Are there support groups for pastor's wives?
I got this email the other day and was hoping that pastor 'spouses' out there could offer some insight:
My pastor's wife has several children, the oldest has ADHD, and her pastor husband likes to get to church really early on Sunday mornings to organize his thoughts and prepare for the day.
So this means she has to get the kids ready and to church alone.
And our Sunday school is early.
She is a stay at home mom and the church has a secretary. However, a lot of people will ask her general housekeeping questions on Sundays and that is a source of irritation. Things like, who is supposed to be doing the nursery today or do you know where the grape juice/wine for communion is?
What do pastor's wives do to get all the kids ready alone on a Sunday morning? What do they do when their child misbehaves in Sunday School or preaching? They obviously can't get their husband to take the child outside for some form of discipline? What do other pastor's wives do to avoid unwanted questions? Is it frustrating to always have to miss church when the kids are sick because the husband generally can't skip church to mind them?
Comments (9)
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Not a pastor's spouse, but heard about this one:
Global Pastors Wives Network: http://www.gpwn.tv/
Posted on November 20, 2007 1:38 AM
someone correct me if i am missing something here. there are many women (who are not pastors wives) that content with theses same issues. some men go play golf on sundays and leave their wives to handle getting the kids ready for church or maybe the husband works on sundays - don't get me wrong, i really sympathize with the struggles of these women but being a pastors wife does not shield her from family issues. as for the pastors wive getting irritated by churchgoers asking her about church issues, well the nerve of some people to ask her about church stuff. being a wife/mother in itself (imo) is a momumental task and they are to be highly praised - now add in the responsiblity of being a pastors wife and you have a woman who must continually seeks Gods counsel and wisdom - any other support mechanism for her would surely be welcomed as well.
Posted on November 20, 2007 9:51 AM
I am a pastor's wife, mother of 3, and recently became a stay at home mother. The responsibility is overwhelming. The husband/pastor must remember that ministry starts at home. God first, marriage, family, then...ministry/church. May I suggest that this pastor's wife take some schedule time out for herself weekly. YES WEEKLY. Her husband/pastor needs to support this in order for the wife to balance out life. Being a pastor's wife is much more than just being a wife or mother. Unless you are in that role you really cannot understand.
Posted on December 5, 2007 6:53 PM
I have been a pastor's wife since 1976 so I feel qualified to some extent to respond to this poast. The key to Sunday morning success is organization. Dad can help with this and emphasize the importance of this. just as he should get all of his clothes ready Saturday night, so should kids. You and I both know there is nothing worse than Dad running around crazy on Sunday morning because he can't find a white shirt or just the right tie. If this becomes Saturday night ritual for everyone, it will help. It will take some getting used to because once the Saturday night decision is made-no changing of minds allowed (this even includes mom :(
When you answer questions with "I'm sorry, I don't really know." politely, and often enough, the questions will taper off.
As for disciplining your children in church, they are your kids -DISCIPLINE, Make sure you and your spouse agree on the process and it's a good idea to have consequences at home so mom isn't the only bad guy when it comes to church discipline. Parsonage kids are like all kids, they will try to push the limits. The way your family handles such misbehavior will serve as an example for some other young families that may not have a clue as to how to discipline their children. The danger her is to overreact to your child's behavior. I always said my husband wouldn't be bothered by other people's children swinging from the balcony but he'd definitely hear our own child hiccup.
Thankfully my boys are now 24 and 21. They attend church, bring friends, and know how to behave in church. :) But there are some wild stories as to what we went through to get to this point.
Posted on July 10, 2008 2:26 AM
I have been a pastor's wife since 1976 so I feel qualified to some extent to respond to this poast. The key to Sunday morning success is organization. Dad can help with this and emphasize the importance of this. just as he should get all of his clothes ready Saturday night, so should kids. You and I both know there is nothing worse than Dad running around crazy on Sunday morning because he can't find a white shirt or just the right tie. If this becomes Saturday night ritual for everyone, it will help. It will take some getting used to because once the Saturday night decision is made-no changing of minds allowed (this even includes mom :(
When you answer questions with "I'm sorry, I don't really know." politely, and often enough, the questions will taper off.
As for disciplining your children in church, they are your kids -DISCIPLINE, Make sure you and your spouse agree on the process and it's a good idea to have consequences at home so mom isn't the only bad guy when it comes to church discipline. Parsonage kids are like all kids, they will try to push the limits. The way your family handles such misbehavior will serve as an example for some other young families that may not have a clue as to how to discipline their children. The danger her is to overreact to your child's behavior. I always said my husband wouldn't be bothered by other people's children swinging from the balcony but he'd definitely hear our own child hiccup.
Thankfully my boys are now 24 and 21. They attend church, bring friends, and know how to behave in church. :) But there are some wild stories as to what we went through to get to this point.
Posted on July 10, 2008 2:26 AM
we are full time pastors we need support,we have started our ministry 5 yrs.back we have 25 pastors working with us in slums of mumbai seeking support for pastors,
Cephas Angre,Director
Posted on July 29, 2008 6:24 AM
Support for Pastors wife /family /Childrens
Posted on July 31, 2008 7:03 AM
The best advice I've ever heard is to lay everything out the night before. That helps immensely with getting ready on Sunday mornings. As far as finding support, I'd recommend any struggling pastor's wife check out pastorswives.org. They have a nice website and a message board for pastors' wives.
Posted on August 25, 2008 11:07 PM
Check out
www.pastorswives.org
articles, a forum, and pastors wives from all over the country
Posted on September 10, 2008 1:49 PM