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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

I blame myself. This week's cartoon was too specific with not a lot of room for interpretation. The upshot? Well over 100 entries all within spitting distance of each other themematically. "Buzz off," "Don't call me honey," "Who was that flower you were with," etc., pretty much sums up 99 percent of this week's entries. And the flower/bee related puns! I was up to my antenna in them! (See? Now I'M doing it!)
And is it just me, or do a few of these just sound dirty?

WINNER
"I hope you have protection!"
Cee Duncank, Greensboro
The only one with this theme. Clever and short, an unbeatable combo.

RUNNERS UP
"And just WHOSE pollen is that on your thorax, mister?"
Scott Romine, Greensboro
I like this variation on the "lipstick on the collar" theme.

"So, I hear you told all the guys back at the hive that I was easy!"
Des Laffan, Summerfield
There were a few more with similar gags, but I thought this one worked best.

"What do you mean you have allergies!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman
I don't know. I just liked the idea of a bee having allergies.

"You didn't think I would remember. Well, I am a perennial!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
I thought this was clever.

"So, what's this I hear about you and the birds !"
Billy Guynn , Greensboro
The "birds and the bees" theme. Good, but just a wee bit obscure.

THE REST
"You keep buzzing around that new orchid down the street and you'll be pushing up daisies!"
"I have been trying all spring to pollinate and you stay late at the hive."
"Do I look like I'm in the mood?"
Rick Stanco, Jamestown
I liked the 2nd one because my wife and I had trouble conceiving and I know where the flower is coming from. The third one was a contender for runner-up.

"Oh no you don't!! I just had a facial!"
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

"Hey, buzz off, Buster, this is not an "All You CARE To Eat" eatery!"
Allen Covington, Stoney Creek

"Wait a minute, Buster, under the terms of our contract, you only get one serving per person in a forty-eight hour work week"
J. Milton Covington, Stoney Creek

"Don't even think about it!"
Judy Melanson, Reidsville

"If you do that in my face one more time, we're through!"
Micah Massei, Greensboro

"Not tonight! I have a headache!"
Elizabeth Edmonds, Greensboro
An OK punchline, just too many entries with this theme.

"You have been visiting Rose again, haven't you?"
Sandra Wilson, Lexington

"Touch me and I cry 'RAPE!'"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"What makes you think I'm THAT kinda girl?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Who's Daisy?"
Ken Miller, Jamestown

"Not with my pollen, you don't !!!!"
Mike Parker, greensboro

"Don't you come buzzing over to me now! I saw what you were doing"
with that petunia!"
Des Laffan, Summerfield

"Oh no you don't, not without buying me dinner."
"Don't give me that wide-eyed innocent look, I saw you buzzing around those other Daisies!"
Doris Clapp, Julian

"Don't give me that wide-eyed innocent look, I saw you buzzing around Rose and Violet!"
Doris Clapp, Julian

"I SAID, NOT ON THE FIRST DATE!"
Paulette Swearengin

"Don't call me your 'honey'"
Hal Koger, McLeansville

"Don't Honey Me."
David Clark, Brown Summit

"Don't show up here with rotten elderberry on your breath!"
"I SAID I'm not in the mood for pollinating today!"
"You're misquoting Robert Herrick when you say 'Pollinate ye rosebuds while ye may.'"
"Buzz off, I'm not in the mood!"
"Keep your pollinating in your own neighborhood."
"Drunk on nectar huh? That's no excuse for FWI."
"You're not WORKING like a busy bee -- you're just a FLOWERIZER!"
"Grandma Daisy warned me about bees like you!"
"I know I called you "honey bee" -- but it didn't MEAN anything!"
"Buzz, buzz, buzz -- why can't you just TALK to me!"
Joan Lux, Greensboro
I liked the term "flowerizer." Perhaps if that was part of a shorter caption ...

"How dare you come in here smelling of Rose nectar!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

1. "What do you mean you've been out cross pollinating?"
2. "Don't you 'Honey' me!"
Tennie Skladanowski, Greensboro

"I'm really tired of you kissing up to me!"
"All you ever do is kiss and run."
"The buzz around here is that I'm not your only flower."
"Buzz off, you can't afford my nectar!"
Harold Shelton

"Not now, I have a petal ache!"
Phil Valla, Greensboro

"Don't EVEN think of feeling me up, buster!"
Suzanne Thompson, Reidsville
... "feeling me up" ... ?

"WHAT were you doing in the pedals of another flower?!?!"
Rachel Earnhardt, Greensboro

"Don't you look at me that way! I SAW you all over that other flower!"
Rachel Earnhardt, Greensboro

"I knew it, I just fixed my makeup"
Marlene Barlow

"Don't Daisy me! I've seen you with Rose, Petunia and Buttercup!"
Walt Moyer, Graham

"Have you been out pollinating again!"
"Dont honey me!"
"Take your work elsewhere!"
"For a worker bee you sure fall short of the mark!"
"I am sick of you petal -rs!"
"You have been at the hive with the boys again havent you?!"
"Lets face it Iam grounded and you are not."
"'Bee'" straight with me, who is Iris?!"
"I am not the pollen under your feet!"
"The queen sent you out to do what!?"
"Isnt once a day enough for you bees?"
"Wipe your feelers and feet off somewhere else!"
"The garderner works me over and now you show up!"
"I know you dont work at night!"
"There is more to life than buzzing from flower to flower!"
"Quit singing the 'Circle of Life!'"
Your such a pest...Buzz Off!!"
Your feet tickle, you take to much and what do I get?!"
Do not even tell me you left the stinger behind again!"
So am I just another flower to make sweet honey with?"
Can't you boys give it a rest!"
I am not your keeper!"
I really am beginning to look forward to the Fall!!"
Thanks for reading!"
The Iris warned me about you!"
Must you constantly hum and buzz about!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"It's the BIRDS and the bees, not the flowers and the bees!"
Larry Sigmon, Greensboro

"Hey, you'd be moody too if this was the only way you got fertilized!"
Melanie Carroll, Kernersville

"Did you tell your friends about us?!"
"Let's "bee" responsible here!"
"Do not tell me your on another 'quest.'"
"Tiny Tim tiptoed with the Tulips too!!"
"Dump some of that disgusting cargo before you land on this delicate bloom!"
"Your not the only bee in the hive!"
"Why do you always visit the Rose and the daffodil first!"
"The butterfly told me to "bee" wary of you!"
"You like my smell?!!"
"Do all you bees have flower issues?!"
"Your bugging me!"
"Your work requires what of you!??"
"Christine Keaton, Randleman

"The hive is not full so go back home!!"
"The line " You have the sweetest nectar!" is really getting old!"
"I think the gardener needs to spray a little most buzz off around here!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"What are you insinuating by the statement the birds and the bees the flower....."
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I told you who I see is none of your bee's wax!!"
"You have been hitting the honey comb again haven't you!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Yes, I danced with the wind, was kissed by the sun, and made the dew sparkle, but you have been bizzzy too!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"No, you cannot come in for a landing!"
"Quit making flowery speeches and stinging remarks!"
"The queen sure scraped the bottom of the hive if she chose you to be her king!"
"Of all the flowers in this field why do you insist on bothering me?"
"..and why would I believe you were working in the nursery all day! You have pollen on your wings!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I just want to know do bees have knees!?"
"Your eyes are like faceted windows and I want them focused on me!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Only you males drone on. Goes to show why the Queen rules!"
"Humans cultivate, share look for and love me! All they care about with you is your by products!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I TOLD you I'd slap that smile off your face if you came at me again!"
Mylinda C. Paschal, Greensboro

"You're not getting any more. Buzz off!"
"'Sweetee' and 'Honeybritches' aint gonna work any more!"
"I told you ONLY TEN TIMES A DAY!"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"What part of I'M OUT don't you understand?"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"Warning! You are in a no more nectar zone!!"
"You are nothing but a bumbler!"
Christine Keaton

"You will never bumble another facial on me again!!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1. "My problems all stem from you!"
2. "I see I am not the only one who was given miracle grow!"
3. "My families roots are much deeper than yours!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Don't you 'Honey' me!"
David Ray, Greensboro

Buzz off, you nectar-sucking vampire!"
Harold Cotton, High Point

"Don't look at me that way! I saw you pollinating with Lilly yesterday."
Gretchen Bilhardt, Greensboro

"I like men in stripes you are drawn to different sweet scents. So where do we go from here?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I don't do that on the first date!"
Cee Duncan, Greensboro

"Buzz off. I have a headache!"
Linda Hancock, Greensboro

"Don't lie to me! I can SEE Pansy Pollen on your shoulder and you reek of roses!"
"Where have you been? Leaving the Hive like that....scientists' EVERYWHERE are looking for you!"
Ric Hase
I liked the current-events theme of the missing bees. A contender for runner-up, but I'm afraid it may be a bit too obscure to most readers.

"I'm not a bird you Moron!!!"
Kimberly Goff, Greensboro

"Just buzz on by, Don Juan!"
Heli Benson, Greensboro

1. "Of course I know about the birds and the bees...what is your version?!"
2. "No, it goes; float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!!"
3. "You think Iam potted? The Green Hornet is not your cousin!!!!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Get busy somewhere else!"
"A little honey in return would be appreciated!"
"There will be no pollen unless you bee-have"
"Tell your queen -No more free pollen!"
" A spelling bee? I don't think so!"
"You are no killer bee!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1. "Buzz off, Buster! I saw you with that floozy next door"
2. "Don't you "honey" me!"
3. "I dare you to stick that thing in me!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

1. "It's called PMS and I suggest you go learn all about it!"
2. "Buzz off bumblebutt. My boyfriend's planning to try pollination!"
3. "Exactly which bee said I needed deoderant?"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
I kinda liked the PMS one.

"Don't you even think about touching MY face!"
Audrey Mangum, Greensboro

"Pollinating, that's all you think about!"
Clay Brewington, Kernersville

"Buzz off!!!"
Patricia Wisneski, Greensboro

"Back off, buddy!!! I've got a pistil!!"
"Don't make me shoot you with my pistil!!"
"Whaddya mean I look like a pansy??!!"
"Pollen? Pollen?!!! I don't need no stinkin' pollen!!"
Patricia Wisneski, Greensboro
I liked the pistil angle. This made the short list.
Also, anytime you can work in a quote from "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" is a good thing.

"YOUR FREE LUNCH IS OVER BUSTER!!!"
Cassandra Wardlow,Greensboro

"Sue Bee is a Honey!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Since when did you become a sewing bee?!"
"A skin and lip care bee called Burt.. Who's waxed out idea was that?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman
Pace yourself, Christine. Save some for next week.

1. "At last! Somebody I can open up to."
2. "Buzz off!"
Greg Deal, Greensboro

1. "Quick! Go tell Rose her new friend Ivy is poison."
2. "Don't come near me with that pollen, the last batch tasted like garlic."
3. "Don't come too close, I haven't had a shower in 3 weeks."
4. "Get rid of the chewing tobacco before you come an inch closer."
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"Pollen my petal, like I haven't heard that line before!"
Tricia Brassel, High Point

"Don't give my that 'honey' business. I know you've been with Lily of the Valley."
William W. Purkey, Greensboro

Don't 'Honey' me, you louse. I know you've been buzzing around that Lily of the Valley.
William W. Purkey, Greensboro

"So, I guess you buzzed over to Daisy's again!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"On our first date? I don't think so!!!"
"Oh, buzz off."
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"Mother was right about you. All you ever do is take, take, take. You never give!"
Paul J. Klosterman, High Point

"Don't look so innocent. I saw you with that dandelion."
Bettie Rowe

"BUZZ OFF"
Joe Richey Greensboro

"I know your type: pollinate and evacuate."
William Watson Purkey, Greensboro

"How many times have I told you....'Don't come home a-drinkin' with lovin' on your mind.'"
Judie Wood, greensboro

Hey buzz boy! Are you getting your nectar from someone else now??????
Charles L. White, Jamestown

"You are too late
for our date.
Now, you must wait
to pollinate!!!!"
Scott Goff

"Don't give me that pollination look, you old beezer."
David Jones, Greensboro

1. "Hold on there mister! We don't serve your type around here. Now, beat it, Killer!"
2. "Whoa big fellow! Tell your queen I want better service from now on. And don't try to pull that disappearing act again!"
3. "You look surprised. Didn't know a flower could talk, did you?"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"THIS GOING FROM FLOWER TO FLOWER TO FLOWER HAS GOTTA STOP !!!!!"
Mike Parker, Greensboro

"Don't Honey me! I saw You buzzing all over that Rose again."
Dave Derence

"You want to do what?!?! Who do you think I am, a blooming idiot?!"
Mary Elizabeth Claywell, Gibsonville

"Don't you 'Honey' me!"
"Don't you 'but Honey' me!"
David Ray, Greensboro

"Buzz off, shortie"
"Quit trying to pollinate me, fly to some other pretty bloomers!"
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"Don't come buzzing around me - I just saw you with that Pansy."
Jerry Owens, Summerfield

"No more pollen till you make a sound committment."
Jerry Owens, Summerfield

"Excuse me, I'm not your honey!"
"Hey, don't call me honey!!"
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville

1. "Is that your picture on the can of tuna?"
2. "Can you hum Flight of the Bumblebee?"
3. "If you hum Flight of the Bumblebee one more time I'm going to scream!"
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"Where have you been? Supper was ready an hour ago."
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden
I liked the incongruity of this line.

1. "Excuse me but didn't I just see you over there with Daisy!"
2. "Look mister I'm not the only flower out here."
3. "Don't even think about it!"
4. "I thought I told you not to come around here again."
Cindi Holton, Randleman

SNAIL MAIL
"How dare you call me honey."
"Don't even think about it."
Peggy Brookshire, Randleman

"Yea, yea, that's what you all say. Until you get back to the hive."
Tom Padrick, Asheboro

"Where have YOU been?"
Barbara Vestal, Greensboro

"Don't even think about it!"
Barbara Vestal, Greensboro

"Only in your dreams!"
Norman Welker, Greensboro

"No nectar for you. We haven't been properly introduced."
"What's the latest buzz about pollen transfer?"
Max Harless, High Point

"I'm not your honey!"
"Go away! I don't know where your stinger's been!"
"I'm not falling for this anymore! You're not a secret agent and this is not a sting!"
"I'm not going to tolerate your cross-pollinating any longer!"
Kris Voy, Trinity