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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Yep, believe it or not, Joke's On You is one-year old this week. And look how much you've changed! Why it seems as though it was only yesterday you were sending me captions about a suggestion box on a deserted island. So to celebrate, this week's cartoon ALSO involves a deserted Island theme. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some candles to blow out.

And now for a couple of new, online-only awards: Best Obscure Cultural Reference and Best Inside Joke.
I hereby award the Best Obscure Cultural Reference award to:
A tie between Bob Mannary ("Yeah, yeah, Happy Birthday!!")
And Phil Valla ("It's not my birthday Frosty.")
for their "Frosty" entries:

And best Inside Joke award goes to:
Everyone (I'm afraid I'd miss someone to name you individually) who pointed out that Frosty seemed to be borrowing Baby New Year's hat from last week.
Give yourselves a hand.

WINNER
I'm not fat, it's mostly water weight...
PAULA HAIRSTON

RUNNERS-UP
"I'm a wintry mix, what's your descent?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro
The "wintery mix" tickled me, but, alas, didn't score quite as high with others around here.

"Maybe it's the moonlight. Maybe it's the wine. But to me, you look just like Burl Ives."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
This one made us laugh - but I thought it might be just a tad bit esoteric for a lot of readers.

Those 10 pounds I gained at Christmas just melted away. I think I'm going to like global warming.
Nancy Stevens, Jamestown

"I thought she'd ENJOY a romantic evening by the fire..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"We never go anywhere !!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Don't tell me you're going to wear THAT again!
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro
This was one of three contenders for top spot

THE REST
Not full-scale plastic surgery -- just a little trim with a vegetable peeler.
JOAN LUX, GREENSBORO
Good one. a contender for runner-up.

"Frosty, if you can gallavant around the square with those kids, you can do some work around the igloo."
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE
This one barely missed making runner-up. Maybe the last one eliminated.

"Global Warming has me worried about my cousins at the Pole."
Glenda Layton, Carthage

"As Snowwomen go, I'm just 'pleasingly plump'."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I really consider Al Gore to be our generation's Stephen King..."
"Trust me...carrot size DOES matter!"
"You look like Baby New Year..."
"Does Baby New Year know you have his hat?"
"Yeah, yeah, Happy Birthday!!"
Bob wrote: (applause to those who get this one!)
Well include me and Phil Valla (see below)
"Uh...it's button you LIP...doofus!"
"They really should get Calvin some phycological help..."
"Don't look at ME all indignant...I can't help it if I got the last carrot!"
"It's not MY fault you've got a button where your carrot should be!!"
"Look at Me! Corn-Cob Pipe and a BUTTON Nose!! A BUTTON NOSE!"
"Looks like Billy thought your Corn-Cob pipe looked better a little further south..."
"What did you do to get your Corn-Cob pipe stuck THERE?"
"'With a Corn-Cob TAIL and a Button Nose'...it could work..."
"It's not really THAT yellow..."
"Do these snowflakes make my butt look big?"
"Relax...nobody will even notice. It's not THAT yellow."
"Is that a lump of coal or are you just glad to see me?"
"Uh...I think your fly's open..."
"You think YOURS are cold?"
"Don't blame me...he's not MY dog!"
"Would it have hurt them to use just a LITTLE less snow on my bottom half?"
"My New Year's resolution is to shed a few pounds by Spring..."
"I don't appreciate being given the cold shoulder all the time..."
"Christmas isn't the only thing BLUE around here!"
"After dinner we decided to get cozy by the fire so I went to get some champagne and when I got back...she was GONE!"
"It's not MY fault you only hear from me in December!!!"
"Don't get all huffy because I missed your birthday again!"
"Look...for the last time...stop staring at my WIFE!!
"You got nothin' to say huh? Oh...sorry...ran out of coal?"
"I'm just glad they put the carrot in the right spot this year..."
"Last year all they had were string beans so I'm grateful."
"The next morning, the sheets where soaked and she was gone..."
"Last year...Billy got MY nose from his mommy's nightstand so I consider this a vast improvement..."
"Would it have KILLED them to use just a little more snow...you know...down there..."
"Trust me...the pounds just melt away...it's amazing!"
"It was horrible but I finally got it to pass...it was the size of a Snow Cone!!!"
"At least YOUR'S are made out of coal..."
"At least it's not an icicle...last year I had a runny nose all winter!"
"Oooh...Mr. Big-Shot-Movie-Star is home for the holiday's huh?"
"So is it like Smokey The Bear which is actually just Smokey Bear which would make you like Frosty Snowman which just doesn't sound quite right..."
"Last year I had Oreo's for eyes...I was afraid of EVERYTHING!"
"Last year I had Moon Pie's for eyes...I was affraid of EVERYTHING!! - (Southern Version)
"Last year I had Oreo's for eyes...It was like being in a Hitchcock Movie!"
"Last year I had Moon Pie's for eyes...It was like being in a Hitchcock Movie!" - (Southern Version)
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

1) "NO CAPTION DUE TO WRITER'S STRIKE !!!"
2) "Nice , button fly."
3) "I feel like you are giving me the cold shoulder."
4) "You really earned the name, Frosty."
6) "Isn't the hat and scarf counter-productive ?"
7) "Not to be like chicken little, but a warm front is coming."
8) "Is it just me are is it cold in here ?"
9) "No I haven't given any thought to a nose job."
10) "That yellow streak down my back has nothing to do with me being a coward."
11) "Britney and Paris just snorted our baby."
12) "What's my biggest fear ? SPRING!!!!"
13) "Al Gore scares the heck out of me."
14) "What do you mean I'm never around ?"
15) "DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!!!"
16) "You kids with your low riding pants."
17) "GROSS !!! I just stepped in yellow snow."
18) "Do you smell carrots?"
19) "Give the hat back to baby new year."
20) "You know how you get brain freeze when you eat ice cream to fast? Well that's how I feel all the time."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Our relationship has gone cold.
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

You're not really going to wear THAT, are you?
Good, but I liked the wording of the runner-up better.
Philip Blue, Pleasant Garden

"Because of global warming, the only cold place to take a vacation now is Florida....
PAULA HAIRSTON

What are you doing back from the North Pole? Too warm?
PAULA HAIRSTON

You get the cute button nose and I become pinnochio!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I'm starting to regret the nose job."
"I didn't know she was made for you."
"Do you smell carrots?"
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

Why Thank you! I lost thirty pounds by sitting in the sun.
Christine Keaton, Randleman
cute.

"Oh Frosty, have you been to the strip cube again?
Steve Gray, Greensboro

I know you have a cold, but I"m not fixing you a bowl of hot chicken soup.
Roger Stratton, Greensboro

What do you mean you are not sticking around long? What about the children?
Linda Stratton, Greensboro

Where did you put my hat and scarf? It is cold out here.
Linda Stratton, Greensboro
cute

Yeah, I put on a few holiday pounds, but I'll fit in my bikini by May.
JOAN LUX, GREENSBORO

"Honey, you make me melt, so Stop!"
"If Gore ran for president then we wouldn’t have to be puddles"
"If the same kid made us then aren’t we related? If so I want a divorcé"
"You got the cute button nose and all I got was these moldy carrot"
"Why did you steal the last cartoon’s hat?"
"Why did you get me these cheap charcoals and try and pass them as genuine Kingsfords?"
"O' my gosh, You went Kingsfords."
"I wish Jake would make me a little more curvy"
"A night by the fire isn’t what I would call romantic"
"Global-Warming is making us extinct and you just sit around throw snowballsat cars!"
Park Groves, Greensboro

" I never have anything to wear!"
Pauline Cobrda, Greensboro

"Brrrrrrr, I'm freezing my snowballs off!"
Jonathan Cobrda, Greensboro (age 17)

"Don't give me that snow job, Frosty!"
Bob Jenkins, Asheboro

"Why are you giving me the cold shoulder?"
Jack Alford

l. I'm melting, melting, oh what a world, what a world.
2. You know when the sun shines we are out of here.
3. Kiss me quick, I'm melting already.
4. But, I don't want to move to Florida, lets go to Alaska.(sound familiar)
5. Is that Baby New Years hat?
6. I don't have anything to wear.
7. What are you staring at?
8. Naked is Good.
9. Frosty, you're looking HOT.
10. You melt my heart.
11. If I can't have something new to wear, I just won't go.
12. Those kids need an anatomy lesson.
13. I didn't get a belly button.
14. You didn't get a mouth.
15. Why are you giving me the silent treatment?
15. I need a nose job.
16. You're all dressed up, are you going somewhere?
17. I only need two buttons on my chest.
18. Silence is golden.
19. The hat's too small and stripes are out this year.
20. Are you running for President?
21. I'm having hot flashes, it must be global warming. ( You know it causes all our woes)
22. Why are your hands on you hips like that?
23. Well at least we aren't as fat as Santa.
24. Frosty, I'm running for President you can be my Bill?(couldn't resist)
25. We don't need diet resolutions our extra pounds will just melt away.
26. Let is snow, let it snow, let it snow. 27. The colder the better, don't you agree?
27. Well nobody lives forever.
28. I wish I could go in for a cup of cocoa.
29. Tell me the truth do I look fat.
30. How can we run and play, we don't have feet?
31. Why do they use coal for buttons don't they know there is an oil shortage?!
32. Stop giving me the cold shoulder.
33. When are we going to have a baby?
34. Don't just stand there do something!
35. Think about the puddles we'll make some day soon.
Nancy Nelson Greensboro

No. not the North Pole this year. We want to try summering in Antartica.
Andy Ralston-Asumendi, Greensboro

"I told you not to vote for Hilary!"
Susan Thompson, Reidsville

"You know, I think it does make you look thinner."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. What global warming??
2. Does this snow make me look fat?
3. Yes I did see all the accidents this morning!
No name given

"Forget it-no one is making snow cream out of me"
"I'd stop the world and melt with you."
"What? You're leaving me for a snow cone?"
Sandy Southard, Greensboro

"Don't get cranky with me. You're the one who decided to quit smoking cold turkey."
"Don't get cranky with me. You're the one who decided to quit cold turkey."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

Honey, I said we are not going, I have nothing to wear!
Randy Payne, Greensboro

"No, I'm not cold, I'm FREEZING!"
"Global warming my behind!"
"Tell Al Gore I got his global warming right here!"
"I traded my hat and scarf for this carrot. I think I got gypped?"
"When are they gonna make some snowWOMEN!?"
"Well La De Da! Aren't you snug in your little hat and scarf?"
"Well La De Da, Frosty's got himself a new hat and scarf!"
"Well La De freakin' Da, you've got yourself a hat and a scarf!" [In my best Chris Farley voice.]
"A top hat...really!?"
"Where are you going dressed like Mr. Monopoly?"
"The top hat is a tad pretentious, don'tcha think?"
"Don't you know it's better to look good than feel good."
"Yeah, well I'd rather freeze than wear that silly hat!"
"You better not ask if it's cold enough for me!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Must be tough being the best dressed one in the Trailer Park huh?"
"Why do you ALWAYS have to dress up for even the simpliest occasions?"
"You're just trying to make me look bad..."
"I see SOMEBODY went shopping..."
"Ooo-Oooh...matching hat and scarf...aren't WE all fancy-schmancy..."
"The invitation said that it was casual attire..."
"The arms they found for you this year make you look all bossy and cranky..."
"The sign said 'Shirt and Shoes Required', now what?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

Of course I am Frosty....I am naked!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

I have a yellow spot?? Oh my goodness!! Where?! Where??!!
Bill how can you say Monica was warmer than me?
What do you think of having frozen dinners tonight?
Yes, I am your date...and yes, I am known as the Ice Queen!
Do you want to make snow angels?
Sure you get a cute button nose and I get a bird perch.
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"For Pete's sake Carl, they all know you have a dandruff problem."
"And it really brings out those yellow, sulfur flecks in your coal eyes."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

See, I told you mom always liked you best!
Randy Payne, Greensboro
Something about this one appealed to me.

"Show me the magic!!"
"Frosty, nice hat but where is the broomstick!"
"We have been placed on the endangered species list!"
"Don't eat the yellow snow!"
"It's hopeless, my folks won't let me marry a button-nose snowman!"
"Is there life after melltaway?"
"Hot date at the sauna. No way!!"
"I have this nightmare that I was turned into grape snowcones!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Is that hat magic?
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Global warming can't be all bad. I lost 10 pounds this month and never even felt hungry.
Nancy Stevens, Jamestown

But I don't want to move to Florida
Don Rankin Greensboro
Don adds: "I borrowed this from Bob Mannary, last weeks cartoon"
Hee hee. I think it works here, too.

"Yeah, so I got my button raised. Next week, I'm getting the nose fixed."
Eric Thies, Harrisonburg, Va.
Eric says: "Now, I don't live in greensboro any more, haven't since about 1991, but I did live there for about 20 years, and my parents and sisters still live there! Keep up the great work with this blog!
Thanks, Eric. I certainly will try, but it's entries like yours that make it worth reading.

How can you stand that hat and scraf? I'm about to melt.
Louise Hudson, Randleman

1) "Remember your vow , Till spring does us part."
2) "So what do you plan to do this summer?"
3) "And I thought Hillary was cold."
4) "You don't have to tell anybody that you're part sleet."
5) "Like it matters, we are all going to be just a puddle one day anyhow."
6) "Governer Easley just asked everyone to cut back to 2 layer snowmen."
7) "So where do you go during the summer, Frosty?"
8) "Someone just confused me for Hillary."
9) "How come we can't remember anything before the last snowfall?"
10) "Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

1: I told you to stop picking your nose.
2: What the matter? You been poking around those bunnies again?
Malcolm Macphee, Greensboro

You need to loose weight, your belly button is nearly on the ground.
Heck of a nose job ya got there, Roy
You definitely need to get contact lenses cause with that nose, there ain't no way you can wear glasses.
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

"My fly's unbuttoned? Thanks!"
"I miss North Carolina!"
"Isn't that scarf a little... suicidal?"
"Life IS worth living! Take off the scarf and let's talk about this!"
"Man, I'm glad we weren't made yellow again this year."
"I'm going to work out this year and be an abdominal snowman."
"My wife is giving me the warm shoulder again."
Eli Oklesh, Greensboro
I liked the last one - a runner-up finalist

"I was just born and already I'm fat and look like I'm 43."
"Can you keep Fido away from me"
"Do I have yellow snow on my back?"
"Do these coals make me look fat?"
"My arms are like twigs"
"Frosty, you would melt in Hollywood"
Park Groves Greensboro

Here's my entry for this week's cartoon:
"I got fired from my last snow job."
(OK, I know you can't print this one, but...)
"They said I did a sloppy snow job..."
"My wife left me for Frosty. She said he had a better snow job."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"When my wife said she wanted two carrots for Christmas, how was I supposed to know she meant a ring??"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
A runner-up contender

"Snappy dresser."
"You didn't tell me this was Formal!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
Liked the "formal" one

"My wife keeps stealing all my carrots!"
"The nerve! This guy asked if he could shovel my driveway!"
"I'm getting goosebumps!!"
"My wife says I don't give her goosebumps any more."
"My wife says that I'm cold natured."
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"I think my wife is frigid."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Are you the new branch manager?
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I hear that Global Warming might cost me an arm and a leg."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Just what IS a snow balls chance in Heck?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Have you heard about the Global Warming Diet?? They say the pounds just melt away!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Frankly, a cold day in Heck sounds good to me!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"You gave up smoking??"
(ya know.....no corn cob pipe...) (follow with "pah dump ching!" if you like)
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
CC awarded herself the "OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE AWARD" and rightly so, as she included the lyrics to "Frosty the Snowman" to back up one of her captions.
And not just once. Not even twice - but THREE copies total of the Frosty lyrics.
Sheesh! You sure you're not my wife writing under a pseudonym?

"Gosh, I hope Al Gore's not right."
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"I think my wife is frigid."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I'm a vegetarian."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1. You have a hat and scarf and I am freezing.
2. Every winter you wear a top hat but I never get to wear my Easter bonnet.
3. For the last time, moving to Arizona would not be better for our health.
4. What did the little girl's Mom mean, "Don't eat the yellow snow?"
5. What's a sno cone?
6. Have you been injecting yourself with steroids?
7. You better lay off the sno cones.
8. Your fly is unbuttoned.
9. Let's name our first born "Frosty."
10 The tests are back, I'm expecting a snowball.
11. I lost my hat, gloves, and scarf playing poker.
12. You have a nice nose and I look like Pinocchio.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"It's not my birthday Frosty."
Phil Valla, Greensboro
Paging Bob Mannary ...

1 "The airline sent them to Miami."
2 "My cat unraveled them!"
3 "That's the last time I'll use that dry cleaner."
Catherine Moore, Thomasville

"I'll stop the world and melt with you."
"I'm weary of the Rock Salt Diet side effects."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"I didn't say frigid. I said I valued our friendship."
"Yes, I know you're not fake. I just thought maybe the artificial snow
machine came around."
"No, that scarf does not make you look fat!"
"I said you looked fluffy, not fat!"
"Your belly already has a button, so a piercing would be overkill."
"I did say you put on a little weight, but hey, it snowed last night!"
"Well, snowfalls do go straight to your hips!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
Like the last two -good theme -

SNAIL MAIL
"They say no two of our body cells are alike."
(Max explains that snowflakes would be a snowmans "cells"
"I wanted a new friend but he gave me the cold shoulder."
"With you wearing that hat and scarf, I feel naked."
"Thanks! That's mighty white of you."
"Global warming might make our species extinct!"
Max Harless, High Point

"The first one stole my hat, then my scarf went. I was so scared I froze."
Linda S. Freeman, Greensboro

"I want to talk to you about the electric blanket you got me for Christmas."
"I'm going to the sauna and try to lose a few pounds."
"Frank Freeman, Greensboro