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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

And to think I was afraid this week's effort would be too limiting. You guys not only pushed the envelope, you addressed and mailed it, too. Bravo. I highly recommend checking out the responses below. Lot's of clever, creative stuff. Unfortunately, we can only fit a sampling here. We skewed our choices to the ones that best addressed the character's expression in the Munch painting.
I don't think we ever had this narrow of concensus before (except for the winner). The more judges I got, the more different choices we got. We finally took a Chinese-menu approach - a favorite from each judge made the runners-up. Even then, we still didn't have the space to honor them all in the paper.

BEST/WORST PUN
I'm Mona Lisa, shes the Moaning Lisa!
Nancy Nelson
Nancy, I hate to tell you this but I think the "screamer" is a guy.
This negated a lot of your entries.

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE:
Too many Da Vinci Code references for any of those to win.
Ditto the recent theft of “The Scream”

"If you see Marcel Duchamp tell him I'm not amused."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
Very nice. A contender if it wasn't so obscure.

Looks more like Crunch than Munch.(Tim Crunch was a graffiti artist of the 1970's-1980's)
Nancy Nelson
Nancy tells me Crunch was a famous graffiti artist in the 70s-80s. Get it? Crunch & Munch!)

Inspiration -- Krakatoa's eruption . . . or too much lutefisk?
Joan Lux Greensboro
Bravo, Joan.

Didn't you used to sing for Midnight Oil?
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem
Nice.

That certainly captures absinthe withdrawal.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"Oh no, it’s Mr. Bean!"
Gray Amick, Greensboro Art District
Anyone who saw the Mr. Bean movie will get this.

BEST INSIDE JOKE
"I can't say I miss Mark Trail that much, but whatever"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro
This one strikes close to my heart.

I know... these captions spook me too!!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"My career has officially tanked...I go from being admired by millions each year to being some punch line in a North Carolina cartoon contest..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
No surprise to see Bob here.

WINNER
"67 bottles of beer on the wall, 67 bottles of beer. you take one down, pass it aound, 67 bottles of beer on the wall...."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
CC, you're virtually uncatchable now.

RUNNERS-UP
"I should have warned you that the curator has cold hands."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

"Ask your doctor if Prozac is right for you"
Bill Drummond, Asheboro

"Gosh, you're right. The tourists' eyes are following us."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"It's Your Baby."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
This got one vote for winner

Drama Queen!
David Robinette, Reidsville

".. I could just talk and talk,stop me if you've heard this one."
Rick Meehan, Graham

"It's all over. We are too different! It will never work!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Oh relax. It doesn't smell that bad.
The Jaguar
I couldn't resist.

Oh, shut up!
Philip Shore
Phillip also offered this history lesson: (The red bands of color in the background of Der Schrei constitute a historical note: it is the red sky caused by ash thrown up by the eruption of Krakatoa in 1883.)

THE REST (Which includes several gags that got votes from our judges)
Oh, shut up!
Philip Shore

1. No, I'm prettier!
2. You're freaking me out!
3. She freaks me out !
4. Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
5. What was Munch tripping on?!
6. Is that what I'm going to look like in ten years?
7. You expect me to smile more!
8. She scares me.
9. Remember be nice!
10. No mom, I don't think he wants you to pose nude.
11. Mom it isn't Halloween.
12. She's got Spirit!
13. She makes me want to SCREAM.
14. What was that Norwegian trying to express?!
15. I don't get it!! 16. I sure wish someone would steal her again.
17. Where's an art thief when you need him?
18. Say something nice.
19. I'm Mona Lisa, shes the Moaning Lisa !
20. Mom please don't Scream at me
21. She needs to be the pyscho ward!
22. At least it's colorful!
23. Jump!
24. Was Munch angry?!
Nancy Nelson

"Aspirin works for me."
Harvey B. Herman, Greensboro
Good.

"Somebody's idea of ART?"
Glenda Layton, Carthage

What do you think of my complete makeover?
Edward Miller, Greensboro

I don't know what you are "screaming" about; I haven't had a good laugh since 1500!
Roz Weintraub, Greensboro

Does audio come with that?
Some people can hold a pose . . . some can't.
Obviously the artist got on that model's last nerve.
Well at least the sky is pretty.
An environmentalist's nightmare -- not a tree in sight.
It would have been sharper using a digital camera.
Some people call that art?
Joan Lux, Greensboro
I liked the third one a lot

"I re-acted the same way when I first saw Leonardo in his birthday suit."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I had to hold this silly smile until I screamed, too."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"You are SUCH a drama queen!!!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

26. I'm Mona Lisa she's Lizzy Borden!
Nancy Nelson

"God bless the inventor of the air brush!"
Doris Clapp, Julian

26. Look you're scaring the children!
27. She's screaming because she's losing her hair.
28. The devil made him do it!
29. You'd scream too if your hair was on fire.
30. Munch had too much Norse Grog before he painted her.
31. She's upset because she can't get a date!
32. Who said art curators don't have a sense of humor.
33. She's having a bad hair day.
Nancy Nelson

That's more than just a bad-hair day.
Would a bag of potato chips help?
I guess dental care was better in Norway.
I'll stick with my enigmatic smile.
Joan Lux Greensboro NC

Bad hair day, Van? Mona
Jeff Bartolet, Greensboro

Not so easy having an itch on your nose for over 150 years now, is it?
Jim McNamara

That certainly captures absinthe withdrawal.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"I see them too...don't act surprised. Keep a straight face. Too late!
Darrell Kimrey, Summerfield

"I know what you did last summer."
Barb Purdie, High Point

"What a scream."
Katie Fennell, Greensboro

(Sigh) "I hate hanging out with a drama queen."
Marcia James, Jamestown
Right idea, but we thought the shorter version worked better.

"A screaming martian on a pier...priceless. Yea right."
David Downing, Greensboro

Chill out, Screamy.
John Banks, Greensboro

"They call THAT thing art?"
"You think it's easy sitting still this long?"
"I think my Toosh's asleep..."
"Would you believe I'm naked from the waist down?"
"It's true when they say you can't pick your neighbors..."
"Ooops...excuse ME!"
"Check out www.myspace.com/sexyitalian"
"Not bad for being five hundred and five years old huh?"
"Giocondo...G...I...O..."
"Anybody got an eyebrow pencil?
"How YOU doin?"
"Whatchu lookin' at?"
"Take a picture...it'll last longer!"
"If you see Marcel Duchamp tell him I'm not amused."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"Some days I just want to scream too."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

34. Looks more like Crunch than Munch.
Nancy Nelson

"What a drama queen."
Carol Conley, Gibsonville
Once again, right idea, we just liked the shorter version better.

"you have any bar nuts, goldfish, a dirty sock to stuff in my friends mouth?"
Terry Purkerson, Asheboro

35. I told her to stay away from that black hole
21. She needs to be hung in the psycho ward!
36. Boo!
37. I told her I didn't want to hang around with her.
38. You should her at night!
Nancy Nelson

" I'm thinking of a number... do my lips really have to move to think?"
" hey buddy, I know what your thinking, and I'm not that kind of girl... unless of course, you like that kind of girl"
"hey buddy, yea you, no not my screwball neighbor, I hear your wife's out of town"
Terry Purkerson, Asheboro

38. You should hear her at night!
39. Lordy, lordy, look what happens when you turn forty.
Nancy Nelson

I know... these captions spook me too!!
We are picture perfect so this caption better be !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"She should try meditation. It's done wonders for me."
Margie Bowman, Greensboro

"It's just like Mom told us: "Don't make that face; it just might freeze that way!"
Julia Stevens, Greensboro

"Hillary lost! You need to move on!"
"The high gas prices are bothering me too"
"Calm down! Haven't you heard the bald is beautiful?"
"I know you were stolen but you are back now! Get over it!"
"What on earth are you listening to?"
"I know. I drive men crazy!"
"Sorry, I am not much for going out. I just like to hang around!"
"Yes, you know I make you want to shout!! Chap your hands and shout, yea, yea!!
"It's all over. We are too different! It will never work!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"No worries, hon. It'll grow back!"
Jeanne Morris, Greensboro

"I see, and how does that make you feel?"
Robert Middleton, Stoneville
I liked this one a lot

Try my antidepressant. The only side effect I've had is eyebrow loss.
Betsy Truitt, Asheboro
Cute

"It's Your Baby."
"Jerry Springer called. It's your baby."
"For my second number, I shall sing another song by Madonna..."
"67 bottles of beer on the wall, 67 bottles of beer. you take one down, pass it aound, 67 bottles of beer on the wall...."
Hey, I know who stole you before. Keep up the screaming and I'll call them again. "
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

1. Shhhhhhhh....
2. Stop screaming, Van Gogh's not around.
Joe Matthews, Greensboro

You use less muscles to smile than to frown!"
Amy Torchinsky, Greensboro

"Sorry you are having another migraine"
Liza Hopper, Greensboro

"That antique grandfather clock was a nice addition."
Rick Meehan, Graham

"Enough already with what tourists are wearing!"
"I shouldn't have complained about the Van Gogh last week."
"That's what I get for complaining about the Van Gogh last week."
"Just for my sake, get over the fanny packs."
"Get over the fanny packs."
"Enough already with the fanny packs!"
Just my luck.a David groupie."
"It's a good thing Monet's bridge paintings aren't here."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro
I really liked the fanny pack references, but no one else really got them.

1) Is she smiling or screaming?
2) My artist did a better job!
3) Looks like she knows what's behind her!
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

I just heard that Tiger Woods tore his ACL!
Ray Kislowski, Sr., McLeansville

"Who let her in this place"
"There goes the neighborhood"
"Boy, it is hard to keep smiling around here"
John Lonergan, Whitsett

"Ask your doctor if Prozac is right for you"
Bill Drummond, Asheboro

If that's what growing old looks like, I'm glad I'm glad I'm a portrait.
It's great being frozen in time.
Dwight Hicks, Greensboro

A picture for the ages . . . gas costs how much?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

1. the picture of the two guys on the Island
"Are you sure you want to win an Island cruise?
Carolynn Brown
I think this e-mail got lost in a black hole, as it's a response to the very first "Jokes On You" from a year-and-a-half ago.

"Can you hear me now??"
Pat O'Donnell, Kernersville

Drama Queen!
David Robinette, Reidsville

40. Scream, Scream, Scream all she ever does is Scream.
41. This one is a good Screamer!
42. Just hang me!
43. Good golly Miss Molly!
44. You know, the art critics are saying she's the modern Mona Lisa!
45. She's a fake!
46. She's faking it.
Nancy Nelson

Who can smile after looking at that hideous painting!
James Pitcher, Greensboro

".. I could just talk and talk,stop me if you've heard this one."
Rick Meehan, Graham

1) Shhhhhhh! We're in a museum.
2) You must be an oil painting cause those businessmen from Texas keep
looking at you and smiling.
3) I know, gas prices are that high!
4) Oh relax. It doesn't smell that bad.
5) Sorry about that, I've been holding it in for over 500 years!
6) They're real...and they're spectacular.
7) The work of Edvard Munch often included symbolic portrayals of themes such as misery, sickness, and death... I don't see it.
8) Hey buddy, there's a bridge. Use it!
9) Sorry, I don't date people from the office.
10) I am smiling!
11) Well if you stop making faces maybe they'll stop staring.
The Jaguar

What have her kids done now?
Marlene Pratto, Greensboro

1. Okay. So you've been framed. Just grin and bear it.
Sandra Powell, Greensboro

2. Don't be alarmed.
It's just an astigmatism and severe myopia.
Al Powell Jr., Greensboro

1- I bet you're happy to be back in Oslo. Did you catch "Stockholm syndrome" while kidnapped?
2- Maybe I know why you're screaming. Maybe you're paint-by-numbers.
3- You look like that little kid in "Home Alone."
4- I'd say Leonardo da Vinci is a better artist than Edvard Munch.
Max & Cindy Harless, Greensboro

Inspiration -- Krakatoa's eruption . . . or too much lutefisk?
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"You modernists are so gullible. I told you drive-through plastic surgery was a bad idea!"
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder!
They let anyone hang out here....
A Contemporary Piece of what?
I see you as being easily pirated!
I see your a "Hands Off" kind of gal...
Who stroked your canvas?
Woke up to early and forgot the war paint huh?
Secrets? Mannary's the day I S-Tuggled against Clark-s artistic captions....
The Gallery of Horrors is next door....
A woman smugly smiles for many reasons!
I know what artist's hands were all over you!
I can see why they stay asail !
Mr. Rickard really did a number one you !!
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Oh, stop your whining! I've been sitting on this wooden chair since the 1500s!"
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

"Didn't I tell you the drive-through plastic surgery was a bad idea?"
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

1) "Enough already! The spider wasn't that big."
2) "Having a bad hair day?"
3) "It's not THAT bad .... I kinda like your new hairstyle."
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL
I liked the spider gag.

Keep your ears covered the art critics are back!!
The "Jokes on You" with that Art Critic !
Christine Keaton, Randleman

"Now you see why I've been sitting on this donut."
"Look, the art editor for Parade is sketching us. Quick, make a face."
"Did you notice the tour guide's breath?"
"I'm sorry I screamed but I can assure you the Code is not hidden there."
"I know you read the book but did you see the DaVinci Code movie."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
I really liked the tour guides breath one, but I was outnumbered

"You mean the whole time he was painting you he was standing on your toe?"
"Dang that air conditioner vent. I wonder if anyone noticed?"
"Ron Howard has changed a little since Andy Griffith, hasn't he?"
"Sounds like scream?..Dream? Look, I don't want to play anymore."
"So Dark the Con of Man. So Dark...boy, that could drive you crazy."
"You ever bite the inside of your mouth?"
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"You are being sooooo dramatic!"
"You really should have taken some Dramamine!"
"I've found that Zoloft really evens out my moods..."
"You need to get out more without the kids."
"I'm enigmatic; you're over-dramatic."
"Just when ARE the kids going back to school?"
"Never let 'em see you sweat!"
"You really seem to wear your emotions on your sleeve."
"I feel just the same way once every month."
"You need an aspirin?"
"I could care less."
"I could act like I care, but I don't!"
"Here we go...another pity party."
"I really wish they'd move me next to The Picnic."
"Moody Judy's having another meltdown!"
"Not everyone can always have her act together!'
"They must be changing the gas sign again!"
"I felt more at home next to the American Gothic."
Kris Voy, Trinity
The "kids going back to school" was next in line for runner-up if we had the room.

"Let's see Cassius Coolidge do THIS..."
"What were you expecting...Dog's Playing Poker?"
"Don't tell anyone but I was a Paint-By-Numbers."
"Don't feel bad...he creeps me out too..."
"They call that thing art?"
"Somebody get my agent on the phone..."
"Whaaaaazzzzzzzzuuuuuuuuup?!?!?!?!?!?!"
"I was told I'd have a PRIVATE room?!?!?"
"It's from the Victoria Secret 16th century collection..."
"The one day I go Commando they hang me on the draftiest wall in the building..."
"99 bottles of wine on the wall...99 bottles of wine..."
"4,329,978...4,329,979...Ah...Ah...AH-CHOO!! $#%@!!! 1...2...3..."
"My career has officially tanked...I go from being admired by millions each year to being some punch line in a North Carolina cartoon contest..."
"Watch...Watch...I can follow you with my eyes...Cool huh?"
"Dat was a-one-a-spicey-a-meatball!" (It's tough to type in Italian!!)
"That was one spicey meatball!"
"Shut Up, Shut Up, SHUT UP!!!! STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!!!!"
"Don't mind her...she's having a REALLY BAD hair day..."
"He just realized that he could've had a V-8..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro
The 99 bottles of wine was on the right track, but as you realize by now, 67 bottles (the winner) was better because it implied the screamer had been listening to that for a lot longer

Remind me not to buy drugs from the guy that painted you.
Hey buddy, you need to take a valium and a nap.
No offense, but do you think Mr. Munch might have needed glasses ?
Could you keep it down, I'm trying to force a smile over here.
I see you went to the Sun for vacation this year.
Warhol's stuff make me feel the same way !
That's Miss Gioconda to you !
Didn't you used to sing for Midnight Oil ?
For the last time I know nothing about a secret code !
They say it takes 2 ugly people to make a beautiful baby. Your parents must have been breathtaking.
You have my vote Mr McCain.
You paid for that make over ?
Don't feel bad . I'm just not ready to date right now.
Don't look now but Micheal Jackson mask fell off .
You wouldn't smile either if you had a nail in your back !
Darrell Clark,Winston-Salem

Having a bad hair day?
Young Rochelle Jr., Greensboro

47.Smile you're on Candid Camera!
48.Scream or No Scream!
49. Creepy!!
50. She thinks she's the next American Idol!
51. Good Golly Miss Molly.
52. What a nightmare!!
53. Far out!!
54. I hate hanging with her!
55. She needs a makeover!
Nancy Nelson

"Egads, you're right. Blue Boy's eyes are following us."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Gosh, you're right. The tourists' eyes are following us."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"I told you that you wouldn't believe how old I am."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"Did you see a mouse??"
"A Mouse?! At the Lourve!??"
"Oui, that was a souris."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"That's it. Keep pushing. You've Almost got a smile."
"Imagine how bad MY cheeks hurt holding this darn smile."
"If I have to hold this smile much longer, I'M going to scream."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Five more minutes, then it'll be my turn to scream for help."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"You might as well smile. I screamed for the first 100 years too."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Do you have an earache?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Did someone pinch you?"
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Did they make you listen to Lisa's sax too??"
CC Cockerham

"Hey, check out the chick in the hot pants."
"You won't believe what all you'll see people wearing.
"The leather pants? That's nothin'. At least he has on pants."
"This is definitely a great place to people watch!!!"
CC Cockerham

"Psst....look. Over there! Isn't that Brad & Angelina?"
"Will you try to look Natural! I think that's Brad & Angelina!"
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"That's it. Keep pushing. You've Almost got a smile."
"Imagine how bad MY cheeks hurt holding this darn smile."
"If I have to hold this smile much long, I'M going to scream."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

1. "Wipe that scream off your face."
2. "If you're going to exhibit an emotion, you better pace yourself."
3. "Take some deep breaths, you're starting to scare the other paintings."
4. "Calm down - a little restoration and your hair will be back to normal."
5. "I should have warned you that the curator has cold hands."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

1) "Who could smile hanging beside Sir Screams a Lot here ? "
2) "If I have to come over there I'll give you something to scream about . "
3) "Looks like someone was hung to close to the heater . "
4)" Ok...two words...sounds like..."
5)" The joke's lost on me, I've never seen " Home Alone. "
6)" Say hello to your brothers, See and Speak for me . "
7)" Put your hands down cueball , Van Gogh's been dead for years . "
8)" Even Salvodor Dali thinks this guy is a little weird . "
9)" The glass is always half-empty with this guy . "
10)" Let's paint a pizza menu on the Last Supper . "
11)" Who was the genius that hung this guy in front of a mirror ? "
12)" Maybe you should switch to decaf . "
13)" Forget the eggs, this is your brain on drugs . "
14)" Please excuse him, he just filled his car up . "
15)" Great, Rickard's reduced me to a Family Circus comic . "
Joel Clark, Greensboro
Some clever ones here, Joel

"I love telling him he's crooked"
"I'm sorry, but your head really is shaped like a light bulb"
"You had me at HELLO! Now, just shush".
"My frame IS bigger; but size doesn’t matter".
"Me too. I absolutely hated The Merchant of Venice."
"…31 bottles of beer on the wall. HEY! I can do this all day."
"Yeah, a lozenge. Capice?"
"I can't say I miss Mark Trail that much, but whatever"
Stephen Botts, Greensboro
We really liked the first one - very close to runner-up status

"Stop doing those weird contortions! What if your face froze like that?"
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

"My morning cup of coffee makes all the difference."
Melanie Wilkes, Austin, Texas

“I hear oil paint may hit $4 per tube by the close of the Contemporary Period.”
“I’d scream to, oil paint just hit $4 per tube.”
“Oh no, it’s Mr. Bean!”
“If only Crest Whitestrips were available 500 years ago.”
“I think you’re next on the restoration list.”
Gray Amick, Greensboro Art District

"Oooooh, everyone can't be cute."
"What was he thinking!"
"Oh no.They reduced the Valdez oil spill damages."
"The President is coming."
"We need to go shopping. But first, we need to find you something to eat."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

SNAIL MAIL
"This morning I was traded for a tank of gas."
Melisa Easter, Madison

"Don't take it so hard, it might not be true."
Philip Easter, Madison

"Don't give up on Hillary, it's not over!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro