THIS WEEK'S CARTOON
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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.
LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.
Cavemen again. I love cavemen. I'd do a caveman drawing every week if I could. In fact, I made an unsuccessful attempt at syndicating a caveman strip several years back (It appears "B.C." has that market sewn up.) Last time I did a caveman drawing for J.O.Y. (cavemen watching TV) I got some pretty good responses. So I did it again and ... I got some pretty good responses. Apparently you like cavemen, too. Here are a few of our favorites.
WINNER
"Reruns again...We gotta get cable"
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro
THE RUNNERS-UP
"Look Oogie, I was so skinny then."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
I recieved several variations of this, but I just liked the wording of this one
"Ogg love new HD screen!"
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro
"Now that's lousy reporting. I was there. It didn't happen that way."
No name or address given
You want it moved to the dining room?
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden
"Gee, that's a nice picture of your Mom and Dad"
Louis Tellez
"Vegas is giving 2:1 odds on the Wooley."
David Downing, Greensboro
THE REST
"Ah. Remember the good old days when I drug you to my cave by your long hair?"
Tim Pegram, Oak Ridge
"Bob is camera hog."
"Bob is in every picture. Wall hog."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
"The Animal Channel....again"
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro
"Now I'll have to re-paint the whole d---ed wall!"
"Just take the crayons away from the kid, Ma."
"A Michaelangelo he ain't!"
"Well, we won't have to put this one on the refrigerator."
Ken Layton, Carthage
"Don't you think the ads for this years rodeo have gone up a bit early??"
"Great ad for this year's rodeo!"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro
"I think it makes me look fat."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
"But what if it's not so easily intimidated?"
No name given
"Actually, this one was taken just seconds before the mammoth charged. It 's the last one we have of Great-grandad."
Trudy Davis, Greensboro
"Next I'll draw the little woman cooking it."
"I'm really enjoying my subscription to "Field and Stream."
"Thousands of years from now I'll be appreciated as an artist."
"It's not doodling--it's our family history."
"I'm tired of waiting for a forest fire to get more charcoal sticks."
"Great menu at this organic restaurant.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Nobody but a caveman can do this."
Charles Rowe, Thomasville
"I'm glad this restaurant posted their menu on the cave wall."
"A hard winter makes everyone look like a stick figure."
"Next I'll draw you in your animal skin."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"If only they had recalled those lead spears sooner."
Holly Montgomery, Greensboro
"Honey, let's scratch that wheel idea...I'm thinking something like a protective cup"
Jennifer Popal, Greensboro
"The first recorded 'Honey Do List'"
Diane Conterno-Neese, High Point
I loved this idea. However, the caveman in the drawing is clearly talking, so this would have worked better if it was worked into a sentence the caveman was saying.
"The drawing's fine... It's his technique that's all wrong!!
That's what's wrong with kids today -- Too much chalking... and not enough time stalking!!!"
No name given
"I still believe in creation."
Bill Lawson, Stoneville
1. "This picture goes with the cave."
2. "Sadly, the artist was without vision......quite literally!"
Christine Keaton, Randleman
1. "What do you mean my artwork is primitive!?"
Christine Keaton, Randleman
Cute
"Sweetheart, think the animal activist will be upset when they see this picture. . . 350,000 years from now?"
Tanya Florence, Brown Summit
1. "Your overcooked meat made a great carving tool!!"
2. "Couldn't you have exagerrated on the Mamoths size ??"
Christine Keaton, Randleman
"At least we give the animals a fair chance!"
Joan Hunt, Greensboro
"He's the new Geico salesman."
Ken Hunt, Greensboro
"I know he's just a kid, but he's got to remember which wall to write on!"
Paul Smith, Asheboro
"It's Bush's fault"
Philman Lee, Greensboro
1) "I call this 'Ugh's Last Stand'"
2) "This funeral bulletin for Urg. He die bravely."
3) "Lucy was quite a hunter!"
4) "OK, you win. We send Ogg Jr. to therapist."
5) "It's good, but I never said I was as large as the mammoth!"
6) "This is the game-winner from the state finals. I was on my game that day."
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro
"They had such freedom hunting bare... "
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro
1) "Is this only channel we get?"
2) "Ogg love watching SportsCenter"
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro
"It's your brother...I thought he didn't eat meat?"
Lorraine Hanks, Greensboro
"I wonder how long it'll take Geico to get a new ad campaign."
"I was wondering what happened to Dave."
"Ahh..he's not so special. It's not like he invented the wheel!"
"There has to be a better way get immortalized."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
The Geiko one is kinda clever ...
"This will never be obsolete. The whole writing thing won't catch on."
"I drew this just goofing around. It is not to be taken literally."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
"This RockDonalds has got to get a bigger menu!!"
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro
"Jeez! how is possible that britteny spears is on every channel?"
stacey phifer
This one amused me, but didn't score as high with other judges.
1. "I'ld like to see Geiko try that!"
2. "No more ochre for the kids!"
3. "My art work is so crude."
4. "Ah, our first mammoth comforter."
5. "Our family album sure is brief."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro
Number 5 is cute
1. "Look, our son went to the hunt."
2. "Guess what's for dinner?"
3. "Hey, we got cave mail."
George Cornett, Greensboro
I kinda liked the cave-mail one.
1) "Personally, I'm in the mood for chicken".
2) "It's your turn to do dinner".
3) "OK, tonight Chinese".
4) "Please make Junior stop drawing on the wall!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro
"This is the last & only picture of Uncle Harry".
Bob Fuller, Greensboro
* "Show has Uncle Ugh started his ribs business
* "I've copyrighted this design"
* "Not my ancestors. They were all left-handed cowards"
* "We need to fire our interior decorator"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
"Unk's kill could be the Play of the Week"
Michael Pearce, Reidsville
"Biggest one I've ever seen -- but he got away."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
"Do you really expect me to finish by noon Thursday when you want me to start over with a more femine scheme?"
Hally Rankin, Greensboro
"Are you now telling me you expected color on all the walls before we move in?"
Hally Rankin, Greensboro
(1) You're right, dear--Junior should not pursue a career in art."
(2) "How many times have we told Junior to not draw on the walls?"
(3) "This is good enough to make the cover of 'Cave-Sports Illustrated'".
(4) "Pets should not be allowed on the field during the javelin throwing competition."
(5) "The idiot that drew this forgot to put clothes on the hunter and a tail on the dragon."
Dave Sheets, Greensboro
"I thought you said your old boyfriend was history."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro
I kinda liked this one
"If you can draw this, you may win a scholarship."
Cathy FitzGerald, Greensboro
"If He could throw that spear! He would still be here!"
"BOY! Have WE come a LONG WAY Since THEN!"
"Me sentimental! Me Still hunt with club!"
Joe Siernos, Greensboro
"The name means 'Dances with Mammoths'."
Lisa Poole, Whitsett
1. "This would make a great MySpace templet"
2. "I'd prefer modern art."
3. "Do you have a vegetarian menu?"
Cee Duncan, Greensboro
"Of course gathering is important, but I only know how to draw hunters."
Michael Pearce, Reidsville
"A van Gogh I am not, I still have both of my ears."
Bob Wilkinson, Kernersville
"'Come down and see my drawings' isn't just my pick-up line."
"Redecorate? Isn't primitive decor still in?"
"I'm better at drawing than hunting, but I'm no starving artist."
"Let's put a frame around what little Ooogah-Ooogah did."
Joan Lux, Greensboro
The last one was a contender for runner-up, but maybe a shorter name for the kid?
"I call it 'Conflict and Self-Fulfillment'"
David Hammer, Greensboro
"See, this proves evolution."
Bill Lawson, Stoneville
"Oh look, Garga, a cave man!"
Bill Lawson
Take a deep breath first ...
1. Where is his backup?
2. Steve Irwin 2007 B.C.
3. When animals attack.
4. I hope he has more than one sphere.
5. Who do you think won?
6. When are you going to move that painting?
7. Those were the good old days.
8. Look how slim you use to be.
9. Now that's grocery shopping.
10. I wonder where that buffet is?
11. I bet that was some good BBQ.
12. Would you please turn the channel?
13. Are you watching the discovery channel again?
14. Where are his clothes?
15. I see your mother is going in for plastic surgery again.
16. Hope he at least got a pair of pants out of him.
17. Looks like we will have to call 1-800-DINOS
18. Guess they don't like buffalo here either.
19. I never understood the wild deer dance.
20. I guess this is what fast food used to be.
21. Do you think this mammoth would make me look fat?
22. Ever since we had shish kabob's at our last cookout, your brother has been obsessed with food on a stick.
23. Where's the chalk? We need more on this wall.
24. I still don't understand how to make it?
25. It tastes better when you cook it anyhow.
26. Jim forgot to paint the starbucks.
27. I asked him to tivo the hunt. But did he? No! All he did was scrawl out an awful painting.
28. That's why his friends leave him home on movie night.
29. Wow, what more can you ask for in a man.
30. Did you play this sport in high school?
31. No wonder he doesn't like going fishing with us honey?
32. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
33. Is that male or female?
34. Steve Irwin would be proud.
35. Watch out for the low flying buzzards.
36. So that's how we get our clothes.
37. Hey, we can use those horns for toothpicks.
38. Can we use this color in our cave?
39. So this is your idea of a perfect man?
40. Does this mean we can't use traps anymore?
41. I told you the kids were watching TV.
42. How do you turn the volume up?
43. Me man, you woman, him crazy.
44. I promise never to make you mad.
45. Do we get milk from this one.
46. It's no fun unless he runs.
47. What holiday is this?
48. You mean I really have to do this to eat?
49. I can't do that my fingernails are not sharp enough.
50. Honey I want you to put this on your honey do list.
51. What else can I do? I get you a cave and you want me to decorate it too?
52. Wait ill catch him first stop that's my lunch.
53. Woman this is your imagination-forget it .
54. Honey did you take the beef jerky again?
55. No more viagra for you.
56. Hmm! Dinnertime.
57. Rodulfo just refuses to paint my good side.
58. I hope you're satisfied, I want just one main color.
59. Woman did you sweep the cave? I still feel dirt.
60. So that's what I need to shave with?
61. Run Bambi Run.
62. Boy I need to go on a diet.
63. Does this picture make me look fat?
64. Lunch time get a chisel.
65. Crocodile hunter.
Team Walter
I liked numbers 8, 50 and 63
"One year of Art School and you give me this?"
Charles Miller, Greensboro
"Looks like Junior's been drawing on the wall again."
Ken Keever, High Point
"I've told Johnny again and again to stop drawing on our walls!!!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
"I'll bet they ate great last night!!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
Early Picasso
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
"Well, it sure wasn't taken in Pamplona!!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
"Personally I think his work is an excellent representation that suggests the primordial power of man verses beast."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
"That hunter looks just like Uncle Bob!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
"Don't you just love post Ice Age Impressionism??"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
"Personally I think his work is an excellent representation that suggests the primordial power of man verses beast, but then...I'm partial to post-mesozoic modernism."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
I like the idea of an erudite sentence coming from a crude caveman, but I thought it would have worked better if it sounded a little more cavemanish, something like: "It OK. Me prefer post Ice Age Impressionism."
"UM MARGE, YOU KEPT THAT VEGGIE DIET I TOLD YOU TO THROW AWAY, RIGHT?"
GREG FOWLER, GREENSBORO
1. "You want me to frame that?"
2. "I told you not to leave Tim alone with his crayons."
3. "The former tenants were weird."
4. "The one on the left looks like your Uncle Tim."
5. "Go and get the paint remover."
6. "I painted each number and this is what I got."
7. "If that animal is outside, we are staying inside."
8. "The National Geographic Channel is getting strange
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden
"This is one of my early works."
"This is the last picture I have of my dad."
"Primitive yes, but aren't we all?"
Stan Dymek, Greensboro
I liked the second one.
"Honey, I think we need to change owr wall paper..."
Bobby Moore, Greensboro
"Maybe I should try hunting, my group the Rolling Stones will never endure."
Gray Amick, Greensboro
"I don’t think so…. I’m calling Dominos"
Bob Winebarger, Greensboro
"I don’t think so…. I’m calling Dominos"
Bob Winebarger, Greensboro
SNAIL MAIL ENTREES
"Jr. really thinks he is going to grow up and earn money drawing these funny pictures."
Sharon Belue, High Point
"My 'to-do list' Are we out of meat already?"
Barbara Vestal, Greensboro
Nice one. Got here too late to be considered, though.
"The 'Spear and Steer' restaurant must be just around the corner."
Linda Satterfield, Greensboro
"Look, Oona! "Self-service restaurant opening soon at this location."
Bill Wallace, High Point
"His art teacher was right, little Flint's 'family pet picture' definetly shows some aggressive tendencies."
Tammy Sanders, High Point
1. "I'll check the messages! Your brother called!"
2. "I think this means your mother's coming!"
3. "This will be a short story!"
4. Just once I would like to see something new on the daily special.
5. "I was trying to teach our children how hard we use to have (it.)
Catherine Duke, Kernersville
Nice ones.
"His lance will be effective if his arm's strong."
"Our constitution, tho primitive, gives us the right to bear spears."
"Very good. But is it art?"
"You can't dilly-Dali around when you're about to be gored."
Max Harless
Liked the "is it art" one.
"Why do women always think they need to draw men a picture?"
"I'd rather be on TV selling car insurance."
"Do you think Domino's delivers out here?"
"Since I'm retired, I'll be around the cave a whole lot more honey."
"I can envision myself in a La-Z-Boy with a remote."
"You got any B.C.? I've got a mamoth headache."
Kris Voy, Trinity
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