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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

A big thanks to Park Groves (winner of best inside joke) and Erica Rutishauser for not only noticing that Parade magazine has started their own "write your own caption" cartoon, but they practically stole my drawing from last week for this Sunday's feature. I don't know what kind of responses they'll get with a national audience, but I'll put you guys up against them any day. We'll compare their best with yours next week.
Yes it's cartoon smackdown! Be there!

BEST INSIDE JOKE: (as promised) "I hope PARADE doesn't steal this one"
Park Groves, Greensboro

MOST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE: "Us chickens just watched the battle at Kruger and was wondering if you'd step outside."Joel Tuggle, Archdale

WINNER
"Well, there goes my child support!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
"That fox trap didn't work again last night!"
Rick Meehan, Graham
Rick, you lost a virtual coin-toss for the top prize.

"A-Hem..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Had at least one vote for winner

"So, that's why you told me not to count them until they have hatched?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro
clever

Ever heard of eggbeaters!
Nancy Nelson

"I guess I can cancel the sonogram appointment."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro
You're on a roll, Marsha.

"I hope your cholesterol level goes sky-high!"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"You want hash browns with those?"
ERNY KAROLY
Liked the way this worked with the chicken's expression

What do you mean you've had better ?
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem

THE REST
"How would you feel if I ate your children?"
Mack Gordy, Greensboro

2. Eat more Beef.
3. If they don't kill you I will!
4. I quit! 5. The Yokes on You.
6. Wait until PETA hears about this.
7. They had a Right to Life.
8. You must be a Democrat.
9. Cluck, cluck, cluck!
10. Murderer!
Nancy Nelson
The cluck cluck idea was cute. Two others had the same idea.

11. Look they're staring back at you.
12. Couldn't you at least have waited for them to grow-up?
13. Next time, scrabble them it's more humane.
14. Their cholesteral will kill you.
15. You'll pay dearly for those eggs.
Nancy Nelson

"What now Rickard, a yolks on you blog?"
Joel Clark, Greensboro
haw Haw. The jokes really on you and Bob Mannary. You two think alike. (see below)

You're right -- I am an old wet settin' hen!
Just 'cause you say they're duck eggs doesn't make 'em duck eggs.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"You beast! We'd all ready picked out the names "Bob" and "Rob."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I'm not sitting still over this ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

You told me you were taking the kids to the park!
Kevin Murray, Summerfield
I liked this one. Made the short list

They're not rotten.my boyfriend is a skunk!
Ray Kislowski, Sr., McLeansville

1- "Barbarian!!".
2- "Hey, those are my kids"!!
ERNY KAROLY

"What?! No eulogy?"
"No eulogy?"
"What happened to the eulogy?"
"Have you ever heard of an eulogy?"
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

For the last time Craig... take that filthy hat off at the dinner table!!!
Jeremy Williams, Greensboro
Liked the post-modern feel of this

16. I guess I won't be celebrating Mother's Day again this year.
17. Chicks are cuter.
18. Eat more bacon. Nancy Nelson
19. Those were my babies.
20. What have you done to my children?
21. I'll be hen pecking you for this.
21. I've been fed steroids.
22. I told the ASPA about you.
Nancy Nelson

1. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I FRIED YOUR TWO KIDS AND ATE THEM?"
2."DOES YOUR WIFE KNOW YOU EAT YOUR NEIGHBORS KIDS?"
3.
PAULA HAIRSTON

Lay your own eggs buster !!
I am filing wrongful death charges !!
Does PETA know about you ??
I am tired of pushing out eggs for your pleasure !
I hope you swallow wrong !
May feathers grow on your butt and a farmer pick your hide!
You wait till the all the girls hear about this !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

1. You wait till the girls in the hen house hear about this !!
2. You wait till the girls hear about this !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"I thought you said you were sending them off to boarding school"
Todd Needles

And why doesn't the Right to Life apply in this case then?
Sue Wood

Jonathan Fraher Greensboro
BAWK-BAWK-BAWK!

