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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

(Sorry this posting is late. I was swamped last week.)
This week's mussings: The worst part of doing this feature is how many good entries I have to throw out. Quite a few of you astute observers noticed the amount was the same as the price of a stamp. "Change" as a political buzzword was the most common response. I'm embarrassed to say a few entries had me Googling. And although it was too "inside the beltway," my favorite was this from Gray Amick: "Tim Rickard's street value for this week's effort." You're being generous.
Also, someone wrote me about the frequency of some of the winners. I'll run the questions and my answers here, in case anybody else was wondering the same thing:

Q Is Bob Mannary your brother or something?
His name is ALWAYS in the paper.

A Believe me, I'm not happy about it either. I know what this will do to this contest if the same people keep winning over and over. In fact, I tend to discriminate against frequent winners/runner-ups which is why I always have others here in the newsroom who aren't familiar with names help pick. They pick based on what they think are the funniest and "the regulars" often come out on top. I've even over-ruled some of the newsroom's picks in order to get some fresh names in. But it boils down to what we think is funniest, and if it is one of the regulars, then we have no choice but to pick it. I have considered a moratorium on frequent winners, but decided to keep the contest based on simply what we think is funniest each week, regardless of who sent it in or how often they've won.

Q He is really not that funny.

A Well, we obviously disagree. Humor is a matter of taste. And it's also a matter of presentation, and this is where the regulars have the advantage.
The subtlest nuances of wording can make the biggest difference in how well a gag works. And this is where the "regulars" excel. Even cartoons where a lot of similar captions are submitted it's usually the way they are worded (does it sound conversational?, is there an economy of words, effective phrasing, proper emphasis, etc) that gives them the edge. I know from one of the frequent winner/runner ups that he wanted to be a cartoonist at one time. This probably explains his knack for writing captions.
But I can say the quality of captions overall has greatly improved over the last year. I used to have trouble finding decent captions to fill up the three runners-up spots. Now, the runners up spots include about seven captions and I still have to painfully exclude at least a half-dozen worthy contenders each week.

Q (H)e obviously doesn't have a real job.
A Based on the number of entries he submits each week I've wondered the same thing.
So there you have it. Like anything, some people will have more of a knack for writing captions than others. We do have some ringers entering every week, but think how good it will feel when you beat them. And they do get beat more often than they win.

And one last thing: If someone wins, or gets runner-up with a caption that was very similar to yours, you can bet that theirs got to me first.

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCES:
"All he said was, "I'm gonna get you Abe!!!" then snickered like a madman and hung up the phone. Caller ID said Jim Kolbe..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
(This one sent me to Google. Kolbe is the representative who introduced legislation to get rid of the penny.)
"And this scar here is from ' 64 when they took out my silver."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

BEST INSIDE JOKE
The above mentioned Gray Amick caption was the clear winner here.

WINNER
"You just HAD to look the other way on picture day didn't ya Abe???"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
Guys, there goes one cheap tipper!
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"Shouldn't you be at the bottom of a well somewhere?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Nice tan, Abe."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

The game is penny-anti. Abe, you in?
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

My wife says I spend too much time in the couch....
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Whew -- who spent too much time with a perfumed dryer sheet?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Why does Obama keep talking about us?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"I'll only admit to being the root of one-fourth of all evil."
Kris Voy, Trinity

THE REST
It's time for change!
Joe Markley

"Logo for not-so-famous rap star, Forty One Cent"
Linda East, Greensboro
I liked this one. A contender.

"Now that we're all here, this does makes cents"!
Doug Clayton, Mcleansville

A sad day, Penny, when you aren't picked up on a street corner.
Just last week I avoided getting rolled.
For want of a needle and thread, we've been set free.
They're not going to nickel and dime us to death, except maybe you, Penny.
If you jingle louder you'll spend less time in the washing machine.
Nowadays we're spent mostly on wretched sales taxes.
We're moving -- the old man got a new change purse.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Okay, boys, if we pull together, we can buy a "forever" stamp."
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE

Watch out, here comes that old penny-pincher.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"In May we'll have to have another Lincoln join us to buy a stamp."
Glenda Layton, Carthage

Can you make "cents" of this?
Ken Layton, Carthage

1. Correct change here !
2. Real change !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"A penny for your thoughts...oh, wait."
"It's time for change."
"Quit trying to nickel-and-dime me."
"A penny more and we'd have the answer to life."
Eric Thies, Harrisonburg

1. No small change here !
2. Postage due.
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1. We need more change.
2. Do we have enough to buy Tim a doughnut?
3. The new quarters are being collected, while I get tossed in the can.
4. Change is good!
5. How many of you just end up in a jar or the bottom of someones purse?
6. We aren't even worth fifty cents.
7. Abe, where you been hiding these past 99 years.
8. Lets ban together and let them know how powerful we are.
9. It doesn't make CENTS that they don't use us more.
10. It they'd use us more, their dollars would last longer.
11. A penny saved is a penny earned, but only if they take us to the bank.
12. Cha-ching. 13. I wonder where they'll put us today.
14. Politicians always need more change.
Nancy Nelson, Greensboro

"United, we can still buy one first-class stamp"
Thurmond Williams, Greensboro

Heads up for cents with common sense !
Frank C. Leonard, Jr., Lexington

"Yeah...Yeah...Yeah...Take A Penny Leave A Penny...So What?!?!?"
"No Abe, how many legs WOULD a dog have if you called its tail a leg?"
"'Four Bucks And Seven Cents Ago ' is just not the same..."
"Four Bucks And Seven Cents Ago...ha, ha...since 1909 it's been the SAME lame jokes..."
"Keep it up Abe and your gonna find yourself sitting on the train tracks!"
"You might be bigger in the Paper World but right here I'M in charge!"
"Well you really CAN'T give us your two cents now CAN you?!?!?"
"Your two cents huh? Don't make me laugh..."
"In case you haven't heard they're trying to phase you out buddy..."
"Why don't you just look the other way Abe?"
"All he said was, "I'm gonna get you Abe!!!" then snickered like a madman and hung up the phone. Caller ID said Jim Kolbe..."
"Oh quit whining...you're not being picked on..."
"See A Penny Pick It Up...blah blah blah...your SO full of yourself..."
"Yeah...A Penny Saved IS A Penny Earned...but what can you buy with a Penny?"
"Well Abe...we all think it's time for a liitle change around here..."
"We want to go that way Dang It!"
"No we do NOT feel compelled to free the enslaved coins from the Coinstar machine..."
"If I had a penny for every time I heard THAT one..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

YOU GUYS JUST AREN'T WORTH MUCH ANY MORE - YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH GOOD CENTS.......
Wil Courter, Greensboro

1) "Maybe I didn't get shot but I did spend the last two weeks in a dog's stomach."
2) "That fancy paper money is just a fad."
3) "Four of history's greatest leaders and we end up lost in a couch."
4) "Lincoln's so ugly that I can't tell if he's on heads or tails . "
5) "Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put in your two cents worth, someone is making a penny. "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Numbers one and three were also contenders. Five was good but sounds familiar...

Now I only need $2.59 more to get a gallon of gas.
Regina Scott, Greensboro

"Finally, all of those nasty greenbacks will go back for taxes. Now people just want change."
Buth Tysinger, Thomasville

"Look at me. I'm the father of the country and people use me to buy gumballs!"
"I remember back in the good ol' days when I was actually worth 25 cents!"
"Just look at us. FDR was paralyzed, Abe was shot, Tommy Boy here knocked up a slave, and me, the 'Father of the Country', couldn't even knock ol' Martha up!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
I liked the first one.

OK, which one of you 2 dropped the dime on me?
Darrell Kimrey, Greensboro
Nice one. A contender

"Susan B. Anthony would roll over in her piggy bank if she knew the value of today's dollar!"
"At least people pick ME up off the sidewalk!"
"Y'all expect me to know everything, but I'm not Almighty Dollar!"
"When I heard that BEEP, I knew an old geezer on the beach had just sprung me from a worthless life!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
the second one was also a contender

"Change you can believe in !!!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Looks like another Lincoln is moving into the neighborhood; the price of stamp is on the move again!!
Shirley Wyzga-Johnson, Greensboro

"Okay guys, repeat after me. The word is 'CHANGE'!
Chris Myott, Eden

"BEEP BEEP! And then, boys and girls, I knew an old geezer had found me at last!"
"What's your final destiny: gas station or grocery store?"
"Kids, I remember when recession used to mean gum disease."
"Such pressure... Congress expects US to turn the economy around!"
"All our kinfolk now live in the gas station or grocery store."
"If I were a supermodel, I wouldn't want to be paid with me either!"
Kris Voy, Trinity
I liked where the first one was going. Maybe a change in wording ...

"Anyone give a flip?"
Susan Rikert, Greensboro

Among the four of us we have enough change to buy ONE stamp.
John Collie, Reidsville

I'm the GREATEST!!!!
Nancy Collie, Reidsville

"We're change you can believe in"
"Watch out, I see a copperhead"
Craven Peay, Summerfield
I liked the copperhead one.

Three more bucks and I can buy a gallon of gas.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

This is it, my rebate check after eating out.
Don Rankin
Nice

WEW!! We need some laundering....
Mount who?
So this is what history says we are worth...
Mr. Lincoln it appears you really did lose the war...
Who just got minted?
I deserve better than someones smelly pockets!
Sad we are now just spare change....
Some change for your thoughts guys...
Christine Keaton, Randleman

These days, everybody wants CHANGE. Come on, guys, "Let's Roll."
Karen Griffin, Thomasville

"I propose we buy a stamp while we still can."
"Abe, it takes two of you to offer an opinion."
"Where is JFK?"
Brent Wooten, Thomasville
The one about abe and his opinion was a contender.

"...and never forget...I AM the candidate who stands for change."?
Cindy Reginaldi, Greensboro

"We're in luck! All the candidates want change.
J. R. Fleagle, Greensboro
nice

"Abe, I don't know what you're using but your tan looks so fake."
"Of course I want to date again but I've been out of circulation."
"Where's the carpenter's glue, my dentures are shwipping."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
The first two made the short list.

"You guys are Obama delegates? I told him you were change he could believe in."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Abe, I think you're confusing harassment with good old fashioned penny pinching."
"Yes, boys at first we were a whole dollar but remember, taxes have to be paid."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

I didnt ask for your two cents Lincoln! your not worth it!!
I wonder if we'll ever be worth a Pine Tree Schilling ...
christine Keaton, Randleman

I heard we will all get some billing ...
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you get to raise taxes.
Abe, you represent Guilford County's share of every lottery dollar.
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown
Sharon adds: "Maybe the second one isn't so funny, but too true!"
hee hee.

Opening the bidding at 25, do I hear 30? 30! now 35! 40! 40 40 going...41!
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"You had to be different"
"Does anyone have change for a penny, oh wait"
"That side is better than looking at your mole"
"Pwned n00b, your only worth a cent! LoL"
".and did you establish a new nation? No"
"That's your good side?"
"BULLY CIRCLE!!!"
"You don't even get your birthday off"
"They don't have give a quarter take a quarter"
-Park Groves Greensboro
Park, your first one was very good, but I think it needed to be just a wee bit more specific to Abe.
the "Bully Circle" one intrigued me. If it means what it sounds like, it could have been a contender. But, alas, I'm not familiar with the term and a Google search didn't really help me out.

"Whew, I don't know about you guys but I'm spent."
"I regret I only have twenty five cents to give to my national debt."
"Look, up in the bell tower. The Euros are coming. The Euros are coming."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"My gosh. I never knew George Hamilton was on the penny."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Nice one, Joel, but maybe just a wee bit obscure. I liked the bluntness of Brent's in the runner-ups.

"And this scar here is from ' 64 when they took out my silver."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Nice.

"Shot in the head and all you get is a penny, huh?"
"I saw 'Our American Cousin', be glad you were shot."
"Give me your two cents. Oh yeah, you can't even do that."
"We make perfect cents."
"So they don't mean us when they discuss change?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Some nice ones here.

"I don't care if you are a "Wheatie", your're going across these railroad tracks first".
Ray Faust, Greenboro

15. Children used to get excited when they saw us, now they frown.
16. Toothfairies don't even use us anymore.
17. Coins R Us.
18. Maybe we will be thrown in that fountain and bring someone some luck.
19. You can count on us.
20. We can be recycled for years to come.
21. Presidents on coins, what a bright idea?
22. It's a honor to be here today.
23. Money talks.
24. Our goverment needs CHANGE.
25. Since all of us old coins are together someone needs to place us in a collectors book.
26. We have all been replaced by newer models maybe now we can retire.
27. It's time for Change!
28. I don't like being put in a mans linty pocket.
29. The time has come for Change.
30. Ban together and we can end poverty.
31. Do they have an old folks home for coins.
3. I hope they don't send us to the bank.
Nancy Nelson
liked number 16.

1. "Let's coin a new phrase."
2. "I would never leave you laying on the ground Abe."
3. "This is jar prison."
4. "Why do I keep thinking of "The Brady Bunch"?
5. "Here we are feeling rather tense, hoping to make a dollar out of forty-one cents."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"George's weekly pay."
George Cornett, Greensboro
Hee hee. Mine too.

Hey has anyone seen Kennedy?
Randy Payne, Greensboro

1."So what you were on Ebay, You're still not worth a penny.
2."See, I told you we were facing in the right direction, now you are the one not worth one red cent."
3."Look Abe, even if they made you out of silver, you still would not be worth a dime."
4."So what you have a memorial, you are still not worth anything."
5."All I know is Bush signed some stimulis package and here we are."
Paula Hairston, Greensboro

Guys! We must support Obama! He's for change! We ARE change!
G. A. Rilling Madison

We still need three dollars for a cup of coffee.
Well, off to the coin jar for us.
"Whatever happened to Susan B Anthony?"
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro
I liked number three

1) "Even with two Democrats and a Republican still in this race, none of you even put together will ever be as great as me."
2) "The country needs change!"
3) "This is why I never joined a political party -- each of you cares more about winning than the good of the country"
4) "You realize that I'm the only thing that still buys something around here."
5) "It wasn't that many President's Days ago that the four of us together could buy a cup of coffee."
6) "From agents of change to change itself, such is the legacy of a great President."
7) "Hey Rickard, why did you only feature dead white guy coins?"
8) "All Presidents are elected equal but some are more equal than others."
9) "Hey guys, sorry to break this to you but Nixon will be joining us in 2016." (a reference to the Nixon dollar coin).
10) "I think we should protest. We each only get one dollar coin to be on, but Grover Cleveland gets TWO."
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point
Some history lessons imbeded in here: Washington was the only president representd who didn't belong to a party, The omission of Sacagawea or the Susan B. Anthony dollar coins, and coming soon, all presidents will get their own dollar coins.

"I would never date loose change!"
Kris Voy, Trinity

This cartoon make little cents!
Cheer up Abe, copper futures are through the roof!
On three we flip and moon them
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
I liked the last one too.

Come on, Jefferson! Keep your head up like Lincoln and Roosevelt!
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

"Okay guys this is a bust.....just kidding"
scott smith, mcleansville

"Here we go with the CHANGE again!"
"Change, change, change! That's all we hear!"
"Change! That's all we Talking Heads talk about!"
"The financial meeting of the talking heads is now in session."
"Looks like none of you are paying attention except Abe"
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"Heads up, guys!"
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

I see Susan B. Anthony isn't here.
So who bet on heads?
I know we ALL wish we could be State quarters.
I was raised in Las Vegas.
Joan Lux, Greensboro
You were on a roll this week Joan. I liked number two a lot also.

1. "We're under the pillow because even the Tooth Fairy is cutting back."
2 "Hey guys, what happened to the penny postcard?"
3. "We used to be able to buy a gallon of gas in 1975."
4. "Soon we will be adding another member to the family for a stamp."
5. "Hey nickel, how come you're fatter but worth less than the dime?"
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

What do you mean dead men don't talk?
Money talks bull **** walks.
See guys! Dead President's can talk !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

This doesn't make much cents.
How much "cents" does this make?
Joey Preston, Greensboro

"You guys aren't making much cents."
Valla, Philip E

"Hey Abe, how does it feel freeing the slaves and then finding out that the brown coin is worth the least?"
"Why do old men keep asking young boys to reach in their pockets to grab us?"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
Hee hee.

" ... and none of you are John Kennedy."
"Can you picture Clinton, Obama, or McCain here some day?"
"At least I can still buy something."
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro
Number 3 is good

1. Looks like our jobs are safe for a few more years.
2. These candidates wouldn't know change if it bit them in the pocket.
Bill White, Greensboro

Tom, just because Yogi Berra said, "A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore," that's no fault of yours.
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

"Look guys, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"How do they expect us to make a little change without any female coins?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"It's time we made a little change around here!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Look Franklin, just because the rest of us made it onto Mount Rushmore, don't feel bad. At least your cousin made it!!"
"Franklin, why can't you just be happy for the rest of us up on Mt.Rushmore?"
"Mt.Rushmore, blah, blah, blah. Franklin, most people don't even know you're not THAT Roosevelt."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"We sure don't add up to much."
"We sure aren't worth as much as we used to be."
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"I swear, they're taking us to a Numismatists' meeting!!!"
"We're either going to a numismatists or a philatelists convention...I know which sounds like more fun!!"CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"You guys are not going to believe this, but we're ALL made of copper."
"Remember the good ole days when we were made of Real metal??"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"...THen there was the time I found myself in a pig's belly. I rallied the gang until we made a break away from the bank."
"You're not going to believe this, but once I broke OUT of a bank!....so what if it was shaped like a piggy?!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hey guys, what's the going price from the Tooth Fairy these days?"
Jean Brockman & CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Heads!! It's got to mean something!!"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"My God!" We are only worth forty one cents.
"OOPS!" Looks like one of us didn't make it to Mount Rushmore.
Charles Miller, Greensboro

"I ask you, where would the panhandling industry be without us?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Look Franklin, most people don't even know that you're NOT the same Roosevelt up there on Mt.Rushmore with us!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

I'm worth more than all of you put together.
Everybody liked you Abe, until you tattooed your monument on your rear.
Face it Abe, even the vending machines don't want anything to do with you.
C. L. Sumpter, High Point
Number two was good also.

Mt. Rushmore after getting hit by satellite debris.
Keep your change Hillary.
We don't need any Hillary change.
This JOY cartoon doesn't make much cents.
Gray Amick, Greensboro

" What are the odds of the four of us meeting here again after being together in Billy's Piggy Bank???"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Currency profiling" vending machine style.
Tim Rickard's street value for this week's effort.
Gray Amick, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"If we all got our heads together, we could make a mint.
Hy Rodman, Greensboro

"A stamp? ... One stamp?
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Well guys, I never thought I had to say this ..."
Doris Brown, Ruffin

"Just be glad that vending machines are behind you."
"Habe you noticed the importance of 'change' lately?"
"Parking meter duty is the pits."
"Some heritage, We can't buy a postage stamp!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"Hey fellas, as long as we've been minted, you think that DNA can still tell on us?"
Claudine Adams, Greensboro

"Okay, fellas, let's not get a big head."
Anita Fox, Reidsville

"Sorry you guys aren't worth much anymore."
David Coatta, Greensboro

"What is McCain doing on the dime."
Susanne Coatta, Greensboro
Ha!