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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

"Hi everyone. Are you having a hard time figuring what to put down for this cartoon?"
This entry by James E. Ferrell of McLeansville --- winner of "best inside joke" on the blog, sums up this week's captions.
In the "if at first you don’t succeed" department, a big salute to frequent contributor Marsha Elam this week for her beautifully concise, but commonsensical caption.
And, for the culturally-deprived: that's Iron Man.
BEST INSIDE JOKE: (See above)ALSO : "We’re not really needed anymore with Brewster defending our skies now" from Park Groves (Have to plug the Rockit-guy)
BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE: "Well, they wanted Buddy Ebsen to do this but he was allergic to the paint."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
A reference, of course, to the fact Buddy Ebsen was picked to play the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, but had to bow out because he was allergic to the metalic make-up. The part went to Jack Haley. A tip of the hat goes to all the Ozzy Osbourne-Black Sabbath references.

WINNER
"Straw."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro
A couple others had the straw idea, but we liked the one-word approach

RUNNERS-UP
"Who do you have to rescue to get some peanuts in this joint?"
Mark Binker

"Now my doctor says I have low iron. Ain't that a kick in the teeth?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"I tell ya', the more I drink, the better that jukebox is looking."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Don't tell me --- you left your wallet in your 'other' utility belt."
Barry McKenzie

"My lines were all working tonight until she used her Lasso of Truth."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"You're right, that is Hillary."
Rick Meehan, Graham

"Just once I'd like to meet a girl at these comic book conventions."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Please don't let Wonder Woman's baby be made of iron."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

They keeping asking if I was in Star Wars.
Nancy Nelson

THE REST
"Hey! I heard a good joke. Two guys walk into a bar..."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Uh Oh! I just waved at that guy I thought was Jabba the Hut, but now I don't think it is....Where's Luke Skywalker when you need him."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Hey! There's Spidey. Over Here!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Uh Oh Man. Could you hand me the oil? I'm freezin' up again."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Smooth. I just waved and it wasn't her."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1. Super Heros don't cry in there beer.
2. Batman she's not worth it.
3. Who are you, really!
4.Crime fighting with you wasn't any fun!
Nancy Nelson

"You're right, that is Hillary."
Rick Meehan, Graham

"With a name like Zeroman, I got noware."
Rick Meehan, Graham

5. I'm so depressed, noone knows who Robot O is.
6. They keeping asking if I was in Star Wars.
7. They keep asking me about R2D2.
8. Don't they know I'm a transformer.
9. Who is this R2D2?
10. Can I partner with you, R2D2 doesn't want me anymore?
11. Batman whats wrong, am I talking too much?
Nancy Nelson

Just because superman was born with powers doesn't mean he is better than us.
James Rose, Jamestown

"And then Wonder Woman said that Superman had a sweeter-looking face than me."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I told her that even superheroes have to get out of the house sometimes."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I do the laundry, cooking, shopping ... who does she think I am Superman?'
or just "...who does she think I am, Superman?"
"Robert Downey? I'll have a drink to that"
"What if I don't want to transform?"
"What do you think, Invisible Girl?"
"Sounds like Robin laid an egg."
"Beer isn't Kryptonite. Where's Clark?"
"Lois wouldn't let Clark out tonight"
"Does a superhero need to change diapers?"
Jon Barsanti Jr, Greensboro

"Man, I’d kill for straw right now."
"Who do you have to rescue to get some peanuts in this joint?"
"And then she said she was holding out for the man of steel."
"So, long story short, leaving the suit made of one of the heaviest metals on the planet out in the sun all afternoon was not a good move."
"I was hoping they’d get Tom Cruise to play me."
"Hey, don’t complain. At least you HAVE a sidekick."
"What did she want? I got the cat out of the tree – it was just a little singed is all."
Mark Binker

"So this is the fortress of solitude?"
"I’m a hit, woop de la freaking do!"
"I’m mean what do we get, one movie every 20 years?"
"At least we did better than Hulk"
"What movie isn’t better than Hulk"
"When you think about it, Captain America is now more like a policeman more than a superhero"
"Policeman, Captain America, same difference"
"You have the bat symbol, I guess I’m just suppose to be there"
"15 million? I risked my life for 15 Million"
"Spidy is just not there for me anymore"
"I just got drafted, Me!"
"And then I have Jury duty, come on"
"We’re not really needed anymore with Brewster defending our skies now"
"No, No, No, I’ll fly, I’ll fly"
"I’m not gonna’ let ya fly home, No, No"
"Ya mean Captain America is not a policeman?"
Park Groves, Greensboro
Liked the fortress of solitude one, but it would have worked better with Superman. Maybe substitute the Batcave instead?

"We're just a couple of superheros trying to get through the day. We're not Super Delegates you know!"
Mel Martin, Reidsville

At least you wont rust when it rains !!!!
thomas lyle ,greensboro

"Five bucks says you can't get Catwoman's number."
"Why is it every time I fall in love the girl turns out to be a super villain?"
"I never knew you liked piña coladas and getting caught in the rain."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"You know what's harder than ridding the world of crime and injustice? Trying to drink this beer without any lips."
Holly Lyle, Greensboro

Gee, Batman, why does everyone say I'm so dense??? Duh, Ironman, could it be because you have a shell made out of iron??!!
Patricia, Greensboro

Gee, Batman, why does everyone say I'm so dense? Well, Ironman, don't let
that stuff bother you. Maybe you need to develop a thicker skin.
Patricia, Greensboro

If you think the Batmobile guzzles gas, you'd croak if you had to use these rockets I have on the bottom of my feet!!! I only get 2 miles per gallon. I need to look into a hybrid model.
Patricia, Greensboro

I tell you, if the wife says "Why can't you be more sensitive like Batman", one more time, I'm gone for good!!! I don't know what you've done, but you're ruining my marriage.
Patricia, Greensboro

Well, Batman, if I had a cute sidekick like Robin, I'd have made it big too.
Patricia, Greensboro

That utility belt has everything from an A-bomb to dental floss; whaddaya mean you left your wallet back at the cave?
E. T. Edwards, Greensboro
right idea, but it was handled better by the runner-up.

Thanks for the stimilus checks.
James O. Durham-Greensboro

"Do these people really believe Hillary & Obama are Super Heroes?"
Judith Bankey, Greensboro

"We haven't had much work since that Superman guy came to town."
Ken Bankey, Greensboro

How can you say "I'm nosey?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage

"And then Wonder Woman said that Superman had a sweeter looking face than I do."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Time for a little meeting of the heads!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"I told her that even super heroes have to get out of the house and relax sometimes."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Gee, Batman, Your cowl has to be more comfortable than mine."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I mean what does she expect, does she think that I'm Super Man??
"I'm not made of steel you know, I have feelings"
Carrie Armstrong, Reidsville
Liked these, especially the second one, it made the short list

"So why weren't we picked for Superdelegates?"
Joan A. Hunt, Greensboro

"I can't get a partner for Dancing with the Stars either"
Ken Hunt, Greensboro
Liked this. Made the short list

"...And then Jeremiah Wright was all like, 'When's Thor gonna get HIS movie'..."
No name given

"I know that good help is hard to find these days"
John Lonergan, Whitsett

"Superman & Spiderman get all the glory these days"
John Lonergan, Whitsett

"Holy smokes Batman, did you see Catwoman with Robin"
John Lonergan, Whitsett

1) So I said to Hillary, who do you think you are, Superman?
2) "Iron Man" this, " Iron Man" that...shshsh!
3) Let's face it--it's all about Hillary and Obama these days!
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

Sorry dude. I heard about the foreclosure on your batmobile.   
David M. Keever, Archdale
Liked the idea, but foreclosure on the batcave would have worked better.

"This will really be a great mug shot of the two of us!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Life is great Batman, if you can stand it!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

" Let's get a grip on this situation together ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

" Bottoms-up to crime down ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"What are you staring at!!??"
"Can't two Super Heroes have a drink without being bothered?"
"The Malibu salt spray plays havoc with my outfit!"
"Barkeep, I need a straw!"
"We need more peanuts!"
"Do you have any munchies?"
"WD-40 keeps me loose"
"Keep them coming, I am getting rusted tonight!"
"What's with you and Robin?"
"Thanks for the invite, but the Bat Cave is too damp for me!"
Dennis LaJeunesse

"These days, Batboy, laser trumps echolocation!"
"I told you my technology degree would come in handy!"
"Chicks dig laser!"
"Got a little laser treatment business going on the side..."
"With the glut of self-help books, the superhero business has taken a little hit."
Kris Voy, Trinity

"Uh oh Bats, nature's calling and I'll never get outta this armor in time."
"Lemme get outta this armor or I'll rust when the beer kicks in."
"My wife assumes because I'm Ironman, I should always do laundry."
"Let's get this party started...Put on some Black Sabbath!"
Brandon Breeze

As long as John Robinson is at the N&R, and Obama is running for President, we'll never be the lead story again.
Talk about irony...I got to work today only to find out I had been replaced by a machine.
We were just starting to get close when I found out her old boyfriend was Superman.
So she say's "Spiderman can kiss his girlfriend hanging upside down"...and I say "Catwoman has a few tricks of her own". That's the last time I saw her.
David Robinette

"Just root bear.I'm flying today."
"Keep the root beer coming--I'm the designated flyer."
"I thought we had something good until she asked me to wear my armor 24/7."
"Straw, please."
"I'm just another pretty mask to her."
"Women! All they want is a pretty mask."
"I try to keep moving--otherwise birds think I'm a statue.
It's been one of those days.five birds dumped on me."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"You know, Dale, I'm not sure this is what they mean by "Alcoholics Anonymous."
Jordan Hart, Greensboro

And one for our homies.
I love you man....hiccup
My lawyer so there's nothing I can do to Black Sabbath.
A gay costume party ? You got us invited to a gay costume party?
I save her baby's life, now she's sueing me.
How many times must I apologize? The power went out and I overslept.
But why can't we tell our parents?
Sometimes I can't just drop what I'm doing and go save a kitty.
I say I'm having a beer with Batman...she hears I'm sleeping with Wonderwoman.
I really didn't put enough thought into the suit of iron.
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem
Liked the "can't tell our parents one" and the "homies" one too for some reason.

"Does anybody have an Immodium and an adjustable wrench?"
"I tell ya', the more I drink, the better that jukebox is looking."
"Hey bartender, pull my finger and (hic) stand back."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Look at them. Staring at me like I'm some kind of nutjob."
"She really hurt me but I've always been a little thin-skinned."
"Well, they wanted Buddy Ebsen to do this but he was allergic to the paint."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"That's odd.I get a free refill when I raise my hand."
Marsha Elam

"Then he asked for my ID card, Can you believe that,Batman?"
Dave Derence, Greensboro

1) " You just can't imagine how hard it is to go to the bathroom in this get up . "
3) " I've got a degree in engineering. I don't need this crap . "
4) " I say if you save the world you deserve a reward, but noooo !! "
6) " And I do this WHY ? "
7) " I had the bartender's brother sent to prison, now I don't trust the beer . "
8) " Now I owe my bookie a thousand dollars. Stupid Kobe !! "
9) " Then she said.. Is big strong superhero scared of a little bitty commitment ? "
10) " Oh no, there's Superman ! I told him we were staying in tonight . "
11) " They just kept coming and coming ! Robin never had a chance ! "
12) " How many times do I have to explain this ? We conceal our identities because of all the collateral damage . "
13) " So what...we ran like stinking cowards...means nothing . "
14) " And once she puts you in the hero zone there's no coming back. "
15) " God forbid I just want to lay around the house on Saturday morning ?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

A toast to MY takeover of earth! Here's to "OILMAN"
"BANG" ZAP" . "SPLAT" looks like Robin didn't made it to the restroom!
At least we agree on ONE thing! There's no such thing as bad beer!
My name? It's "SUPER-ZERO"! No-Body expects ME to do anything!
Brilliant IDEA Batman! We SIT at the END of the bar where the crooks won't notice us!Joe Siernos, Greensboro

" FIDO ( Forget it, drive on ) Batman. Wonder Woman isn't your type anyway ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Gimme the keys. When you're drunk, you drive just like a bat outta..."
Ian Knight, Greensboro

1- Bat Man and I agree this is the finest root beer anywhere.
2- This sudsy lubricates my hinges and axles nicely.
3- Since Robin left, my circuits are being programmed to replace him.
Max Harless, High Point

1. "I tell ya' it's tough being a Super Hero these days. If you ain't a Super Delegate your nuthin'!"
2. "I swear, all I was doing was adjusting his cape when in walks Wonder Woman!"
Greg Brown, Greensboro

"Do you need to be excused too?"
"If you need to be excused, raise your hand."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"What's your question Snake Man?"
"What's your question Viper Man"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Look on the bright side, global warming will take care of the Penguin for you."
"Sorry to hear Iron Maiden ran off with the Tin Man."
"It just cost me $85 to fill up the batmobile, I can't buy the next round."
Gray Amick, Gotham City
How're things in Gotham?

"...All in favor say 'Aye'. "
"...All in favor say 'Aye'........whoopee. "
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Watch what Spiderman taught me!!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I think I'm having an identity crisis."
"Do you ever feel like you're not in your own skin?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I cant believe they asked for your ID, Batman."
Dave Derence, Greensboro
Nice

(1) Talk about paranoid--Hillary actually called to see if I'd cover up my "O" til after the convention!
(2) Hey, Bartender! Can I get a straw over here?
Liked the straw one obviously, but here, briefer was better.
Diane Bishop, Greensboro

"So I said, 'Look Ozzie; thanks for the song, but there's no way I'm showin' at OzFest.'"
Barry McKenzie

"Don't tell me--you left your wallet in your 'other' utility belt."
Barry McKenzie

" I'm teetotally for Robin driving us home ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Iron Man you need to work on those rusty pick up lines."
Gray Amick, Gotham City

"First they hire a playboy junky to play me. Now, Ozzy's doing the theme song."
David Downing, Greensboro

" Don't cry to me about you having to buy gas for your Batmobile. Get rid of
that thing and get a hybrid."
" Got any WD-40."
"Hi everyone. Are you having a hard time figuring what to put down for this cartoon?''
" Hillary wants my superdelegate vote."
"For the last time, The O doesn't stand for Obama."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

SNAIL MAIL
"So now Dora the Explorer is booked, and I can't get a job."
"And on top of all that, last week my Mom told me I was adopted."
"Destroying provate property? All I did was knock on her door!"
"Can you believe that the only job I can get is a security Man?"
"So I had to come back to the city because no one would believe I was a local."
"And now she wants me to e-mail her an I hate computers!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"I don't need that stuff, I'm mechanically robotic."
Jim Drummond, Gibsonville

"Looks like Spidey won't be joining us after all."
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Does anybody else have any suggestions?"
Hugh reavis, Greensboro

"It cost more to fill up every day."
Ruby Combs, Stokesdale

"...Then she say 'you're just not vulnerable enough!' Then I says 'Duh!, I'm iron Man!' That's when she tazed me, bro."
Stephen Bolmer, Greensboro