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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Now. I expect everyone to be on your best behavior. As you know, this feature is also a blog on the News & Record website so everything you read here, as well as ALL entries I receive, gets posted online for the world to see. Now, I've mentioned before about getting entries from other states, but I've learned that we're even being read in Israel. So we've gone international! So behave, straighten up that tie, fix your hair and take that gum out of your mouth! Sheesh! I can't take you anywhere!

WINNER
“It’s for you. George Clooney calling.”
Norman Welker, Greensboro
I don't know. It was topical, clever, we just decided on this.

RUNNERS-UP
"Sorry about your diaper. 911 still doesn’t answer."
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"Are we happy with our long distance carrier?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"It's Uncle Sam again. He wants to know if we can lend him some more money."
Mike Smith, Greensboro

"They don't make strained carrot pizza."
Jon Barsanti

I'm ordering room service, do you need a refill?
Nancy Nelson

"I don't think that was my ringtone you just heard."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

He wants to know if we want to refinance our crib?
Rick Meehan, Graham

THE REST
"Are you in?"
"Shall that I say that you're in?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"How much longer is Mama's nap time? This man says it's really important that he speak with her."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"If I just say 'Crib', do you think the Pizza Man can find us?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"It's Mom; she's forgotten the computer password again."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I sure wish we could get cell phones liike all the other kids."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I have to take this..."
"It's your mom...are you here?"
Steve
Good ones

1. Dad says ask Mom.
2. Mom said tell Dad.
4. I'm calling for help, you need a change!
5. What's Gerber's number? 6. Haven't they heard of cell phones?!
7. Babble, babble! 8. I can't hear you!
9. Bad reception! 10. It's Toy's are Us, they're recalling our phone.
Nancy Nelson

"You can't talk on the phone, you've been drinking."
Barbara Bolden, Eden

"I'm calling room service. Do you need anything?"
Jimmy Davis, Greensboro
Nancy above beat you to the room service thing

11. Why can't I have my own Crib?
12. It's not safe, there's germs everywhere!
13. She doesn't share!
14. She said, just CRY louder!
15. Why are we being penned up?
16. She said, climbing over would be dangerous!!
17. She's not talking!
18. She has a blank expression on her face.
19. She's scaring me.
20. This relationship isn't working for me, I want OUT!
22. I don't know what to do, I don't speak her language.
23. Is this doggie day care?
24. I guess they couldn't afford a computer!
25. She doesn't even wash her hands before she eats!
26. Just break me out!
27. But I didn't do it!
28. I'm calling my lawyer!
29. I want to go home!
30. They play favorites, I'm thirsty too!
31. Mom, All she every does is whine!
Nancy Nelson

"It's your mom. You have to go home now."
"I'll call Domino's. We have 30 minutes."
Jimmy Davis, Greensboro

"Mommy and Daddy say the hormones in our milk are causing our increased
hair growth."
"Let's call the FDA and ask that they look into this hormone thing more
closely!'
"I always end up feeling this way when we come home to visit Mom and Dad."
"It's high time Mom and Dad update the guest bedroom!"
"Think anyone'll ever take the jobless figures seriously?"
"Canned and back in the nest!"
"Well, we keep asking God to bless this food to the nourishment of our
bodies!"
"It's got to be the hormones."
"Here we are...the rebound generation."
Kris Voy, Trinity

"What does "Talk Dirty" mean?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage

"It's some lady saying, "Moshi, moshi! Bango-chi. Sen-en, kudasai. Sayonara!"... I don't think it's Gramma."
KEN LAYTON, Carthage
Is this real japanese? Impressive.

1-"Hello room service...Yes I said TWO bottles of your best milk!!!"
2-"Did you want pepperoni or sausage?"
C.J. Woody, Greensboro
Good ones, liked the milk-room service one

32. She's cute but very shy! 33. She just babbles on and on.
34. I can't sleep, she won't stop slurping. 35. She blames me for everything.
36. She ratted on us!
37. I'm pleading NOT GUILTY.
38. She's pleading INSANITY.
39. Help, her stomach keeps gurgling!
40. If Brewster's in a rut maybe he could narrate my life?!
41. She not very smart, I can't even teach her to SIGN.
44. Cancel my appointment, I know Dr. Appleby's license is fake! (Jump Start)
45. I'm so tired of Baby Talk.
Nancy Nelson

The chef at Le Paris Bistro recommends a fish entree to go with your white milk.
Joan Lux Greensboro

We're invited over on Friday - it's BYOBottle AGAIN!
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Ole Spitz called. He wants a topless babe tonight".
Carrie Mosteller, Pleasant Garden

43. (Sorry, I messed up on my count, maybe Count Dracula could help me) Nan ,nan, nah!
44. Mom I think I've meet my soulmate.
45. I'm bringing someone home for you to meet.
46. Mom, didn't I say no more blinddates.
47. She said her parents have already enrolled her in the best preschool in town.
48. I'm calling her Miss Smarty Pants. 49. She says she too good to be in the same pen with me!
50. Lordy, lordy what will she be like when she's twenty.
51. Boo, who, who!
52. Waaaaah!
53 Mama!
54. Da, da!
Nancy Nelson, Greensboro

"It's MTV. They want to see my Crib."
"I heard you can dial 9 and get out."
"I've ordered us another bottle of Mom Perignon."
"It's the bank. They say I'm in over my head."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Robert Wagner says we can get a reverse mortgage on this crib"
Jonathan Sparrow, Greensboro

"Sorry, Sis. The pizzaman couldn't understand Goo."
Katie Wooten, Thomasville (Age 7)
Nice one, Katie!

