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March 18, 2009

Bill O'Reilly's creepy, sex-filled novel goes viral

The Village Voice has one-upped the viral audio clips of Barack Obama reading hilariously out-of-character phrases from his books.

Their entry: Bill O'Reilly reading passages from his creepy, hilariously bad thriller novel Those Who Trespass: A Novel of Television and Murder.

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The Voice writes that the 1998 book is "about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims include a powerful 'bitch' named Hillary and a fat 'slob' named Martin Moore."

Some are shocked that O'Reilly -- a self-styled moral arbiter who has criticized the coarse language, sex and violence in movies, on television and in pop music -- produced a novel full of coarse language, sex, violence and sexual violence.

Those people have got to be kidding, right?

Anyway -- the audio clips are pretty priceless. They include (among many others) O'Reilly voicing a crack dealer who says to his underage girlfriends:

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."

It has been said, and I have to agree, that it will probably be a matter of hours before we're seeing dance remixes of this stuff in the wild.


March 17, 2009

Steve Martin, First Amendment Hero

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Best news item I read all weekend: Steve Martin is financing an off-campus production of one of his plays because some parents at the Oregon high school where it was being staged have thrown a nutty about its "adult content."

The play, Picasso at the Lapin Agile, is about an imaginary meeting between Einstein and Picasso at a bar in Paris as both men are on the verge of great achievements in art and science.

Martin explained his reasoning in this letter to the La Grande observer.

Choice bits from the letter:

"I have heard that some in your community have characterized the play as “people drinking in bars, and treating women as sex objects.” With apologies to William Shakespeare, this is like calling Hamlet a play about a castle."

To prevent the play from acquiring a reputation it does not deserve, I would like to offer this proposal: I will finance a non-profit, off-high school campus production (low-budget, I hope!), supervised and/or directed by Mr. Cahill and cast at his discretion, so that individuals, outside the jurisdiction of the school board but within the guarantees of freedom of expression provided by the Constitution of the United States, can determine whether they will or will not see the play, even if they are under 18.

I predict that the experience will not be damaging, but meaningful.

Mr. Martin -- you have officially made up for those Pink Panther re-makes.

In celebration, I offer this banjo breakdown with the Muppets.

February 19, 2009

Obama + Sushi = Dinner we can believe in

We've seen the Obama comic book.

The Obama action figure.

And now...the Obama sushi.

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The Japanese chef who created this delicious-looking sushi tribute to our 44th president says he used small shrimp for the skin, black sesame for the hair and fish paste for the teeth.

What, no arugula?

(Via Cory at Boing Boing).

February 10, 2009

You are not Obama's B&$%#. Buy your own damn fries.

In a way, I'm surprised it took this long for this to go viral.

But, in their own sweet time, out-of-context clips from the audio version of President Obama's book Dreams from My Father have become an Internet phenomenon.

For those who haven't yet heard the (not safe for work) string of clips, which is character dialogue from the book:

And, of course, there are already several dance mixes:

What's most amusing to me about it: our president is, indeed, unleashing a torrent of curses in a hood dialect. But unlike the previous administration, it's not because he's forgotten his mic is hot or because he's lost his temper on the floor of the senate. Does that make it more or less funny?

If Joe Biden intentionally shoots a guy in the face comedy writers are going to go on strike.

January 14, 2009

Obama guest stars in Amazing Spider-Man

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GREENSBORO — President-elect Barack Obama guest stars in the latest issue of The Amazing Spider-Man, in stores today.

In a back-up story in the issue, #583, Spider-Man saves the popular president-elect from a super-villain attack on inauguration day.

Copies of the issue are already hot items online, where eBay sellers are listing them at as much as $40 — about ten times the cover price.

There are two versions of the issue - one with a cover for the main story, and one with Obama on the cover. Only about 25 copies of the Obama cover version will be available to non-subscribers at local comic shops.

---

More here.

November 7, 2008

Behind the scenes with the Obamas on election night

An Obama campaign photographer has an excellent Flickr stream of photos showing president-elect Obama, his family, friends and staff watching election results in their Chicago hotel.

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Check it out here.

(via Mark Frauenfelder at BoingBoing.)

November 6, 2008

Prostitutes face charges, ex-governor not so much

Remember Eliot Spitzer, the New York governor who was felled in a money-laundering/call girl scandal?

Spitzer

Well, the people running the service are facing federal charges -- including one woman who simply booked appointments.

But Spitzer himself? Not so much.

Of course. Why charge the money laundering John when you can go after the hookers, the service and the folks who answered the phones?

Sounds like justice to me.

November 4, 2008

Who would your favorite Superhero vote for?

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MTV has a feature asking comic book writers who their characters would vote for this year.

Super-heroes, from Iron Man to the X-Men, seem to be going heavily for Obama. (Insert your own ACORN joke here...)

Creator Erik Larsen left no room for doubt as to how his hero, The Savage Dragon, would vote...

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November 1, 2008

Punking Palin

The Canadian comedy duo known as "The Masked Avengers" somehow cracked the impenetrable security of the McCain/Palin campaign and got in a prank call to Gov. Sarah Palin.

Pretending to be French President Nicolas Sarkozy, they get Palin to discuss hunting from a helicopter (and promise she'll be a better shot than Dick Cheney), how hot Sarkozy's supermodel wife is in bed and even the infamous Nailin' Paylin porn movie produced by Hustler.

Listen below...

October 28, 2008

ABC won't air Obama's half-hour campaign spot Wednesday

Negotiations between the Obama campaign and ABC have broken down and they will be the only major network not airing the half hour Obama spot on Wednesday. Instead, Pushing Daisies will air at its regular time.

The network is now telling viewers they "have a choice" on Wednesday night...

I love Pushing Daisies -- but my choice? I'll DVR it.

Saturday Night Live's sketch on the Obama program has been on a constant loop in my head for days...

Obama/Lee Dorsey mashup - "Yes We Can"

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Check out this pretty groovy mashup of Barack Obama and Lee Dorsey's classic "Yes We Can."

October 8, 2008

Berkley Breathed ending "Opus" comic strip

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Pulitzer Prize winning cartoonist Berkley Breathed is ending his popular Sunday comic Opus, which often swings from weird and whimsical to bitingly satirical.

He says he's "destroying the village in order to save it."

Breathed tells the L.A. Times: "30 years of cartooning to end. I’m destroying the village to save it. Opus would inevitably become a ranting mouthpiece in the coming wicked days, and I respect the other parts of him too much to see that happen. The Michael Moore part of me would kill the part of him that was important to his fans.”

Breathed seems at once eaten alive by cynicism and playfully hopeful.

“With the crisis in Wall Street and Washington, I’m suspending my comic strip to assist the nation," he told the L.A. Times. "The best way I can help is to leave politics permanently and write funny stories for America’s kids. I call on John McCain to join me.”

Entertainment Weekly (sorta) likes Oliver Stone's "W."

Entertainment Weekly calls Oliver Stone's biopic of the sitting president "unusual and inescapably interesting".

But reviewer Todd McCarthy also says the film "is unable to achieve more than a sort of engaging pop-history pageant and amateur, if not inapt, psychological evaluation, due to the unavoidable lack of perspective and a final act that has yet to be written."

Sounds about right -- but I still think I'm going to see it.

What about you guys?

October 3, 2008

Sarah Palin Porn is a go

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It was only a matter of time.

