Forgiving a man like this
What you are about to read is a statement from SNAP, the
"Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests." The statement applauds the guilty verdict given Father Paul Shanley for having molested/raped children under his spiritual care. He is old and frail now and, if given a prison sentence, will likely die in jail.
Is there a place for forgiveness here?
I grew up believing that you don't have to like everybody, but you do have to love everybody. So you have to eventually forgive them for whatever. Of course, it took me three years to put that to practice recently when ... I digress...but I feel a lot better about the person and the situation now.
Are some acts -- especially those of a spiritual leader's betrayal -- too horrible to forgive?
SNAP'S STATEMENT
We are relieved and grateful. We are especially grateful to the brave men and women who were assaulted by Shanley and came forward. Because of their courage, innocent children and vulnerable adults are safer now.
We hope that the judge will lock up Shanley for a long time. That's the only way to ensure that he doesn't rape another innocent child or vulnerable adult.
There is no magic age at which child molesters suddenly become 'cured.' So despite Shanley's age, the only prudent assumption is that he's still a danger to others.
He may seem elderly, frail or even contrite. But his physical prowess or emotional state isn't what matters. What matters is the safety of innocent people. For their sake, Shanley needs to be behind bars for a long time.
Comments (6)
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Forgiveness HAS to happen. How can one forgive one's own self of wrongs if another cannot be forgiven?
What Shanley did is horrible. However, the victims have to find the courage to forgive just as the courage to come forth with the information regarding the crimes committed against them.
Posted on February 8, 2005 1:05 PM
Of course there's room for forgiveness. I have forgiven the priest who molested me. I hope that Shanley's victims can do the same.
But it's about protection of the innocent, not about punishment of the guilty. The reason we lock up molesters is not vengeance, it's safety.
These men are dangerous. They are shrewd, manipulative, skillful, deceitful.
Unlike car jackers and muggers, they don't need or rely on physical prowess or speed to commit their crimes. They rely on their cunning.
Unlike car jackers and muggers, they don't become less able to commit their crimes as they get older. The become MORE able. . .because through experience they learn even better how to detect and seduce the vulnerable and cover up their crimes. Plus they have the advantage - with stooped shoulders, graying hair, soft voices - of seeming even more harmless than they may have in their youth.
There's also a huge difference between public policy and personal choice. I can choose to forgive my predator. That's admirable. But I can't knowingly allow him the chance to hurt others. That's irresponsible.
If we allow a convicted drunken driver to get behind the wheel of a school bus filled with kids, is that forgiveness or folly?
Look at Pope John Paul II. He visited his would-be assassin in prison. He prayed for the criminal. He did not, however, urge that the violent man be released. To do so would not have been Christian. It would have been reckless.
It pains me when some misunderstand and misapply the notion of forgiveness in ways that lead to putting other innocent kids and vulnerable adults in harm's way again, even in cases of proven, serial, predatory behavior by dangerous men.
Posted on February 8, 2005 2:20 PM
Forgiveness is not the absence of consequences.
Posted on February 8, 2005 3:36 PM
some things are too horrible to forgive.
Posted on February 8, 2005 7:04 PM
Not being a Christian, I'm not under any religious obligation to forgive anyone. That being said, Shanley has done no harm to me, so I have nothing against him personally. I expect any forgiveness from me would be of little consequence.
If I had been harmed by him, I would not even think of forgiving him, unless he made the effort to ask for it. That would be a difficult thing to do, I expect.
You ask if there's room for forgiveness? I think it's possible. But there's no way to know for certain.
Posted on February 8, 2005 9:32 PM
I think he should be punished.
I also consider forgiveness a separate but necessary component -- and I don't think you have to be a Christian to feel compelled to forgive someone. (Studies show hate and stress can really wear you down.) Someone I admire said forgiveness is not for the forgiven but the forgiver -- and that put a lot in life in perspective for me.
Posted on February 10, 2005 10:53 AM