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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

I didn't get the winner's entry this week. I had to take a second look at the cartoon. Then I got it. And it was the only one that actually made me laugh. So, It made the cut above some strong contenders in the runner-ups. Some advice: Keep captions as short as possible. Some potentially good captions got bogged down with too many words. And word repetition like "Ray" and "Ray" can be distracting in what is otherwise a good caption. (I'm talking to you, Ken.)
Also, I found it interesting that no less than three entries refered to the cable-TV show "Dirty Jobs."

WINNER
"Junior! Quit standing in front of the TV!"
George Cornett, Greensboro

THE RUNNER-UPS
"'Desperate House Flies,' my favorite show"
Frank Beamon, Greensboro
A VERY close second.

"Hey, Ma, Uncle Ray's on TV again. He's landed on one of Rachel Ray's pies!"
Ken Layton, Carthage
How 'bout "Uncle Bob" ... ?

"Scientists today reported they have figured out what killed off the humans 65 million years ago..."
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

"You are now watching the picnic channel."
Mike Adkins Madison
I just liked the simplicity of this one

THE REST
"Welcome to 'Dung Balls!' Today focus is on horse manure."
"Looking for a mate before it's too late? Log on to Flymate.bug."
"Please help those whose wings have been ripped off by donating to 'Flies who cannot Fly.'"
"And now we return to the 'Lord of the Flies' marathon."
"At 'Fly Survival' school you will learn how to avoid the swatter, the tell tale signs of fly paper and more."
"Looking for a quick bite? When then fly over the nearist Dumpster Dive. I new menu every day!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"I hope Rachel Ray leaves that pie on the counter a little longer."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Next on Fox-8, Shannon Snith with low-cost ways to send your little maggot to the garbage heap in style."
Trish Tesh, Oak Ridge
I liked the local angle on this one

"Honey... if you don't hurry up and get the maggots to bed...you're going to miss American Fly-dol."
Mac Lane, High Point
This made my short-list

1. "Days of Our Lives" ?? It is like seconds when my family hits a table!
2. "The Omen" Must be the human version of "Raid!"
3. "Dirty Jobs" Looks like a slice of heaven to me!
4. "Swat"? How can they be so cold?
5. "I would like to see Chuck Norris try those moves on a pest strip!
6. "I wonder why the Food Network had a problem with me hosting a food show?
7. "Jeff Goldbloom sure is "Fly"
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Well. she looks human, but her name's Ant Bee. She must be one of us!"
Samuel Clark Whicker, Greensboro

"This week on crappy jobs"
No name or city given

"Buzzzz....I don't know what the big deal is about global warming ... Buzzzzz."
"Help Martha! I'm being drawn towards the light!"
Rosemary Keever, High Point

"TV just humans me!"
No name or city given

"They need me to show them how to dine on food.''
"My favorite, The Food Channel."
"Man, I got to get out of this chair and fly more."
"This tv reminds me of my blocked headed cousin"
"Gosh! That steak looks good in HDTV."
"I get better reception than that!"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"I love my InsecTV."
"I need a Lazybug recliner."
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro
Hmmm ... "Lazybug recliner" ... cute.

"There has been a terrible murder as yet another helpless fly has gotten splattered against a passing doughnut truck. Find out more tonight at eight after "Are You Smarter Than a Cockroach."
Stephanie Latta, Melbourne
Melbourne?

1) "In College Flyball, the Appalachian State Mountainfleas swatted the Michigan Wolverwasps 34-32."
2) "Don't let a human use a fogger on you. New Fly Protector masks allows you to escape when others can't. Fly Protector. An SC Johnson Company."
3) "We will return to our horror film, 30 Seconds of Raid, after this short commercial break."
4) "The legislature will try to overturn Governor Fleasley's veto of an economic incentive package..."
5) "And God made fly in His image..."
6) "Quit staring at that TV all day or you'll go human-eyed!"
7) "Stop humaning me!"
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

"Even I wouldn't touch some of the crap they call comedy these days!!!"
Ann Holder, Pleasant Garden
You and me both!

The fly is watching the movie "The Man."
Phil Valla

1. "I hate, hate, hate those Raid commercials!" Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
2. "Honey bring some more refuse, the movie is starting."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
The second one made my short list.

(1) "These Presidential candidate debates drive me buggy."
(2) "Does Geicho want us to believe that geckos really can talk?"
(3) "Are we related? We have similar "ears".
(4) "TV Commercials with roaches make my hair stand up."
(5) "Talking animal commercials drive me buggy."
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

1. "Raid, Ortho, Terminex... Commercials are terrifying!!
2. "YIKES!! So that is Dung Beetles food source!
3. "Whats this? Clips of Jimmy The Superfly Snooka??... On Smackdown?!
Christine Keaton

"Please enjoy tonights episode of Mr. Ed the talking horse fly."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"Doctor Phil's subject today: 'arachnid phobia' ... How to overcome your fear of spiders!"
"Breaking News! ... Terminex man surrounded by a swarm of irate termites! ... Swat team called in!"
"News Flash ... Swarms of crazed flies riot at site of overturned garbage truck!"
"Today the United Nations voted to ban all insecticides as WMD'S!"
"The city dump was rated 5 stars ... Complements of Maggot Magazine."
"Today ... The food and bug association re-called all fresh food."
Joe Siernos, Greensboro

"I can't watch National Geographic while dad's eaten by that Lizard"
Nancy Brown, Greensboro
I kinda liked this one too.

"Now the size of a human, this fly has spent the last two days eating from a garbage can at Barry Bonds house.
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Clever

"The fly is watching the movie, "Guess who's coming to dinner."
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"Coming up next, it's "Mister Ed", the talking horse fly."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"Well, that's a buzz killer! Who knew the WASP network meant White Anglo-Saxon Protestants?"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"Four drones and a queen were killed today in an abandoned apartment on 42nd street. No motive was given. Now onto some lighter news ..."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"The ALL-BUG network proudly presents, “Wish I was a Human on the Floor"
Greg Deal, Greensboro

"Oh boy! CSI's Carcass Special ..."
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"Oh Boy! CSI ... I LOVE family reunions!"
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"I sure do miss the Charlotte Hornets ..."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

The bug/fly is watching:
"Insects in the City"
"'My Favorite Martian' in HD"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"'A Bug's Life' will be right back after a word from our sponsor, American Express. Don't leave your hive without it!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"And now back to the Sweet & the Wonderful where Bee is crying softly as her lover bids her goodbye."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Now place your hands on your hips bending your bee's knees as far down as possible while ..."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Now Ladies, add a pinch of salt placing the pork chop carefully on top of the cooked cabbage and carrots."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"And here they come racing down the track and out in front, leading the pack is Gorgeous Bee, the winner of last week's derby."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Aunt Bee looks quite lovely with her hair styled in a beehive, wearing a yellow jacket from Vera Wing's new bridal collection. The audience is abuzz!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

1. "I hate these Geico commercials.
2. "A duck sells insurance, I could sell insecticide, oops! Maybe not.
3. "If they stopped these commercials they could save us 60% on our car insurance.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"Yes I can see you just took your Viagra but please move away from the TV so I can watch the end of "The Sting."
Stan Dymek, Greensboro
A similar concept as the winner, but the winner was first, and here is a case when less would have been more

"...News just in...The city has been invaded by giant flies!"
Jennifer Dymek, Greensboro
Another short-list entry

"This is great! Appalachian State beats Michigan each time I watch this game!"
Cindi Holton, Randleman

"Try Raid-People Repellent, kills on contact."
"And now back to the finals of the cow pie toss on ESPN."
"And now back to Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe still up to his ankles in poo."
Wally Fox, Burlington

"Why did they name the zipper on a man's pants after me?"
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"If I see one more Chase Commercial Im going to BUZZZZZZZZZ!"
"Time to watch the best movie in the world THE FLY!"
"If I see One More raid commercial I am going to kick that flat screen in!"
"How stupid can those birds be on that windex commercial?"
"Those documentaries on unclean restaurants make me home sick."
"Hey! there's cousin randy on that crazy chef show, he always said that he would make it big one day."
Team Walter
The last one had potential in the same way as the "Rachel Ray" runner-up, but didn't set up the situation as well.

"I just love that Jeff Goldblum."
David Downing, Greensboro
FYI, Jeff Goldblum starred in the remake of "The Fly"

SNAIL MAIL
"I've never understood the human yearning to explore unknown planets. I'm happy just to land on something unsavory in the dog pen."
"All these food commercials don't tempt me! I like the already been digested kind!"
"Dirty jobs with Mike Rowe! Now that's my kind of man!"
"Dr. Phil thinks he has these nuts figured out? He hasn't been on their wall for the past week!"
Kris Voy, Trinity

"I have cable. Those rabbit ears are there just to match the antennae on my head."
"I get a buzz out of watching a spelling bee."
"We Queen Bees don't need a remote; the worker bees change our channels for us."
Max harless, High Point

"I hate these Raid commercials."
David Whittington, Greensboro

"Let's exchange antennaes and get a clear picture."
David Whittington, Greensboro

"I watch baseball to see flies, not Grasshopper violence!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro