News-Record.com

Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

One was brief and pithy, the other was clever. So, we have a tie! Some of us couldn't choose between the two. Those who did choose still didn't pick a consensus favorite. So a first for "Jokes on You" -- two different entries are the winner.
Overall, Kermit, Jeremiah, warts, croaking, the frog prince and frog legs as food were common themes. Needless to say, they unfortunately tended to water each other down.
Also, this week included two of the most esoteric entries I have ever come across. To make matters worse, I understood both of them, which means I have WAY too much cultural junk in my attic. See below to test your knowledge of obscure trivia.

WINNER(S)
Here's a picture of your endangered uncle that closed the northwest logging industry.
Steve Hearn
Very clever. And original.

Stop asking if everyone in here has croaked.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
There were many other "croaking" captions, but there was just something about the way this one was worded that appealed to us.

THE RUNNER-UPS
And there's Uncle Jimmy "taste like chicken" Hopper in his wheelchair.
David Downing, Greensboro
The best of the Frog-legs cartoons.

"Albert was such a handsome frog until that princess kissed him!"
Steve Cook, Greensboro
Nice reversal on the Frog Prince, and the first one with this theme to get to me.

"Remember this one dear? It seems like yesterday. Time was fun when you were having flies!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point
Normally, I'm not real crazy about puns as captions, but this was clever.

TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF ESOTERICA
Here's a picture when your dad and I went-a-courtin', C-C-C-C-Crambone!
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro
J.C. wrote: "Only old-time Tom and Jerry fans will get that last part!"
Well, count me in. From an old episode where Jerry's stuttering uncle mouse comes to visit from Texas. Anyhoo, he would play his guitar and sing "Froggy Went A-Courtin" to which he added the curious refrain "crambone." He would also pull Tom's whiskers off to make guitar strings.

"That's NCSU basketball player Chris Washburn, he's related to you because he could drive to the basket with his right or left hand."
Phil Valla, Greensboro
And therefore this made him "amphibious." Actually, it was N.C. State basketball player Charles Shackleford, not Chris Washburn, who uttered this famous malapropism. Obviously he meant "ambidextrous."

THE REST
"Thats Uncle Joe, he croaked about 5 years ago."
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

Yes, dear...you were born with a tail.
I was so young and green...um...impressionable...then.
Your father was so handsome...just a prince!
And then there's your sister Yolanda...Yolinda...brother Yugbert...Zeena...Zelda....
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"REMEMBER OUR DAYS OF WINE & ROSES WITHOUT OUR OWN PAD?"
Gerri Fox, Summerfield

"Here's a picture of Charles before he was kissed by Princess Diana"
"There's Kermit on his wedding day. I still can't believe he married that pig!"
"Does my wart look big in this picture?"
"I'm glad these photos were salvaged after the fire but where are we gonna live?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"I was the only girl in my class who didn't mess around with those fertility mushrooms."
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"This was my good friend Jeremiah. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"When I was your age, I had frog's legs that went all the way up to my ears."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"Noooo, we didn't have our wart training at Hogwarts."
"Noooo, we didn't learn to cause warts at Hogwarts School."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Here's a picture of your grandpa before he croaked."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"I'm sure glad no one kissed you because I like you just like you are."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"You were such a cute little tadpole...too bad your 60 brothers and sisters didn't make it."
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

Our pad sure is filling up!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Humans are barbaric. Horace became a plate of frog legs!
Taddy you sure are croaking up!!
The pond reunion was sure hoppin that year!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

* "That's the toad your brother married"
* "And this is Uncle Pete after he was pickled in formaldehyde"
* "Those legs on the plate are our Cajun relatives"
* Uncle Joe is kissing a princess to turn her back into a frog"
* There you see Aunt Beatrice being swallowed by an ibis"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
My bizarre side likes the last one

Ooh, junior looks just like my dad!
That's two kids, how many do you want?
Willie Laughlin, Summerfield

Son your mama would have loved to had wings when this photo was made
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"It's a shame Uncle Rana got run over in the drive through lane at IHOP."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

1. "Look how big our island was before the glaciers started melting."
2. "Uncle Harvey's vacation island sure was bigger than this."
Stan Mackay, Greensboro

"That one's before I had lip surgery."
Gerri Hunt

See? There's not a single wart on any member of our family!
Joan Hunt, Greensboro

"We lost our tails and fell in love".
"This is when your dad was hopping-good looking".
"Junior, it's you before losing your tail!".
"Mom used to have the cutest rear".
"This is your grandpa, next to the pier with no water during the great drought".
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

If you've seen one frog leg, you've seen 'em all.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

You're named for Aunt Polly--it's short for "polliwog"!
Uncle Bull always shivered when he heard that someone had croaked.
That's Uncle Bull before he kissed the princess to get rid of his warts.
That skinny one never got the hang of sticking his tongue out to eat.
They lived at the BIG pond -- we were the poor relations.
Uncle Bull was a famous singer -- he could really hold a note!
Uncle Bull got rich when he wrote "Froggie Went A'Courting."
Oh, that terrible night in '59 when Uncle Bull got gigged.
He was a big star in those old tv beer commercials.
Smartest one in the family--she knew how to spell "rrrrrribbit"!
Joan Lux, Greensboro

1) "Sweetie we all look like that at that age."
2) "That was your father back when he was a prince."
3) "That's a chicken, some say they taste just like us."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"They all look alike to me."
John W Reames, Greensboro

"That's Uncle Ned. He lost his legs in a French restaurant."
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE
This one made my short list.

