News-Record.com

I would have published it. If you disagree, then don't read it. If I see something on TV I find offensive, I simply turn the channel. It is fine to bring up the issue of children, but it's not like you were showing pornographic materials. Sheltering children only makes them more curious, teach them and they won't want to explore things they don't know about. I read the article and found nothing offensive. I could however see how diehard church folks would see it the other way. In a free country we are sometimes exposed to things we don't like, but to ban these things undermines the very freedoms we cherish.

UNCG's newspaper, The Carolinian, runs a regular sex column. When it was written by a gay man named John Russell (now writing for The Village Voice in New York) we got tons of letters complaining about anything and everything he wrote.

Now that it's a straight female we've gotten exactly one negative letter in a year and a half - and that was because her column wandered into religious territory. The column's no less graphic now and covers essentially the same topics - but the messenger's changed.

Our demographic is different - which is why it's a lot easier to say: "Oh come on -- you're going to tell me the average reader has never used a sex toy?"

But it's still always strange, somehow, to hear people make the argument that anything that finds its way into print is a blanket endorsement. Would they make the same argument about crime reporting or feature stories on homelessness? It is important that people get a look at their communities - even if they don't like what they see.

I think that you should get a pat on the back for taking a chance and publishing the story. If there was more stories like this, I think I'd perhaps order a subscription to the newspaper and read it more often then not. The truth is most of us, have a few skeletons in the closet. It's nice to read about real life, rather then the watered down politically correct news.

Most of those who complain probably aren't getting any action. Perhaps they should attend one of those parties. If they can't find something to share with a partner, then they might get something for themselves. To paraphrase Woody Allen, masterbation is sex with someone you really love.

We live in the perfect/point-a-finger dichotomy of times. We're all perfect so we point fingers when anyone says we're not. "They" are imperfect (point point point).

The single biggest sex toy sold in the US is the vibrator. (Look at online sites; see how many types there are.) Many people use vibrators. So many are sold, one presumes they're being used; sex toys are an industry. So it shows up in the N&R and alluvasudden it's blasphemous to say so?

That's the problem with dichotomies (aka "The Cartesian Gameboard" of black and white or right and wrong with no reason or thought process between the two poles). If you're not on the perfect side, then you're imperfect (point point point). The sex toy industry is huge; your article could easily have gone on the business pages.

But we have to (point point point) say, "No, we don't do that! It's immoral!" and then "we" go back to Walmart and buy more batteries.

Oh feh, to the complainers. It was a fun article! Have our problems just destroyed our community sense of humor? Don't we smile anymore? Is NOTHING funny?

In response to Sue I would say that many are losing their sense of humor because of our fear of what we see in the commmunity/nation/world around us. We are labeled conservatives, or Christian zombies, as one blogger called me recently.

For me, it boils down to this. I know my heritage. I know my ancestry. I am not, as Ralph Ellison said, wandering in search of meaning in America. Family, hard work, faith and justice are my creed.

At risk of peril, I would like to mention one Leo Strauss, a philospoher of the 20th century, who much disdained in the context of current political rhetoric, makes one salient point related to this post.

In the preface to "The City and Man", his examination of Plato, Aristolte and Thucydides, he contends that modern American democracy (the 1950-60 era for Strauss) is fighting against the very foundation that made western democracy, hence America, great. Examine for yourself what traits allowed western democracy to rise above other cultures and build a vibrant society that includes da Vinci, Mozart, Dostoevsky, economic prosperity and contitutional democracy just to name a few.

I don't think open homosexuality, meaningless self-gratification and celebration of the fringe and underbelly of culture are among those traits.

By turning to the opposite of what made us great, we are, in Strauss' view, undermining the foundation of our culture.

So, Sue, when some look around and see garbage culture everywhere, on tv at 7pm, on the commercials of an NFL football game at 2pm on Sunday, in every print media, surrounding us like the floods waters from a broken levee, yes, we tend to lose our sense of humor.

Every one, of course, is free to make their own choice in this, the greatest of societies. Some of us choose to cling to our heritage because we love it dearly.

Respectfully,

Jeff

Well, I mean, I was like wondering, WHAT are the handcuffs for? I mean, I GET the oils, though, flavored, I'm like all ick!

I guess I need to be educated on some of this stuff. Who wants to accompany me to Priscilla's and explain a few things? I'll BLOG it!!!

Jeff,

I agree that much in our popular culture is smirky and smutty and annoying and dumb. As the parents of two middle-schoolers, we spend a lot of time talking about what's appropriate, and we put a lot of effort into modeling appropriate behavior.

But...how do sex toys, or articles about sex toys, contradict the values of family, hard work, faith, and justice?

Mightn't at least some of the many, many people who believe in family, hard work, faith, and justice also like sex toys, or at least newspaper articles about sex toys?

Yes many fine people likely also enjoy sex toys or feature articles about them and shops, etc.

My main point (and please forgive the typos, my fingers go too fast sometimes) was in response to the lack of a sense of humor among conservatives, as Sue asked. I was trying to focus on that point, because I think too often in these blogs and also in regular conversation we lose sight of each sides' supporting foundation, our motivations.

I likely wouldn't get up in arms about newspaper content, though many would. As JR pointed out, even when papers run articles about AA or reformed alcoholics and drug users they get calls saying "why do you glorify such and such."

I just wanted to address issue of why so many have no tolerance left, not cast judgment.

Jeff.

OK, thanks for the response.

And of course, conservatives have no lock on revering family, hard work, faith, and justice.

I'm tired of all those advertisements you run for tools on sale. Tool ads are a bad influence on children and will cause them a lifetime of pain and shame.

I tore the N&R apart every day of my childhood dreaming of all the tools I saw there. I grew up learning how to work with my hands. Instead of footballs or baseball gloves I begged for tools for my birthday and Christmas. I spent my allowance on tools. I spent my N&R paper route earnings on tools. It was such a shame to watch me fall beyond the reach of anyone who might help me.

Now that I'm older my body aches and my hands hurt; I'm growing old before my time and the guys who never learned to work with their hands make the big bucks and have better health insurance. It's your fault, your newspaper was a bad influence on me, you lead me down the road to tool addiction. Now, despite the fact that I hurt from head to toe I still crave more tools to do more work than ever before and it's all your fault.

It's your fault! Your fault! Your fault! Your fault! Your Fau...........

Three issues (and a query):

1. Does writing about a 'lifestyle product' like this in a nonjudgmental tone imply tacit approval?
John: no
me: yes

2. Does it matter whether the paper does or does not show tacit approval?
Jay: no
me: yes

3. Is approval justified in this case?
Ed: yes
me: yes

And what I'm wondering is, you guys have such a cutting-edge newspaper and all, so why no link to the accompanying video?

I think its great to publish such stories. and am glad your station does not just listen to the prudes of America. Sex is a natural behavior and toys enhance feelings which in return enhance the pleasure. I think its great you do such advertisments and you have my respect for doing so.

Forgive the late reply, I'm not in these parts except in bursts.

Jeff, I wasn't talking about Conservatives. I was talking about Americans - all of them. I see a general unhappiness in the country and an almost fear of laughing at anything anymore lest you get blog-swarmed.

Ed, to follow up, I friend who's a marriage & family therapist. She has "adult videos" in her collection of tools. When I asked, she said, "Shouldn't married people have great sex lives, too?" A good point -- toys are for people and someone made an assumption that sex and marriage don't co-exist.

Finally, jw, let's go! I think it'd be fun to enlighten you and to watch your face.

Coward: RIGHT ON!

Newspapers will never understand that by simply DOING a story about a certain issue (and where they play it in the paper) they are making a statement about what THEY find interesting and what is a "norm"

It's the same way they do a GOTCHA story, but never actually say "gotcha" -- they just splay it high on the front page with the wink and raised eyebrow like "eh, look at this... we're completely non-biased, but would ya look at this? hmmm. yes, we're scratching our heads and you should too"

this is similar... (although not gotcha journalism)

another issue:
what's sad is that these "passion parties" have been going on for years.. I didnt read the article, but FEELS like one of those ideas that was cooked up by editors in a "brainstorm" meeting (complete with PostIt Notes) to come up with ideas that will appeal to a "younger, more hip demographic"

the funny thing is that the younger, more hip demographic just laughs at your lame (and johnny come lately -- no pun intended) attempt..

Also, this if off topic, but anyone want to bet ANY amount of money that Breea Willingham (mentioned in an alumni note last week) won't mention in her upcoming tretise about the Million Man March the actual ATTENDANCE of the so-called Million Man March?

There's nothing worse than liberal journalists except for liberal journalists who become washed-up and then teach -- for a living -- others how to be liberal.

BIO HERE

AP puts attendance at 400k, by the way. Willingham will certainly omit that fact in her feel-good love-in fluff piece.

