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I have problems with the verdict...

But should she get these children back?

Comments (7)

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Darryl [TypeKey Profile Page] said:

I say let the courts sift through the mess.

The question that looms in my mind is why did she stay with the man if the situation was that bad? I just cannot accept the fact that people "cannot" leave bad relationships. I have. Granted it is not easy in the beginning. However, the end result is worth the process. Killing someone is NOT the way to get out of a bad relationship.

Furthermore, this woman did not stay to face her consequences like a good Christian; rather, she fled. How that did not play a part in the trial is beyond me.

As for having custody of the children; I believe that she should have visitation, NOT custody!

Shalom

Alice said:

Darryl: Many times people cannot leave bad relationships: their tormentors don't let them. For those in violent reltionships, often the most dangerous time is right after they've left the relationship.
Bear in mind this lady was married to a big honcho preacher in a tiny town- I'm not so sure he would hve let her just leave. People would talk. His reputation- especially as big daddy preacher- would suffer and the image he put to the world would be tarnished. Some people can handle that; it's unlikely someone who prided himself on his publc image " with a pipeline to God" who ruled by violence behind closed doors- would.

Members of his congregation testified on her behalf during the trial.
And his parents claiming custody? I figure they're going for revenge- punishing her by taking the kids away- rather than looking at the children's best interests

eric said:

Walking a mile in someone else's shoes is not always possible, but the basic idea of valuing empathy is still one of the best around.

Whatever happened between this woman and her husband, it is for the courts to decide how things should play out. A lot of study and wisdom will be needed to find the best course for all who are involved. I hope that the system is administered by wise people who have both respect for the law and a healthy sense of empathy.

Regarding this woman's history, I'm not sure I have much of a problem with the initial verdict. If she was telling the truth about her life married to the minister, the verdict makes sense to me. The story certainly appears plausible, given the evidence provided by psychologists who interviewed her.

Whether she would make a fit parent for her children after all of this trouble, I would naturally have my doubts. But again, I have no way of accurately predicting the consequences of reuniting her with her children. Hopefully, the courts will be able to make a more informed opinion on the matter in due course.

eric said:

"I just cannot accept the fact that people 'cannot' leave bad relationships. I have."

Oh come ON, Darryl! I seriously doubt that you, being a man, have ever been in a relationship as poisonous as the one this woman describes, or that you've ever felt both legally and morally bound in such a relationship, to the point that it was seen as a sin to even consider leaving it.

I've never experienced such a situation in a personal relationship, but I certainly have a notion of how a person can stay long past the point of no return and end up snapping. I am not saying that what happened was justifiable... but I can see how it came about.

buz said:

how does a mother explain to her children that their daddy was a bad man, so i used a shotgun to fix the problem ? perhaps in time if marys story is true the children might confirm or deny they also suffered at his hands. it's a sad story and the issue with the children seems as sad. we can pray for the best !

Alice said:

Eric: To the woodshed with you, friend.
It is quite possible that Darryl (and other men) has been in a relationship that was toxic, violent and psyche-crushing. He may have been physically abused by his ex- unfortunately it's not all that rare. Men, however, regardless of whom they're partnered with, are far less likely to report being victims of domestic abuse.
Sadly, most law enforcement agencies and domestic violence programs are only geared towards assisting women who suffer at the hands of male partners- whether the couple is married in the eyes of the state or are cohabiting. Men abused by wives or girlfriends, and men abused by male domestic partners get short shrift

Men. however, usually are in a better position financially to get out and away from their abusers.

eric said:

"Men. however, usually are in a better position financially to get out and away from their abusers."

Yes, this is the point I was thinking of specifically in my earlier statement. I don't know the details of Darryl's life, but I got the impression when we've met that he has long been capable of being self-sufficient in life.

I know that there indeed are men who end up as victims of domestic abuse... sorry that I implied otherwise. {:-(

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