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Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Random thoughts: Joel is on a roll. This is his second consecutive win, and third in five weeks.
A lot of good entries this week.
I usually don't go for inside jokes as captions, but Rosemary's did amuse me.
(I got several other inside jokes worth reading check out below.)
I see you have e-mail now, Kris.
Aside from Alan's very strong contender, there was less consensus for the runners-up than usual.
I notice whenever I read past JOY entries, I always find captions that appeal to me that didn't before.

WINNER
"Casper the Friendly Ghost my foot. He's the reason I'm here."
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Made us laugh

RUNNERS-UP
"Hey! Our episode of Ghost Hunters is on tonight."
Alan Parrish, Archdale
Very strong contender for winner. We liked it a lot.

"Look Elvis, you're in Texas this week."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Here I am in the afterlife checking Friday's cartoon again and Rickard STILL hasn't picked my caption!"
Rosemary Keever, High Point
I couldn't resist this one.

I'm checking the obits for a fourth for bridge.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Look, there's a sale on 200-thread count sheets at Sears!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
Hi, Kris! I noticed I didn't see your snail-mail entry this week. Now I know why. Welcome to the world of e-mail!

INSIDE JOKES
"Hey, my caption should've won!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Hey!! Do you think they ever use ghost writer's for Joke's On You???"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1) "That crazy cartoonist is at it again!"
2) "It says Brewster Rockit is kin to us."
3) " Wow! Tim Rickard's been named King of Corn..."
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

Tim Rickard's photo! Now that is scary!!
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
You obviously HAVE seen my picture.

"HEY!! There's a picture of us looking at today's newspaper, by Tim Richard....SPOOKY!!"
"HEY!! There's a picture of us looking at today's Joke's On You, by Tim Richard....SPOOKY!!"
"HEY!! There's a picture of us looking at today's newspaper....SPOOKY!!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

THE REST
"I really like the way this editor plays on people’s fears."
Marsha Elam

"Hey Joel, your wife's coming!"
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro

Nothing's as scary as the White House's Press Releases.
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I see we made the Obituary column again."
Ken Layton, Carthage
I liked this one.

1) "No son, I don't know why everyone in this graveyard is named Rip."
2) "I'm just checking to see who will be moving in soon."
3) "So Halloween is on a Wednesday, it's not like you have to get up early the next day."
4) "Well Britneys' at it again. Even I wouldn't trade places with her."
5) "If you want to vote in the next election you'll have to move to Chicago."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

It says here that you had MRSA...
Carolyn Mitchell, Greensboro
Hmmm ... maybe something less serious than MRSA...

"Uh oh! Looks like we're getting new neighbors!"
"It says here we have to get a criminal background check before we can haunt any houses."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

Casper was such a clear minded thinker till he became a star.
The White House doesn't need us to haunt them...their own decisions will!!
How are we supposed to RIP with the new line of Ghost Hunter shows coming up?
We won't have any problems finding empty homes to haunt with all these forclosures!
17 Days to the Haunted House Party. You can dress like Nixon and I will be Senator Craig.
I see you did not make the cast on "Hauntings" again this year.
What is spookier? Us or Senator Craig in a men's room?
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Remember the accident we were in? I don't think we survived.
S. Wyzga-Johnson, Greensboro
I liked this one too

"And I thought we were frightening!"
Michael Best

Oh Look! They spelled my name wrong in the obituaries!
Oh Look! Casper is hosting an All-White Attire party! Let's go!
Belks is having a sale on sheets! I guess I'll buy a new to wear to Casper's party...
Gwen Moore, Greensboro

My article is not in the Spooky News, I must have missed the deadline again.
Ed Chappelle, High Point

"Funny, I just found out I am dead"!
"Larry, you don't take a very good picture".
"Do you remember that girl I dated called Halloween"?
"I got to find a better paying job".
"I need a daytime job. This night shift is killing me."
James E.Ferrell, McLeansville

1."I always dreamed of seeing my name in print. Too bad it's in the obituaries."
2."They finally found a cure for cancer. Isn't that what you died from?"
3."As if your luck couldn't get any worse, your lotto pick hit today."
4."Late as usual, the governement revealed the secret to eternal life."
5."Scientists say they can now prove there's no such thing as ghosts."
6."Casper was arrested today for assault. I guess he's not as friendly as we thought."
7."I never thought Casper was all that friendly. I cam see right through him."
8."Hey Fred, isn't that your wife with Frankenstein?"
9."This paper is almost as gruesome as the LA Times."
10."I'm almost glad I'm dead. President Bush doesn't know what he's doing!"
11."Why do I read this dreck? I need something to lift my spirit."
12."I'm looking for a dayscare center for the kids."
13."Hey Earl, you're wanted on the quisha board."
14."I always wanted to see my name in print, but not the obituaries."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
The "ouija" board one was cute, but didn't quit fit the drawing.

"Maybe we shouldn't have been ghost writers after all."
Anita Baxter, Mcleansville

Says here The Invisible Man failed to apppear at his book signing.
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Aww man it looks like i am cover Elm St. again tonight?
Stacey Phifer

"There goes the neighborhood."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"Gosh, I thought he was already dead!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"Boy, there'll be no peace if Britney ends up here."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Look's like I got rejected as a ghost writer!!!"
"I don't get it ... they say I'm not good enough to be a ghost writer."
"Well, I didn't win the ghost writing contest."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"The Vikings and the Saints!? The Real Vikings???"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"Huh. They finally found Jimmy Hoffa."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
Cathy adds: (you know, Spooky News ... they probably get inside information ... well at least before We do!)

"Uh-Oh. Mercury's about to go Retrograde again."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"My horoscope says 'Look both ways before crossing.' Ha! A little late for that!!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
Made my short list

"Guess who's coming to dinner."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hey!! Those 6 lottery numbers that you always played finally hit!!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
One of several lottery related gags, all pretty good

Says here the newcomer in Plot 3521 had a heart attack when he won the NC "education" lottery.
So many cosmetic surgery ads--I just go to the laundromat.
I know it's going to be a great day if I don't see my name in the Life Section.
Great newspaper -- they've never missed a delivery at the stroke of midnight.
Not a good wedding photo -- she's pale as a ghost.
This paper is loaded with ads for cheap Halloween candy.
They caught those kids who tried to scare us last week.
No newcomers this week--the gravediggers are on strike.
Funny how language evolves--I haven't read the word "spooky" in years.
Thin newspaper -- not much happening in this burg.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"It looks like Andrew made the FBI's Most Haunted List"
Garrett Hazlitt, McLeansville

"I always read the obituaries first."
Bill Lawson, Stoneville

"Stories like this scare the death out of me."
Hal Koger, McLeansville

Hey! The party is still on for Tuesday night, Oct. 31 Don"t forget to wear your costume.
Gigi Tatum, Greensboro

How ‘bout this for bad timing? I just got here, and NOW I win the lottery.
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro
My favorite of the lottery-related gags.

NOTICE: Fright Restrictions will be in effect until Halloween.
Christine Keaton, Randleman
nice pun

Headline: "COFFIN MAKER GOES ON TRIAL" LOOKS LIKE A OPEN AND SHUT CASE.
Sports: "GALLOPING GHOST" WINS DERBY."WALKING DEAD" COMES IN LAST!
Zombies 0, Ghouls 3. Darn Zombies! Keep falling apart!
GRAVEDIGGERS WILL HOST HOLE IN ONE TOURNAMENT
Movie Review: See "Grave Diggers Daughter." A love story with a deep plot
Joe Siernos, Greensboro

"According to Ann Landers, you don't have a ghost of a chance this Halloween!"
Don Martin, Greensboro

Dracula is dead ... again!
The Werewolf family is having everyone over for a holiday bite.
Oh, no. Ghost Busters has opened up a local franchise!
The article says it's time to shed our summer whites
Goulds 5 and Ghosts 3. We lost again in "Scare to Death"
How frightening!! The Grand Oracle foresees a Republic sweep in 2008
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Ok Zeke, it reads right here... MY CEREAL IS ON SALE, AND YES IT DOES HAVE BOOBERRIES ... so pay up
Greg Fowler, greensboro

1. I see that they have sheets on sale over at GhostTown
2. It says here that "Buster Killum" made the Scare Team over at Memorial Park
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"Looks like JCPenny's is having a white sale."
"Oh good, Uncle Bob will be here any day now."
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"'Christmas Ghost Chains $19.99.' Geez, I wish they'd wait until Halloween was over!"
Cathy FitzGerald

1."At last! Casper and Wendy are getting married!"
2."Check out Dracula's mug shot. He's totally bats!"
3."Freddy finds fingernail fungus! What a nightmare!"
4."Let's check out the obits for new arrivals."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"Now hiring: Five ghosts for Haunted Halloween House."
George Cornett, Greensboro
Made the short list

"Dear Abbie says it's never ok to haunt your former boss....there goes tonight's plans!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
Liked the Dear Abbie angle. I think this would have worked better without the last part.

Our names are not in the obituary...
Bobby Moore, Greensboro

"Yikes! A bald Britney Spears creeps me out!"
"Paris Hilton parading as a do-gooder? Now that's scary!"
"Why tell ghost stories by the campfire? People stories are much scarier!"
"Democrats and Republicans on the same family tree? Now that's scary!"
"Are all humans inbred? Think they'll discover next that Obama and Osama are long-lost twins?"
"If this drought continues, how will we phantoms be able to rise up out of the mist?"
Kris Voy, Trinity

"Our annual Halloween date and you've accepted an invitation to a party at a nudist camp?"
Ralph Rossi, Greensboro

"Did you know that Perry Normal is now president of the Haunted Homeowners
Association?"
"I'm in luck, BooJangles' needs a Graveyard Shift Supervisor."
"Great, today's edition has an expanded Obit Section!"
Gray Amick, Greensboro
Liked the Bojangles angle - the idea of a ghost choosing to haunt a fast-food place rather than an old house is solid. It just needed different phrasing or something.

1. Wait a minute check that date again How long have I been sleeping?
2. You're reading the obituaries again?
3. When in Brittany gonna get her kids back.
4. The years sure haven't been good to Sally Field.
5. Sorry, Vern you're not the father of Anna-Nicoles baby.
6. Hey Frank maybe we could get on here they have an opening for the grave yard shift.
7. Joe, how can you read that paper? Those articles are so depressing to me
8. I never understood why people are just dying to get into this place.
9. Hey Casper and Elvira are getting married, wonder what there kids are going to look like?
10. I see Casper has been exposed again.
11. Spookmart has a great sale on Halloween but I can't get off work.
12. Hannibal Lector born again! I will miss him being with us.
13. Stock prices are going up for ghostly bank! we're going to be rich.
14. Deluxe has an ad for part time opening for haunting on Halloween. Can we recruit more ghost by then.
Team Walter, Greensboro

"Oh look, there's an open house in Amityville."
"Says here, Bill Murray and Dan Ackroid are finally going to trail."
David Downing, Greensboro
Two ghost movie references. Nice.

Hey, Phantom of the Opera is playing next week. I've been dying to see that.
M. Kuehn, Flagstaff, AZ

Hey, Macy's is having a White Sale. I've been thinking of changing my look.
M. Kuehn, Flagstaff, AZ
Arizona? We also got a couple from Virginia. We're going national!

The Newspaper can't even get the obituaries right.
Trip Brown

They didn't even spell your name right
Nancy Brown

SNAIL MAIL
It explains in this article why Mr. Torn only wanted his first name on his tombstone.
This obituary has a few factual errors about me.
Max Harless, High Point
The Rip Torn idea is cute.

Condos here? That's scary!
Sorry, spider web net still down, search for Uncle Ebeneezer must wait.
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"This is nothing compared to today's headlines in the "News & Record!"
Tania Carter, Stoneville
Bwah-ha-ha!

"Countess Dracula had another wardrobe malfunction. Too bad she doesn't photograph."
My obituary's longer than yours.
Jane Pilson, Ridgeway Va.

"Oh, look! Your mother-in-law is coming."
Margo Ross, Danville, Va and Kay Shankland, Greensboro