director of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up, agrees, explaining the grievance over writers not being paid for residuals aired in new media formats:

"Here's how I would explain it: If you're a teamster, you get paid to drive a truck. But if someone invents a new kind of truck, and you're still driving it, you should still get paid."

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, which hit my mailbox this weekend:

- Great interview with Bruce Springsteen, who's on the cover, but no big surprise there. I think it would take some real skill to write a bad Bruce interview. Some great early pictures of Bruce with the story, including one of him rail thin and shaggy in a pair of jeans, size-small tank top and beat-up black Chuck Taylor All-Stars. He looks like every pseudo-hippie kid I went to high school with.

- More of their kind of crap election coverage by Matt Taibbi, whose continuing assignment to write nasty, sort of obvious things about all of the Republican presidential hopefuls brings him to Mitt Romney this issue. Taibbi shocks and appalls us by revealing that Romney is...a politician! He says things people want to hear (No!)! He uses (gasp!) stock public speaking techniques. He speaks in (for shame!) glittering generalities! Somebody stick a wooden stake in this guy's heart, quick!

- A pretty good piece on Internet gossip-monger Perez Hilton (AKA Mario Lavendeira), who makes his living by posting other peoples' celebrity photography for free and making catty comments about its subjects (as I'll do now, following his shining example).

His ability to post other peoples' work and be snarky about the rich and famous is apparently making him $250,000 a year and he's just landed a television show.

This piece would make me hate this guy even more than I already do...but somehow I can't bring myself to bother. What I do like: the piece reveals Hilton's Bond-villainesque origin as a cranky, chubby, misanthropic little kid whose parents let him lay in bed watching TV 12 hours a day and would bring him meals on trays so he didn't have to get up and go to the kitchen. People were mean to him in high school, so his being mean to famous people who commit the mortal sin of occasionally going outside without makeup really makes perfect sense.

"I think what I do is noble," Hilton says.

Get this guy a Pulitzer! And a swift kick in the nobility!

- A weird "Wheels 07" feature wherein musicians pose with cars, test drive them and offer their opinions. This makes me love The Dropkick Murphys more than I already do, as they test drive an Infiniti G37S. The Boston punks break all sorts of traffic laws in it, squeal into a Dunkin Donuts parking lot excitedly screaming "Dunkies!" and ultimately break the windshield while posing with the car with "props" like a sledgehammer and chainsaw.

"This is the car of a Yankee fan!" bassist/songwriter Ken Casey says after the "accident."

The writer theorizes that he should never have told them the car was fully insured.

Last week J.K. Rowling outed top wizard Albus Dumbledore (of Harry Potter fame) as gay -- well after the last book of the series had gone to press.

There are some who are claiming they knew all along, or at least that the signs were there for those who were looking. Ed Cone pointed to a Metafilter comment thread in which someone said:

"He was a stylish 150-year-old-ish bachelor. You do the math."

If we're going to accept that a character's creator can out a character after all of the canonical work dealing with that character has been produced then I think there are some characters out there who are at least as likely as Dumbledore for a little homosexual retroactive continuity...

(WARNING: Comedic homosexual stereotypes ahead. Satirical. Not to be confused with actual homophobia.)

And you thought right wing Christian groups hated Harry Potter because of the evil, ungodly magic.

Foolish muggles.

According to Reuters:

"Speaking at Carnegie Hall on Friday night in her first U.S. tour in seven years, Rowling confirmed what some fans had always suspected -- that she "always thought Dumbledore was gay," reported entertainment Web site E! Online."

Further, she said Dumbledore had once been in love with the evil wizard Grindlevald.

How are Potter fans reacting? Well...

"The audience reportedly fell silent after the admission -- then erupted into applause.

"This is even more awesome because it adds another layer to Dumbledore's character, which is already so rich and complicated. I hope he got over Grindlevald (sic) and fell in love again," wrote Amanda."

As a writer, I love this part:

"Rowling said she had read through a script for the movie adaptation of the sixth book in the series, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" and corrected a passage in which Dumbledore was reminiscing about past loves by crossing it out and scrawling "Dumbledore is gay" over it."

The universe has apparently decided to answer the question of whether I could possibly love Target any more by having the store offer a line of David Bowie inspired clothing.

My first thought was, of course, that trying to sell some of David Bowie's looks could be difficult...

But the stuff they've gone with is largely from his Berlin period, "The Man Who Fell to Earth" and his later period, "I dress this way because I'm married to an International Supermodel" look.

Pitchfork media jokes that this is "a far better idea than a Low/Heroes/Lodger inspired line of coke-straws."

On the whole, the clothes really look good. This trench coat may have to come home with me...

Bowie won't be the first artist of his generation to sell clothes at a department store -- some years ago Brian Ferry of Roxy Music was the spokesperson for Marks & Spencer's "Autograph" line of clothing (a job that seems to have been disappointingly taken up by Take That). But he was savvy enough to get his music marketed alongside the clothes in Target stores.

You freaky old bastard, you...

Here's what I mean about Britney Spears, whose disgraceful VMA performance this year has been the subject of much discussion since she sleep-walked her way through it on Sunday:

This clip, from her infamous VMA performance (and kiss) with Madonna and Christina Aguilera, demonstrates that she can perform without lip-synching:

(Dig how excited the guys from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" are -- it's like their heads are about to explode. I'm telling you -- Germans love David Hasselhoff and gay dudes love Madonna.)

Come to that, this performance of "Satisfaction/Oops, I Did It Again" from 2000 demonstrates that -- at least for the first bit.

And this clip, the much talked about VMA performance with the snake, shows that even when she feels she has to lip sync (and it seems clear she's doing it here) she can do it better than she did it this time.

All three clips show that she can (or could -- I suppose it's been a while) dance better than she did this time around.

You don't have to enjoy this type of music to understand from these clips that she was once a commanding, dynamic performer who help audiences in the palm of her hand.

"Was" being the operative word, I suppose.

I don't know why -- but this makes me sad.

Sort of like watching an old Michael Jackson performance and then seeing what's become of him.

Just seems a waste.

In this week's posts you can:

* Read my musings on Britney Spears looking like a drag queen (and the possibility that she'll spend the rest of her life performing for them).

* Find out whether Disney Channel's High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens (and new star of inadvertent teen amateur Internet pornography) is into the Brazilian wax!

* Check out pictures of Maggie Gyllenhaal in the new Agent Provocateur lingerie ad campaign!

* Consider "The N Word" with comedians Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle -- all of whom used it to greater effect than Eddie Griffin, who was bounced from a Black Enterprise event for dropping it this weekend.

* Tell me whether you got screwed when Apple dropped the price of the iPhone just two months after its release (and whether the $100 store credit they're giving customers makes up for it).

* Check out clips from shows coming out on DVD -- including 30 Rock, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and, of course, Flight of the Conchords.

If you missed any of it, it's all archived. Enjoy.

Also -- talk back, you lurking bastards!

Well...not here, of course.

But the pictures are out there.

It seems Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron's brainy love interest in the popular High School Musical franchise (and demonstrably less brainy love interest in real life) took some nude photos of herself. And, of course, they leaked onto the Internet.

Where I found them in about three minutes.

Would get fired (and possibly sued) for linking to them from here but I will note a few things:

1) There are a series of photos of her in progressively less clothing, in provocative poses, until she's posing naked and smirking for what seems to be a camera with a self timer.

2) She's doing so in what is clearly a bedroom and not (as has been reported) a bathroom. The curtain behind her just looks like a shower curtain. There's a bed and dressers in plain view.

3) The sort of creepy part about this (I mean -- besides her being the star of Disney films) is that, though she's 18 years old, the bedroom looks very much like the bedroom of a very girly high school girl. Christmas lights are strung along the ceiling of the room. Stuffed animals are visible on the fluffy bed on which she poses on all fours in what appears to be her sports bra.

4) Though she's turned out the big lights, turned on the string of Christmas ones and lit a series of tea candles on the dresser to "set the mood" she's left a half-finished plastic bottle of Dannon water (exactly like the one I'm drinking out of right now, eerily) on the dresser right beside her. This sort of kills the teenage girl faux romanticism of the scene and gives it a creepy, "I'm going to need to stay hydrated" porno shoot vibe. While the photo is undeniably aesthetically pleasing (in the strictest anatomy-drawing class sense, of course) the room and the way she's set it up sort of torpedoes any potential sexiness and just sort of makes my skin crawl. Mostly.

5) Female friends of mine who are hostile to the idea that every woman needs a Brazilian wax to be sexy have a new hero in Vanessa Hudgens. She makes their argument forcefully.

The number of news stories on these photos this morning is sort of staggering -- and many suggest that this is going to ruin her career with Disney, maybe even take down the entire High School Musical franchise. But as I look at them I wonder -- can that be right? It's not like she's doing anything really awful in them. They don't even rise to the level of misbehavior of some recent beauty pageant contestants. She just did what some (maybe an increasing number, and we can talk about and be disturbed by that if we're so inclined) 18 year old girls do when they're young and beautiful -- she privately documented her nudity for her boyfriend. I don't think it was for mass consumption -- though with Paris and Lindsay as warnings along the path of young fame she probably should have known better.

Let's hope this mistake doesn't doom her.

I'm strangely ambivalent about Britney Spears, her new single and her upcoming performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.

The new single, "Gimme More" begins with Britney announcing "It's Britney, b**ch!" -- and then giggling girlishly.

She then moans/sings lines like "You've got me in a strange position/if you're on a mission/you've got my permission."

Which might have been intriguing five years ago. But we've now seen her pregnant, bald, swinging at photographers, marrying backup dancers and walking barefoot through gas station bathrooms. Any mystique that once existed is gone forever and the new single seems almost like a parody of a Britney Spears song.

As I've written about before, part of Britney's incredible success was the way in which she so successfully straddled that ever-thinner line between innocent bubble gum pop princess and wanton, hardcore pop whore. The whole wet hot virgin thing was not new -- but she did it so transcendently well that even the most savvy of us had to wonder, as Chuck Klosterman did in a classic piece for Esquire -- was she the least self-aware person on the planet, or the most self-aware?

The Video Music Awards could be a triumphant return for Britney -- someone I know has a theory that she's been so successful because so many people are, deep down within themselves, pulling for her to succeed despite her own ridiculousness. The further she falls -- marrying K-Fed, having two of his children and then leaving them at home to go panty-less clubbing with Paris Hilton -- the more we want her to, like Hulk Hogan, come back from the depths and be our hero once again.

But as a fellow reporter said to me today -- this could also be just an awful embarrassment. She's been through a lot since her last album and tour -- a marriage, two children, rehab -- and those who care on more than a voyeuristic, will-she-make-a-fool-of-herself level, may be expecting the young, hot dancing machine sexpot of a half-decade ago. We may instead get the modern version of Elvis' Live from Hawaii special -- a pop icon past whose pop moment has past, well beyond the peak of their powers, begging for people to care again but clearly consigned to a sort of post-stardom that can only ever bottom out in a sort of cut-rate cult fame that will never really compare to the heady thrill of new, young fame.

Her new publicity shots do have her looking a bit like a drag queen...

Which brings me to an interesting point.

I've noticed that gay men have become the latter-day bread and butter of many a faded female pop star (Cher, Madonna, Cindy Lauper, Debbie Harry). Some of the young women who grew up with the music will always have a soft spot for these pop divas -- but for whatever reason (pop stars' flamboyance, the fact that some drag queens like to dress like them, take your pick) gay guys seem to be the retirement plan. None of these women are gay themselves -- but they've all become "gay icons."

Not a bad deal, really.

So maybe the question is -- will Britney use this upcoming performance and upcoming album to keep herself in the mainstream pop spotlight a while longer (as her idol Madonna has managed to do) -- or is she headlining the next Gay Games?

Lindsey Lohan used to be such a cute, fresh-faced young actress who looked like she was going places. Now, it just looks like she's headed for the slammer.

From the New York Daily News:

"Lindsay Lohan hijacked an SUV from a near-stranger, took it on a 100-mph chase with three men inside, and then had the nerve to tell cops, "The black kid was driving."

"That's the shocking account given by the SUV's passengers, who are surprised they survived the white-knuckle ride from Malibu to Santa Monica that ended with the star's arrest on drunken-driving and drug possession charges.

...

"The young men say the fresh-from-rehab Lohan was crazed with rage and drunk on fame -- not to mention the cocktails and shots they say she downed before the wild episode.

"I can't get in trouble -- I'm a celebrity," Lohan allegedly bragged as the young men pleaded with her to stop the car. "I can do whatever the f*** I want."