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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

And now, our captions are being outsourced. Yes, that's right, the winner is from Canada. Ah, I remember the day when the U.S. made unquestionably the finest gags in the world. But alas, we grew fat and lazy and the quality started to drop off. And we failed to notice the trend toward lighter, more economical captions as we still clung to our big inefficient and wasteful jokes. And now this. Can we as a nation reclaim our place as caption-capital of the world? Tune in next week ...

BEST CULTURAL REFERENCE
It's Better than the skiing vending machine (Wallace and Grommit)
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro
I had to list this one as I'm a huge fan of Wallace and Grommit

BEST INSIDE JOKE
“But I was expecting a July 4th cartoon theme this week…”
Gray Amick, Greensboro Planetarium
I liked this, and we sorta have a July 4th theme THIS week, with the fireworks.

Honorable mention - Joel Clark took offense at my declaration last week that CC was uncatchable. - “We will program it to write our captions, even though CC’s uncatchable.“
I touched a nerve...

WINNER
"Son, I think it's time you knew. You're adopted."
Heidi Huber, Ontario, Canada

RUNNERS-UP
"What's with the Clinton and Obama stickers on the side?"
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

"Quick turn back into a rock!"
Joel Clark, Greensboro

"Well maybe we got some ice crystals and maybe we ain't."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"We need to re-think our immigration policy."
Debra S. Watson, Eden

"It's not fair, they get crop circles and we only get tire tracks."
Gray Amick, Greensboro Planetarium

My Native American friend says to take this very seriously.
Darrell Clark

"Ma, it followed me home. Can I keep it?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

I wish they'd send more Beatles music instead.
Eli Oklesh, Gibsonville
This was almost too obscure to make the list.

THE REST
1. Out of gas!
2. Looks like another hunk of junk to me.
3. Nice set of wheels!
4. Can you give us a ride!
5. We're lost, do you gave GPS.
6. Go, Wall-E, Wall-E, Wall-E!
7. I bet it's a gas guzzler.
8. He just doesn't have the same feelings that I have!
9. It's alive, it's alive!
10. Don't think you can roll over me!
11. You're lost, don't you have GPS?!
12. Stop polluting our world!
13. Wall-E, Go Home!
14. Do you think we can trade him in for ET?
15. He has to die for eyes.
16. Wall-E, take us home.
17. Son, stop bringing home strange aliens you don't know where they've been.
18. Far out!
19. He only has eyes for EVE.
20. He's so cute! 21. He's strange, his pet Dude is a cockroach.
22. He just don't fit in!
23. Is that Johnny 5 or Walle-E, they all look alike to me!
Nancy Nelson

"I think it's some kind of toaster."
"Mr. XYLzL, go check the immigation exclusion laws at once."
"Ma, it followed me home. Can I keep it?"
Ken Layton, Carthage

"Oh well, There goes the neighborhood!"
"Quick, duck, here it comes again!"
"I wonder if there is intelligent life where it comes from?"
"I think I saw that thing down by the river today!"
"I want to take a ride, but I couldn't find the saddle!"
"What's with the Clinton and Obama stickers on the side?"
Stephanie Apple, Greensboro

"Love the new outfit, but I'll bet it cost her a bundle."
Royce Riddick, Greensboro

24. Rolling, rolling, rolling!
25. Bet he can't do a wheelie!
26. Another oil guzzler!
27. Wonder if he's as smart as our Fifth Grader!
28. Sounds like another American Idol.
Nancy Nelson

"Not a very friendly feller, is he?"
Deb Moore, Graham
"It may be looking for water, let's offer it an Aquafina."
"It showed up in 69 same time Tiger Woods was practicing."
"Pretty fancy pooper scooper."
Rick Meehan, Graham
Reading these again, the pooper scooper one was worth serious consideration

29. Remember Mom said don't talk to strangers!
30. Mom warned us about strangers.
31. Wonder if it's edible!
32. It looks good enough to eat.
33. You first, no you first! 3
4. Is this what you call modern art!
35. Ask him to pop a wheelie for us.
36. How can this thing save our world?
37. I don't understand the need for these new-fangled inventions!
39. I knew I shouldn't have wished upon that star!
40. Holy Moly!
41. Mum's the word, Aliens don't really exist!
Nancy Nelson

"They say the gas mileage is great!"
Marilyn Ruberg , Greensboro

38. Hang Ten!
42. What are the fancy flaps for, do you think he can fly?
43. How much do you think it costs.
44. You broke it, you fix it!
45. It's just an expensive toy!
46. Boys and their toys.
47. I bet we can win the Soap Box Derby this year!
Nancy Nelson

"I thought you said your mother was getting "a little" work done"
Tricia Brassel, High Point

"Camera's rolling! Say "cheese."
Dorothy Meehan, Graham

1. I think I'm in love
2. So baby... what's your sign?
3. Well, at least this time they got the metric vs. English thing right...
4. This one's an oldie but a goody! New tires, chrome exterior, 20-year warranty...
5. I wonder how many MPG it gets.
6. Quick! Hide the oceans!!
7. Quick! Hide the water!!
8. Quick! Bury the ice!!
9. ...courtesy of 'Brewster Rockit: Space Guy!?' Who's that clown?!
10. What on God's red Mars...?
11. I wish they'd send more Beatles music instead.
Eli Oklesh, Gibsonville

"There goes the neighborhood!
Ellen Ashley, Greensboro
I was wondering how long it would take to get this entry.

Bet it can't even dance - just look at those straight legs!
Joan Lux ,Greensboro

Earthlings don't talk...all they do is make whizzing noises & beeps...
Ray Kislowski, Sr., McLeansville

What kind of mileage does that thing get?
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

"Show off, he's from your fathers' side of the family!"
"With all that metal you'd think he’d be afraid of lightning."
"Oh no, another alien has landed, what are we to do with so many of them coming here?"
"Notice, he doesn't have a leg to stand on!"
"Star light, star bright first alien I see tonight!"
Patricia Comer

Looks alien to me.
Think Triple A could help?
It's Star Powered.
What does she have I don"t?
Does it suck gas?
Christine Keaton, Randleman
Christine, I liked the “triple A” one and the “ and the “What does she have I don't?” one. I included them on the short-list that I show the other judges. They didn’t survive the next round though.

"The robotic arm is a nice touch but they would have found us sooner if they just had a camera."
"An Alien!!!!"
"I thought they were intelligent life"
"What kind of name is NASA?"
"You said they didn't exist!!!"
"Skeptic turned believer"
"No one's gonna believe us"
"ebPfg hz d\i"
Park Groves, Greensboro
Some good ones here, but none that made it through.

He's too old for us if he starts doing the moonwalk.
He says he's here to pick up our recyclables.
Sounded like he said "paper bags" . . . our "heads."
Why does he keep asking if we ride horses?
He must have a real appetite for green cheese?
I bet his ringtone is "Blue Moon."
What does "beep . . . beep-beep . . .beeeeeeep" mean?
It's not like anything I studied in health and hygiene class.
Where's Miami?
He must have a real appetite for green cheese.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"My mama said there would be boys like this, boys like this, my mama said..."
OR (shorter): "My mama said there would be boys like this....."
Marcia James

"Jeepers creepers, look at IT 's Peepers!"
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"Pixar lied to us, this is not Wall-E!"
"And I thought that the humans looked weird at Stonehenge!"
Paul Smith, Asheboro

Sorry, pal. This ain't Mars.
Good try! You only missed that other planet by three trillion light years.
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

48. Meet Brewster Rockitt's running mate for intergalatic president.
49. Obama chose Wall-E instead of Hillary for his running mate!
50. Is this Dr. Mel's electromagnetic force?!
51. Where does the CD go?
52. Where does the DVD go?
53. Does it have a MPG player or an IPOD?
54. Smile, he's probably from Candid Camera!
55. Walle-E Go Home.
56. Good Golly it's Wall-E!
57. What do I say, he's the first movie star I've ever met?!
58. Smile you're on Candid Camera!
59. There's no such thing as aliens!
60. Your father doesn't approve of your dating aliens.
61. Hit the road Jack and don't you come back.....!
62. Don't get too close, it may be taking specimens back to its' home planet.
63. We're already on the endangered species list, so don't get too close.
64. Our planet is turning into a garage dump!
65. He's just some reject from another world!
66. Do you think we can recycle him?
67. When are we going to close our borders?
68. Reduce, Reuse and Recycle!
69. He says he wants us to go GREEN!!!
70. He'll do great in our Roller Derby.
72. Pop, what kind of games do you think he plays?!
73. Friend or Foe?!
Nancy Nelson
Number 67 was considered, but we received a a couple other entries along the same line. I gave the benefit to our snail-mailer simply because they are under-represented in the paper because they are often beaten to the punch-line through no fault of their own.

1. Not from around here are you?
2. He must work out. Look at the size of those solar panels!
3. He's on the quiet side but look at those pecs!
4. Must be the 2010 Prius.
5. Need to see your driver's license, proof of insurance and registration please.
6. I don't care what your travel agent told you; there isn't a Marriott within a million light years of here.
7. I'm a night person, you're a day person. I just don't see how our relationship can continue.
8. Okay guys, make it look real. If they don't think we made it to Mars we won't get funding for next year.
9. I don't know Zeldor, who will believe we actually encountered an ET. They're just going to say we had too many red dust shooters.
10. Straight ahead for a mile, then turn left, Wal-Mart will be on your right.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

"Well, he did say it was great for day trips."
Steve Kindschi, Asheboro

1. So this is your new convertible.
2. What kind of gas mileage do you get?
Rose Bailey

"No it's not a UFO, it's an SUV."
Jim Bober, Greensboro, NC

"Your mother has put on a few solar panels"
Cheryl Bober, Greensboro
Nice

74. Don't touch!!
75. Those things carry all kinds of diseases that could wipe us out!
76. Who said EVERYBODY loves Wall-E?
77. Our world isn't a garbage dump.
78. How much do you think we'll get for him in our yard sale?!
79. Antiques go for big bucks these days!
80. He's "Lost In Space"!
81. Tin Man, where's Dorothy?
Nancy Nelson

"Intelligent life would have built something that could talk to us."
There are no gas stations on Mars. What a Terrain.
This is what your planet looks like after the fossil fuel is gone.
You were expecting ET?
No, we aren't all gray!
What do you mean you are xenophobic?
You were expecting Bi-Peds?
Ooo - Nice Wheels.
It's Better than the skiing vending machine (Wallace and Grommit)
Is this your first visit to our planet?
Sorry - no Starbucks here.
Jon Barsanti, Greensboro

"Wouldn't you just know it? One of the Jonz family is the first to transvolve into a hex rotary solar powered creature."
Jonathan Sparrow, Greensboro

1."I BET HE'S AN ILLEGAL ALIEN."
2."THIS WAS CHEAPER THAN CABLE."
3."SO HOW MANY CHANNELS CAN WE GET?"
4."NOW WE CAN SPY ON THE NEIGHBORS."
5."I WONDER HOW MUCH WE CAN GET FOR THIS THING AT THE PAWN SHOP?"
6."IT'S A BRIBE FROM BREWSTER ROCKET HE WANTS TO VISIT."
7."BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING US."
PAULA HAIRSTON, GREENSBORO

"I don't care if it WAS on sale!"
"You're old enough to know. I'm not your father. Your mother had an one-night-stand with Spudnik."
"Weren't you in the least suspicious when he asked for a screwdriver?"
"That thing's NEVER going to get off the ground!"
"Must you bring home every piece of space-junk?"
"That's going to cost us a FORTUNE in gas!"
"Marge, those parts look suspiciously like my satellite dish!"
"THIS is what your expensive university degree gets us?"
"For THIS you spent four years in university?"
"That boy is so grounded!"
"The Borg!! There goes the neighbourhood!"
"I TOLD you not to invite them. But NOOOOOO. Do you listen to me?"
"I don't care if it gets great mileage, I wouldn't be caught dead in that!"
"Son, I think it's time you knew. You're adopted."
"Why didn't you TELL me your mother was coming to visit?"
"Doesn't he look handsome in his uniform? They're invading the third rock from the sun, you know."
Heidi Huber, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada
Some other strong entries besides the one that won, eh?

Water? We didn't even have Chai Tea until Starbucks showed up.
David Robinette, Greensboro

"THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD."
"DO YOU THINK HE HAS HEARD OF WD40?"
Sue Minor, High Point

1. Don't worry, my son made it with his Erector set.
2. It'll never replace my Suburban.
3. The face bears a strange resemblance to my Mother-In-Law.
4. I'd rather see $6.00 gas then drive that
5. NASA is at it again.
6. Doesn't NASA ever quit?
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

1) "Quick turn back into a rock!"
2) "How many MP3's do you think it will hold?"
3) "If it's anything like us it will want to see our leader."
4) "That better be a hybrid!"
5) "We will program it to write our captions, even though CC's uncatchable."
Joel Clark, Greensboro

82. Look what managed to get thru our black hole!
83. Did he "Short Circuit"?
84. KITT is way cooler!
85. He chose ROSIE instead of R2D2 for his running mate in the galactic election!
Nancy Nelson

"Don't worry, there'll be another along in a minute!".
Keith Peddie, Greensboro

"Smile! It is taking our picture!"
"That's a nice set of solar panels!"
"Hi. Mom!"
"We need a goalie. Do you think it plays soccer?'
"Wow! It's that new zero-carbon six-wheeler!"
"Your dad looks cool!"
"This is the new bus our government promised?!"
"A date? I don't know. She looks a bid aggressive!"
"Nice! I wouldn't kick it our of my room!"
"Earthlings are certainly ugly!"
"It runs on Every Ready batteries!"
"No resemblance at all to R2D2"
"I hope it cleans up after itself"
"It wants to shake hands?"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1. Car dealers will go anywhere to make a sale.
2. What is Junior going to think of next?
3. Well Dear, this is the only one in stock at the dealers. Do you want it or not?
4. What idiot dreamed up this monstrosity?
5. Here come the earthlings. There goes the neighborhood.
6. We've got to sell it, dear, gasoline prices have gone up to 14 cents a gallon.
7. It operates on solar power but we don't get any sun on this side of the moon
8. There is a big drought on earth in North Carolina so they sent up this thing to look for water.
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

1. "If we had thumbs I bet it would stop."
2. "Dude, I think it’s WALLE."
3. "It's from Earth - must be looking for oil."
Tom Norman, Greensboro

so that's what "intelligent" life on planet earth look like?
Luis Mendoza

They are making robots look more Martian like everyday.
Here comes the neighborhood.
Don't feed it are it will never leave.
Darn illegals ! They're gonna take our jobs !
Mom can we keep it ?
Nice.......six wheel drive !!!
It's to bad we're drunk. Now nobody will believe we saw an alien craft.
As a joke, we will let it over hear us saying we are gonna blow up the Earth .
I bet they're lost .
Going by his tattoos, his name is NASA .
Did he just flash us with gang signs ?
What's a nice girl like her doing in a place like this ?
I just assumed they'd be in jumpsuits .
My Native American friend says to take this very seriously .
Yo baby, do fries come with that shake?
Darrell Clark, Winston-Salem

"Is it me, or is she just a teensy bit over-dressed?"
"Sure, it looks good, but it'll never pass Nascar's official inspection."
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

"Where is the sex starved astronaut lady?"
David Downing, Greensboro

1. "I THINK HE'S TRYING TO DO THE MOONWALK".
2. "YOUR GIRL IS LOVELY HUBBLE"
3. "SMILE"
4. "SAY CHEESE
Paula Hairston, Greensboro

86. Hope that it doesn't run on WATER!
Nancy Nelson

"He moves and makes noises, but I can't get a word out of him."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"Hey Spider Man, you try to swallow me and I'll bite your tonsils!"
mrvtoon
... hmmm ... Another time-warp caption?

Do you believe in God or Evolution?
Is there a God?
Where's the nearest restroom?
Are you a boy or a girl?
I like your wheels.
We were about to invent shoes but now we want wheels.
Do you have any loose change?
We've never needed noses before you arrived
Bill Lawson, Stoneville

"Martin you are so lucky to be on Pimp my Ride."
"Don't shoot, we're unarmed."
"License and Registration."
"I'm sorry, we thought you said you needed a soiled sample."
"Well, I guess you should have taken a right at Albuquerque."
"Hurry up Henry, the PART bus is here."
"Our leader is under indictment so how 'bout the head of our Human Resources?"
"Like hey man, we don't know nothin' 'bout no ice crystals."
"Well maybe we got some ice crystals and maybe we ain't."
"I'm afraid he's mostly machine now."
"The force is strong with this one."
"Looks like another stray from the Lazy W."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale
I also liked the Lazy W stray. clever

"I'm pretty sure it's the male of the species driving. The female would have asked for directions by now."
"I always wanted one of these when I was little, but Dad said I would put my eye out."
"You gotta admit, their toys are cooler than ours."
"There's goes the neighborhood."
"Wonder if Tim Rickard's Neighborhood Rules still apply.
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
I really liked the female driver one, but oddly, none of our other judges picked that one.

"But I was expecting a July 4th cartoon theme this week…"
"Thank goodness we didn’t do any landscaping this spring."
"If it goes for a body crevice I swear I’ll vaporize it."
"Let’s retaliate with a cattle mutilation tonight."
"I’d gladly donate a pint of body fluid in exchange for the first season of ‘My Favorite Martian’ on DVD."
"It’s not fair, they get crop circles and we only get tire tracks."
Gray Amick, Greensboro

1. "It is sad. They say his mother took Thalidomide."
2. "I know it sounds awful, but all those Landers look alike to me."
3. "Talk about bad breath."
4. "The last thing you are supposed to do is run."
5. "Will this be on YouTube?”
Ken Miller, Greensboro

SNAIL MAIL
"If that's Mary Poppins, I'm gone."
"Looks like Yodas pick-up!"
Frank Freeman, Greensboro

"We need to re-think our immigration policy."
Debra S. Watson, Eden
I enjoy your comics. As an amateur cartoonist I appreciate all the work you put into them.

"Her face is not much but look at those legs."
Bill Jones, Greensboro

"I want to go into space!"
"OMG, it’s Jake Gyllenhaal"
Sandra K. Ramsey, High Point
Sandra says it’s a line from “October Sky"

"Would you really leave me for that blockhead?"
Martha Willis, Greensboro

Told ya! Same sex marriages do not work!
No name given