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So we walked around and she said, "This is Jack Tannenbaum. I want you to meet him." We went around to all of these people's graves.
"This is where Rabbi Rypins is buried and let me tell you who he was," she said.

This was the way that she taught me some of the Jewish history of the town.

There is something to be said for memory and there is a certain part of us, as Jews, that really does say that you have to always remember. I think that’s what Adelaide was really saying.

I remember growing up, when I came home from school, I would sit down at the piano and play or see what I could "schnorr" from supper if it was cooking. But I remember that every October 22, when I came home I would see a picture of my grandfather on the piano that had been moved there by my mother and a Yarhzeit candle in front of it. And on that day, I knew I was not supposed to play piano. I also knew on that day that she would sit down with my sister and me and tell us stories about her dad. Her dad was named Fred, and I was named after him. And the reason was that my mother was 7 months pregnant with me when her dad died of a massive heart attack.

To hear those stories was always something very special and it was the way she taught us to remember. I think that this is important tonight because Monday is Memorial Day. This morning I opened up the paper and what did I see, nothing about Memorial Day as a Memorial Day, but everything about Memorial Day sales.

So, I thought to myself, something is really wrong. Part of the problem we face as a country, is that as Americans, we do not honor the memory of our departed loved ones and, in this case, our soldiers who gave their lives to defend this country. Jews do this almost naturally.

Recently, I was in New Orleans, and when I was on my way home, a smartly dressed marine sergeant sat in front of me on the airplane. As we were about to land, the pilot came on the PA system and said that when we get to Greensboro, we want everyone to stay in their seats until the marine sergeant gets off the plane because he is escorting a fallen comrade from Iraq.

When we landed he stood up and as he was walking off the plane, people were applauding. After this, the rest of us got off the plane. You know when you get off the plane and go up the ramp, you can look out of the window. And everyone who was on this plane did not go to baggage claim, they stood there quietly, looking out the window, as a Marine Corp Honor Guard came and took the casket off the plane and put it in a funeral home's hearse. When we went to claim the luggage, there were four or five people that I could tell had been crying. I went up to the sergeant who was waiting for his luggage and I asked him where this man was from and what has his name. He said he did not know either. They never told him! Why did I want to know that? Because once Rabbi Koren and I went to the funeral of a young soldier from Guilford County who had died in Iraq. The funeral was held in a Baptist church. Why did we do that?

Imagine what it is like at the church when three or four hundred people are there and all of a sudden, in walk two Rabbis in black suits and black kippot. It is a powerful expression to that church community of unity and solidarity. We did not have to say anything. The amount of appreciation we felt was tremendous. We stood there as they took the casket of this man and put it in a hearse. People came up to us, even family members, to express their appreciation for our being there.

It seems to me that we have a lost something, particularly in Memorial Day. Because what does Memorial Day memorialize? Those men who came back in flag draped caskets.

The scene that I saw when I got off the plane is not one that you will see on TV. The government and the media have decided not to show such scenes. During the Vietnam War, such scenes were regularly shown in the media, but not now. I think that this is a terrible mistake.

After the 1,000th soldier died in Iraq, Ted Koppel decided to read the names of the 1,000 soldiers on Nightline. Our local ABC affiliate decided not to carry the program, claiming that it was too political.

So what did we do at Temple Emanuel? We started reading the names. So since that time on Shabbat, we have read more than 3,000 names of soldiers who have been killed.

Memorial Day recalls the valor and sacrifice of 116,516 who were killed in World War I, 407,316 in World War II, 36,914 in Korea, 58,169 in Vietnam, 269 in the Gulf War, 482 in Afghanistan and Iraq 4058 thus far in Iraq. Look at the numbers, more than 4,000 from Iraq and 29, 395 injured.

But then, I look at World War II with almost a half million of our boys lost and I understand why there are people like our congregant, Nat Harrison, who has done such holy work keeping alive the memory of the men of the greatest generation in the News & Record every week. My father was one of those men. My father-in-law was one of those men. My father-in-law was on the ship that was bombed and sank in the Atlantic. My father was in the Pacific.

Growing up, we heard stories about THE WAR. When I met Nancy's parents, I noticed that her dad would watch any World War II movie on TV even if he had seen it a hundred times. There were two ways that I tried to gain his favor. One was by trying to play golf and the second was by watching old World War II movies with him.

Memorial Day began in 1868. Red Poppies used to be sold to commemorate the dead. Parades were held and flags were placed in graves. In 1971, Congress mandated that Memorial Day be observed on the last Monday of the month of May, thus creating a three day weekend. Today, few communities have parades or other observances. Realizing that something was missing, President Clinton in the last year of office signed an Executive order mandating a moment of silence be observed at 3 p.m. local time in all Federal agencies.

There used to be a program on at the dinner hour called the Shell Dinner hour. On this program, they would play Glenn Miller music from WORLD WAR II music. My mother and father listened to that music during dinner. It did not matter that my sister Gail and I did not want to listen to this music. My father’s favorite song was Chattanooga, Choo Choo.

I also remember hearing about how my great Aunt Gertrude lost two of her sons in World War II.

So that was a way when I was growing up that we remembered, but even growing up in my family, what was Memorial Day?

Memorial Day was a day to be with family or go to the lake or go to the pool or something like that, and for that I do not blame my family, but rather this was the way it was for all Americans. I never remember attending any memorial service.

I would like to contrast our Memorial Day picnics and sales with the way Israel commemorates their Memorial Day. The schools are not closed. At 11 p.m, each high school has its own ceremony. Across the nation, an air raid siren goes off and for two minutes, cars stop and people stand at attention. Most every high school there has a monument with the names of kids who went to that high school who were killed in some of Israel’s wars. 22,000 people have given their lives to defend Israel. Israel’s Memorial Day is used as an educational opportunity to teach the stories of the heroes who gave their lives for the country.

We need to find a way to help America get back to understanding what Memorial Day is. Why is that important? Because a country that honors its soldiers on Memorial Day will be more contemplative before sending them into battle. Maybe a country that truly honors its war dead will demand that its government realize that any decision to deploy our armed forces will mean that many people will lose their husbands and fathers.

Maybe a country that truly honors its war dead will demand that its government think twice before embarking on a "war of choice."

So, I do not know what your plans are for Memorial Day. I do not know if you are going to go shopping or to a movie. Perhaps it will be a day just like any other day. Somehow what I am hoping for is that for at least a moment, I will pause to remember the valor of those who have died defending this country, a county which has proven itself to be the greatest expression of human freedom in history.

Yesterday, I shared these thoughts with my friend Eva, who is a holocaust survivor. Eva is quite elderly, and is really quite feisty. She must be close to 90 years old. I think that her mind is sharper than mine. Eva suggested to me that perhaps we as Jews should light a Yartzeit candle on Monday morning. Eva says that we would do this especially for those soldiers who do not have anyone to remember them and in gratitude for all of the soldiers who fell defending our country.

I think Eva's idea about a Yartziet candle is a fine one.

As we approach Memorial Day this Monday, may we find the way and the time to remember the sacrifice of those who died in defense of this wonderful country. May their memory and sacrifice be a blessing and an inspiration to us always!

Amen