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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Look, down in the caption! It's a blurb! It's a pun! it's ... well, not one of our better efforts. After seeing how you made lemonade out of the last two lemons I handed you, I thought you guys could leap this drawing in a single bound, but instead it acted as kryptonite to your comedic-senses. It's not that they were bad, just fewer stood-out from the crowd.
Here are some that managed to take this mild-mannered effort from me up, up and away into a decent cartoon.

WINNER
"Guess what Sis. Beer is the new kryptonite."
Jim Honeycutt, Lexington

RUNNERS-UP
"He only gets up to use the john, oh sorry, The Fortress of Solitude."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"This morning I made a Smallville joke in the bathroom, now he's not talking to me."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"No, there's no news on the superhero strike. You'll have to stop your own speeding bullet."
Reta Beck, Greensboro

He's been like this ever since Homeland Security put him on the no-fly list.
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"Jimmy's telling Congress that he injected him twice in '92."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"More like Super-Sit-In-The-Recliner-All-Day-Man!"
Shera W. Bilisoly

THE REST
"The only place he is faster than a speeding bullet these days is the bedroom!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Everybody thinks so, but me."
Glenda Layton, Carthage

"At home he's just another couch potato."
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE

"All day he's stopping robberies, saving run-away trains, rescueing pretty blondes, but can I get him to take out the garbage? No way!"
KEN LAYTON, CARTHAGE

"Since we got high definition, he never leaves the house."
Randy Case, Madison

Hi, my name is Lois. Is this Superheroes Anonymous?
Janet Gorham

Which is the stronger sex?
James O. Durham, Greensboro

"I just got our last one out of diapers and now this!"
"The Viagra label never mentioned this!"
"Did our marriage vows say anything about sanity and insanity?"
"Did our marriage vows include 'in right mind' or 'in total delusion'?"
"He just keeps saying, 'More Kryptonite, please.' "
"He wants to start a Victoria's Secret men's catalog."
"If he calls me Lois one more time..."
"I'm just not feeling this week's theme!"
"He ought not to be messing with a woman in the throes of PMS!"
His boss told him it would take heroic measures to save his job!"
Kris Voy, Trinity

1) "Turns out a wedding band acts like kryptonite to him."
2) "Mom said I should have married Batman. At least he has his own car."
3) "Superhero is just another way of saying unemployed."
4) "I wish he had the ability to wash the dishes."
5) "The way he drinks, his liver must have the strength of ten men."
6) "I love him to death, but I can't stand his Superfriends."
7) "He's been wearing that costume so long that it has it's own superpowers."
8) " Lex !!! I told you to never call me here!"
9) "Funny how there is never an emergency during Monday Night Football."
10) "If he leaves the seat up one more time, he's getting kryptonite in his coffee."
11) "Clark never answers his phone anymore."
12) "Since the wedding he been the man of STILL!"
13) "If he doesn't start helping out around here, he can take a flying leap in a single bound."
14) "He can see through walls, but he can't see that pile of laundry that needs to be done."
15) "He's bullet proof, but make one joke about his tights and cape!!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"These days, even the Hall of Justice is outsourcing."
"His severence package is pretty good though."
Lisa Smith, Pleasant Garden

Did You Know Superman Drinks Energy Drinks?
Herman Hunter Sr, High Point

It wasn't just the honeymoon that was faster than a speeding bullet.....
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Hello Jimmy....Do you have any kryptonite handy?
It's Lois...married life is dull. Can you send Lex to spice it up?
His "S" stands for "Standard" issue in husbands.
Christine Keaton, Randleman

I thought this Superman fetish wouldn't enter the bedroom....
and most therapists laugh at "You Tarzan me Jane"....
Superman is busy right now ...
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Normally I wouldn't worry, but he keeps going out to check the wind speed.
Mom, do you have any clear nail polish? He has another run.
Cyril keeps trying to live up to his childhood nickname.
I didn't take it seriously until he started calling me "Lois."
Yes, Mother, he'll take out the trash after he changes into his khakis.
Doctor, tonight he started looking not so super.
I don't know how he'll get lift-off with the tush he's developing.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

Stop a speeding bullet, huh. I had to pop the top.
It's those elf-like shoes that I find suspect.
Super, schmooper, he's a party pooper!
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"No, I'm not interested in a home security system."
"Saves the world, hmph! I can't even get him to take out the trash."
"He's really let this Superdelegate thing go to his head."
"You'll have to call back after Super Friends is over."
"It's been four months since Halloween and he's still wearing the suit."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

HE'S BEEN OUT OF WORK EVER SINCE DR. PHIL SHOWED EVERYONE HOW TO SAVE THEMSELVES.
w courter

No special plans, just another fantasy weekend at home.
No, Mom, the "S" stands for "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Ever since he got laid off at the Daily Planet, he just sits around watching Oprah all day!"
Bill Brown, Greensboro

He said, "Tax season only makes jumpers and he can't save them all !"
He said," he isn't moving "Dancing With the Stars " is on and he wanted
to see who was wearing capes this year !"
Well "American Idol" just came on and he trying to calculate how many he
will have to give and reality check to!
Catherine Duke, Kernersville

No moisture causes chaffing and drag on his cape!
Mom he said, "even if you were the last women on earth he wasn't going there!"
Catherine Duke

ALERT THE PRESSES! Man of Steel Becomes a Couch Potato..
Jennifer Brown-Whiteside, Randleman

He's waiting for the writer's strike to be over. He's tired of watching re-runs of himself.
Tom Luibrand

Hello, do you have any furniture that's more powerful than a locomotive?
Can you remove Kryptonite stains from upholstery?
I think you would agree Tony Soprano is no comparison, Dr. Melfi.
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

I've already hidden the "Walter Mitty" book AND the DVD.
If only his mother hadn't named him "Casper M. Toast."
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Sorry Peter, Clark is being a Super-Couch potato"
"Sorry Mr Jamison, Clark has that Superflu bug."
"The Patriots loss has left Clark feeling vulnerable."
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro

1. He did what?
2. Super what?!
3. I was awake all night with his constantly coming in and out.
4. FLY, I can't get him out of his chair.
5. Looks like we're going to be late again.
6. He can't talk now. 7. He hasn't changed his clothes in days.
8. I'm going to CHANGE That S to a D for DUD. 9. His job is destroying our relationship.
10. He may be Superman but I'm not Wonder Woman. 12. Someone has to work around here.
13. The S stands for Stupid not Super.
14. He needs to borrow Cliff's helmet.
15. I really could use Cliff's Stupidity Depreviation helmet.
16. I can't sleep with him going in and out all night.
Nancy Nelson

"Well yesterday, it took him two bounds to jump over the tallest building."
"He's lost his glasses so now, of course, his cover's blown."
"He's just sitting here, staring through the wall."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Liked number two a lot

"Old Mr. Perkins in 4E fell today and well, he called LifeAlert."
"Not now Jimmy, it took me all afternoon to get him mild mannered again."
"Yes the waiter lost his eye but Clark couldn't just let Jimmy choke."
"The cartoonist at The Daily Planet beat Clark for employee of the month."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"All that agony and pain and anguish. Tomorrow, he's quitting that paper."
"According to the candidates, now everyone will have access to him."
"Yes they got the t.v, too, so now he's watching the neighbor's set."
"Oh yes, he's always been a big Red Sox fan."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

Just my luck, TV is the source of his superpowers.
Yesterday he's a super-delegate. Today he's saving the world.
Nancy Stevens, Jamestown

"Marge, I think my husband is taking this 'Super Delegate' thing too far."
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

He's more like "Stupor Man" today.
Joey Preston, Greensboro

"Yeah, Sal, He's not super at that either."
James R. Pitcher, Greensboro

17. He's sitting here trying to figure out what to name Fox's Gopher Cam.
18. No he hasn't rescued those businessmen on that deserted island yet.
19. If I can get his attention, I will send him to help with Godzilla.
20. No he doesn't shoot arrows into politicians.
21. He's allergic to cats so he won't be at their meeting.
22. The S stands for SLOB not STUD.
23. The stork dropped the babies, I'll sent him right away.
24. The S stands for Snake in the Grass.
25. He trying use his super powers to help his favorite team win.
Nancy Nelson

Sorry, Batman, he's worn out from saving the planet today. You and Robin will have to handle Gotham City.
Bill Briggs, Greensboro

Honestly! Superman and Joe were comparing tights to nylons!!
Supermans......chaffed with my new detergent....
Alert the Presses! Man of Steel becomes Man of Sqeal at the foul line!
Headline! Superman fumbles home Touch Down!
Martha, did you line dry Supermans tights?
Christine Keaton, Randleman

You should see my "man of steel" now.
Every time Bob starts drinking, he puts on that stupid superman outfit.
Halloweens been over for a month now and I still can't get him out of that stupid outfit.
I thought I was marrying a reporter, not a drunk who claims he's superman.
The only difference between your husband and mine is that mine has a cape and thinks he's superman.
My "man of steel" is drinking Pepto Bismo and complaining of a sore back.
Mom, it's the same old thing every day. First he saves the world and then he starts drinking.
If he keeps up this drinking, he won't be able to jump a sidewalk, much less leap tall buildings.
Jimmy, this is Lois. He's started drinking again and you know what that means. He'll be out racing speeding bullets before nightfall.
He's either saving the world or drinking and I can't even get him to take out the trash.
He's already saved millions of people, on his 3RD gin & tonic, and it's not even noon yet.
Mom, I've had it. He's either out saving the world or watching his precious soap operas.
You should see him now. He's stretched out in the recliner, drinking a cold one and using that x ray vision of his to watch that new girl next door take a bath.
Every time Bob starts drinking, he puts on that stupid superman outfit and pretends he's just saved the world.
Mitch Poole, Nashville, Tn.

Ha, right now he couldn't slow a Lionel.
He's so tight, he couldn't leap a sidewalk.
He's so smashed, he couldn't jump a rope.
It looks like another FWI citation night.
He already has 2 FWI tickets this month.
I don't know who he is. He just flew in the window and said he needed a drink.
Mitch, Nashville, TN.

I don't care WHO'S trying to take over the world. He's not leaving this house until he finishes the laundry!!!!!!!
Roy Lawrence

I'm sorry but in his condition we can't risk him getting another F. W. I.
Donna Lawrence, High Point

Super-man, "Yea Right" Super-lazy
Donna Lawrence, High Point

"I think Jim's taking this 'superdelegate' concept a little too far."
"Superman, he may be, but Superspoiled, he definitely is."
"You would think a man who can lift a car with one hand could lift a finger to do the dishes."
"Ever since he found out that you have to be a Democrat to be a Superdelegate, he's been like this."
"He told me that since he's Superman, he expects me to be Wonder Woman."
"Hello, Wives of Cosplay Addicts Anonymous?"
"Fred is so lazy he still won't change out of his Halloween costume -- and it is February."
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

1.. Hello , Justice League pyscho ward ?
2...Hello, Lazy Boy !
3... My "Honey Dew" list is never long enough ......
4.. Hello, Jonathan? Where is that heavy duty cattle prod?
Christine A Keaton, Randleman

"His job was outsourced to Super Hombre."
"He was caught using his x-ray vision at a daycare."
"He's still upset I found out on our wedding night that he really is faster than a speeding bullet."
"Last year he was Wonder Woman."
"He was born with the gift of flight, but I still have to fetch his beer for him."
"I wouldn't be upset but it's January."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

25. He's trying to use his super powers to help his favorite team win.
26. When he gets up, I'll check for change.
Nancy Nelson

He was grounded for being in a "No Fly Zone".
My "Honey Do" list is never quite long enough...
Hello, Lazy Boy Company?
Hello, Justice League Psycho Ward?
He is pouting because the series is called "Smallville".
Christine Keaton, Randleman
Liked the "Smallville" reference, but here was one time a little more context would help.

27. His favorite cartoon, that would Mighty Mouse.
28. He's watching the SUPER bowl game.
29. He's wearing that S because he's watching the SUPER bowl game.
30. Watch what you say he can HEAR you?
Nancy Nelson

"Dr. Phil...It's Hillary...I think we DO need to schedule an appointment..."
"Dr. Swenson...Hillary Clinton...Have you got a minute?"
"He such a smarty pants...all I asked him to do for once was take out the trash without being asked..."
"Trust me Brenda...it's JUST a suit..."
"What's Tim wearing?? Green Lantern huh? Well that explains a lot..."
"I guess tonight I'm Louis Lane again...hope he doesn't hit his head on the ceiling fan this time..."
"I just hope he doesn't hit his head on the ceiling fan again..."
"He gives 'Faster Than A Speeding Bullet' a whole new meaning I'll tell you that much..."
"All he'll say is 'Yeah, Yeah, I'm Hip!, I'm Hip!"
"No Betty, every time the phone rings he runs out the door yelling Bee-hee-hee-HAWW-HAWW!"
"Ever since he found out about the Seinfeld thing he refuses to take the suit off..."
"Yes Brenda...I've already heard the one about Wonder Woman and the Invisible Man..."
"Sorry Steve, he can't come to the phone right now...he's in his 'Fortress Of Solitude'"
"He can leap tall buildings in a single bound but he can't manage to get his OWN drink from the kitchen..."
"He can leap tall buildings in a single bound but he can't manage to put the seat back down..."
"Yeah...tell me again WHY I should believe this is Batman calling?"
"Well this doesn't SOUND like Aquaman?"
"I'm sorry, Clark isn't in right now...can I take a message?"
"Clark Kent? No, I'm sorry...there's nobody here by that name..."
"Mrs. Kent? In Toledo? 2 kids? Traveling Salesman, huh? Well can you describe him?"
"I don't know...he says he found it on eBay..."
"He just hasn't been the same since Krypto ran away..."
"After last night I'm not exactly sure HOW he got the nickname 'Man Of Steel'"
"I don't know but if he keeps up the attitude I'm going to put Kryptonite in his underwear drawer..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

1. "He's been a funk since he saw Lebron James on tv the other night."
2."Since they brought out the 9mm automatic,and he is no longer faster than a speeding bullet,he just sits there."
Paula Hairston, Greensboro

OK,
It's been awhile....
"Yea Mom, I know...NOBODY'S good enough for me."
"He rescued me from a runaway train last week and hasn't made a move since!"
"I'm telling you Molly, Christopher Reeves had more moves than this guy...."
I'll probably go to hell for the last one.
Ric Hase
Welcome back, past winner Ric! And don't worry, others had even worse Christopher Reeves gags (see Bob Beitzel, below)

"His idea of fighting crime is making me call Crimestoppers for him."
"Mr. Man of Steel here just sits around and watches Gilmore Girls, weeping uncontrollably."
"He fights crime and battles the forces of evil, but I can't get him to take out the trash."
"Last night I kept trying to tell him that being faster than a speeding bullet doesn't make him any less of a superhero."
"He was caught using his x-ray vision near a nursing home."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

31. He creeps me out when he stares at me with those x-ray eyes.
32. Brewster, calm down Superman will not let Pal kill ALL the humans. (Just having a little fun)
33. I don't know why he's holding that can, he doesn't have a mouth.
34. Superman is not SUPERfluous.
Nancy Nelson

Here's a few for anyone who took the time to inquire about my family tree, my comedic skills, and my employment status..."He finally got his third win and I think it's gone to his head..."
"Hey Tim...Yeah...he's here. I'm sure he'll have time to write you a funny caption for your contest..."
"Well...when he's not saving the world from some diabolical madman, he's writing silly one-liners for some local cartoon contest!"
"Ever since Bob got his name in the paper he just hasn't been the same..."
"News & Record this is Tim...Hey Tim, it's Kelly, Bob wanted me to call and see if you were coming over to watch the Superman Marathon on TBS with him?"
"News & Record this is Tim...HeyTim, it's Kelly, Bob wanted me to call and see if you got the season tickets to the Panthers he sent over?"
"News & Record this is Tim...Hey Tim, it's Kelly, Bob was wondering if you had any Statue of Liberty or Talking Turtle cartoons you might be able to use next week?"
"Hey Tim, we were wondering if you and the kids were still coming Trick-or-Treating with us this year?"
"Hey Tim, Mom called and wants to know why you haven't called her lately..."
"Well...he's thinking that Joel, Eli, Brandon, Brent, Nancy, CC and he, would make a great comedy team...sort of a Justice League for Triad Comedy..."
(my apologies to any of the wonderful regulars I may have unintentionally omitted)
"Tim...I asked you not to let him win anymore and now he won't take off the suit..."
"Ever since that reader said he wasn't funny, all he does is sit in his chair and watch Boomerang..."
"Well...he thought about not entering at all this week but he didn't want to let Tim down..."
"Ever since he started his own business he has way, WAY too much free time on his hands..."
"No...he doesn't write them himself, Tyler's the brains of the outfit, Bob just writes the email and signs his name..."
Augustus Pimplepopper (Bob Mannary in disguise), Greensboro
(aka Robert Rickard, aka Angelo Donatello, aka Wanda Lipschitz, aka Guido Carmagucci, aka Poindexter Zippleton, aka Bonnie Clydsdale, aka Butch Sundance, aka Lou Abbot, aka Bud Costello, (I know they're backwards) aka George Takei, aka Pedro Casadia, aka Apollo Creed, aka Luke Skywalker, aka Ben Dover, aka Anita Mann, aka Seymour Butts, aka Mr. Roboto, aka Tennesee Tuxedo, aka The Big Giant Head)

