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This week's cartoon

witches.jpg
E-mail your caption to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Hello, and welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries. I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
Wow! Shark week here at "Jokes On You" was a rousing success! There were a lot of strong entries; a feeding frenzy of clever gags. It sure made picking a winner tough. But don't take my word for it, look at the captions you submitted.
shark.jpg

WINNER
"I ATE STUPID"
Steve Carbone, Greensboro
Simple, clever. There was at least one more variation of this, but I liked the simplicity of this one. Simple captions scored big in the runners-up too.

THE RUNNERS-UP
There were several of "... and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" captions I liked, but I couldn't choose between them.

"I see dead people"
Tonya Doss, Madison

"Vote for Pedro"
Gray Amick, Greensboro
See "Napoleon Dynamite" if you don't get this one.

"Got Blood?"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"If you can read this you're probably lunch!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point
There was an illustration submitted with this one, but I thought it worked better without it.

"BE MY CHUM"
Tennie Skladanowski, Greensboro

THE REST
I only included submitted illustrations when I thought the caption didn't work without it.
1."This bite's for you."
2. "Feed me."
3. "Bite me."

Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"My grandpa went to the beach and bit a tourist.
All I got was this lousy t-shirt.
Somewhere Beach, NC"

Heath Lloyd, Reidsville

"WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
Every Friday
Sharky's Shack
PREHISTORICS ONLY!!!"

Joan Lux, Greensboro

"SMILE! Whaler Orthodontics"
"I ate the 300 pounder at Sam's Wharf"

Karen Burns, Greensboro

"Eat More Sturgeon"
C. Clifton, Kernersville

"I shouldn't have ate the whole thing."
Paul Micka, Asheboro

"Human...Tastes like Chicken"
Ted Eaves, Greensboro

"Later Jimmy's mother explained to him that 'Bite your tongue' is just an expression."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Guess My Profession"
Allan Shatterly, Burlington

"Been there, done that. Oops... ate the person in the T-shirt."
Patricia Edwards, Asheboro

"My Mom bit a man in half and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."
Charles W Hamilton, Greensboro

"Amity 1975"
"Amity School 1975"
"Will Work for Food"
"I Ate the Whole Thing!"
"Where's the Beef?"
"Red Cross - Give Blood"
"San Jose Sharks"
"Miami Dolphins"
"Davy Jones Cleaning Service"
"Event Staff"
"Peter Benchley for President"
"Professional Courtesy to Lawyers"
"I Hate School Uniforms"
"The James Dean Look"

Rob Black, High Point

"Someone went swimming in Gulf Breeze, FL...
and all I got was their lousy T-shirt"

Donna Williams, High Point

"This species is easy to identify, it's the Great White T-Shark"
Mark McGregor, Greensboro

"Don't you think these new school uniforms are too short?"
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE

"That first helping of the 'Super Glue' I found was tasty, but for some reason I just can't get my mouth set right for seconds."
Wil Courter, Greensboro

On t-shirt -- "SEA Sharkey the LONE SHARK for Quick Cash -- 3000% interest per year"
Caption at bottom of cartoon -- "Sharkey quit The School of Sharks before homophones were taught."

Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Free Bites"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"Life Guard"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"Skimboarders....
Taste great, less filling."

Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"2007
PeopleMasters Classic
Champion"

Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"GOT CHUM?"
Steve Carbone, Greensboro

"I GRADUATED LAW SCHOOL AND ALL THEY GAVE ME WAS THIS LOUSEY T-SHIRT!"
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

"I got this shirt yesterday and he was delicious."
"But no one told me it was a Formal feeding frenzy."

William Watson Purkey, Greensboro

"I'm The One Your Mother Warned You About."
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

"Go Veggie."
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

"I brake for squid."
Charles N. Rowe, Thomasville

1."MY PARENTS ATE JOE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT"
2."GO HEELS! Toes, ankles, feet, legs"
3."I EAT AT VIRGINIA BEACH"

Tennie Skladanowski, Greensboro

"Camp Yum Yum Eat 'Um Up"
Patti Hensler, Greensboro

"I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!"
Ed Hensler, Greensboro

"Tastes Like Chicken!"
Ed Hensler, Greensboro

"Winner 2007
People Eating Contest"
Coney Island, NY
12 In One Hour!"

Ed Hensler, Greensboro

"T-Shirt by day, full body bib on lobster nights!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"My parents work at Seaworld, and all I got was this crummy T-shirt!"
"My contract stipulates that there will be no nude scenes in JAWS IV."
"It's almost frenzy time, and mother insists that we dress for dinner."
"Does this T-shirt make my fin look fat?"
"No. I'm not Mack the Knife, I get that a lot: it must be the T-shirt."

Samuel Clark Whicker, Greensboro

"My dad was the star of a movie and all he brought me was this crummy t-shirt!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I was with Stupid...but I ate him."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Property of Civilization of Atlantis"
Gray Amick, Greensboro
swimlesson.jpg
"Swimming lessons
$5.00
Free"
George Subsavage, Greensboro

"OK, waiter. I'm ready for a lobster dinner."
Betty Burton, Greensboro

"Can't touch this"
Phyllis Rollins, Greensboro

Amelia Er - who?
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

mac%20knife.jpg
I (heart) MAC THE KNIFE
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden, NC

REAL SHARKS DON'T EAT QUICHE
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

nopirate.jpg
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

smilelifeguard.jpg
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
John Laughter, Summerfield

"Top of tee-shirt 'Eat at Bruces'...pix is of a box of people (like a fries box) OR a sardine can of people...with the bottom of the shirt reading 'Try our McBlubber Nuggets'"
Connor Barbour (age 12), Clayton

1. "A license plate with a red circle with a bar across it."
2. "A 'Do not enter' road sign"
3. "'Eat at Joe's' with the "at" marked through."

BL Powers, Whitsett

"Save the Manatee"
Nancy Fox

"Greenpeace"
"Save a Shark - Eat More Fishermen"
"Save a Shark - Eat More Dolphins"
"I Starred in Jaws 5 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt"

Wally Fox

"Overblown"
"Shark T-shirt Contest"

James Ferrell, McLeansville

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Comments (6)

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Your insurance will lapse in two days I couldn't
possibly diagnose you now !

Your insurance will lapse in two days I couldn't
possibly diagnose you now !

You said you could smell what ? and how far away ?

You said you could smell what ? and how far away ?

Your wife called ahead and told us whatever you told us you still weren't getting the remote back!

How can we be "rednecks" we don't have necks!

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