News-Record.com

Send you entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
Looks like last week's cartoon left you bewitched, bothered and bewildered, as we didn't get as many entries as the previous week, and the over-all quality wasn't as high. Maybe it was simply "Harry Potter" overload.
Some interesting themes: "Eye of Newt Gingrich" and at least two involved cooking cats. What's up with that?
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

WINNER

"I saw this on Rachel Ray."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
What appealed to me about this caption was that Rachel Ray is (to me anyway) just obscure enough to make it funny. I got the same entry except with "Martha Stewart" instead that, to me, didn't work because Martha Stewart is WAY too obvious a choice.

THE RUNNERS UP

"What comes after "toil and trouble?"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro
My other favorite. Very close to winning. Very close.

"This was the only prescription plan I could afford."
Jay Jarrell, High Point

"I added a little Texas Pete to give it a kick"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"The EPA should be happy, we've reduced emissions by 20% this year."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"She thinks her cat ran away, so just keep stiring."
Mike Adkin, Madison

THE REST

"It's not really chicken."
Larry Tyrell, Greensboro

"Gimmie that Ole Time Religion!"
Charles C. King, Siler City

"Shall we add the eye of newt now or wait until early November 2008?"
"Why does the church always hide us when we're stirring the Brunswick stew?"
"Leave out the California raw spinach -- it ruined our last batch!"
"We need better marketing for sales year-round, not just in October."
"Anyone else about to burn up -- or am I just getting old?"
"Stir, girls, stir -- steam opens up skin pores and makes warts fall off."
"You don't like my recipe -- too bad -- I'm Esmeralda, not Emeril."
"I'm about tired of her constantly saying a watched pot never boils."
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"I think the former Speaker of the House looks good with his new monocle, don't you?"
Ted VanHoy, Summerfield

"The more you stir it, the more it stinks,"
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"We threw in your little Toto for hair of the dog."
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"No, you canNOT use a whisk!!!"
Margaret Wrape, Greensboro

"Stop your "WITCHING" --- we all have hot flashes!!!"
Dwight Stanton, Greensboro

"Relax, I was just joking --- that's not REALLY the eye of NEWT GINGRICH!!!!"
Deborah Stanton, Greensboro

1."Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble?...Sorry it doesn’t sing."
2."So I hear you are a graduate of the Cordon Bleu."
Paul Senior, Greensboro

"...and there is no transylvainia fat in this batch"
"My ex, Igor, is in there to give the mix body"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

(1) "Needs a few more frogs and less centipedes"
(2) "This ought to help us EAT STUPID"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

"Needs more meat. Add another candidate?"
M. Cockerham, Greensboro

"Did you add a pinch of salt?"
Bob Fuller, Greensboro

"IT`S BEEN TO HOT TO THINK ABOUT HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!"
WAYNE MILLER, ASHEBORO

"Don't worry --- It is eye of newt, not eye of Newt Gingrich."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro

"That last toad had more warts that we do!"
Mike Tilley, Greensboro

"Girls, I'm leaving the coven. I bought a crockpot!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"You're first only because you're right handed!"
"I just love your new outfit!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"If this works Skip will turn white and Billy will turn black. Should be interesting..."
David Mingia, Greensboro

"SNAKE....OK....LIZARD....OK.....HEMLOCK....CHECK.....FISH FROM CHINA?..ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL SOMEBODY????"
Joe Siernos, Greensboro

"DON'T ADD ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE!!...This is for the congressional luncheon!"
Joe Siernos, Greensboro

"So you missed your broom payment. It's not like they're going to burn you at the stake!"
Ed Hensler, Greensboro

"Nevermind Viagra....Have him try this!"
Patti Hensler, Greensboro

"Were making brewster rockits space ship fuel."
Mike Adkin, Madison

"I added some chicken soup for your cold."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"Are you sure this is the Brunswick Stew recipe?"
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"C'mon, just smile!"
Violet Finger, Sapulpa,Ok.

"Hillary gave me the recipe."
Ruth Long, Greensboro

"We've rehearsed this enough to be cast in Macbeth in High Point."
"Three many cooks spoil the broth."
"Let's move to Eastwick and show them how it's really done."
"That Shakespeare dude got us stereotyped."
"Our uniforms are politically correct if we call it standard mode of dress."
Max Harless, High Point

"After Fluffy died and the taxidermist didn't show, I thought, 'well, why not?'"
Linda Satterfield, Greensboro

"All natural ingredients."
Norman Welker, Greensboro

"Do you think this brew will qualify us for the food network?"
E. Klostermyer, Asheboro

"Trust me. This new Chinese recipe will knock them off their feet."
Steve Dixon, Trinity

"A little eye of Gingrich."
Jack Harrington, Greensboro

"I got this recipe from Martha Stewart."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Do you know how hard it is to find low fat eye of newt???"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Adding a drive-thru was the best idea you ever had Pandora."
"Remember to wash your stir sticks, we can't survive another 63.5 sanitation grade."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"The EPA should be happy, we've reduced emissions by 20% this year."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"This brew should be fantastic - I used organic Eye of Newt."
Mark Rebeck, Browns Summit

"Ok Hazel, time to add your favorite body part."
Wally Fox, Greensboro

"It's OK, my dentist made me an extra pair."
"New recipe: Three husband stew."
Lynda Haskins, Greensboro

"Smoking 'pot.'"
Aileen M. Jones, Greensboro