"I wouldn't mind that he wants to dress up for work, but he's a plumber."
"He was found in a seedy motel room with Jimmy Olson."
"All he does is drink all day and watch America's Next Top Model."
"He's trying to get on Celebrity Rehab."
"Apparently he thought he saw Lex Luthor run into a Victoria's Secret dressing room."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"For THE last TIME, I don't KNOW why SOME words ARE randomly capitalized!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
I liked the way you were thinking outside the box this week, Bob.

I buy all his clothes on sale once a year -- November 1st.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Lois, you call my husband one more time and I'm going to go all Tonya Harding on yo' ass!"
"I keep telling him that I don't care if it is a popular song, I'm not doing the 'Superman' with him."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Ever since they started making Underoos in adult sizes, I can't get him to take them off."
"The 'super' part is that he was drawn without a mouth."
"We'll see how Super he is if I can ever get him to take the costume off."
"He is just addicted to those SuperFriends reruns."
"You'd think the lawnmower was made of kryptonite."
"As if working at the newspaper weren't stressful enough!"
"I just wonder what happened to that shy, nerdy guy I married. . ."
"Let me go, time to get his 'Super Supper' started."
Shera W. Bilisoly

"He's drinking up getting ready for the Super Friends' annual Brokeback retreat."
"I don't mind the role playing, but I just get tired of having to say 'baaa' all the time."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

Hello , Imigration Services? I have an Illegal Alien ...
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Cancel the colonoscopy, he says he just can't drink it."
"He's down to his last tube of Brylcream."
"Seeing all that pain and suffering and despair. Tomorrow, he's quitting that paper."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

Now he thinks he’s been exposed to kryptonite.
Don Murinson, Greensboro

"Superman is not responsible for any problems resulting in this week's late posting"
"Sorry, he doesn't handle giant lizards"
"On a Sunday?"
"Coke just claimed his face on their bottle"
"Well you can expect a law-suit"
"Brown M&M's only this time, don't mess it up again or your fired!"
"He only likes the green jelly beans"
"It's not as great as you would think"
"He's watching NASCAR right now, can you wait an hour?"
-Park Groves Greensboro
P.S a bully circle is when a group of kids(6-7) circle a kid and push him around
That's what I thought it was, and as such, I liked it for a caption last week.

"Sorry, try calling Batman, our reruns are on TV Land."
Terry Johnson, Greensboro

Super is dejected because the Navy didn't ask him to knock out that fouled up satellite.
Max Harless, High Point

"Lately, the Man of Steel is a gross overstatment."
"Even when the city was under attack by Godzilla, he just sat there."
"Lately it seems housework is his kryptonite."
"He avoids work like it's kryptonite."
"The Man of Leisure is a more apt title these days."
"Even Christopher Reeve was more active than he is."
"I wish there was a national disaster just to get him out of the house."
"He hasn't changed his tights in days."
"I figured he was lazy. Consider his disguise, a pair of glasses."
"Lois, do you want him back."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"It was such a beautiful day that Chris decided to take the day off and go horseback riding. What could go wrong?"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden
ooooooh

Who knew?! The Man of Steel--grounded by airport security!!.
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"…with pepperoni, mushrooms, and kryptonite on one side only."
"Sorry Spiderman, he just got back from the earth’s core and is too pooped to go bowling tonight."
"Unfortunately Alice he was faster than a speeding bullet last night."
Gray Amick, Greensboro
liked the first one. goofy.