"Did you want fries with that?"
Don Gunn, Madison
Good

The only guy who ever answers, calls himself Bush
J A Hunt, Greensboro

55. Yuk, she drools worst than the dogs!
56. Did you hear, kids say the darnest things?!
57. This toy must be broken it doesn't DO anything!!
58. She stinks!!!
59. Goo, goo, gaah, ga!
60. I'll be glad when they buy me a cell phone!
Nancy Nelson, Greensboro

"Hello, room service? They just keep repeating the cow says moo."
"You want anything? I'm asking Grover to bring take out."
"Elmo is cool but he never listens."
"You need a cell phone for when you're out in your stroller."
"I guess you don't need caller i.d., it's always Elmo."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Some contenders here. They were all on the right track ...

"I only get one call ... Mom or Dad?"
"Press 1 for Mom, 2 for Dad ... what if I need both."
"Press 1 for Mom, 2 for Dad ... what is a 1?"
"I need Grama on speed-dial."
'When do we get paroled?"
"Scheduling play dates is murder."
"No Wiggles ... I thought that they played everything."
Jon Barsanti

"Anything else besides strained pears on that pizza!"
"Your early application to Harvard has been approved!"
"What's your drink? Need a refill?"
"The baby sitter can't find our house"
"It's a telemarketer. He offering value shares in Bear Stearns"
"It's Right-to-Life". They want to know our position.
"Wow, that's going to be a nice rack!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro
First of all, my apologies. The "rack" one was probably the funniest caption we received. But I was uncomfortable running the word "rack" in the paper, plus, it was off subject - no mention of the telephone.

It's our Stock Broker - Bear Stearns folded, there goes the playpen.
FDA is calling..your Milky Ba-Ba has been recalled. Do we have any soy left?
It's that voter registration lady again, Clinton or Obama?
R. S. Wennberg, Greensboro

USDA recalled the Rice Milk Formula - it's poison from China.
Erik Wennberg, Greensboro

This telephone is so yesterday. I'm getting a cell for my birthday.
Carole J. Heffley, Stokesdale

"Sausage or pepperoni?"
John Koppel, Greensboro

"It's for you. Jury duty at 8:30 tomorrow morning."
John Koppel, Greensboro

"Mikey wants his bottle back."
John Koppel, Greensboro

Who am I going to call ? You're the only person I know .
That's one large with strained pepperoni?
All he will say is " A cow says moo".
Maybe I'll call you sometime for a play date.
Hey baby, can I get those digits.
Darrell Clark

"They said something has happened on Sesame Street. As soon as the dog is off the internet I'll look it up."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"That was your ex-boyfriend. He said I was in over my head."
"It is like a prison in here so yeah, I guess it is my cell phone."
"Watson, come here, I need you.. to change my diaper."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1) "It's Hillary--should I tell her we're splitting our vote?"
2) "What's an Obama?"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

"Look, I'll call you a cab and you can go home and sleep it off."
"Wow, I'm picking up a lot of bars on this phone."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. Do you know why I have to dial one for English?
2. I'm calling for pizza, do you like pepperoni?
3. By the time I get off their automated answering system you and I will be teens.
4. Nana and Granddad get a Wii and we get this little phone.
5. The caller wants us to vote for Hillary.
6. I asked for a cell phone and I get this.
7. How can we possibly be twins?
8. The Easter Bunny's line is still busy.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

Whoever invented the automated answering machine should be run out of town.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

1) You said if I called you in the morning you would share! I just heard it I didn't mean it!
2) The person on the phone scared my pants full! Get It?
3) Are you a boy or girl ? Wait what am I? Do you know which is which ? No we really can't even talk yet!
4) Aren't you a little old to still be using a nipple? Better than waiting for the real thing don't you think?
5) I will trade you the phone for that bottle! They say you won't be able to live without it eventually!
Catherine Duke

I told Nana we were behind bars and she just laughed.
I can't dial 911, the phone doesn't have an 11.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

What do you want on your pizza?
It's for you, are you busy?
He says we have won a free trip to Paris. Where's Paris?
It's another credit card offer? I already have 5 of them.
The cab driver can be here in 30 minutes. Where do you want to go?
What does obscene mean?
Mitch in Nashville
like the crdit card reference

Its Obama, and Hillary's on hold...Just when did you become a superdelegate?
Charlie Thomas, Reidsville

"The preacher says he can only baptize us on our garbage day due to water restrictions."
"I'm gonna call Rev. Jeremiah Wright and tell him to forget about our baptism."
"Some lady calling herself 'Aunt Hillary' wants to know if she can kiss us during primary week."
"Weren't these Chinese phones recalled?"
"It's the painter and he wants to know if we've decided on pink or light blue."
"We can use our frequent flyer miles with the Stork but Skybus has a non stop to grandma's."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"We just won two free nights and three days in Las Vegas."
Raymond Hoskins, Reidsville

"Still busy, Mommy must be talking to Granny."
"OK, how 'bout half olive and half pepperoni?"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro