News-Record.com

In my rape survivor support group, I heard others express the same frustrations. We no longer believed that God would protect us because we weren't protected. We no longer believed that God answers prayer because we had prayed that our abusers would stop, and they didn’t.

We all felt as though we lost not only our God, but also our faith communities. There, some people insisted that we "forgive as Christ forgives." Others asked what we did to make someone rape us. Some suggested that we were punished for a previous sin, while others glibly assured that all things work together for the good. We all walked away from the church with greater despair than we had when we entered.

I am convinced that had I not been enrolled in divinity school and contracted to work in a church, I would have walked away from my faith. In a new church, I told the pastor, "I can't do this. I never know until I wake up if it's a good or bad day. I can't counsel people. I need someone to minister to me."

He kindly replied, "That's OK. Just show up." I showed up for Bible study and worship services. I did nothing special; I just came.
A year later, I found a space where I could share my story, hear the stories of others, and reassure others and myself that God really does care about what had happened to us. Soon, I wanted to offer others something that I did not have — someone to teach me how to pray again.

Without any budget, several volunteers and I bungled our way into developing worship services, community education and group counseling for children, survivors, perpetrators and all who love them. We didn't know what we were doing, but we cared. We were able to build a place where people could say "rape" from the pulpit.

In the movie "Field of Dreams," Kevin Costner’s character hears a voice telling him, "If you build it, they will come." Costner’s character concludes that he must build a baseball diamond, and ancestral baseball players, peace and community all come as a result.
God’s voice tells clergy, church leaders and laity to do the opposite: "They have come; you just need to build it."

Statistics state that one in four women is the victim of sexual violence. That number does not include the incarcerated, embarrassed, men, children, the perpetrators or the people who love them. There is no faith community without people who have been affected by the experience of sexual violence.

The broken-hearted, post-traumatic, disenchanted, muffled voices, questioning minds and torn souls have come. And few of us have built any fields for them. Out of ignorance, we do not respond compassionately, nor do we embrace strangers with the reminder of God's everlasting love, healing power, grace and mercy. We do not speak out against this injustice.

But we can. Each of us can make our faith communities a safer, more educated and more receptive place for those wrapped up in the experience of sexual violence. We just need to care and begin building the field.

Coleman, a Ph.D., is the director of Womanist Religious Studies and assistant professor of religion at Bennett College. She is the author of "The Dinah Project: A Handbook for Congregational Response to Sexual Violence" (Pilgrim 2004).