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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

For the second week in a row, Bob Mannary was the unanimous choice around here. Britney Spears' questionable parenting skills was a source of inspiration for several of you, as well as Brangelina, fertility clinics and power outages. The first entries I received on these subjects got first dibbs for consideration. Below are other worthy themes including Vlassic pickles, PTI and Skybus. Even Viagra and the state of West Virginia got in on the act.

WINNER
"Please not Britney! Please not Britney! Please not Britney!"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

RUNNER-UPS
"I Hate bulk mailing day!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"That must've been some blackout back in March!"
Vanise Goodnight, Lexington

"SPECIAL DELIVERY for Angelina Jolie"
Mary W. Stickle, Asheboro

I think this flight was oversold.
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

"It's going to be great! I hear Michael has an amusement park and everything!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"All pacifiers should be inserted and apple sauce containers covered as we begin our descent."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

THE REST

"Release babies on the ground. Release supplies from the air. Release babies on the ground. Release supplies from the air..."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Oh NO! I think I packed the first delivery in the Middle!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"This is the Last Time that I'm taking the other storks runs for Poker Night."
"This is the Last Time that I'm taking the other guys runs for Poker Night."
"This is the Last Time that I agree to take the other storks runs just so that they can play Poker."
"That's the Last Time that I bet making deliveries on Poker Night."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Let's see Mike Rowe try This on 'Dirty Jobs'!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Well, if I don't make all of the deliveries by midnight, the rest will just have to be Sagittarius's."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I'd better not fly over the Jones' house with this load. He's got a shotgun."
KEN LAYTON, Carthage

"I see Pampers is headed for a great year."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Boy, these dependents will wipe out the Smith's tax burden!"
Ken Layton, Carthage

Here comes Brangelina's bunch!!
Veronica Sherbourne, Greensboro

1.) "I should've gone with the cardboard cut-out of myself."
2.) "The woman had to have all 27 of these babies!"
3.) "just...(pant)...2...(pant)...more...(pant)...miles!"
4.) "Lying is wrong! Especially to your kids!"
5.) "Would you get to the part where you are in the baby delivery room?"
6.) "And you waited for the stork to bring him,I think he knows the story!"
Mackinley Scaggs, Greensboro 10

1). "Wow" Brad and Angelina, this is my 5th delivery this week.
2). "I HATE kids !"
Parker Scaggs, Greensboro

Little bundles of joy?? They get heavier every year!
Isnt it time to upgrade from us storks delivering? who thought of this idea anyway??
I think I will need to see a chiropractor after this load!
I was told one small load.....I wonder if we could Strike!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Large delivery today -- how widespread was the power outage 9 months ago?
Large delivery today -- did the power go out 9 months ago?
We are NOT stopping again at a Dairy Queen.
There's only one of me -- hope your mother understands why you're late.
I'm flying as fast as I can to get you there by December 31.
I'm getting tired delivering end-of-year tax deductions.
You'll find out soon enough when your parents have "the talk" with you.
Hang on, kids, I let my liability insurance lapse.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

... Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.
...Well you said the more the merrier!
Jan Hitch, High Point

"I hate those @#$%ing blackouts!"
Ben Atkinson

"These fertility clinics are killin' me!"
Laurie Browning, Jamestown

Why is it MY mission in life to deal with the problems of THEIR power outages?!
Sue Cross, Ruffin

1. well I guess the war is over.
2. honestly, some companies need to advertise more.
3. ......let's see 9 months from Valentines' Day?
4.wouldnt just saying "i love you work"
Stacey Phifer

Darn that ice storm power outage....
Cathy Kennedy, Greensboro

"AAWW" my aching beak, I wish those people would find something else to do during an ice storm, have they never heard of board games!
Lisa T. Kay, Greensboro

"Your head's all squished. They'll think you're natural delivery!"
"Mr. Stork's grumbling about the shipping rate going up and his salary going down."
"I don't think he likes us. He said preemies made his job a lot easier!"
"Did something white and gooshy just hit your head, too?"
"Why can't Mr. Stork use the facilities pre-flight?"
"Baby at 10 o' clock needs a diaper change!"
"Baby at 10 o'clock is carrying a load of his own!"
"Boy is Dad gonna be mad at Mom when he sees us!"
"My circadian rhythm gets all messed up when he flies over those time zones!"
"How does he expect us to sleep with all this turbulence?"
"Where are the exit zones, seat cushions, and oxygen masks?"
"Where are the peanuts?"
"Have you gotten your peanuts yet?"
"You get what you pay for. It's SkyBus."
"Whaddya expect? We got the first ten seats for ten dollars!"
Kris Voy, Trinity

See what happens when discount air carriers fly out of PTI?
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

