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Welcome to the News & Record's "Jokes on You" page. Each week I'll post the new cartoon for your caption consideration (see above) and post the previous week's cartoon, the winning entries and all the other entries (see below). I will also try to talk a little about what I liked about the captions I chose and why I thought they worked. Feel free to post comments and ask questions. And remember, this is for entertainment purposes only, so please, no wagering.

LAST WEEK'S CARTOON
I almost passed on this idea for a cartoon because I thought the captions it would generate would be too similar. Not a lot of places you can go with this. Or so I thought. I didn’t count on how good you guys are at thinking outside the box. I mean, the Rorschach references alone were priceless (We picked what we thought was the best of those, but still, kudos to everyone who went there.) Also, see the blog for entries that were a bit more ... “scatological” in nature for those of us who never grew up.

WINNER
Dear, it’s time to go to the hospital. My water just broke.
Jack Snead, Jamestown

RUNNERS-UP
Call a doctor,that should be blue!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

So much for his job interview today!
Nancy Nelson

Oh no! On young unknown Dr Rorschach's new shirt!
Kevin Little

"You ever get that 'Not So Fresh' feeling?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

"Hurry Fred, apply pressure to my ball point."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

It happens every time I sneeze
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

Oops! I thought it was only gas.
Peggy Clapper, Greensboro

Wasn’t me!
Tribb, Roanoke, Va.

"That was the scariest story I've ever heard."
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

BEST OBSCURE CULTURAL REFERENCE
I don't know nuthin bout birthin no babies miss Scarlett!
Tim Tribbett, Greensboro

"Look, I just invented the Nickelodeon background."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

45. Did I do that?! ( Remember Urkel)
Nancy Nelson

BEST INSIDE JOKE
You be brief ,I'll be pithy
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Brewster's clueless, he did it!
Nancy Nelson

BEST / WORST PUN
"Oops. Ink-ontinence again"
Mike Flint, Greensboro

"Blot's On Your Mind?"
Bob Mannary, Greensboro

SCATALOGICAL ROUND-UP
"I told you not to pull my finger."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

"Ops, I should have used those Depends."
Barbara Golding, Reidsville

“Never trust a fart”
Robert Patalano, Greensboro
Louis Tellez, Jamestown

Oops! I thought it was only gas.
Peggy Clapper, Greensboro

Uh oh,that fart felt a little wet!
Sorry,too much fruit!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1. “Don’t look, I’m inking!”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

3) I don't remember eating that.
4) So much for trying to sneak one out
7) I thought it was just gas
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va

" I got the runs."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

"Oops, I cut a wet one!"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

1. Well, the laxative worked.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

THE REST
Dear, it's time to go to the hospital. My water just broke.
Jack Snead, Jamestown
First entry. Sometimes your first instinct is the best.

Uh-oh! I should have had that Datrol discussion!
Linda Willard, High Point

"I told you not to pull my finger."
Sharon Shepard, Jamestown

"Aww, I inked!"
Gina De Naples, Greensboro

1. OOps!
2. He should've used protection!
3. Wasn't me!
4. You think he'll notice!
5. Can I borrow your eraser?
6. Where's the protector when you need it?!
7. Who dun it? 8. Incontinence!
9. When you got to go, you got to go!
10. So much for his job interview today!
11. I'm betting he doesn't get the job!
12. Do you think he'll spot that?!
13. Where's that stain out pen?!
14. You shouldn't have made me laugh!
15. Did you do that?!
Nancy Nelson

16. We can just Shout It Out!
17. Nancy Nelson

17. I'm going to get fired!
18. Time for retirement!
19. He's going to CAN me!
19. Don't give me that look!
20. He needed a splash of color.
Nancy Nelson

"My diaper's too small."
That's ok. He's Dr. Rorschach.
Nice. We liked the wording of the runner-up a little better
J. C. Winkler, Greensboro

"I just couldn't wait."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"He said the pocket guard looked too nerdy."
Ken Layton, Carthage

"I don't understand. This has never happened before."
"This has never happened before."
Lee Poole, Greensboro

It's time for the plastic pocket protector.
Where's the plastic pocket protector?
Well you're the one who pushed my button!
So I'm old and I leak, get over it!
Isn't there a new drug for this problem?
Joan Lux Greensboro

21. I was just too full!
22. Look what you made do!
23. I told you not to squeeze me!
24. Cover for me! 25. Can you keep a secret?
26. It matches the color of his eyes!
27. Quick, use your head!
28. No problem, we'll tell him it's coffee!
29. I have no inkling as to what happened!
30. I can't blame you, can I?!
31. Brewster's clueless, he did it!
Nancy Nelson

Well if you hadn't told that really funny joke . . . .
. . . and you aren't the sharpest pencil.
If you didn't have that eraser you'd NEVER be used!
Shush, or I'll whittle you down to a stub.
Joan Lux Greensboro