"The least you could have done was left me the twins."
"No wonder the pig doesn't like you."
"This explains why the pig doesn't like you.
"Mary Lou and George?"
"Five hours of back labor for this?"
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

Hey thought you believed in the Right to Life
Sue Wood

"I may be just the waitress, but I put my life into this job."
"Of course I recognize them-I gave birth to them."
"'Family business' my foot!"
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Traitor."
"Those better not be mine."
"How could you?!?!"
"I thought you said that you'd switched to Egg Beaters."
"Do you realize where those things have been?"
"You know those things are high in cholesterol."
"This doesn't look like "just borrowing them" to me."
"I thought you said that you were taking them to live on a farm."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"That fox has been at it again?"
Rick Meehan, Graham

1."Next time just wring my neck, it'll hurt less".
PAULA HAIRSTON

"How can I keep on the sunny side?"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Thought you were pro - life!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1) "They'd have been a couple of cute chicks in one more week!"
2) "What you people eat--disgusting!"
3) "How'd you like some egg on your face?"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

"I SEE YOU POACHED MY EGGS"
BETTY JO HILL, GREENSBORO
cute

23. Is this stem cell research?
Naaancy Nelson

Enjoy! Those eggs were used to incubate flu vaccine.
If you weren't so impatient you could have had chicken legs in July.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

Waddya mean birth control???
Patricia W, Greensboro

Read the menu again -- those eggs are SONNY side up!
Those eggs aren't sunny side up; they're sonny side up.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

parade stole your ideas and cartoon
copy cats------ parade.com/cartoons
"I hope PARADE doesn't steal this one"
"No harm NO Fowl?"
"Do the chickens have large talons?"
"Do you MIND?"
"Not Jimmy and Kate"
"You said they ran away!"
"Eat More COW"
"Your about to see my Large Talons"
"$@*# Chic-fil-a"
-Park Groves, Greensboro

"Eggs...Really?"
Brandon Breeze, Geensboro

"Can't say I blame the pig for running away."
"The cow was right."
"I can see the cow wasn't exaggerating."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Over my dead body."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"You're egging me to a pecking stroke!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington
Frank said: I feel good about this one. Maybe a winner at last!
Sorry, Not this week. Ask Marsha from last week and Frank from this week about the value of not giving up, though.

"After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me!"
Sadiyah Abdullah

"Lay your own eggs!!"
"What else do you want to eat that's mine?!!"
"First my eggs; what's next?!"
"...and I suppose you next want a chicken dinner!!"
"Ever consider oatmeal?"
"I warned you kids that this could happen!"
"Eat those and I will unleash the fury of the funky chicken!"
"My lawyer will hear about this!!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"They deserved better than sunny side up."
"I leave the nest for 2 minutes ..."
"Curly. Larry. Where's Moe?"
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro
The "leave the nest" was one of the last three toons eliminated - with much difficulty - from the runners-up.

"I'll show you 'sunny side up' "!
"They could've been the next American Idols for all you know!!
Rupert Burton, Greensboro

1) "SICKO!!!!"
2) "Cluck, cluck, cluck!!!" ( What did you expect a chicken to say?)
3) "That's it ! Union time!"
4) "Pullet ?? Like hell you broke it."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

1. I don't care what you think, I came first.
2. How would you feel if they were your kids?
3. You men are all alike, you think you own everything.
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

"Take care of them," you said!
Alan Abrams

"O.K, O.K, I'll talk."
"Us chickens just watched the battle at Kruger and was wondering if you'd step outside."
"Fluffy, I mean, your bacon, will be ready in a minute."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"No I will not try eating more cheese, onions and green peppers."
"Not hungry? I busted my butt to make you those eggs."
"Look, I'm sorry she left you too, but I'm doing the best I can."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
Joel, you had the best cumulative gags for none making the runners-up. Strong stuff though. I particularly liked the last one for some reason.