"Why does Brad and Angelina have to be on MY route?"
"Next stop, Mia Farrows house."
"Looks like there's a new world record."
"Viagra may do wonders for some, but it's bad on my back!"
"Viagra's new sales pitch must be working."
"Trojan needs a new ad campaign."
"It must be sweeps week on the Maury show."
"I'm going back to my old job at Vlasic!"
"I didn't know how easy I had it making Vlasic pickle commercials."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Stupid childhood obesity
Park Groves, Greensboro

The children around the world have been recalled to protect them from lead paint in toys.
Maurice "Moose" Pleasants, Lexington

I wonder if Fed Ex is hiring ?
Danny Blair, Trinity

"They're cheaper by the dozen..."
Katherine L., Greensboro

"the new military secret weapon - diaper fumes"
Stephanie L., Greensboro

With the high gas prices I thought "Damn Carpool" would work.
D.T. Reece, Randleman

1) "Uh oh! I'm gonna sneeze!"
2) "I can't remember who goes where"
3) "I gotta get one of those GPS things!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

I could never get this load off the ground if I had heavy thighs.
Lots of babies in that cabbage patch.
Where did I find you? Under some cabbage leaves of course.
Glad my take-off isn't hindered by heavy thighs.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Apparently she forgot to look at The Old Farmer's Almanac before she signed the contract."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

1) " I wonder if our last name will be Jolie or Pitt . "
2) " I hear we are going to live in a shoe . "
3) " Do you think it's a good idea for children to be this close to birds ? "
4) " STOP TOUCHING ME ! "
5) " I'm sorry I thought that was my thumb . "
6) " Well we can blame this on Hillary's healthcare. "
7) " OK got the birds, but where do the bees come into this ? "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
I liked the "stop touching me" one.

I don't know where he thinks we can come up with the $5 for the in-flight meal!
Michael Pearce, Reidsville
I liked this one. A contender.

Damn In-Vitro!
Barbara wites" "sorry, Tim...it was the first thing that popped into my head"
After this load, I'm switching to pickles.
Just wait till this crew hits Social Security in 60 years.
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"I hate when I get stuck with the Catholic route!"
"...and I laughed at Earl when he decided to sell pickles instead."
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro

..and they say rabbits multiply quickly!
Oops! The weatherman should have forecasted "scattered showers" today!
Christine Keaton, Randleman
I liked the scattered showers one. Another contender

I hate the bird flu disease.
What kind of Girl.?
This is the Sky Bus?
It is a shame that storks look like turkeys.now I have to work extra shifts.
Now I know why the teradactyl went extinct.
Angelina made this look easy.
Delivery to Angelina and Brad.
Park G. gbo

"Haven't these people ever heard of video games?"
"At least it's not the China route...Keep flapping." "At least it's not the China route...Keep flapping."
"Darn power outages."
"Darn fertility drugs."
Why didn't I take that job selling pickles on TV?"
"What in the world have they been feeding these kids?"
"The nurses on the maternity ward are going to love this."
Alan Parrish, Archdale

" I never should have quit my job at Vlasic."
"Ned now realized why the more senior storks always planned their
vacations nine months after Valentine's day."
"In the future, I'll be scheduling a vacation nine months after a blackout."
"You should see the bundles I have to carry for the rabbit division."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

And I thought the Gosselin kids were a crowd!
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

Where is a head of cabbage when you need it?
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

They need to outlaw fertility drugs, Oh my aching beak!!
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

I think someone needs a diaper!!
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

"I have to deliver to these high schools more and more."
"I hate the Amish route."
Eli Oklesh

"No Billy, now really ISN'T a good time to play Pull-My-Finger..."
"What is a Fed-Ex Hub and how long do you think we'll be there?"
"Not so funny when I have the dirty diaper now is it?"
"Na Na Na Na Boo Boo...my mommy's Halle Berry!"
"Do you think Angelina Jolie gets a discount by ordering in bulk?"
"Where exactly IS Dubai and do you think they'll have cake?"
"If there is any justice in the world we're not heading to Britney Spears!"
"Got Milk?"
"Do you think this celebrity-baby thing is getting out of hand?"
"Christina Aguellera huh? I'm heading to Halle Berry...guess we'll just call it a draw."
"Do you think the Osmonds will even notice?"
"I hope I get a cool name like Maddox or Zahara..."
"My broker is E.F. Hutton and E.F. Hutton said..."
"Is your last name Federline too?"
"Who's YOUR daddy?"
"So would my last name be Pitt, Jolie, Jolie-Pitt, Brangelina...I'm so confused..."
"You guys think this whole stork idea is funny huh? Do you have any idea what these things smell like?"
"Mmmmph, mmmmph, meeeeemph, mmmmph mmmph mmmimph" (Stork talking)
"Do you think he's ever dropped anybody?"
"I heard this is the second delivery to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt in 2 weeks!"
"I guess I should have mentioned this earlier but I tend to get a litle air-sick from time to time."
"Do you think they'll have any turkey left?"
"I was surprised too...nobody even knew Jennifer Lopez was pregnant!"
"I hope our stork doesn't fly for America West..."
"I can't believe that I got THIS through airport security!"
"OK...this will be hilarious...on the count of three, everybody let out one big poop...ready???"
"I don't want to live on an island!"
"I don't know about you but island living didn't exactly work out well for Gilligan and his buddies."
"I spy with my little eye..."
"Play the sign game you said...it'll pass the time...WE'VE BEEN ON 'A' FOR OVER 6 HOURS!!!"
"I think I just swallowed a bug..."
"Hey look...isn't that Osama Bin Laden's cave...time for a little number 2 action!"
"OK...I start then you come in...ready...Row Row Row Your Boat..."
"You won't BELIEVE where they put that TSA sticker..."
"My diaper...they actually checked my freakin' diaper!!! I feel so violated..."
"This is the last time I EVER fly coach..."
"All I know is that this better not be part of some new reality show on FOX..."
"Would you mind not kicking my seat please...."
"I thought there was supposed to be a movie on this flight..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Bob is a student of the "more is more" philosophy.
(Hey, it worked.)