"Never trust a fart"
Robert Patalano, Greensboro

" It's Grape Jelly ! ! ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

Now I know the difference between a jot and tittle!
Sarah Towle, High Point

"Where did you put the Depends"?
Barbara Golding, Reidsville

"Ops, I should have used those Depends."
Barbara Golding, Reidsville, NC

Bladder control problems?
No name given

"This has never happened before. HONESTLY!!"
David Manley, Summerfield

1.) oopsy!
2.)Do you feel something wet?
3.) Its the only way I can see that sexy Tide pen.
4.)Can I borrow your head?
5.)Can you spare a little head?
6.)Not my fault,he didn't click me!
7.) I didn't do it!
8.)That's a old stain,really!
9.)Wha happened?
10.)Yikes,he's a horrible driver!
11.)I've had this problem since I was a kid.
12.)Sorry,too much fruit!
13.)Why did you move way over there?
14.)Well,I guess that will teach him not to wear white to the office.15.)I just had the worst nightmare!
16.)Call a doctor,that should be blue!
17.)Sometimes older pens develop this problem.
18.) I think I just inked myself !
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

He normally has protection.
I hate it when that happens
White shirts are the best
That's the only black ink his investments will see for a while.
Jon Barsanti Jr

I'm so excited to see you!
I'm so happy to see you!
It wasn't me, I'm red ink.
Don't look at me that way, its soy sauce from lunch.
Behave yourself. I haven't seen Bill since he did that.
Behave yourself. I haven't seen BIC since he did that.
Noelle Polson, Jacksonville, FL

I forgot to take my Flo-Max today.
Don Rankin, Greensboro
Sounds amusing, but many of us weren’t too familiar with a lot of drugs.

"I'm a Wachovia pen, I'm busted"
John Blake, Whitsett

1. Got any extra Depends?
2. That was really scary, wasn't it?
3. What makes you think I write campaign ads?
4. Yes, I am a government purchased-by-low-bid pen. How did you guess?
5. Yes, I have been writing dirty jokes again.
6. Oops! I thought it was only gas.
7. No problem. I'm actually a bleach pen travelling incognito
Peggy Clapper, Greensboro

" i've been meaning to get some of those Depends diapers"
tommy poole, thomasville

"Have you tried Inkmodium?"
Joan Hunt, Greensboro'

"Oops. Excuse me."
From Shirley Wyzga-Johnson, Greensboro

1) Ewww,it feels warm and sticky
2.)He shouldn't buy such cheap pens.
3.)Just look what you did!
4.)Will you take the fall for me?
5.) I'm no Mont blanc that's for sure.
6.)We older pens need pocket protecters.
7.)Don't you judge me!
8.) I feel lighter for some reason.
9.)Please tell me I'm refillable!
10.)You're a #2 pencil and I'm a pen who does #2.
11.)That's the reason I don't get dates.
12.)Uh oh,that fart felt a little wet!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

I should have gone before we left
Tribb, Roanoke, Va,

1) Don't worry, it doesn't smell.
2) I get nervous when he pushes the top of my head
3) I don't remember eating that.
4) So much for trying to sneak one out
5) I guess you will tell everyone about this
6) It's an ink thing, you wouldn't understand
7) I thought it was just gas
8) I should probably never block a sneeze
9) What does he expect? I've been in this pocket all day
10) WASN"T ME !
11) I'm seeing a doctor about this
12) So, probably not a good first impression?
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

"I should have worn protection."
Anonymous, Greensboro
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha …

"I feel so cheap."
Marsha Elam, Greensboro

1.)That's payback for chewing on us!
2.) I got him back for rubbing the top of your head off !
3.)Oh click ! 4.) I'm a little nervous about signing that 700 billion dollar bailout bill!
5.)Uh oh,W is going to be pissed!
6.) We need a cleanup in pocket one.
7.)We almost fell out the last time he bent over!
8.)I think I just clicked in my sleep!
9.)Spray and Wash ain't gonna get that.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"Oops. Ink-ontinence again"
Mike Flint, Greensboro

Oops, I did it again
Do you think they will notice?
"Excuse Me"
John Lonergan, Whitsett,

Oh no! On young unknown Dr Rorschach's new shirt!
Kevin Little

"You oughta know everybody makes mistakes - that's why erasers were made."
"Everybody makes mistakes - that's why erasers were made."
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Yeah, I made a mess - What's your point?"
Brandon Breeze, Greensboro

"Never trust a Fart"
Louis Tellez, Jamestown,

"Now THAT's one scary haunted house!"
"Well, that was an exciting ride."
Andy Ralston-Asumendi, Greensboro

1.)That's revenge for breaking off my little clip thingy!
2.)Shout it out!3.)I don't know nuthin bout birthin no babies miss Scarlett!
4.)That's never happened to me before
5.)I feel sooo much better!
6.)I just couldn't hold it any longer!
7.)Did you get any on ya?
8.)He shouldn't use me to stir coffee.
9.)Can I borrow some of your shavings?
10.)Ooooh,I hate to do that in a Ralph Lauren.
11.)I'm almost finished. 12.)My ink doesn't stink
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

1. "So sorry, I thought I had an anti leak device."
2. "Give me a break, 8 hours stuck in here is long enough."
3. "Opps, I had an accident."
4. "Oh no, not again."
5. "You need to keep your cap on."
6. " You know, a pencil would never make that mess."
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

1.)Well,I guess nobody's going to want to steal me now.
2.) I made a stinky inky.
3.) What do you mean disposable?
TIM TRIBBETT,GREENSBORO

1) The "Sharpener story" was very scary!
2) Please, never tell me about the sharpener again!
3) So, is your head only good for cleaning up lead accidents?
4) I bet I get blamed for this
5) Wanna switch sides?
6) It was like this when I got here, I promise!
7) This probably never happens to you.
8) Nothing I say will make me feel better about this.
9) You're not going to forget this are you?
10) That was NOT supposed to happen!
11) This is going to be a problem for you, isn't it?
12) They stick your butt in a WHAT!
13) OOPS!
14) Maybe, if you use your head, you can get me out of this.
TRIBB, Roanoke, Va.

1) "Well, I've done it again!"
2) "Isn't there a pill for this?"
3) "It's OK--the fabric is stainproof"
4) "My bottom feels wet!"
Bill Beerman, Greensboro

It happens everytime I sneeze
Frank Beamon, Greensboro

32. Out damned Spot!
33. It's just a joke!
34. The Joke's on him!
35. He'll never spot it!
36. Ink blots are a sign of intelligence!
37. Spot on! 38. It kinda looks like a turtle!
38. I spy something black!
40. Write on!
Nancy Nelson

"He had a little sword but I... I thought I could take him."
"Hurry Fred, apply pressure to my ball point."
"Get the bags Henry, my ink just broke."
"That's the funniest story I ever heard."
"I got shot right here in the corner pocket."
"She kicked me right in the ball point."
"Hurry Frank, tilt my cartridge back."
"Get your lousy thumb off of me."
"Promise me that you'll donate my cartridge."
"Don't click me there you fool."
"I'll..I'll never ever sign the bailout bill."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

41. It was an accident!
42. I'm not a Big Drip!
43. Squirt!
44. It's art!
Nancy Nelson

1.)I think I just doodled!
2.)Did you say Duke won a football game?!!
3.)Hey,at least I'm not getting shorter!
4.)Its the big house for me now!
5.)Next time you try to vault out don't hit my clicker!
6.)I'm too young to go in the can!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

45. Did I do that?! ( Remember Urkel)
46. Sorry, I'm not a graphite artist like you!
Nancy Nelson

" You Don't Have An Inkling What It's Like ! ! ! "
" You Never Seen An Inky - Dinky - Do ? "
" Can You Erase My Inky-Dinky-Do ? "
" Was Hoping For A Dry Run ! "
" Just Pencil Me In, Please ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

" I Couldn't Hold It Any Longer ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

"I got to stop staying out all night and inking."
"Oops!"
" I got the runs."
"The end is near."
" Too excited."
"Uug ooh! Look out trash can."
James E. Ferrell, McLeansville

* "It's the prune ink!!"
* "That's red. I am blue ink!"
* "Got a bleach stick!?"
* "Cheap!! Better cheap than obsolete!!"
* "I know a pocket protector is dorky but..."
* "I'll be sent to the Isle of Bad Pens!!"
* "Eraserhead, need some help here!"
* "Oops, I cut a wet one!"
* "Ok, ok, I was made in China!!"
* "Have any Pepto?"
* "This can't happen. I'm a BIC!!
* "What till the misses sees this!
* "Want to trade places?"
* "Is was a technical malfunction. I reported it"
Dennis LaJeunesse, Greensboro

"We call it getting the lead out, what do you guys call it?"
"My doctor warned me about spicy stationery."
"I assume your colonoscopy is tomorrow morning?"
Gray Amick, Greensboro

1.) You be brief ,I'll be pithy.
2.)Did you just hear a click?
3.)Well,he said to be brief and pissy.
4.)Waiting for it to dry is the worst part.
5.)Calgon,take me away!
6.) Oh no,this will mean back in the pocket protector.
7.)You would think a cartoonist would buy better pens .
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Oh no ! It's these "over-filled barrels" again - causing us dis-dain !
Rose Franks, Greensboro

1.)Sometimes I seep in my sleep.
2.) Too much olestra.
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

"That'll teach the nerd to forget his pocket protector."
Carl Niedziela, Pelham

22. Look what you made me do!
Nancy Nelson

Now I know how the Exxon Valdez felt!
Tim Tribbett,Greensboro

Haven't we played this venue before?
It's good to be back in the News and Record!
It's my usual schtick!
You would think he would learn not to wear white when we play Greensboro.
Tony Hummel, Greensboro

"O.K, what do you see now?"
"Look, I just invented the Nickelodeon background."
Joel Tuggle, Archdale

1. “Don’t look, I’m inkling!”
2. “Never mind me - do you know you keep getting shorter?”
3. “I dreamed I was a Rorschach ink blot.”
4. “Come on! You said you can make things disappear.”
5. “I think he’s drunk, he tried to sharpen me.”
6. “You scared the ink out of me!”
7. “Please tell me you’ve been chewing tobacco.”
8. “I feel like - I don’t know, the words escape me.”
9. “I’ve been doodled to death.”
10. “What’s the matter, never seen a pen take a leak before?”
11. “I’m afraid I’m at a loss for words.”
12. “You think I should suggest a pocket protector?”
13. “I’m about to be the victim of severe trauma.”
14. “It must be karma. I’ve written a lot of bad checks.”
Tom Norman, Greensboro

1- That's my impression of an octopus.
2- Well, excuse me!!
3- Oops! overdosed on Metamucil.
4- Does that eraser just work on pencil?
5- This nerd ought to wear a pocket protector.
Max Harless, High Point

1. "Oh no, you didn't."
Margie Ellington, Reidsville

" Lost our Shirt to Trickle Down ! "
" Trickle Down Cost Our Shirt ! "
Frank C. Leonard, Lexington

1. I know he will tell his wife that it was my fault
2. Woops!
3. Third shirt this week. Will he ever learn?
4. I'm tired of doing laundry detergent commercials.
5. I couldn't hold it any longer.
6. I wish I was a ballpoint.
Dave Sheets, Greensboro

"That was the scariest story I've ever heard."
"I told you not to push my head."
"Quick. Let's change places."
"Got any hairspray?"
Brent Wooten, Thomasville

1. Well, the laxative worked.
2. Don't look at me I have red ink.
3. Look closely, the ink blot looks like an upside down turtle.
4. I'm sorry I shouldn't have taken the laxative.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"You haven't witnessed a "black-out" before?"
Chrystal Carr

" I think it's time for De-PENZ..."
by Chrystal Carr

" Oops "
" He probably won't notice "
" Do you think the wedding will still go on ?"
" Oh-oh, and it had to be a white shirt "
" You pencils just don't know how lucky you are "
" That's it, no more cheap refills "
Lee F. Richmond, Jamestown

1. Look closely, the ink blot looks like a turtle on his back.
Dick Ellis, Pleasant Garden

"I told you not to push it..."
"Well...it could be worse...last time it was priapism so I guess I should be happy!"
"The Market is down How Much?!?!?!?"
"How much is left in my 401K?"
"You think anyone will notice?"
"Yes that is a pen in his pocket and I'm NOT happen to see him!"
"Ooopsy"
"That's probably gonna leave a mark..."
"You ever get that 'Not So Fresh' feeling?"
"It's ink...I Swear!"
"Wait...wait...the guy at the magic shop said it'll disappear..."
"Oooh...Pardon Me..."
"Blot's On Your Mind?"
"I kinda thind it looks like a rooster playing piano...you?"
"Let's see him sign the bailout plan now..."
"Top That!"
"I told you not to scare me like that!"
"I didn't do it..."
"And you thought the whole Visine thing was an urban legend didn't ya?"
"Hehehe...that tickled!"
"And HE said pocket protectors are only for nerds!"
"I spilled my coffee...I SWEAR!"
"Got Ink?"
"It's been happening since I was a kid..."
"My Dad was a Sharpie so there was always a good chance this would happen someday..."
"I only fell asleep for a second..."
"...then Ms. Dunbar said I had to stay after class and yadda, yadda, yadda, I woke up like this..."
"It's not funny! It's a genuine medical condition!"
"Well NOW he's a Maverick with an Ink Spot!!"
"I did NOT have any type of relations with that stapler!"
"If you're not going to offer any helpful advice then just keep quiet!"
"I don't laugh at you whenever yours breaks off now do I??"
"WHAT?!?!?! Your telling me you didn't see her walk by??"
"It was there when I got here..."
"Well she asked me to wear a cap but it just doesn't feel the same..."
"They really don't make a cap big enough if you know what I mean..."
"If you say, 'Inka Dinka Bottle Of Ink' just ONE More Time..."
Bob Mannary, Greensboro