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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

I have received some feed back that indicated I did not recieve some entries, although everything seemed fine on the sender's end. If you sent an entry in, but do not see it listed below, please post a message to this blog indicating so, and I'll see if I can chase down the problem.

In space, no one can hear you giggle. Which is too bad because your entries this week were out of this world! Seriously, a lot of clever gags. Many deserving entries got "Pluto'd" during the astronomical task of narrowing them down to five. Despite my choice for winner, I decided not to use other Uranus and gas related jokes --- funny though they were --- to try to keep this as G-rated as possible. But don't worry, they have their own special place on this blog.

WINNER
"It's not fair, you get a car named after you and I get an orifice."
Phil Valla, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
"We need to ask for directions, we are just going in circles."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Of course I'm still attracted to you, Gladys, but I need more space."
Scott Romine, Greensboro

"Hey, how much did that ring set you back?"
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"I hope one day to become a star."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"How long have you been engaged?"
Carolyn Mitchell, Greensboro

PG-13 JOKES
A lot of these could have been contenders had I not decided to limit them to one (the winner)

"Aww Mom, Do I have to play with him? Do you know how bad Uranus smells?"
Tim James, Ruffin

"Mom, I'm tired of living next to Uranus."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Honest, Mom. It was Freddy that mooned them, not me!"
Charlene McClure, Greensboro

"Dad, is that bad smell coming from Jupiter or Uranus?"
"Dad, do I have to orbit so close to Uranus?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Why do you pass so many gases?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Now that I have asteroids, it hurts to 'go' into orbit."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"If you think you have a bad gas problem, you should talk to Jupiter!"
Alex Procton, Greensboro

I can give you something for that gas.
Wally Fox, Greensboro.

"You need to see your asstrologist immediately."
Percy Walker

"What do they mean by rings of your an us?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I saw the comet streaking, so I mooned him."
Scott Romine, Greensboro

SPECIAL "THEY REALLY DID THEIR HOMEWORK" CATEGORY
"I don't care what you say, Pluto's one of us!"
Micah Massei, Greensboro

"Did you hear what they did to Pluto?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"Hi, I'm Pluto. Need a moon??"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Daddy, will they kick me out of the Solar System 'cause I'm small? Pluto said they would."
"Daddy, Pluto said they're gonna kick me out of the Solar System because I'm small!!!"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"No Titan, you are not a Dwarf Planet. You're a moon. Don't listen to Pluto."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"You can get it with the rings, a moonroof, an escape velocity of zero to sixty and it comes with it's own natural satellites. And you can drive it home today. So, you ready to sign??"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Yes, son, I Know that you are larger than Pluto, but you can't just swing out into ninth position!!"
"Yes, son, I Know that you are larger than Pluto, but you can't just swing out into ninth position!! But I admit that 'The Planet Titan' sounds good!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
(Titan, a moon of Saturn, Is larger than Pluto, FYI)

"Mom, Ganymede is going to swing by this afternoon and we're gonna hang out, OK?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
(Ganymede is a moon of Jupiter, FYI)

"Dad, how do you know you're not going to be downsized like Pluto??"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

THE REST

1. "I used to have ring around the collar too. I took a meteor shower and it washed right out"
2. "Wow! What kind of acne medicine are you using?"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"Mom, why doesn't Dad wear a wedding ring, too?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"So, this means you're engaged now?
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"What a blunder--The engineers forgot to build on and off ramps for your by-pass!"
Glenda Layton, Carthage
I liked the originality of this one. A contender.

"Don't worry, in a few billion years you won't be able to notice it."
"You can get a shot for that."
"That's the greatest mustache I have ever seen."
Joel Clark, Greensboro
I liked the mustache one. Once again, very original.

"WE'VE BEEN GOING AROUND TOGETHER FOR SO LONG THAT PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO TALK......"
WIL COURTER, Greensboro

"I HATE TO OFFEND, BUY YOU REALLY DO HAVE RING AROUND THE COLLAR."
WIL COURTER, Greensboro

1. "If shooting stars are so lucky why do they die?"
2. "Why do young stars burn out?"
3. "I know about the sun, moon, and stars....but who is Clover?"
4. "Why do stars shoot about the universe?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Are you my Mother?"
Linda Deese, Greensboro

"I thought you said we couldn't afford a ring yet!"
Chris Myott, Eden
I liked this one, but there were too many "ring" variations.