1. "This is your Dad after he won the fly eating contest at Croaker Island Amusement Park."
2."See son, your warts and short tongue do come from your Father's side of the family."
Larry Lemons, Asheboro

"...and that's the kingdom you would have one day ruled over if daddy's first kiss had been with that human girl instead of me."
Larry Parrish

"So what if your cousin Earl turned into a handsome prince. YOU'RE the one who made my heart leap!"
Marcia James

"And when your dad kissed me, he turned into a handsome frog."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Here's a picture of your famous uncle Kermit back when he was just a tadpole."
Mac Lane, High Point

"Cut us some slack Junior... It's no easy job raising 1,285 tadpoles on a single income."
Mac Lane, High Point

"Here's one of grandpa before he croaked."
Mac Lane, High Point

"That's my uncle, 'Lenny the Tadpole', from Jersey."
Ralph Rossi, Greensboro

1. They didn't have color film when Grandpa was a boy.
2. That's Grandpa before the Princess kissed him and after.
3. That's me floating on the lily pad and me with the pad under water after I gained weight.
4. That's you as a tadpole.
5. Could someone hand me my glasses?
6. That was Grandma moments before the truck hit her.
7. Don't know why humans like our legs.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

A.- THIS IS YOUR GRANDFATHER,HE RETIRED TO FLORIDA AND HAS HIS VERY OWN LILY PAD IN A GATED CANAL..
B- THIS IS YOUR UNCLE HOPPY , HE LEAPT TO A FINAL CONCLUSION SHORTLY AFTER THIS WAS TAKEN.
C- THATS YOUR AUNT MYOPIA WITH THE GLASSES, SHE ALWAYS LOOKS BEFORE SHE LEAPS.
D- THIS IS OUR FAMILY CREST, NOTICE HOW IT FEATURES A COAT OF LEGS.
JOE RICHEY, GREENSBORO

"Where did that Toad come from?
Russ Ottaway, Mebane
I kinda liked this one.

"...and this was your Dad when he was a tadpole! Oh honey, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

This is so CUTE! Junior's first day in toad school
HONEY! Please stop saying "They all croaked".
There's no "Prince" in here! Just "BULL"- frogs!
AH! A picture of Kermit and Miss Piggy. He's living high on the hog now!
Here's tadpole number 10,721. What a great smile!
Joe Siernos, Greensboro
The first one here is VERY close to the winner.
But I still liked the wording on Joan's a little better, and She was first...
But this was good also, as well as the "Kermit" one and the "tadpole number."

Mom, Dad why is there a menu in here?
Stacey Phifer
Kinda liked this one.

1. "See, what a handsome prince your father was."
2. "Jeremiah was a bullfrog, he was a good friend of mine."
Tennie Skladanowski, Greensboro

"That's how I met your father ... I kissed him and he turned into a handsome frog!"
Wesley B. Buffaloe, Winston-Salem

That's your Uncle Henry, poor soul. He could never resist car headlights at night.
William W. Purkey, Greensboro

"Who's the human girl? Oh, that was me BEFORE I kissed your father."
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

Look at how much fun we used to have playing jumping jacks and leapfrog!
Sally Sue, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"That's your uncle Fred right before he croaked."
Bill Wallace, High Point

"... And this is Granddad before he met the princess."
Linda Yates, Greensboro

"Here photographic proof for 'Goldilocks and the Three Frogs.' not 'Three Bears'!"
"That's a picture of our little old lily pad. Our new one is much nicer."
Max Harless, High Point

"Son, see, I told you your Grandfather was a toad."
"This is your Uncle Kermit before he became famous."
"You were such a cute little tadpole!"
"Your dad needs to find us a bigger pad before your baby sister arrives."
Nancy Nelson, Greensboro

"That's you Matt? What happened?"
Gloria Trent, Eden

"Remember our wedding vows? Til one of us dost croak..."
"I'm glad they retouched all my warts."
"That's us in our hip-hop phase."
"Daddy's a poison dart frog. Thus, our toxic relationship..."
"Blind date? You TRIED to camouflage yourself in that tree."
"That's not accupuncture! That's when Uncle Todd was dissected!"
"We look so 70's in these jumpsuits!"
"Tad, that's when you broke your leg and were so unhoppy."
"Remember your birthday at McDonalds? We all had hoppy meals with french flies and diet croak."
Kris Voy, Trinity
Some clever puns here.