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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Someone apparently thought they could get their name in the paper by entering a caption like "Keep the News & Record coming so we can keep up with Brewster Rockit" but I would never print such a self-serving response or the person's name. Right, Max Harless of High Point?
a LOT of good entries this week. See the blog. Also, a new feature on the blog, since you guys like puns so much, I’m adding a best/worst (they’re usually the same) pun category.
Overall, a very competative week. Any one of a dozen or more entries were first-place worthy.

WINNER
"I thought you said everyone would be wearing nametags."
Diane Bishop, Greensboro

RUNNERS-UP
“I’m just saying, casual Fridays would be a nice change.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

That guy on the right. No, that guy! The guy right there, Earl! Yeah, you look like him.
Stephen Botts , Greensboro

“OK, my turn. I spy with my little eye, something black & white."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Looks like a lot of new faces this year."
Julia Stevens, Greensboro

I don't understand how you can feel out of place!
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

"What do you mean, black's not my colour?"
Heidi, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada
One of them foreign import models.

So which of you is a female?
Chuck Buckley, Greensboro

I'm no good for you. I'm a loner, a rebel.
Mike Pearce, Reidsville

“Does anyone else think nuns are kinda hot.”
Joel Clark, Greensboro

Brr!!
Nancy Nelson

MORE RUNNERS-UP
Here are some that qualified as runners-up but we just didn't have room in the paper.
I'm sorry I thought you were the waiter.
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem

“You look familiar.”
Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"I can't wait to see my blind date."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"A little overdressed for swimming, don't you think?"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

“I don’t care if you did buy me a plane ticket. I’m a flightless bird."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Is it cold in here to you?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

BEST / WORST PUN
"May I please borrow your pen, Gwen?"
Patty Tiska, Greensboro

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
This from Bob Beitzel of Pleasant Garden had me going to Google:
“I wish Lyle Lovett would leave us alone!!”

And, of course, the man who practically invented this category, Bob Mannary:
The "Milo and Bill" reference was close, but the winner was:
"Then he says, '"Pardon me, but could you help out a fellow American who's down on his luck?'"
and ...
"...and the card says, HOBOKEN!! I was in tears..."
And sadly, I didn't need to Google those.

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Max Harless takes that prize with the above mentioned "Brewster Rockit" reference.

THE REST
"Looks like a lot of new faces this year."
Julia Stevens, Greensboro

1. I'll be glad when I can get out of this tuxedo!
2. Who told everyone we were auditioning for Dancing with the Stars?!!
3. I hate crowds.
4. Surfs up!
5. I don't have HAPPY feet.
6. We're packed in like a can of sardines.
7. We need a bigger berg for these family reunions.
8. My feet aren't happy.
9. It's too crowded to dance.
10. Who ate all the sardines?
11. Someone has krill breathe.
12. Who ate all the shrimp dip?
13. This Conga line isn't going anywhere.
14. Are you warm enough now?
15. Hubie don't be shy just give her the pebble.
16. I hate waiting in line for these sales.
17. Who told them the shrimp boats were a coming?!!
18. There is no place to MARCH.
19. Are you building a new rookery?
20. It's to crowded to do that now.
21. Who told them we had plenty of tuna?
22. I'd rather be swimming with the fishes.
23. Are you expecting again?!
24. What do you mean you can't swim!
25. Who invited Batman?
26. Do you think Batman will come?

The clerk told me this outfit was one of a kind.
Marie Boulware, High Point
"I've got sad feet."
Glenda Layton, Carthage
"What do we wear on Casual Fridays?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

All dressed up and no place to go.
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I'll check...what's she wearing?"
"OK...where's Milo and Bill...This will be HILARIOUS!"
"It's left, right, left, right..."
"It's left, right, left, right, didn't you read the script?"
"Is it cold in here to you?"
"Don't get cold feet on me now..."
"Dude...you need a breath mint..."
"I think this is the one with the Joker in it..."
"Then he says, '"Pardon me, but could you help out a fellow American who's down on his luck?'"
"...and the card says, HOBOKEN!! I was in tears..."
"Burgess Meredith without a doubt..."
"Dude...that was a Walrus!!"
I hate these formal affairs..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

27. Opus you forgot the bow ties again.
28. So you think everything is just black and white!
29. We don't need color in our decor.
Nancy Nelson

