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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S WINNER
So, whadda ya think of my selections? Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think.
Leave a comment. Tell me your pick. Tell me why the ones I picked stink. Or, if you must, tell me how brilliant my choices are.

Once again, I didn’t give you much to work with. The best captions were the ones that poked fun at the cartoon itself.
OK, I have to redeem myself this week. Let’s see ... what cartoons do you guys like to write captions for? Cows? Nah, did that last week. Cavemen? Bears in conference rooms? I got it! How about a mad scientist? Need more incentive? Next week’s wining entry may be turned into (with permission, of course) a future Brewster Rockit cartoon featuring Dr. Mel.

WINNER
“W H O ‘ _ T H _ _ E W _ U Y ?”
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

RUNNERS-UP
"He just transferred from our children's division."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

Tim Rickard's artwork has really improved
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"He's not going to take another step until you flip the page..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

So I guess we’re downsizing.
Chuck Buckley, Greensboro

"This is what happens when a cartoon is incomplete by deadline"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

Some one needs to switch to De - caff
Paul Poretta , Greensboro

“I don’t understand how Harvey got a job in the art department.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

BEST POEM
I came to work one Monday,
and grabbed a cup of joe,
and what did my green eyes behold,
but a stick-man on the go!

He had a certain spring to his step
and a briefcase in his hand.
A smile so wide from ear to ear
and a tiny little can.

I paused and thought, "This can't be right
a stick-man at my work,
cuz sticks are used for firewood
not corporate paperwork!"

I thought I must be dreaming,
I didn't know what to think.
My brand new boss had just walked by
and he's nothing more than ink!

I swear I'm just hungover,
a little too far gone,
why else would this be happening,
so early Monday morn.

Nobody would ever believe me,
they'll think it was a dream...
Or they just may think I filled my mug,
with Bailey's Irish Cream!

What a way to start my day,
I'm not sure what to do...
I guess I'll check my email...
and write to Jokes On You!

I know that they'll believe me,
they've seen this stuff before,
like cows dressed up in leather coats,
and wolves moving in next door!

Maybe this ol Rickard guy
is messing with our heads
imagine what next week will bring
two panda's in my bed?

Or maybe a buff chipmunk
dressed up like Sly's Rambo,
or Donald Trump dressed like a mime
performing in the snow.

There really is no pattern,
his logic's off the chart,
I just hope next week's cartoon,
is not more old drawn art!
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

There once was a stickman named Sid
Possibly drawn by Rickard's kid,
Without telling you why,
He would poke out your eye,
Then say, "Hey look what I did!"
Tim Tribbet, Greensboro

I'm going out on a limb, but I think Tim is a little too slim,
that smile has got to go, you know, he's just doing it for show!
You know that briefcase holds the next "Jokes on You"
and "Brewster Rockit" too!
(Just couldn't resist) Nancy Nelson

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
"Apparently worked for Lorne Michaels before. Name's Pat. That's all I know."
Tony Hummel, Jamestown

"His name is Harold, and his favorite color is purple."
Kris Voy, Trinity
One of my favorite books from childhood.

BEST INSIDE JOKE
Tim Rickard's artwork has really improved
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"This is what happens when a cartoon is incomplete by deadline"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

“I told you we were in a cartoon.”
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

“He’s one of Rickard’s early creations.”
Bill Wallace, High Point

"Looks like Rickard ran out of time...or ink..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

Tim Rickard is a stick artist now because he couldn't think of any more animals or characters to use
Nancy Nelson

THE REST
Slimfast.
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro
Nice.

" Just another ad from Time-Warner Cable"
Carole McIntyre, Randleman

That is what you call an extreme diet!
Paula Pile, Greensboro

1. Too much caffeine!
2. I wonder what he knows that we don't!
3. What's she smiling about, she has NO figure!
3.That LA weight loss diet is really working.
4. That's taking anorexia to a whole new level.
5. I think we got the short in of the stick, don't you?!
6. If it wasn't for that smile, you wouldn't know he was here.
7. I'd like to wipe that grin off of his face.
8. I guess we know who got the promotion!
Nancy Nelson

9. I hope he's not a member of "The Smiley Face Gang"?
10. He got chosen to represent us in the Olympic Games?
11. Stick with me and we'll break him!
12. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him!
Nancy Nelson

Coffee: $2.00, Breifcase: $30.00, Gastric bypass: PRICELESS
Austin Elmore, Gibsonville

"Go Figure."
Harol Hoffman-Meisner, Greensboro

It looks like Tim's new diet worked too well
It looks like time was pressed for time again this week.
I hear he is great at playing "Hangman"
"He is sooo transparent."
We have to draw a line somewhere on Casual Friday.
I hear the boss likes "Thin Mints."
I'd have worn brown shoes.
I guess he is on a winning 'streak.'
He's the Olsen Twins' Dad.
"Never say "Sticks and Stone's" to Johnson.'
He's on that Pretzel Diet.
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

"I heard talk of downsizing, but this is ridiculous!"
Jennie McNamara, Greensboro

13. He sticks out like a sore thumb!
14. He's so fake!
15. Gimme a break!
16. Let's face it thin is in! Nancy Nelson

17. He's the boss's new take on diversity!
18. I just don't trust anybody who smiles all the time!
19. What's he have that I don't?
20. The boss is branching out again!
Nancy Nelson

"Yeah, he lost the modeling job as the Pillsbury Doughboy, but he's still smiling."
Ken Layton, Carthage

Don't let him fool you; he's a monster in the boardroom.
That's the efficiency guy from corporate; They call him "The Hangman".
So I guess we're downsizing.
Bob must have had a great weekend; he seems so animated.
I don't trust that guy.
HR must be getting desperate.
Chuck Buckley, Greensboro

Some one needs to switch to De - caff
Paul Poretta, Greensboro

T? G? I? F
Paul Poretta, Greensboro

This corporate downsizing is really getting personal!
W. W. Woodruff, Jamestown

They ran Obama's pilot through the "wringer".
He is a "stick" to it kind of guy.
That's Gumby's great grandson.
He been worked to nothingness.
No fashion worries there.
He's a man with no image.
See...he is and airhead....
I am glad we are not subjected to "going" problems.
He's a genealogist.
He does family trees.
Everything about him screams mime.
I hear he married the Michellin man's daughter.
He's the type that will stick it to ya.
His wife steam rolled him in the divorce.
Thats super model Twiggy's husband Limb.
I wonder....he took his wife's Slim Quick........
Christine Keaton, Randleman

He's taking that diet way to serious....
Shawn Barfield, Randleman

1. "He took that "work your fingers to the bone" to a whole new level."
2. "He took that "work your fingers to the bone" to the nth degree."
3. "There goes that smiley stick man."
4. "He lacks character if you ask me."
5. "I wonder if he does any emoticons."
6. "That all day smile unnerves me."
7. "Oh no, another temp. from that smiley agency."
8. "Twenty bucks says it's a girl."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

1. "Sure saves on buying clothes."
2. "Dr. said too much Viagra."
George Cornett, Greensboro

That new guy Bob really works himself to the bone.
Why is he smiling?- He has no genitals.
Why doesn't the new guy have to wear a tie?
Looks like Jared is spending a lot of time at Subway again.
They must have just slashed prices at Walmart again.
Laura Craven, Oak Ridge

This week's caption: "He is really sticking it to us!"
J'edith Exum, Reidsville

1.)Wow, Jenny Craig really does work!
2.)Never play hangman with that guy
3.)Tim Rickard's artwork has really improved
4.)I hear he's really sticking it to his secretary .
5.)That's what happens if you overdo Diet Coke.
6.)That guy is a real stickler for details.
7.) I can never tell if he is naked or not.
8) I don't know his name but his face looks really familiar.
9.)Is he really related to Kate Moss?
10.) I wouldn't be that happy if I had no genitals.
11.) Hey,how come he doesn't have to wear a tye?
12.) What a stick in the mud.
Tim Tribbett, GREENSBORO

You think he could at least "stick" around for a cup of coffee.
Ray Wyrick, Greensboro

The email from HR said he used to teach kindergarten.
Helen Tueffel, Browns Summit

22. That's Brevity!
23. Should we invite him out for lunch?!
Nancy Nelson

"That's Carl, he's head of the company's new down-sizing team"
ERNY KAROLY, Jamestown

"That is NOT what we meant for CASUAL FRIDAY!"
Teresa Blake, Greensboro

"If he says 'Have a nice day' one more time, I'm going to twist him into a Christmas ornament!"
Mike Flint
I liked this one, but I would have ended it after “one more time …” to make it shorter.

24. Let's put a firecracker under his desk!
25. You and me and tree makes three!
26. He wasn't smiling when they set off the fireworks this year!
27. I bet dogs love him!
27. He's looking this way, just frown!
28. He thinks he knows it all!
29. With that fake smile, he has got to be a politician.
Nancy Nelson

"How come he never has to comply with the company's dress code?"
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

Why isn't his face jaundiced today?
He's the first one off the elevator if it's loaded over the weight capacity.
This place will wipe that smile off his face.
Wonder what he took to clear up his jaundice?
He never goes near the snack machines.
In the corporate cog he's just another smiley face.
He's new to the actuarial dept. -- trying to link obesity to morbidity.
He eats 12,000 calories a day . . . but he swims a lot.
The health insurance company has him checking on workplace obesity.
He's working undercover checking on workplace obesity.
You'd smile too if you had scooped that big story for the National Enquirer.
He takes "casual Fridays" a little too far.
He seems mighty happy to have been on an all-night stakeout at a Los Angeles hotel.
That briefcase is stuffed with his bonus from the National Enquirer.
Wish the National Enquirer would send me to a Los Angeles hotel in the middle of the night.
If you've seen one smiley face you've seen them all.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

Carl is taking casual Friday toooooo far!
Mike Riley, Jamestown

30. His bark is worse that his bite!
31.Tree, tree, tree! (Hee, hee, hee)
32. There's no place in this workforce for nudity!
33. I'm not a prude but she's NUDE!
34. Girl, you're barking up the wrong tree!
35. I'm not going out on a limb for this guy!
35. There goes Happy Harvick making another pitt stop!
Nancy Nelson

"He'd rather gas-up his Hummer than buy food."
"He's been on one of those TV diets."
"Poor Tim. The boss has been working him to the bone."
"Have you met the newspaper's new cartoonist?"
Heidi Huber, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada

"This is what happens when a cartoon is incomplete by deadline"
"Where again is this intra-company transfer from?"
"And I thought I was thin!"
"We won't see him at the coffee bar. His ink is water based"
"Keep talking. He can't hear us"
"First impression. He the two-dimensioned cheerleader type"
"New concept. If he can cut it, they will simply wipe him out"
"But can he use a laptop?!"
"He runs the company Day Care center"
"The temp agencies keeping pushing the envelope on help"
"Don't worry. His kind are all smiles, no substance"
"In his briefcase, are markers to touch up his lines"
"They weren't kidding when they said the new boss is different"
"He invited me over this weekend to meet his friends!"
"I'll bet he is in one of those weird cults you see on TV"
"I have seen that face before!!"
"At least he won't be hitting on you"
"And he can be copied!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

I think Joe needs to ease up on the slim fast
John L. Privette

37. He's all talk and no action!
38. I think he needs to leaf out some!
39. Nice grin but he has no chin!
40. You think he could intoduce us to Charlie Brown!
41.Tim Rickard is a stick artist now because he couldn't think of any more animals or characters to use
Nancy Nelson

Now that is what lean management produces!
He is happy because he cannot "down size" anymore.
Kemp Mattocks, Greensboro

"Sure, he's a nice guy but he's really not a people person."
"Lordy, Lordy, Bob weighs forty."
"Don't let that smile fool you. I can practically see right through him."
"Maybe this consultant can help us trim some fat."
"I just love the CEO's new clothes."
"We went to the buffet yesterday. I just don't know where he puts it."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"Hey Mister Smiley face man, play a song for me..."
Cheryl Kidd, Greensboro

"Man! I knew they were talking about downsizing . . . but, this is ridiculous!"
Cheryl Blythe-Carver – Greensboro

"W H O ' _ T H _ _ E W _ U Y ?"
"Don't worry. I hear he's just a figurehead."
"Aren't they just so darned cute on their first day?"
Bob Beitzel, Pleasant Garden

"The company has gone too far with the Lean initiative."
Phil Valla, Greensboro

There's a rumor that he eats only happy meals.
Joan Lux, Greensboro

"So, what do you think of the new Diversity Initiative Instructor?"
"I can't find any references in the employee manual, but he can't be following the dress code."
"It's like his smile is permanently drawn on his face!"
"He says he needs glasses, but doesn't have any way to hold them on his face."
"He only sees things in black and white."
"His wife's name is Barbie...they can't have children."
"Apparently worked for Lorne Michaels before. Name's Pat. That's all I know."
Tony Hummel, Jamestown

"Jared, this Subway thing has gone too far."
"I heard he makes a sticks figure salary."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

"I told you we were in a cartoon."
"I know they told us to connect with our inner child, but this is ridiculous."
"Did I just hear him say, 'Good afternoon, good evening and good night?'''
"I tried to bring my inner child to work.he threw a tantrum."
"That's Tim Rickard's inner child."
"Now I know how Truman felt."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

Sure , He says Life is Good, but I think he has lost weight.
Tim Gray

"I think this is that new weight-loss specialist they just hired."
Dave Derence, Greensboro

"Has Ted lost weight?"
"He just transferred from our children's division."
"Do you notice anything different about John today?"
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

"Either Ted lost 150 lbs. overnight or someone spiked my coffee."
"Please tell me you notice something strange about Bill."
"Looks like someone got hangman."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro
Nice ones.

They send him on trips because he eats like a bird and travels light."
Jon Barsanti Jr, Hillsborough

1. I need to make an appointment with my eye doctor and then a psychiatrist.
2. What are they putting in this coffee?
3. Is he naked or does he have clothes on?
4. I think it's time he got off of Nutra-System.
5. He just walked out of the elevator and the doors never opened.
6. His Dr. put him on a diet but this is ridiculous.
7. He just sold the boss a group plan for his diet and exercise program.
No fast food places for him.
His wife is a pencil.
They take the "all you can eat" buffet sign down when he walks in.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

1. “I don’t understand how Harvey got a job in the art department.”
2. “That’s my wife’s divorce lawyer from the firm, Grin & Bearit.”
3. “Someone needs to tell him to stop taking the stairs.”
4. “He’s been like that since he bought Google at $12.00 a share.”
5. “Now I know why they only show his head.”
6. “We don’t pay him - he’s just happy to be here.”
7. “We need an employee drug screening program.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

Ralph, that guy surely gives new meaning to the statement, " Working yourself to the bare bones!"
Phyllis King, Greensboro

" That must be that new teacher that wrote 'The Art of Simplicity'. "
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

"I can't believe he's our new boss."
"He's my daughter's new boyfriend."
"That's my daughter's new boyfriend. I find him a bit simple."
"Son, don't forget to call me after school!"....'that boy can't seem to remember a thing.' "
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"That's my son. I believe he'd forget his head if it weren't drawn on."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden
CC Cockerham, Greensboro
This idea had potential – head drawn on …

"Yup...that's the guy that taught me everything that I know about business."
Jean Brockman, Pleasant Garden

"Some people find him complicated, but I've found him to be pretty transparent."
"He SEEMs happy, but I can see right through him."
"I'm waiting to see which bathroom they go into."
"Well...I'm just hoping that Pat has to go to the bathroom soon, so that I can see which one it goes into."
"I don't think Race, Creed, or Color is going to apply."
"I think he thinks it's Casual Friday."
"I hear that HR had to rewrite the dress code."
Here's my entry for this week's cartoon:
(I'm pretty sure this is NOT going to be "PC".)
"That's our new Salesman from Ethiopia."
"That's our new Salesman from Ethiopia...can you believe that he didn't want to wear shoes."
CC Cockerham, Greensboro

He is happy because he got a perfect score on his PSA test.
Don Rankin, Greensboro

“He's certainly not worried about downsizing.”
“Looks like accounting has its skeleton crew reporting today.”
“Davenport has either lost weight or is experimenting with Viagra.”
“He's certainly not afraid to stick it to management.”
“Looks like HR is taking affirmative action very seriously.”
“The rumor is he’s seeing Twiggy from accounting.”
Gray Amick, Greensboro

"That's the new boss. He drives an awesome BMW stick shift."
"Is it just me, or is the company operating at bare bones these days?"
"All I said was our company needs to go back to the drawing board."
"He must be a plant. He looks way too happy every day."
"I'm waiting for him to take out his purple crayon and eliminate our positions."
"That's the new hire. They promoted him off the assembly line."
"His name is Harold, and his favorite color is purple."
"It's HR's latest ploy to make us love our jobs."
"He thinks outside the box. Matter of fact, I think he used to BE a box!"
Kris Voy, Trinity

"He used to be John Edwards."
Reta S. Beck, Greensboro

"I don't think Harry quite understood the memo about downsizing."
Diane Bishop, Greensboro

"Wow...Bob sure has a spring in his step since trying Enzyte!"
"He heard Wal-Mart was hiring..."
"Wow Tammy...looks like the new diet is really starting to pay off!"
"I can never tell them apart...is that Mary-Kate or Ashley?"
"Does Tim really think I'm going to fall for the old Draw-Myself-On-The-Wall trick?"
"What does he think this is YouTube?"
"If anybody should be thinkin Arby's it's that guy..."
"This happens every time it's Bring-Your-Kid-To-Work day at the News & Record."
"Hey Bill...what time is Stickball practice on Saturday?"
"He works nights over at Fire N Stix..."
"You do see that too right?"
"That's the corporate cleaner they brought in. You don't want to get caught up in a game of hangman with THAT guy!"
"There has got to be something wrong with him...nobody can be that happy ALL the time..."
"I hate that smug little grin he always gives you when you try and talk to him..."
"He's not going to take another step until you flip the page..."
"Looks like I'm now just one pink eraser away from a nice corner office..."
"Times must be tought when they allow supermodels into corporate America..."
"He's more of a Ba-Dink-A-Dink"
"Wait...wait...flip the page backwards...it's hilarious..."
"Looks like Rickard ran out of time...or ink..."
"Bill's nothing more than a corporate Pencil Pusher..."
"There goes Tim...stickin' it to the man!"
"Woah...this is coffee isn't it?"
"Great...I know I'm going to end up pissing in the janitor's closet now that he's quit..."
I really wish I had drawn the figure to look more like the bathroom symbol cause this would have won hands down – although we’d have to do something about that one word …
"Don't call him Twiggy..he HATES it when you call him Twiggy..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

“When did we hire Ally McBeal”
Mike McLaurin, Trinity

He get’s one more promotion I’m bringing out the eraser.
He seems a little sketchy!
Him telling ME to get the lead out is a little hypocritical.
He started out on the floor of the art department…now he’s the CEO.
A little white-out would take care of that silly grin.
David Robinette, Rockingham County
"Well isn't that swell... a streaker at the workplace."
Ian Knight, Greensboro
Good one, just got in too late.