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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Frank Freeman wrote: "...I must admit that most of the time what you chose was better than mine."
Thanks, Frank. A lot of what doesn't get chosen is actually very good, we just don’t have the space. I wish I had the space for a few more this week, but, that's why we have the blog.
Flatulence was a popular theme this week (stop that snickering.) Also popular was the always reliable "Mom, he’s touching me" theme, our favorite of which was the winner.

WINNER
'Mom, He's touching me again'
Karen Jones, Reidsville
It was the word "again" implying the usual never-ending back-seat arguments that raised this one above the others on this theme.
See? The subtlest things make a difference.

RUNNERS-UP
"It's not you; it's me. I just need some space."
Kris Voy, Trinity

Boy , we are packed in here like .... nevermind.
Darrell Clark

"Hey Charlie, what time does that Claustrophobia Support Group meet?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

Is that you Nemo?
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro

I've been canned!
Nancy Nelson
Proof that Shorter is usually better

"Good Night John Boy."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Bob, you're going to have to see the Doctor about your restless fins."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Shirley's got the big-head since they put her picture on the tin."
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Stop texting me, I’m right here."
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

THE REST
"Uh oh, maybe I should have turned left at Albuquerque".
Doug Clayton, Mcleansville

2. I should have stayed in SCHOOL.
3. It sure is crowded in here.
4. I hate crowds.
5. This place is packed!
6. I ordered the deluxe coffin.
7. But my name is Charlie!
8. I' m Alive, I'm Alive!
9. I'm swimming with the fishes, NOT!
10. Dead fish don't talk!
11. Dead fish can't talk!
12. This stinks!
13. It smells bad in here!
14. I'd rather be swimming!!.
15. I'm clastrophobic!
( It was good to see some new names among the winner and runners up this week)
Nancy Nelson
I agree. Also, This represents, I think, your strongest week so far with several good ones.

I told you we should have skipped school today.
David Robinette
Good one David - made my short list

16. I thought I was on the endangered species list.
17. I'm just cat food now!
18. Who said fish oil is good for you?
19. It's dark in here.
20. Just EAT me!
21. Dead fish tell no tales!
22. If you're reading this, my will is under our rock.
23. Who turned out the lights!
Nancy Nelson

"Hey, Joe, do you think a fart would smell in here?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage
We can never get the word "fart" printed in our paper, I think.

"Bill, I do hope that's your elbow jabbing me down there."
"I hope the guys can't tell that I didn't put on any deodorant."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I see what they mean by packed in their own juice."
"Whew, who cut the cheese?"
"All those years of schooling, for this?"
Rick Meehan Graham

"Something fishy is going on in here".
Stephanie Stevens, Madison

"Well, it's not like you're opening a can of worms!"
"Why aren't we a pizza favorite?"
"Help! I'm still alive!"
"Mom, he's touching me!"
"We taste just like chicken!"
"Are we kin to Saltines?"
Kris Voy, Trinity

"Talk about being canned."
JAMES O. DURHAM, Greensboro

"Too Close for Comfort"
"I use dial, don't you wish everybody did?"
"All Dressed Up and No where to Go"
"You're Swimming in the Wrong Direction"
Mary Oyewole, Greensboro

This is what I call togetherness.
Shirley Stultz, Climax

24. I can't breathe in here!
25. Save the Sardines!
26. I expect to be treated with some respect.
27. Eat more TUNA! 28. Eat more HUMANS!?
29. I'll make your breathe smell bad.
30. I'm letting ASPCA know about this!
31. I See DEAD FISH!!
32. I wanted to be buried at sea.
33. Fishing with nets is inhuman.
Nancy Nelson

"Why did they cut off our heads?"
"So we wouldn't bite each other in the can!"
Herb Werner, High Point
Cute. This would have worked better in a single sentence.

"If I'm a sardine, the conveyor belt is really broken."
Hally Rankin
OK I'm not sure I get this ...

"Wow, what a party, it's packed out in here!"
Mike Tilley, Greensboro
Good one - made the short list

How can they say we're not in a recession?? We all got canned!
Robyn Weissburg, Greensboro

"Oh GOD, you didnt,.. nooooo you didnt! How could you? HERE??????
Sedric Styles- Greensboro

"Jeez! We're packed like humans in New York City inside here!!
Sedric Styles- Greensboro
Clever

"Ok class, that wraps up our demo of being locked in the bathroom. Now...who has the key?"
"Something's really fishy in here!"
Dick Schubert, Summerfield

"I can't wait to get a breath of fresh air"
Ann Hamlet, Asheboro

Gosh Bob, I told you to LAY OFF THE BEANS!!!!
Anderson Ragan, Greensboro

"Anyone bring a guitar?"
"Maybe we should have taken the bus."
"Okay, okay.we should have taken the bus."
"This isn't the bus?"
"And I thought the schools were overcrowded."
"I don't remember getting into an elevator...."
"The last thing I remember is swimming into the mosh pit."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Move over - gimme some room!"
Grab the saltines, eat your heart out. Together, we're "to die for."
"If you've got arthritis in that hand, FORGET IT!"
Barbara Collins Golding, Reidsville

We are packed in here like an LA Traffic Jam.
Please let it be Alton Brown.
I told you we shouldn't have gone to school today.
I was hoping to be packed in Italian olive oil.
I wonder if were headed to Sweden?
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro

"M-o-omm, Bobby's touching my side of the can!"
Patrice Hawkins Sigmon, High Point
Very strong second to the winner.

"Can you hear me now?"
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

How am I going to tell the family I've been canned?
Kathi Faurote

"I told you if we ate that funny smelling seaweed, we would wind up in the can!"
Chris Myott, Eden

1. At least Jonah had some squirm room !
2. Moby Dick and Jaws will snack'em for this !
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Made from real TUNA!
MADE FROM TURKEY
"MY NAME IS SPONGEBOB, IS ANYONE OUT THERE? HELP!!!"
SBAM
STAREDFISH
FROM OVER FISHED OCEANS!
NOW WITH MORE MERCURY!
Now With a LEGAL amount of Mercury
Park Groves, Greensboro
Good idea with the mercury, but needed work.

1. My other classroom is a moble unit.
2. Before budget cuts, I taught in a mobile unit.
3. Funding from the NC education lottery is the key.
4. Next election, I will vote "for"
5. New school bonds
Cynthia Shores, Ramseur
Liked number 1 a lot

"We're packed in here like sardines!"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Boy! I'll never go on another blind date again.
J Burnside

1. I swam over the dam, what did you do to get in the can ?
2. I thought you said we were going to Sardinia !
3. Our price is going up because of oil !
4. Wonder what our expiration date is ?
Frank Leonard, Lexington

34. I'm the cold fish now!
35. I'm blind I can't see a thing in here.
36. Did I get Star-Kissed?
37. Holy mackeral get me out of here!
Nancy Nelson

"It's still roomier than that place I had in lower Manhattan."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

Ok, who farted?
Everyone concentrate........Turn key, Turn.
Someone's deodorant failed.
Hey whats a pickled herring doing in here?
I'm sure this is Sponge Bobs fault.
Of course we're packed in here like sardines, we are sardines.
Well somebody up front yelled NET!!, but it was too late.
Ssshh!, somebody out there just opened a pack of crackers.
Alan Parrish, Clemmons

1. "Get your fin out of my back!"
2. "I enjoy spooning but this is ridiculous."
3. "Slide over!"
4. "Something stinks!"
5. "Mom, he's touching me."
Robert Atwood, Greensboro
Really liked number two - One of the "few" I mentioned above I wished I could have included.