#1 "What can I wear to keep the sun out of my eyes?"
#2 "If I can't have a ring, how about a pair of sun glasses?"
George Subasavage, Greensboro

"so, how long are you going to be under house arrest?"
Lynne Edel, Greensboro

"So you're telling me that you'd rather have these nasty craters?"
Alex Procton, Greensboro

"No, I don't think it makes you look fat."
Don Hodge, Sandy Ridge
Nice, but there are too many others with this variation

1) "Can you come out and play?"
2) "You and your fancy rings!"
3) "Hey! What's going on in your world?"
4) "How do I get through to you?"
5) "You make my head spin!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

"So Paris, how long are you on house arrest?"
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

Well it does look better than the square one.
Bill Brown, Whitsett

I thought those went out of style last eon!
W.F. Brown, Stoney Creek
Cute

"No, really, those rings don't make you look fat."
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville
Nice, but there are too many others with this variation

"Does this make me look fat?"
Scott Weaver, Greensboro
See what I mean?

"Wow, Saturn, where did you get the nifty Hula Hoop?"
"Did you know that you were named after an automobile?"
William Watson Purkey, Greensboro

"Wow - congratulations! How did he pop the question?"
David Hammer, Greensboro
Another good entry in a category that had too many.

"Why do I always has to come in before dark?"
"I am tire of following you around."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"Wow, what big rings you have!"
Cindi Holton

"One day, I'll have a ring bigger than that."
Margie Ellngton, Reidsville

1. "Ring around the planet!"
2. "I like your spin cycle.
3. "Peek-a-boo."
George Cornett, Greensboro

1. "Mommie, why is the sky black?"
2. "Hey babe, you wanna go trip the light fantastic with me?"
3. "When are we going to move to another galaxy far far away?"
4. "I think I just saw the Starship Enterprise!"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
I kinda liked the variation on the "why is the sky blue" question

1) "But Mom, you have rings, so why can't I?"
2) "Come on sweetheart, you aren't going to let a little comet come between us?"
3) "You just have to show off with all your colorful rings, don't you?"
4) "Why is it that they only run rings around you?"
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

"Are you the Man in the Moon?"
"What happened to the top of your hat?"
Bob Fuller, Greensboro
I liked the "top of the hat one." Very original.

Madge, I see you've put on a little weight around the middle.
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro

"Frankly, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."
Scott Romine, Greensboro
Clever

"Wish you could speak. I need directions to the Milky Way."
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

"Mom, when can I get my rings?"
Carol Ann LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Ohhh! So close! I think better wording would have been "... when WILL I get my rings" It would make it sound more like a mother-daughter talk about development.

"Hey, I told you I would stop, so why did you take my ring away?"
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

1. Mister, could I have my Hula-Hoop back now?
2. You've got ring around the collar.
3. I've seen ring around the collar, but this is ridiculous.
4. That is some engagement ring!
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"Whaddya mean that only males get rings, Daddy??"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

I haven't seen a circle like that since the Indians circled Custer
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

1. So that's what happens when you turn 3 billion!
3. I refuse to call you Lord.
Wally Fox, Greensboro.

"Cool visor, Dude."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
Clever.

1. "See ya next go 'round."
2. "Well, I'm outta this space."
3. "Don't worry. Be happy."
4. "After all this time, I'm leaving."
5. "I am nameless. What's yours?"
Michael Harris, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"What? Life doesn't revolve around me?"
"Doughnuts go straight to your middle!"
"You can't hide your age, Mom. Teachers say you just have to count the rings!"
"I hope you don't have a heart attack. You're carrying a little extra around the middle!"
"What do you mean I gravitate toward the wrong friends?"
"You're so sensitive about your age and weight!"
"All my friends live in the cool galaxy!"
"I can't stay attached to your apron strings forever!"
" I know ... you've been around the block a few more times than me, right?"
"Life doesn't revolve around me, but some things do!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
I really liked the doughnuts one.

"Very impressive! Handling so many hula hoops!"
"You sure make a big deal about your equator."
Max Harless, High Point

"Are we there, yet?"
Norman Welker, Greensboro