News-Record.com

Thanksgiving is next week, so here's your chance at a do-it-yourself Thanksgiving cartoon, Pilgrim.
Send your entries to jokesonyou@news-record.com

Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

In case it wasn't clear in the drawing for last week's cartoon, the kids are playing a video game their Mom gave them. What is it? That was up to you.
Well, I admit I didn't give you much to work with. No ghosts, dogs, cows or even cavemen. In this type of cartoon, you have to shoot for something more clever than funny. The old video game "Pong" was brought up a lot. I picked the one I thought was worded best (sorry, CC, you were very close.) Also, you got extra points for realizing it was the Mom talking, not the kids.

WINNER
"You guys are gonna love this...it's called Pong!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Best of the "Pong" gags, but only by a hair (see honorable mention)

RUNNERS-UP
"It's 'Michael Jackson's Return To Neverland - The Video Game'"
"It's Grand Theft Auto - Wysteria Lane - Look At Gabrielle Run!"
No name given on these two, but we think it's our old friend, Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"No silly this video game isn't defective, it's SUPPOSED to teach you reading, math, and geography!"
Tyler Mannary, Greensboro, Age 12
The Mannery family racking up

"This game will interactively teach you about the birds and the bees."
Margie DiDona, Asheboro

"Mom, the CDs got mixed. This is you and dad in the hot tub!
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Although, technically, that wouldn't happen as they are two different media, the idea of this was amusing.

HONORABLE MENTION
"It's called 'PONG'....your Daddy and I used to find this game quite challenging!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
CC, this is as close as you'll ever get without winning. I went back and forth on this one and the winner (I try to choose runner-ups that have different themes from the winner and other runner-ups.)
Although I liked the implied naievte of the Mom, we still decided that shorter was punchier.

THE REST
"Hey kids! Here's a new game called MRSA man. Help him avoid boils from the flesh eating bacteria by washing his hands."
Janet Brindle Reddick, Greensboro
Nice one, even if you do work here.

"It's by NCLB; you have to pass AYP before you move to the next level"
Donna Bailey, Greensboro
I liked this one, but a wee bit obscure to a lot of people

Guess you're still too young for this "Face the Consequences -- Save Now for Your Old Age or Else" video game.
Last person standing upright will be the winner in the "Gut-Wrenching Food Recalls" video game.
A real-life competition follows this "Thoroughly Clean Your Bedroom in Less Than 12 Hours" video game.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"How To Play Hide and Seek" Yuke!
"Make a Ugly Face Like This Game"
"What Kids Did Before Video Came Along Game."
"How To Run, Jump and Play Outside Video"
"Make A Face Like An Old Person Game."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"To play, you must live without cell phones, Ipods, computers, cable tv..."
Donna Lynn Mast

It's called PONG..."
"...OH MY NOSE!! - Although a hit with parents "A Very Brady Video Game" left the kids feeling a bit cheated."
"PAC-MAN on the Atari 2600 was a disappointment on so many levels."
"I Love You...You Love Me! Blech!!!"
"Well...it's called Halo so it must have SOMETHING to do with angels..."
No name given, but I think it's our old friend Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"No aliens? No gore? This game really stinks!"
Ken Layton, arthage
Good, but it's actually the Mom talking ...

"Isn't Mario Does Mortal Multiplication an exciting game on the big screen? We can certainly get educationally violent if we have to."
K.Harrison, Troy

"Mommy, the bad guys are killing that doggie from the photo-thingy you do for the paper."
Micah Massei, Greensboro

I played this game as a kid...Isn't monopoly great!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Mom was ecstatic when her favorite '70s TV show, 'The Love Boat,' was made into a video game. The kids, not so much."
Amy LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"I think the shark just ate Fonzie."
Dennis LaJeunesse (Jr), Greensboro
hmmmm... trying to tell me something there, Dennis?

"How's the math challenge going?"
Sebastien LaJeunesse, Greensboro
Good one. A contender.

1. isn't that lovely, all you have to do to get to level 5 is kill a midget and rob an old lady.
2. is "bloodsucker of flesh" appropaite for you.
3. where is the joystick?
Stacey Phifer

"Mom! Surrender to Broccoli?"
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

Apparently Mom really was colorblind...Blood Bath III "looked just fine" to her.
Amy LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"I see that Dad got you the new Tele-Tubby video game for the weekend."
Wil Courter, Greensboro
Good one. Another contender.