"Nate, I sure hope that's your dorsal sticking in my side."
"It's so dark I can't see my fins in front of my face."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Well the furnace just went out so everyone huddle close together."
"Miss, do you mind if I'm smoked?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Liked both of these

"Something smells fishy in here!!"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"OK, who let one???"
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

1. Let's Cuddle!
2. I have to go to the potty.
3. I wonder what they are having for supper?
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"I heard they're working on a keyless entry with remote".
"I know what your thinking, ...it wasn't me".
"Did someone forget their Beano today".
scott smith, mcleansville

Ciao!! Baby!!
"Let me out! The smell of fish is killing me!"
"I am alive! Let me out"
"Why did they pack a squid in here? All eight arms are around me!!"
"Scratch your back?!! Idiot, we're packed in here!!
"Life is cruel. On day things are swimming. The next day you are canned!"
"Oh no, she's an anchovies!!
"Who invited the anchovies to join us?"
"It's a little snug in here. I wonder what happens next?"
"Siamo molti buone, marinoto nel olio d'oliva" (we are very good, marinated in olive oil)
"Yes, we are all in oil. No, a message is out!!"
Dennis LaJeunesse

38. Something smells fishy.
Nancy Nelson

PHEEW - Why didn't you wait until you got out of here for that.
Nancy Collie, Reidsville

"Excuse me, where's the little gills' room?"
Kris Voy, Trinity

Hey buddy, what are you looking at?
Boy, we are packed in here like .... nevermind.
Hey, don't smoke that in here .
John, I never knew you were Jewish.
No, I'm just happy to see you.
For the last time you can't have your own bedroom.
I think someone just picked my pocket.
STOP TOUCHING ME !!!!!
Don't brag , we are just poor man's sushi.
That's my armrest.
Darrell Clark

1. "Who's touching me? "
2. "Move over! We're packed in here like...sorry. "
3. "I thought you were suppose to bring the crackers. "
4. "I can't.. the key is outside. "
Rosslyn Edwards, Greenboro

"I'm too sexy for all this..... ! "
Gene Leggett

This isn't the turnkey housing I had in mind.
Who eats sardines anyway?
We HAD to swim in open waters today, didn't we?
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro

It's too late to stop and ask for directions.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro
These are probably pretty lame, but I'll give it a try anyway.
"Alright, who cut the cheese?"
"Locked the key outside again, didn't you!?"
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville

Oh, no…it’s Melba!
Though I swim through the valley of the shadow of toast….
Whoa…when did the toast get here?
Pâté? What happened to par-tay?
Pâté? No par-tay?
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Has everyone had their Botulism Vaccine?"
"Does anyone know if we are microwavable or not?"
"Something sure is fishy about this week's JOY cartoon."
"OK, who forgot to pay the Duke Energy bill this month?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

1. Where did you hide the key? I'm breaking out of here!
2. If we hadn't been in that bed together, we wouldn't be in this pickle now.
C. L. Sumpter, High Point

"Hey Vern...pull my fin"
All right! Who did that?
Something really smells fishy in here.
Could somebody scratch that for me?
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro
The first one was one of "the few" I mentioned above that I wanted to include.

SNAIL MAIL
"We fell for that one hook, line and sinker!"
"We're safe until the crackers show up."
"What happened to catch and release.?"
"Who are you callin' fish-breath?"
"We might as well be airline passengers."
"That's French for 'stinky fish.'"
"I hope the expiration dates are just a myth."
"The last thing I remeber is this big net ..."
"Wait til they get a whiff of this new scratch-and-sniff container!"
"Who farted? ... Who cares?"
"Oh, yeah? Well, you're just one step up from an anchovie!"
Bill Wallace, High Point

"I wonder how long this quarantine will last?"
Hy Rodman, Greemnsboro

"Do you come here often?"
Audrey Crater, Greensboro
Good one.

"Move over a tad, I need to scratch my back."
"Mother told me there would be days like this."
Norman Welker, Greensboro
Liked the last one.

"Hey everybody, let's find the TV changer."
"WOW! This is the longest spring break ever!"
"Hey, did you hear that? We're going out to lunch!"
"Guess I shouldn't have dropped out!"
"Excuse me, how long has the power been out?"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"Nobody in here named Prince Albert. Maybe you're thinking of Prince Oscar."
"What's your sign? Pisces."
"We need Lebenstraum." (?)
"How come salmon are put in round cans?"
"Have you had your omega oils today?"
"Actually, most of us don't come from Sardinia."
Max Harless, High Point

"Hey, we're packed in here like a can of sardines!"
Janice Catoe, Liberty