"You look familiar."
"Batman killed my grandpa."
"I'm not saying it's cold, but I'm peeing ice cubes."
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Tailor-made, each and everyone !”
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

30. Do you know who framed Roger Rabbit?
31. Cozy Heart, you didn't invite those Care Bears did you?!
32. Willy are you still Chilly!
33. Why are your feet so cold?
34. Don't get cold feet now.
35. You've leaving us to do frozen food commercials.
Nancy Nelson

"I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?"
"DON'T LOOK AT ME, I DIDN'T DO IT"
Clare Grady, Asheboro

"Yes, he's here. You can't miss him. He looks just like me."
William Courter, Greensboro

"Who needs a mirror?"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"What do you mean he's not my kid - he looks just like me"
Velma Loy, Reidsville

"I'm telling you our new County Commissioner is a speciest; He claims all penguins look alike."
Zagros Madjd-Sadjadi, High Point

"If I fumble, she said it's "extra laps" for me."
Rick Meehan, Graham

They use the same sketch over and over again in the wanted posters.
Our police department doesn't have much luck with line-ups.
It's a fancy formal dinner -- krill AND squid!
All dressed up and no place to go.
Up close and personal beats higher utility bills.
I'm freezing -- count me out of this YouTube video.
Anyone catch that movie "A Face in the Crowd"?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"It's not all black and white you know!!!"
Gail Holland, Madison

36. Where's the Bud?
Nancy Nelson

Lousy stinkin' rental!
I don't care what anyone else thinks, I'm freezing!
All dressed up and no place to go.
Does this make me look fat?
J. C. Winkler, Asheboro

I'm glad my tuxedo has elastic and spandex.
This is the biggest line-up the police have ever had.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"So, are we going to start dressing casual or what?"
Beverly M. Goldston, Siler City

"We should at least be able to dress casual on Fridays!"
Ken Miller, Jamestown

"I don't care how popular that movie is, I ain't marching nowhere!!!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"Does anyone here have a concern about identity theft?"
George Keely, Jr., High Point

"How long are we going to stand here for?"
Andrew Newman, Greensboro

"Hey, have you seen the new guy? ...
No, what's he look like?"
Karla O'Brian, Reidsville

I wonder.....could he hear me now?
Soooooo.....you like the suit?
You’re one in a million!
Black tie?
Think I'll blend in?
This iceberg's smaller than my suit!
Just once, couldn't you wear a dress.
Talk about cold receptions.
Who doesn't waddle?
Monkey suit? Whats a monkey??
Christine Keaton, Randleman

37. Girls let's teach her the Waddle.
38. I told you to keep your fins to yourself.
39. Do not flip me the bird ever again.
40. Dive right in!
41. Last one in the water is a rotten penguin!
42. Yes, you are supposed to sit on your chicks.
Nancy Nelson

All our meetings are formal.
James O. Durham, Greensboro

"Hey guys! Is anyone else beginning to think this is a little embarrassing?"
KENNETH CASE

"Once, just once, I'd like to have a casual Friday."
"I can't wait to see my blind date."
"I wish they would get on with it, I gotta have this back by ten."
"I'm like you, I didn't know if a cummerbund was still in style."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

You look familiar. Have we met?
Kathy Harper, Kernersville

He sometimes contemplates his navel wondering where it is....or? he has cold feet.
Margaret Underwood,Greensboro

"Joel Clark is not winning this one."
"Anda 5678"
LINDA STARR, GREENSBORO

"How do you know that we're not all just suffering from monochromatism?"
Ned Norman, San Diego

" Can you believe they sent the tuxs but no shoes ? "
" Wonder what hockey team they're auditioning to be mascot for ? "
" You're just too big for your wings ! "
" Goldberg, Bloomberg, Iceberg, all these National Geographic folks look the same to me ! "
" They're warming up to summer tuxs ! "
" Evolution goofed on our wing design ! "
" Need some extras for the movie ? "
" Our group picture will make them see double ! "
" Like our wing collar look ! "
" Could be one wing ding fishing trip ! "
" It's hard to get a leg up on you ! "
" Be careful not to step on too many toes when you are preaching to them ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"We're in trouble now...I only bought enough fish to feed a party of ten."
Diane Bishop, Greensboro

"Could you please help me find my twin brother?" or "Have you seen my twin brother?"
"May I please borrow your pen, Gwen?"
Patty Tiska, Greensboro

"Are you crazy, we can't go to casual dress days"!!!
Jim Bober

"You take us on a march and leave the GPS device at home???"
Cheryl Bober

To many Emperors and not enough subjects....
Christine Keaton, Randleman

43. Who wants to play slip and slide?
44. You're an Artic penguin, why do you want to fly south for the winter?
45. You can flap all you want you're not going anywhere. 4
6. Brr!!
Nancy Nelson

I see everyone got the memo.
What do you mean, "Someone stole your suit?"
I don't understand how you can feel out of place!
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

"Just once I'd like to show up at one of these parties wearing Jeans and a t-shirt!"
Denny Norris, Greensboro

"I thought I'd be the only one to come as Zorro"
Bud Norris, Greensboro

"FIRE"!
It cost me a wing and a leg to get this seat.
Has anyone seen my wife Peg?
Don Rankin, Greensboro

This is the biggest police line-up ever.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

“I’m just saying, casual Fridays would be a nice change.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

47. We can't fly because we have too much blubber.
Nancy Nelson

And the whole time I thought it was hemorrhoids.
If she doesn't come back soon, I'm having this thing for breakfast.
Barbara Cashman, Greensboro

"I need glasses. I'm starting to see everything in shades of gray."
Kris Voy, Trinity

"We are marching at our quick pace ! "
"They'd like a Mars Polar Cap vacation ! "
"Let them have a casual day, please ! "
"No ! They don't have AFLAC ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Try to blend in with the crowd. Don't blow our cover."
Bobbie Teague, Snow Camp

"They love marching around for the cameras in their birthday suits."
"Sure can't tell any difference between our tuxs and bathing suits ! "
"A little overdressed for swimming, don't you think ? "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Who's the Empress?
All dressed up and nowhere to go ...
No Cummerbunds?
I understand the Arctic is a little warmer these days.
When is March of the Penguins II being made?
They could have done this "Joke" in Black and White.
Every wedding here is formal attire.
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro

"Say it , don't spray it !!! "
"Watch out for my corn , Bigfoot . "
"What's he have that I don't have ? "
"Please tell me I don't look as goofy as you do when I'm walking ."
"Hey guys !! We got a Red Wings fan over here . "
"I work with a guy that could be your twin . "
"Everything is always black and white with you . "
"I know we are a monogamous species but all the signs points to her cheating . "
"I was flirting with her for 15 minutes before I realized she was a he . "
"Technically, every flu we get is the bird flu . "
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"We are vacationing in the Bahamas this year!"
"I don't know about you, but my feet are not happy!"
"What is black and white and red all over? A blushing penguin!"
"Your mother was eaten by a killer whale! So was mine!"
"I smell like fish?! We all smell like fish!"
"What do you get when you cross a penguin with a parakeet? A talking tux!"
"Let skinny dip"
"Want to go fishing?"
"What do you mean we all look alike?"
"No kidding, we all look alike?"
"You want a nose job? Why?"
"You want to leave me? Where can you go?"
"You want to leave me? Where are you going?"
"Let's bowl. This time I will be the ball and you guys can be the pins!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"Seriously... who's bright idea was it to settle this with 'Rock, Paper,
Scissors'?"
E-S Guthrie, Charlotte

"I hope this iceburg doesn't sink"
I blame this on global warming"
Gilbert Howell, Greensboro

" What do you mean, wear something differently?"
" Is this gonna to be a black-tie affair?"
"My feet are freezing."
"The Police need a mug shoot."
"They said you did it."
"Take off the mask!"
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"I wish Lyle Lovett would leave us alone!!"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

1) "So what happened to Casual Fridays?"
2) "Formal? Where are the bow ties?"
3) "Yep. I was an extra in that movie!"
---Bill Beerman, Greensboro

We're out of ice?
Ice fishing? What ice??
This tuxedo's versatile. It's for weddings or cold feet...
Global warming foreclosed on my ice.
Job Fair? I' am a career fisherman.
I thought "Bird Brained" was a compliment.
Christine Keaton, Randleman

Why do I always have to stand on the outside edge?
Does that jingle mean the ice cream truck's coming?
I never thought you could make money selling sno-cones.
Oh, no, it's tourist season again -- here comes the cruise ship.
There'll be some cold feet in the bed tonight.
Weather forecast is for a five-penguin night.
They use the same police sketch in all the wanted posters.
Switched at birth?
What makes you think you were switched at birth?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"I told you we should have made reservations!!"
Susan Bond, Greensboro

