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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Aside from the ubiquitous "needle" and "spin" and "groovy"-related puns, a lot of you zeroed-in on --- as I expected --- the generation gap represented by these two music mediums. And like me, I suspect most of you are old enough to remember records and record players. Steve Carbone of Greensboro probably summed it up most succinctly in his funny but not-quite-appropriate-for-a-family-newspaper response which you'll see below.

THE WINNER
"Oh yeah, but can you play Zeppelin backwards?"
David Downing, Greensboro

THE RUNNERS UP
Don't get smart with me kid, you will be obsolete soon and the older I get the more i am worth
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"What do you mean I have a speech impediment ... impediment ... impediment ...?"
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Just don't let 'em lock you up in a hot car!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Now Junior...I promised your Mom that I'd look out for you."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Grampa, exactly what is a Disco Duck?"
Alan Parrish, Archdale

"Hey mom come quick! It's the oldest Ipod EVER!"
Michael L. , Greensboro

THE "WE WISH WE COULD RUN IT IN THE PAPER"
??DIGITAL??????? KISS MY BLACK ANALOG A**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steve Carbone,Greensboro
Steve writes: I know it's for a family newspaper, but having grown up with vinyl I felt I had to comment.

THE REST
Speed? I'll show you speed. How does 78 RPMs grab you, Sonny?
In my day, I hung out with all the greats, the 45s the 33 1/3s; and I can still hit 78 RPMs on a good day.
Tom Harrison, Greensboro

"...and they used to call Me square!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

You kids. It's so easy to push your buttons.
You should listen to my advice. I have been around few times you know.
Tommy Hyatt

"Oh, yeah? Just remember you'll be obsolete yourself someday, you little
bowl-mouthed jerk."
Tim Pegram, Oak Ridge

"I was king in my day, sonny"
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"I don't know if I can still handle all the needlework."
Alex Potter

Old and outdated?? I am a classic!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1) When I was your age I could really get around.
2) I'm 78--how old are you?
3) Don't try to needle me--I'm used to it!
No name given

"So little guy" Do you think you're better than me' the old guy?
GEORGIA COURTS,GREENSBORO

No, really, how many songs do you have?
Ben Atkinson Greensboro
This made the short list. I like it

"We used to rock"
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

You dont need to sing me that song about vinyl siding
Bill Compton, Greensboro

When I was your age I was played now you're the player.
Troyce Hood, Greensboro

People use to lister to me before ipods came along...
Bobby Moore, Greensboro

1."You mean you don't know who The Big Bopper is!?"
2."Yeah, you may be hot stuff right now but they'll be back!"
3."No really, the crackles and pops enhanced the music!"
4."I was spun 'round in circles with a needle in me. And was glad to do it!"
5."In my day an apple was for eatin' and you only wrapped at Christmas!"
6."Enjoy it while it lasts, Sporty."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"You're sooo old school...."
Karen L., Greensboro

"Got Gigabytes?"
Stephanie L. , Greensboro

What's up old scholl I heard you was the man back in the day?
Well Sonny I hope you have a longer run of play than I did!
Grayling Richmond (?)

In my day.... even with a broken needle, I sounded so in the groove......
Carol Ann LaJeunesse, Greensboro

It's vinyl...vinyl...kid...Never heard of vinyl????
Carol Ann LaJeunesse, Greensboro

" Lucky stiff.... we got spindled,spun,scratched, and then shelved in the dark. "
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

1) "How in the world are you supposed to put backward satanic messages on you ?"
2) "Well in my day they drug a sharp needle across you ."
3) "How are you supposed to break up pot on you ?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro
The winner had the same idea as number one here, but I thought it was worded better.

Just wait someday you will "Remember When" too!
Your tunes are not as reminiscent as mine!
I may be old but old things have a way of spinning back around!
I am a team player your all about the " I " !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1. The last time I saw you, you were only this gig.
2. When I was your age, I thought I would be going around forever.
Cynthia Shores, Ramseur

"A Needle?!"
"A Real Needle?!"
Alan Parrish, Archdale

"Stop! Stop!, I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it"
"Your not very mobile, are you?"
"I bet that was really heavy and awkward to take for a jog"
"Great halloween costume. Your going to scare the witts out of the kids"
Jodi Hepler, Clemmons

You got a "MENU"? ... GOOD!Now get me a ham sandwich!
I'll introduce you to my son "CD" Maybe you two can play together?
Yeah! I'm Groovy kid. I was BORN Groovy!
Your "downloading"? Maybe you got acid-reflux
You have New Wave tracks? COOL ... I have old Warped grooves!
My needle got all bent out of shape ... So I retired.
Joe Siernos, GREENSBORO

Jill and Jan were anxiously waiting for Sally to mention her previous night with a bottle of tequila and the guy who took her home, Roy.
Holly McNeely, Eden
??????

1. Don't know about you, but I get RAVE reviews
2. Nice beat, but can you dance to it?
3. Pod, shmod...vinyl is final!
4. Scratch my track!
BJC
(That you, Barbara Cashman?)

no i don't have no 50 cents. You can't be giving money out all willie neely.
Stacey Phifer

"So you're the new little white boy record player on steroids!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

1. "Got any Sinatra in there kid? Didn't think so."
2. "If you're my waiter, I prefer a paper menu."
C. L. Sumpter, High Point
I liked the Sinatra one

1."Wow! A real antiquated album!"
2."Gasp...You can do what?"
3. "Is MP3 a new record speed?"
4. "Hey you old scratched up warpo!"
5. "Listen sonny, I was THERE when rock was born!"
6. "In my day, digital referred to fingers."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

1. "I'm retired sonny."
2. "You look like you've had a rough life."
George Cornett, Greensboro

"Don't brag son. I ruled the world once when you were just in diapers!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"I remember you when you were just a wall socket."
"Didn't you used to be a wall socket?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"You know pod. Every since you been around i haven't being doing good in the music business."
Lynne Taylor,Greensboro

"...and they used to call Me square!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hey, look out! Someday, some Hip Hop DJ may just want to scratch you too!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Your Groovy, Old Man!"
Brian Newell, Greensboro

"I prefer a recording legend, to the old black dude!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

I know I'm old but I can still get around.
Joan Miller, Greensboro

1. At least I never caused family feuds.
2. 78, 45, 33, cassettes, all history-you're next.
3. Thanks to you everyone is 10 lbs heavier.
4. Is there anyway you can rid us of the Geico ads?
5. I remember when the only MENU was in a restaurant.
6. 78 does not refer to my age.
7. My music is better than anything on your menu.
8. See if you can find the Honeymooners.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"I hope you're happy, because of your generation I had to leave the music industry and start selling vinyl siding."
"Stop calling me warped you techno tike."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

Yeah! I remember my young days, too.
Do you know how to skip?
You are just full of it.
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

• "You can download? What's download?"
"You don't get it. 78 is my speed, not my age!"
"Quality beats quantity, especially that rap-crap you play"
"Sonny, I will take you up on that offers for a spin"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
One snail mail entry made runner-up.

"I think they stuck me with a used needle - I lost my groove."
Betty parish, Greensboro

"Those people 'needled' me my entire career!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"I guess you can do all those things, but I'm groovy."
"You gotta be lucky. They're always sticking needles in me."
"Congratulate me on my test results. I passed the vinyl final"
Max Harless, High Point

"At 78 I can still spin on the dance floor which you young electronics can not do."
Herman Hunter, High Point

"You may be hipper, Sprout, but I'm thinner!"
"You young'uns are blessed with such good memories."
"I must have old-timers. I got stuck on the same old song."
"If your head weren't so crammed full of rap, you'd listen to your gramps!"
"I respected my elders, Papa Album and Uncle Eight Track!"
"Sonny, I may have a lot of scratches, but it's a sign of character."
"You rarely visit me in the National Museum of History."
"They stand for cruelly discarded and much played."
"Yeah, right. If I shook my thing, I'd break in two!"
"Have I ever told youhow I fell for Granny? She was a cute little cassette!"
Kris Voy, Trinity