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As something of a respite from Harry Potter Hoopla I've decided that today will be Culture Shock's inaugural Fast Food Friday.

This week I'm taking a look at Wendy's new Baconator sandwich. This thing actually scares me -- and Wendy's seems to have anticipated this. This is part of the ad campaign:

That's right -- "Careful. It can sense fear."

Having finally completely digested the Baconator which was my inaugural Fast Food Friday adventure, I found myself ready, at the end of a long week, to toss my heart, liver and colon back onto the craps table that is fast food dining and let it ride.

Come on -- baby needs a new pair of kidneys!

Wanna blow on these for luck?

Next up in my gastronomically masochistic fast food Rogues Gallery: the new Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich from Hardees (or Carl's Jr., depending on region).

Well, I've had my colon scraped and my blood filtered since my last Fast Food Friday -- and it's time to jump back into the frying pan. Or, you know, whatever they're cooking the McRib in.

Ah, the McRib. McDonald's teases us with this curious boneless pork monstrosity, bringing it back for another "Farewell Tour" just when we thought we'd seen the last of it -- like KISS or Fleetwood Mac, but with less indigestion.

Since the sandwich is now on one of its periodic returns, I decided to roll up my sleeves, take off my tie and get my fingers coated in barbecue sauce. Hold the onions, please...

McDonald's McRib promotional shot:

Actual McRib sandwich:

The McRib has its share of acolytes -- and more than its share of enemies.

Having killed an entire bottle of Tums since my last Fast Food Friday outing, I decided to "think outside the bun" and head to Taco Bell this week.

There I found the new "Big Bell Box Meal," a cardboard chest of paper-wrapped faux-Mexican delectables whose advertising campaign encourages you to "eat like a man!"

My manhood thus challenged, I smacked down the $5 to prove I could down this 1,000 plus calorie "meal" and still stand up.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the Big Bell Box Meal. It made me its bitch, leaving me wrecked, bloated, nauseous and scared, twitching in a meat-cheese-sugar coma, softly sobbing: "No mas...no mas..."