1- Shame on you! Those were meant to be used to make flu shots.
2- Not your fault, but I didn't get to fertilize those. Wasted Viagra!
Max Harless, High Point

Do you know what I go through to produce one of those ?
How would you like it if I ate Cletus Jr.
THIS is what you do with them ?
I hope you get salmonella .
The sky might not be fallen but your teeth are about to .
When stuff like this stops then and only then will you get your wife back .
Did you even try to put them back together again ?
It's none of your business why I crossed the road, and stop trying to change the subject .
Don't you want some gravel with those .
No kethup ! Now that's just plain sick !
You do know where they've been , don't you ?
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem

YOU HAVE TO BE PRETTY HARD BOILED TO EAT MY TWINS SUNNY-SIDE UP
ALAN YOUNGMAN, GREENSBORO

"Well isn't THIS a fine way to start off my Mother's Day?!?!?"
"Your profile said you were a vegetarian!!"
"6 weeks of Lamaze classes and for WHAT?"
"When you had your vasectomy did I sit around eating spaghetti and meatballs?"
"How would you like to wake up tomorrow and see me eating little Bubba and Thelma Lou?"
"First the chicken dance and now this..."
"First the sheep, then the pig, and now this..."
"First the sheep, then the pig and now this...what's WRONG with you?"
"And I suppose you're going to tell me those WEREN'T your cold hands that woke me up this morning???"
"Would it kill you to have cereal every once and a while?"
"Go ahead...tell me again how you're not sleeping with my wife..."
"Could you have at LEAST waited till I left for work?!?!?"
"...and I suppose you want KFC for dinner too..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Some more classics in here, Bob

"No bacon? Wonder why?"
Frank Leonard, Lexington

"Those better be OSTRICH eggs big boy..."
"And what do you think YOU'RE doin'?"
"You better find your dog before I do buddy..."
"How come you don't eat anything that comes out of your OWN rear end?"
"Don't give me that 'They broke and I didn't want them to die in vain' excuse again..."
"I don't care WHAT the cows said about eating more chicken..."
"Uh...EXCUSE me?"
"Guess the 'Yokes On Me' this week huh?" (BaDoomBoom!)
Bob Mannary, Wherever
Why am I not surprised that both you and Joel Clark would go there with the "Yolks on you" gag?

24. Could've had a V-8!
Nancy Nelson

I’ll help you look for your children ! after BREAKFAST.!
HEY! YOU KNOW I could have MADE CHICKEN SALAD !
I GOT good news! Colonel Sanders invited YOU TO lunch!
Joe SIERNOS, Greensboro

1. Whatta ya mean, "You're a L'egg man!"?
2. "You just don't talk to me anymore. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around here!"
3. "Have you seen the twe twins lately?"
Greg Brown, Greensboro

"Hey!! This isn't what I meant when I asked if you'd mind watching my kids!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
made the top three that didn't make runner-up

OH NO!!! Not the twins!!!!
Henry Beck, Greensboro

Okay, where's the wise guy with the really cold hands!!?
Reta Beck, Greensboro

25. Eat more vegetables.
26. You said you were a vegetarian.
27. I'm madder than an old wet hen!
Nancy Nelson

"Where I come from that’s pure cannibalism!"
"First the egg nog and now this."
"I hope you choke on your fowl breakfast."
"If you need the Heimlich maneuver don’t look at me."
"What's wrong with the IHOP across the street?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro
The heimlech manuver one was the last joke dropped from the runners-up.

Nothing to look backward to with pride, and nothing to look forward to with hope!
M Morrow, New Orleans, LA

SNAIL MAIL
"If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake."
Robin Ivey, Greensboro

"You take one bite of those eggs and you'll never get to be "old" MacDonald.
Dave Marcone, Greensboro

"Stick a fork in my kids and I'll peck you to death."
Dave Bohannon, High Point