"It's not Halo 3, but you'll like this even better...it's called Pong!"
"I didn't get Halo 3, but you guys will like Pong much better."
"I figure the violence will prepare them for public school."
"All this shooting and dodging bullets will prepare them for school."
"Before you know it, they'll be shooting at a 10th grade level!"
"Are you guys sure that rated MA stands for Mommy Approved?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Liked the line "shooting at a 10th grade level," but it didn't really fit the drawing.

"Who is Pacman and which button makes him blow up?"
"I got Manhunt 2. I hope it's not too violent."
"After playing Pong, they'll be begging to go OUTSIDE and play."
"Aww Ma, why'd you get this one? We might actually learn something!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Gee, I didn't even know they sold Pong any more!
What exactly is a Donkey Kong?
Ben Atkinson

"Sorry, sweetie. Looks like your birth video was put into the wrong case."
Scott Scaggs, High Point

" Eeek! Mom, there aren't any guns in this game! How do they expect me to
kill somebody If there are no guns ?"
David Crawford, Greensboro

Here is a new game for you kids, its called "Shut Up Or Get Off"
Try this game its called "Silence Is Golden"
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"This Britney Spears game is disgusting!"
"What kind of jungle has a pond that disappears and reappears?!" (a reference to Pitfall!)
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro

"Mom, how are we supposed to have fun when there are no weapons In this game."
David Crawford, Greensboro
I liked this one. A contender.

This isn't a game, it's a video of Mom & Dad's wedding.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"It's called "Store Wars". You fill up your shopping cart with as many 1/2 price items as possible. Whoever spends less wins!"
"You get points for picking flowers and whoever makes the nicest arrangement gets bonus points. Isn't this better than shooting flesh-eating zombies infected with an alien virus?"
"I bought it at the health food store. It's called Veggie Land. You get points for eating vegtables and tofu and you loose points for eating meat and candy."
"The romance book club sent it. You run around gathering up flowers, candy and perfume for your significant other and then you get a kiss. Isn't that romantic?"
Alan Parrish, Archdale
I liked the second one, but it was just a bit long. Right idea, though.

"It's Halo 4, you have to clean your room & kiss your sibling to become an angel."
Phil Valla, Greensboro

This one offers a new level of reality; Super Mario has to open a clogged drain in John Madden's shower.
This one offers a new level of reality; Super Mario has to use a plunger on John Madden's stopped-up toilet.
David Theall, Greensboro
Well, this would explain the kid's expressions ...

"MOM......UGH, eat your vegetables game is not fun to play."
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

"...Who would have thought that "Shades of Death" came out with a video game."
Scott Smith, McLeansville

I never would have thought that "Old Maid" would come out on playstation 3!!Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I know that this is a little more realistic than
your Operation game, but it'll be good if you become doctors!"
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro

"And I think you'll find this one Really educational!!"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"It's called 'Helping Mommy with Natural Childbirth' !"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"It's called 'Accounting: The Game'. "
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
I'm on level 3

"It's called the 'Joke Writing For Dummies' game!!"
"It's called the 'Joke Writing For Dummies' game!! CC, someday, you'll love this game!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
I need to get that

"It's called 'PONG'. "
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
TOO short. Needs just a bit more set-up, like the winner and your honorable mention. (confused, yet?)

"It's called 'The Game of War the George Dubya Way'. Your Dad and I can't figure it out."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Gee kids when I was a girl Pacman only ate dots."
Jennifer D
This had potential, but I think needed just a bit more explaining

"Kids in order to win this new 'Jokes on You' game you can't just hunt down Tim Rickard. You also have to annihilate all those people that submit more than 10 entries each week."
Stan Dymek, Greensboro
Hee hee. Good luck, kids!

1. "Yuk Mom! This Bible game is lousy. Jesus always wins."
2. "Thanks for the big screen TV Mom. But now we can't play video games all day. Being this close to the screen makes us dizzy!"
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"Mom, it's now my NewBridge Bank Xbox 360."
"Mom, I think Susie is choking."
"OK mom, I'll play this new game while you apply the Heimlich maneuver to Susie."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"This is lame!. We don't care if Atari was elected to the Toy Hall of Fame"
"What does it mean that "No characters were mistreated in making this game"
"Your Ebay bargin game is in Polish!
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL"Hand-eye coordination? Hah! Use use you eyes to find your chores and your hands to perform them."
Max Harless, High Point

"Enough of 'Deliver Baby,' Let's try 'Wisdom Tooth Bye Bye.'"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro