Bill O'Reilly's creepy, sex-filled novel goes viral
The Village Voice has one-upped the viral audio clips of Barack Obama reading hilariously out-of-character phrases from his books.
Their entry: Bill O'Reilly reading passages from his creepy, hilariously bad thriller novel Those Who Trespass: A Novel of Television and Murder.
The Voice writes that the 1998 book is "about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims include a powerful 'bitch' named Hillary and a fat 'slob' named Martin Moore."
Some are shocked that O'Reilly -- a self-styled moral arbiter who has criticized the coarse language, sex and violence in movies, on television and in pop music -- produced a novel full of coarse language, sex, violence and sexual violence.
Those people have got to be kidding, right?
Anyway -- the audio clips are pretty priceless. They include (among many others) O'Reilly voicing a crack dealer who says to his underage girlfriends:
"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."
"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."
"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."
"Off with those pants."
It has been said, and I have to agree, that it will probably be a matter of hours before we're seeing dance remixes of this stuff in the wild.