1) "For the last time Mr. Gore, he can not stop Global Warming."
2) "Even he can't save Hillary!"
3) "Yes Mrs. Kent, I still stitch his name on his tights."
4) "No grandma, he doesn't have the power to bring back Matlock."
5) "No Mr. McCain, you can not borrow his costume till November."
6) "Then he said he's had kryptonite that tasted better than my cooking."
7) "Yes Mr. Mannix, George will be home alone later. Why?"
9) "We definitely wasn't going to live in that ice cave of his!"
10) "The kids in the neighborhood keep sticking magnets on him."
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Joel, you ended up with about four captions that made the short list

"Why don't you ask Batman and Robin to bring the Kryptonite Casserole this year, you can put us down for hero sandwiches."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

He's like ANY other man. He sits around the house in his underwear drinking beer and watching TV.
Tina Gilmore

"The Man of Steel is now a Potato of Couch"
"Barely lifts a finger. Claims it's the kryptonite in the beer"
"He even wears it in bed. Believe me nothing super happens"
"He been depressed even since global warming melted his ice fortress"
"The Fab Four turned him down as dull and old"
"Lois ditched him for the Hulk"
"His flight rights have been revolked by the FAA"
Dennis LaJeunesse
The first one was a strong contender for runner-up

No, I don't need a home security system or frequent flyer miles.
Hello, I'd like to buy a phone booth.
He's depressed doctor. The PC bunch sued him for unnecessary use of force.
Sorry chief. He says he won't drink and fly.
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

1. "He just heard about the Bullet Train in Japan."
2. "It says He's more powerful than a locomotive, not the bullet train...
3. "First it was the bullet train, then Lebron James, what's next, men can't wear tights?"
Paula Hairston, Greensboro

Seriously!.....He's wearing adult Superman Underroos!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Spidey, I told you to never call me here."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hello, Spiderman,this is Lois. I think we need to do an intervention."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
I liked this one

"I'd like to order a large pizza...(sigh) Yes, the Super Special."
"I need to order a large pizza...no onions, please."
"I need to order a large pizza...no onions, he's going out later."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"No he cannot come out and play."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"I'm holding for Harry Potter. It seems that Superman's mouth has been stolen."
"Harry Potter? This is Lois Lane. Superman's mouth has been stolen."
"Dr.Miller? Superman's mouth is gone again."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hi, I'm calling for the SuperHero's Five Year Reunion. Is Aquaman there?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Lois. If this is you, either speak or stop calling."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Who should I say is calling for help?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"You say this is Spiderman calling for help?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"What do you mean his Medicare just ran out?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"He could have used the door."
"He should have used the tunnel."
"Hey! Next time, use your own shirts!"
"Do I want to know?"
"I guess he heard that the boss cut his salary."
"You see, this is why we need higher cubicles."
"Aw, shoot. another one escaped!"
"Um....."
"All i did was tell him i was gonna stop by."
"This is why we need to install invisible fences."
"He could have just quit."
"He was supposed to be doing the bosses taxes."
Jamie Biagiotti, (10) Greensboro
I think these were for an earlier 'Jokes On You' cartoon featuring an escape from a cubicle ...
perhaps you sent the wrong e-mail?

He is setting here moping because he can't find a phone boot
He is on the sauce again, thinks i spend too much time with the chief
Don Rankin, Greensboro

"Yeah, he always complaining about the reds fading into the blues."
"If I could, I would take that S off and put a C, for couch potato."
"Super? More like for supper!"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

SNAIL MAIL
"He's mad because I called John McCain a 'True American Hero.'"
"He's been this way ever since he found out 'Heroes' might be cancelled."
“Seems the only thing he’s able to lift these days is the remote.”
Charles Pruitt, Eden
The last one was a strong contender for runner-up

"I'm sorry, he's drinking and can't fly today."
"Sorry, air controllers are on strike and he can't fly today."
Bill Jones, Greensboro

"Doc, I gave him 3 doses of Viagra and he still can't get it up."
Sharon Belue, High Point

"You need him to save a Barack and a Hillary from killing each other? Will he know who they are?"
"He can't save anyone now, he is practicing for March Madness."
Sue Minor, High Point

"He can't come now, he has the flu!"
"He's in his 'Man cave' mood."
Barbara Vestal, Greensboro

"Hey L-o-i-s, guess who just flew in?"
"Not now Mom, I'm watching survivor with a friend,"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"I've had it ... between films he morphs into Stupor-man."
Bill Wallace, High Point