From the Frisky.com story:

The title of the pornographic homage to the governor of Alaska is “Nailin’ Paylin.” Contrary to earlier reports, the movie is in pre-production. One Jerry T. is set to direct, and porn star Lisa Ann will be taking on the role of Palin—er, “Paylin.” According to HUSTLER, “Nailin’ Paylin” is a “naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor,” featuring “girl-on-girl lovin’,” “nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door,” and a younger Palin getting seduced by her creationist college professor who “will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!” Also included: a three-way hardcore sex scene starring porn stars as Palin/Paylin, Hillary Clinton, and Condoleezza Rice. Of course, no political porn satire would be complete without a salute to Fox News—a Bill O’Reilly stand-in will announce the movie’s multiple sex scandals as they unfold. “Nailin’ Paylin” will be released just in time for the November elections, natch.

October 1, 2008

Bill Maher says free Palin baby-daddy

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Not sure how I missed this, but Bill Maher is calling for a movement to save Levi Johnston, the young man who knocked up Sarah Palin's daughter and immediately became her "fiance."

Web site here.

September 19, 2008

There must be fifty ways to vote Obama...

Make that 52.

This site has created a unique, pro-Obama bumper sticker for all 50 states, plus DC and Puerto Rico.

Here's the North Carolina sticker:
NC%20for%20Obama.jpg

September 4, 2008

Rage Against the Machine show goes a cappella, ends in violence

Rage Against the Machine was forced to go a cappella in Minneapolis this week when the PA was killed at their concert opposite the Republican convention.

They took to the streets in performance and protest with, as Rolling Stone reports, guitarist Tom Morello "making the “bow-wow-wow-wakka-chikkas” with his mouth.

Then it apparently devolved into violence during which 102 people were arrested.

No joke here. Just ... you know ...Jesus.

August 29, 2008

The Annotated Obama

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It may also be worth mentioning that the chants of "eight is enough" that we heard at the Obama acceptance speech last night were previously heard on The West Wing, hurled by a Republican presidential candidate at the Bartlet administration.

It was mentioned on another blog that there was a similarity between Obama's saying John McCain "didn't get it" and a line from Michael Douglas' President Shepherd in The American President, written by West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin.

That line, aimed at Richard Dreyfus' Republican candidate in the movie, is actually "Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it."

Life imitates art imitating life.

In an interview in this month's GQ, Sorkin says he digs Obama.

From the Q&A:

"The first time I met Barack Obama—I should say the only time I’ve met Barack Obama—was a year ago, when he was doing fifty-person-cocktail-party fund-raisers. He flattered me by saying, “My intention is to steal a lot of your lines.” My prediction is he’s just going to blow the doors off the place in Denver. This is a man who—the Jeremiah Wright of it all aside—was clearly paying attention in church. I don’t need to tell you that I’m a big fan of oratory. A big part of leadership is the goose-bump experience. We’ve been missing that."

Barack Obama: He Completes Us

The Daily Show, taping before Obama's big speech last night, had to settle for this "biographical film."

For those who missed the actual speech:

I did think it was a little strange that after the speech, as the Obama and Biden families were gathering together on the stage, there was this over-the-top country song called "Only in America" playing.

Maybe it was one of those hedging-your-bets things. Like -- all right, we've just seen a black man nominated for president by one of the two major parties for the first time in history. Let's give them a little twang to take the sting out of it for those people who are a little freaked out. When Bruce Springsteen's not patriotic enough you've gotta find somebody in an actual cowboy hat.

August 18, 2008

Daughtry wants you to vote

Here's a link, since the embed code doesn't seem to work. Daughtry covers "Feels Like the First Time" -- great version -- as part of CNN's League of First-Time Voters campaign. (Hyphen insertion is mine; CNN chose not to use one. :)

August 14, 2008

What's on their iPods -- Presidential Candidate Edition

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Blender Magazine asked Obama and McCain to pick a compact, 10-song playlist.

Here's what they came up with.

A few surprises -- Obama is apparently that one black guy who actually digs U2 and Bruce Springsteen and McCain went with not one but two ABBA tunes.

But they both agreed on Sinatra.

Some funny commentary on the lists from Randy Newman and Girl Talk, too.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..."

"...so I can let them die in jail over a clerical error."

Remember when that movie Rendition came out, and people thought it was far-fetched and sensationalist?

Turns out there's far less international political intrigue and suspicion of espionage than that necessary for people to simply disappear. And die. In U.S. custody. Because of clerical errors.

Today's lesson: If you're a husband, father and law abiding cancer patient, pray that U.S. immigration doesn't screw up your address.


August 1, 2008

Trailer for Oliver Stone's Bush biopic, "W."

I think we can all agree that although Oliver Stone's political/historical movies (JFK, Nixon) are fascinating, they have to be viewed as a sort of historical fiction with a heavy bent toward speculative psychoanalysis and melodrama.

But you still do want to go see them.

Right now I'm reading First Son by Bill Minutaglio, a veteran Texas journalist who delves deep into the lives of the Bush clan.

Hopefully Stone's movie will do a little of what Minutaglio's book does -- help to humanize a man who has been both demonized and lionized beyond all logic at a turbulent period in American history.

July 15, 2008

Illegal Wiretaps We Can Believe In?

Obama's vote on warrant-less wiretaps has infuriated one blogger who decided to channel his rage creatively.

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June 25, 2008

Barack Obama talks Dylan, Jay-Z in Rolling Stone

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Barack Obama's on the cover of Rolling Stone again -- this time without "FASHION TIPS FROM PANIC AT THE DISCO!" blaring from beneath or around him. Maybe the best cover shot I've seen of him yet.

In the interview he talks about (among other things) what's on his iPod -- Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen, Dylan -- and how well he gets along with Jay-Z.

Taking a lesson from John McCain's "Bomb Iran" Beach Boys flap, Obama cannily avoids saying something like "I got 99 problems but Hillary Clinton is no longer one."

Interview here.

June 10, 2008

Obama at the Green Bean

Seen at the cash register of the Green Bean today:

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June 5, 2008

Trailer for new Hunter Thompson documentary

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The trailer for Gonzo, the new Hunter Thompson documentary out next month, is up now.

It's narrated by Johnny Depp and looks as though it has a deep bench of political figures (Jimmy Carter, Pat Buchanan, George McGovern), celebrities and writers (Tom Wolfe, Jann Wenner, Tim Crouse).

Some great historical footage I'd never seen, too. Looks good.

May 7, 2008

What would Hunter Thompson do?

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There are many, many reasons I wish Hunter Thompson hadn't killed himself.

But this campaign is yet another one.

He went out with things looking mighty dark politically -- his prediction John Kerry would oust George W. Bush in the last election was essentially wishful thinking.

God, how he would have loved seeing a black man and a white woman duke it out for the democratic nomination -- and how he would have loved mocking the disaster it's become.

The longer this thing goes the more maddening it is -- and the more I regret that we'll never get his take on it.

May 5, 2008

Springsteen off Hillary's iPod?

Head over to our Decision 2008 blog to check out my post from Hillary Clinton's visit to High Point this morning.

You can listen to audio of the speech, see a little video, check out pictures of the crazy Hillarymobile and help me answer the question: Are Hill and The Boss really no longer BFFs?

April 16, 2008

The Boss backs Obama

Bruce Springsteen is choosing sides:

"Senator Obama, in my view, is head and shoulders above the rest. He has the depth, the reflectiveness, and the resilience to be our next President. He speaks to the America I've envisioned in my music for the past 35 years, a generous nation with a citizenry willing to tackle nuanced and complex problems, a country that's interested in its collective destiny and in the potential of its gathered spirit. A place where "...nobody crowds you, and nobody goes it alone.""

Bruce does misidentify Obama's book "Dreams from My Father" as "Dreams of My Father" in the statement -- but Barack has still got to be psyched to know The Boss thinks he was born to run.

Hillary, who has been blaring The Boss' music at her rallies, less so.

You can't take these things personally and I'm not sure Bruce will ask her to stop, but you've got to feel a little foolish cuing up "Land of Hope and Dreams" when you know the guy singing the song wants your opponent conducting the train.

March 26, 2008

Obama related to Brad Pitt, Clinton to Angelina Jolie

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Now this is one strange story:

"This could make for one odd family reunion: Barack Obama is a distant cousin of actor Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt's girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society found some remarkable family connections for the three presidential candidates -- Democratic rivals Obama and Clinton, and Republican John McCain."

It was a story some time ago that Obama and George W. Bush are 10th cousins. But the researchers have also found that Obama is distantly related to Harry S. Truman, James Madison, Dick Cheney, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson and General Robert E. Lee.

Clinton has a few notable distant relatives herself -- many of them French Canadians. But Jack Kerouac is canceled out by Camilla Parker-Bowles. A connection to Alanis Morissette is less impressive when we learn she's also related to Celine Dion. A connection to Madonna is, at this point in our cultural history, sort of neutral.

February 8, 2008

Mellencamp to McCain: Make like a tree and go screw yourself

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John Mellencamp was not, as they say, "down" with presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain using his songs "Our Country" and "Pink Houses" on the campaign trail as he tries to sell his party on his conservative credentials.

Mellencamp is a dyed-in-the-wool leftie who was pulling for John Edwards. His publicist asked of the McCain camp:

“If you’re such a true conservative, why are you playing songs that have a very populist pro-labor message written by a guy who would find no argument if you characterized him as left of center?”

Like Ronald Reagan before him, McCain seems to have wanted to co-opt the music (or its spirit) without actually listening to it. But he's done the gentlemanly thing and stopped using the songs.

January 29, 2008

Hillary Clinton, campaign songs and nuns being raped

Mark Frauenfelder of BoingBoing points out that one of the songs Hillary Clinton is using on the campaign trail is "When the Lady Smiles" by Dutch rock group Golden Earring.

In the video clip for the song (which, incidentally, has not aged well -- I can't imagine how they choose these songs. Ronald Reagan famously wanted to use "Born in the U.S.A." -- an anthem about how screwed up the country was -- because he thought it sounded patriotic) a nun is raped and a dog eats the attacker's brain. The video was banned from MTV in 1984.

The chances that Clinton knows this -- or is paying much attention at all to what's being played at her rallies and why -- are pretty slim. But it is none-the-less hilarious that Clinton, proud mommy of legislation such as the Family Entertainment Protection Act and constant cultural hall monitor of the "for our children" crusade, is blaring a song by a band whose video MTV thought was too much. In 1984. The same year they broadcast Madonna writhing on the floor in a wedding dress, moaning "Like A Virgin."

December 31, 2007

United Nations + Marvel Superheroes = WTF?

And here I thought it couldn't get any stranger than House of M or Infinite Crisis.

The United Nations has teamed with Marvel Comics to produce a comic in which the heroes and the U.N. join together to solve conflicts and fight disease worldwide.

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The move's supposed to help the U.N. rehabilitate its somewhat tarnished image -- but I'm not sure that saying: "Hey, if we had some super-powered underwear perverts working with us, we could actually get this stuff done." is the best possible message.

December 13, 2007

Oh Snap!

I have the Iowa debate on in the background as I write right now and they just asked Barack Obama how, as president, he'll make the break with the past he's been suggesting when he has so many former Clinton administration officials advising him.

Hillary Clinton, in maybe the least dignified possible move, began cackling madly at this question and said into her microphone: "I'd like to hear the answer to that one!"

Obama calmly looked over at her and said: "Don't worry, Hillary - I'm looking forward to having you advise me, too."

You do not want to play the dozens with Obama, Hillary.

December 3, 2007

Chuck Norris Approved

With The Daily Show on hiatus during the writer's strike, it seems the politicians are picking up the slack.

If you haven't yet seen the ACTUAL POLITICAL AD Mike Huckabee filmed with Chuck Norris, you must watch it right now.

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