"The odor is killing me!"
"My dentures are slipping!"
"That Fed-Ex proposal sounds better each trip"
"I hate this new plastic doll delivery contract"
"This trip will prove I am not a Dork Stork!"
"A new product line for Babies-R-Us?"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"Look at those yahoos headed to a Lamaze class."
Phil Valla, Greensboro

I wish the Condom Worker's Union stike would be over soon.
Scott Smith, McLeansville
Good one. A contender

"Does anyone give birth naturally anymore?"
"I should've retired before the advent of fertility pills."
"The miracle of life is murder on my back!"
"I'd get a truck if it wasn't for the price of gas."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Why do I deliver when the doctor gets all the credit??
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I better deliver triplets to the next three houses because I sure am tired."
"Hummm, I can be done quicker if I deliver triplets to the next three houses!!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"YOU try carrying nine little one!!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Is that a man on the roof with a rifle?"
"Is that a man on the roof with a rifle and a sign saying 'No More Kids'??"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Am I seeing things or does the sign on that house say 'No Deliveries'?!"
"Oh No! What do I do now? The sign says 'No Deliveries'!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"there should be a law against those darn fertility drugs."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"Next stop... Jolie / Pitt house"
Michele Kilgallen, Wayne, New Jersey

(1) Somebody forgot to wear a diaper.
(2) This is a non-stop flight to Moses Cone.
(3) I've heard about no-frills flights, but this is ridiculous.
(4) Sure he can fly but can he land softly?
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

1. Let me guess, there was a power outage 9 months ago!
2. I know what Brown can do for me.
3. Where is UPS when I need them?
4. I'm joining a Union.
5. I picked a great day to leave my address book home.
6. Then Dad said to Mom, "what else is there to do, there's no electric."
7. I sure hope we are not all going to the same house.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"And the FAA thinks they have a capacity problem."
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville

1.) "Don't worry; I hear Britney's a great mom."
2.) "I think we're almost there. I see a sign: Welcome to West Virginia."
3.) "What a coincidence! We're all going to Britney Spears' house, too."
4.) "OK now, who couldn't wait?"
5.) "I'm not sure exactly where we're going. I hear it's someplace called the NBA."
6.) "Don't worry; I hear Michael just loves kids!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"We are approaching Emerald Pointe Water Park which is a designated No Drop Zone' area."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

I guess Angelina & Brad are tired of one at a time.
Moonlighting for Babies-R-Us is going to be the death of me.
Wally Fox, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"A bundle of year-end tax deductions!"
Norman Welker, Greensboro

"Special delivery for Branjelina."
Jane Lewis, Burlington

"Are you buying this? I already know better."
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

1. "Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas!"
2. "Who's your daddy?"
3. "Must have been another blackout."
4. "What kind of party did they have?"
5. "Hasn't anybody heard of using protection?"
6. "Do they really know what they are about to receive?"
7. "Bundles of Joy or Holy terrors?"
8. "I am so tired of this job. No wonder I'm an endangered species."
9. "There has to be a better way to keep warm."
10. "Forgive me, I'm about to drop this heavy load."
Nancy Nelson, Greensboro
I really liked the 4th one. A contender

"It has always been said, labor and delivery is for the birds."
Helen J. Greene, Biscoe, N.C.

"I'm supposed to wrap each baby in swaddling clothes. I only have one swaddle."
"Gang way! I'm trying to set a new Guiness world record."
"This is why Dr. Greir wants that bond issue for new schools."
"Darn those fertility drugs!"
"I've found that when you plan and combine delivery routes you save time and money."
Max harless, High Point

"I've heard of 'share the ride' but this is ridiculous!"
"Those fertility drugs have got to go!"
Barbara Vestal, Greensboro

"Gosh these fertility drugs and mixed marriages are really tiring me out."
Jeryl Johnson, Greensboro

"These deliveries for Angeline and Brad are getting larger and larger."
Linda Satterfield, Greensboro