"Anyone?gotta frying pan?"
"Anybody gotta frying pan? I'm hungry"
"Go ask Love Lace"
"When did the roles switch?''
"This better be worth it"
"MY feet are gonna be happy when?it hatches"
"How did this happen?"
"THIS is why we waddle"
"Sooo this is weird"
"I'm sooo col..."
"God Bless Global?Warming"
-Park Groves, Greensboro

But the sales clerk said this was a Christian Dior original
Ronnie Mills, Greensboro

" They say no more frozen dinners ! "
" You always say it's too cold to fly ! "
" Mankind will never guess we are their UFOs ! "
" We fooled them, they thought I was a flying nun !
" Bowling and Hockey are our best shots at Olympic Gold ! "
" They thought I was a UFO ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

I always answer the phone, "Nobody here but us chickens."
Joan Lux, Greensboro

48. You need to stop singing that song "Up, Up and Away"!
Nancy Nelson

...Why, Yes, it IS a rented suit...how can you tell?
Ernesto De Nardin, Buffalo, NY

"Don't take it too hard, Bob. In theory, having Casual Friday was a great idea."
Kevin Little

"A great cartoon caption contest and everyone's standing around cooling there heals."
Kevin Guthrie

"So is this your first time in a line-up?"
"Just once I wish you would host an informal affair."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"And then I told her I refuse to wear a blue tux to the wedding and that was final."
"Look, there's Roy and Silo. Nice guys ... and Tango makes three."
"What do you mean, black's not my colour?"
"March?? No way! My feet are killing me!"
This was a tough week!
Heidi, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada
"Move over. My feet are cold."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

You know who has this fashion thing figured out ? Pandas .
Is anybody else's feet cold ?
Whoa dude ! Fish breath !!!!
You talk the talk but can you waddle the waddle ?
I've got a Ying n Yang tattoo but for some reason it's hard to see .
You're here ? Then who's sitting on the egg .
I'm sorry I thought you were the waiter.
Part of the ice shelf just broke off . I say we ride it to freedom .
I think Glogal Warming sounds kinda cozy .
You know what they say.......first one that knew it !!!
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem
For the last time- King penguins dont do casual fridays!
Joe Richey, Greensboro

Penguins Soar to Win?? What a trick!!
Stanley (s) Cup? It's Big.....Exciting......and.......
Congratulations Penguins!!!!!!!!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

I hate these black tie events
Where did you rent your tux.
Why do we have to march? Can't we just walk?
Bonny Buckley, Greensboro

You mean you can't tell us apart either?
So which of you is a female?
This is so embarrassing. We all wore the same thing.
Happy Feet? Does that blister look happy to you?
Hey, baby...do you like fish?
...and so she said, "Is getting hot here or is it just global warming."
Chuck Buckley, Greensboro
From the kids (I don't understand half of them, but maybe they are far more subtle than I can deal with)

Let's go shagging! No wait, that's only for our cousins in the Pacificand Atlantic
Emily Bennett
Okay, photo time. I vote you entertain them.
Freeman Slaughter
Hey guys, ready to go dancing
Haley Crenshaw
It gets really hot out here with all of us smushed together.
Let's go to the pool tonight and let's have a partyyyy.

"Good Earl, now show 'em how good you can do Charlie Chaplain."
"I never thought we would be in the paper but here we are in black and white."
"Boy I hope I get lucky again this year."
"Why, (honk, honk) are the females (honk, honk) on another island?(honk)
"That's not my cane you idiot, that's where I had to tinkle."
"How 'bout a cold one?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

I am a Strategies Specialist for the Detroit Red Wings.
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Did I mention I'm claustrophobic?"
"I like living on the edge."
"We're living on the edge!"
"This is living on the edge?"
"Let's line dance!"
"Good looking crowd!"
"All dressed up and nowhere to go."
"I think we may need a bouncer."
"Did I mention this is an all-male club?"
"This is Casual Friday?"
"I'm glad I wore my tux."
"I'm glad I didn't wear my jeans."
"What warming trend?"
"I think we'll have enough tables for duplicate bridge."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

"Sorry guys, but our agent says a sequel is unlikely."
Reta S. Beck

Antarctica's Verizon Network.
Antarctica's most popular gang, the "Cold Bloodz."
"Who wants to pick up the 1,500 Eskimo Pie's from Chili's?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"Come on, its my turn in the middle, I'm freezing out here."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"I hate these mixers....I never know what to wear."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Nice Suit. "
Ken Cockerham, Greensboro

"These family reunions are getting out of control."
"These family reunions are getting out of control. I only recognize you guys!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro, NC

"Is it just me or does it look like Bob's put on weight?"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro, NC

"...all I said was 'Honey, have you been eating fish?' and she left me!!"
"...all I said was 'Honey, have you been eating fish?' and she left me
...I told her that she's not going to find anyone else like me."
"...and then I told her 'You're not gonna find anyone else like me.' "
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I think tonight's movie is 'the Northern Lights' again."
"Just once I wish they'd show a real movie besides 'the Northern Lights'."
"OK, my turn. I spy with my little eye, something black & white."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

I'm no good for you. I'm a loner, a rebel.
Mike Pearce, Reidsville

Bowl-A-Rama said these were the closest seats to the action
Ronnie Mills

"Alright, who ate the bad sardine?"
David Downing, Greensboro

Antarctica's Verizon network support
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"I almost wore that!!! "
Cathy Cockerham, Greensboro
Emperor, you have nothing on!

I dreamed I was in the House of Mirrors again.
Don't tell Penny this is a rental.
This global warming is awful. It's only gonna be -5 today
That guy on the right. No, that guy! The guy right there, Earl! Yeah, you look like him.
Big deal, Grandpa. We all have to walk five miles in the snow to get to school.
I don't know what this 'zoo' place is, but the bus is late.
Us and bears? We polar opposites.
Stephen Botts, Greensboro

All of the most wanted posters use the same sketch.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

" How many times must I say I'm sorry . I thought she was you . "
" If we don't go shirts and skins the game will be a turnoverb festival . "
" As long as you live in my house young lady, you will not date a killer whale . "
" Does anyone else think nuns are kinda hot . "
" You've been voted off the island . "
" How exactly will casual Fridays work ? "
" I don't care if you did buy me a plane ticket. I'm a flightless bird . "
" You want some fries with that shake ? "
" The southern hemisphere will rise again y'all !!
" We're on an island continent . How much of a march could it be ? "
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"I thought you said everyone would be wearing nametags."
"But we only ordered enough for 15!"
So much for "by invitation only."
"I never knew Mom had so many relatives on her side of the family."
"It's OK, son. Who needs Arctic Idol anyway?"
Diane Bishop, Greensboro

1."I NEED SOME SOCKS, MY FEET ARE COLD".
2."WHY ARE WE STILL WEARING THESE TUX? THE PARTY IS OVER."
3."I DON'T THINK WE ARE GOING TO NEED OUR OUTFITS ANYMORE WITH THIS GLOBAL WARMING THING COMING".
4."CAN YOU BELIEVE SHOES DID NOT COME WITH THIS TUX?"
PAULA HAIRSTON, GREENSBORO

#1. "I'd give my left fat pad for a bowl of hot soup!"
#2. "I hear there are some foreclosed igloos available!"
Joe Weiss, Greensboro

"Can you give me a description of the one that stole your fish?"
"Sure the dress code stinks, but Mom says we'll appreciate it one day."
"No, we don't do casual Fridays."
"And then I said to him, 'Just once I'd like to have a new outfit for my birthday.'"
"Oh no, I can't believe he had the nerve to say we all look alike!"
Carol Hardin, Greensboro

"So where are the free footwarmers you promised?"
Joe Weiss, Greensboro

"Well, don't look at me."
"Too late.She's conceding."
"Bow-tie or neck-tie?"
James E.Ferrell, McLeansville

Hey Phil you got that email to? What email? We're all going to be in a movie called "March of the Penguins
Renee

SNAIL MAIL
Remember now, just say snow.
Anne J. Rice, Greensboro

"Where is my baby?"
"Who stole my baby?"
Ryland K. Yount, Greensboro

"And right here will be Trump's 18th green!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"Hellooo ... Does anyone know how to get to the polls?"
Toni Reece, Eden

A scientist demonstrated a prism: There's more to life than black and white.
"Our wives claim they're out getting us food. Yeah, right."
"Divided we fall. United we stand and stand and stand ..."
"Keep the News & Record coming so we can keep up with Brewster Rockit."
Max Harless, High Point