What is really funny about the conservatives saying, "this is wrong, that is wrong" is that some of you are hypocrites. Porn is a multi billion dollar industry and us liberals don't have all that money. Think about what you preach next time your forking over $20 to Bambi for a lapdance. It is also funny that most conservatives say homosexuality is soooo wrong, but most of your leaders have gay children. So, what's up? It's not all liberals and it's not always squeeky clean conservatives. Please explain this. Also, why is it priests who are being found to rape and molest little boys and are getting off. Maybe you should start with your own churchs?

Mr Wilson....what could be "feel good" about this: "from her perspective as a black woman with a father and brother in prison"? If you could stop reading with your lens of hate you might SEE and comprehend something. And no, I'm not Breea, but I do know her (I, too, am an N&R alumna) and I think it is presumptuous of you to declare a 32-year-old woman "washed up." Please. That's barely even MID-career.

Don't bother to reply cause I'm done with you.

To get on topic....why is it I can't view or read anything because someone else's child MIGHT see it? Why can't people police their own children, why is it the media's responsibility to censor for children?? In my house my parents decided what we watched or didn't watch on TV/videos etc. I can remember not being allowed to see Ode to Billy Joe because my mother thought the subject matter was too mature for me. My parents, however, did NOT write or lambast the tv station for airing Ode to Billy Joe. My parents checked the books I chose from the library, the friends I hung out with, the movies I went to and the places I went...they didn't expect anybody to parent me but them since THEY were my parents. Good grief people!

Oh, I'm replying to you govtwriter, you complete and total IDIOT.

What will be "feel good" about it is that it will UNDOUBTABLY be about how such an event has changed the world and how great and wonderful it was/is. Blah, blah... blah... What a "sea change" it caused among people. Yada, yada, yada

In fact, the "sad" part that you point out is EXACTLY why it will be a feel-good, uplifting piece. Think CLICHE!!! That is what it will be!

What on EARTH do you think she's going to write? "My relatives are in jail and it's all because of the 400,000 Man March?"
No, you IDIOT.
No, she's going to write a syrupy story that paints a very slanted view of what a great thing the 400k Man March was.

Also, someone who has twice resigned from jobs as daily newspaper reporter IS a washed up reporter.

"After a year and half at the D&C, Willingham decided to take a break from daily news reporting and left the paper"

"Willingham spent two years in the state capital before deciding she had simply had enough of daily news reporting. "

She's certainly not "washed up" in terms of future other pursuits... but her journalism career as a reporter is washed up, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.

Oh, and don't reply because "I'm through with you!" How mature govtwriter...

Mr. Wilson:

If you're going to criticize me for anything please get your facts straight. There is nothing "feel good," "loving," or otherwise "fluff" about my Million Man March piece. I wrote an op-ed piece looking at the anniversary of the march from the perspective of a black woman with a father and brother in prison. Where's the fluff in that?

Also, I believe the correct spelling of the word is treatise. If you're going to make any attempt at insulting me, please check your spelling and grammar. Perhaps your "washed up, liberal" professor - assuming you went to college - should have taught you that.

And since when is 32 washed up? I had a wonderful 10-year career as a reporter and now I'm starting a second career with plans to get a doctorate and write books. I wouldn't call accomplishing my goals and setting new ones "washed up."

And there IS something worse than liberal journalists becoming liberal teachers:

Bitter journalists who stay in journalism because they don’t have the intelligence or skills to do something different.

Have a great day Mr. Wilson.

OK, Mr Wilson, since you seem to want a fight let me break it down for you...I have READ Breea's piece...YOU haven't, yet you continue to discuss it as if you know what is or isn't in it!! THAT, by anyone's definition, is complete and utter foolishness and idiocy!! Also, I don't know how many journalists you know, but I do know several who successfully moved between the academic world and the newsroom...for example, Allen Johnson, editorial editor for the N&R, teaches at NCA&T. I can name others but that's one person you're sure to know, so I'll stop at him.

Oh, great! This is my dream come true! Sparing the great accomplished Breea Willingham and the mature govtwriter.

First, yes, you are washed up as a daily newspaper reporter. You admit that! "...now I'm starting a second career.." !!!! This after you QUIT doing your first career TWICE!

Second, back to the original point -- now that you've joined us: did you mention the 400k attendance?

Third, I'd love to read this wonderful piece of work that is so utterly depressing and certainly paints the FHTMM (Four Hundred Thousdand Man March) as an awful, failure of an event. Do you have a link to this wonderful op-ed that took six months to write? Please share!

Fourth, my spelling does leave something to be desired. You're right about that. In this ridiculous argument, I'll at least be mature enough to admit my fault.

Are you through with me? I'm getting so scared... I don't think I can handle the bullying any longer...

HA!

Sure, you can read it when it's published in USA Today. So, keep an eye out for it Mr. Wilson. And thanks for "sparing" us. LOL!

You're right Mr. Wilson.

This is a ridiculous exchange, so I'm ending it now. But thanks for providing me with a great laugh this afternoon.

Have a great evening!

Oh, it HASN'T been published yet? Willingham and yourself seem to imply that it HAS. Hmmmm...

And, yet you have somehow read it already? Oh, I see what's going on here... Things that make you go "hmmmmmmm"

For something that took six months of a washed up reporter's time to write, I can't wait.

Also, I guess since I've now somehow made it on Willingham's radar, she can now include the 400k number and make me seem wrong (although ONCE AGAIN I will point out that this op-ed will certainly NOT be an indictment of the FHTMM.)

Are you through? Did I misspell anything else? I so wish this had spell-check because spelling really is what counts as a writer... Willingham should know that...

I never implied it had been published, I said I had read it and you hadn't. How would I know you hadn't read it? Cause I knew it hadn't been published yet and seems as if you knew that, too...one of your posts referenced it as an upcoming piece and another post makes references to what might be in it... now you say we misled you. LOL! LOL! WHEW! Just admit it Mr. Wilson, you lost the "argument" (which was what again, I forget). But seriously, this whole "discussion" with you has been some great entertainment for me today. So I wanna thank you for that Mr. Wilson! You take care.

The argument is very simple:

1) Willingham IS a washed up reporter.

2) The op-ed WON'T include the true number of attendees.

3) The op-ed will not be an indictment of the event, but instead will paint a very glowing picture of it.

That was the basis for the argument.

How did I "lose" it exactly?

Until *I* read the op-ed, I certainly didn't lose #2 or #3.

And, Willingham's status as a washed up reporter is very, very clear.

So, I think I "win," unless spelling counts. And, then I think I guess I've "lost."

Prof. Willingham has stressed enough how spelling is important! Good thing she is a teacher now!

ROFL!

Returning to the subject:

This is one of those cases that shows "who your people are."

There are those of us who were brought up with an understanding of the subtleties of time and place with respect to discussions of sensitive or delicate subjects.

And they were those of us who weren't.

It is apparent that the latter group has quite overtaken the former, to the detriment of us all.

Parents, teach your children well. There's still time. ;)

Back to the orignal topic...

Good for you for publishing the Passion Parties article. Passion Parties is NOT about promoting promiscuity. It is about promoting sexual awareness and sexual health with opens the lines of communication in relationships. Sex is a natural human instinct. No matter what your shape, size, religion the sexual urge exists. By expanding and exploring with your partner, sex becomes an experience, something that deepens your relationships, instead of an act that is just a marital duty.

I find it sad that many in America are afraid to explore their sexuality for fear that it would make them heathen sinners. They should check out themarriagebed.com which addresses sex in a christain based household.

As far as exposing children, please do. Let's teach our children about sex openly, instead of hiding behind closed doors and shedding a light of shame and dirtiness. Let's teach them that sex is something to be respected and shared only with those who respect you and your body. Let's teach them that the urges they feel are natural. Instead, we shield them from sex itself and expose them to violence willingly. Do you know how many times I have a heard a parent say, well they can see that movie if it has killing, but not if there is any sex in it. What a sad commentary on our values.

Bring on the Passion Parties! The world will be a much happier place.

Trishia: My post WAS about the original topic.

In the interest of self-disclosure, you might have also mentioned in your comment that you are a hostess and distributor for Passion Parties, which is, unfortunately, continuing to receive free publicity through this thread.

I cannot let your interpretation of Scripture go unchallenged. The God of the Bible teaches men to love, honor, revere and respect their wives, not to handcuff them. (Read Song of Solomon.)

The Word teaches that sex within marriage is sacred, pure, holy, beautiful, and yes, exciting and wonderful! But it is NOT base and public and demeaning. How desperately inappropriate and wrong it is to use Scripture as an excuse to sell handcuffs and sex toys! It publicly cheapens and degrades a holy union designed by God.

To sum up: Sex within marriage can and should be wonderful, passionate, awesome, and NOT dutiful or boring. But to get that, you need a spiritual and emotional foundation, NOT sex toys and handcuffs! Feed the spirit, not the flesh. Don't buy the world's counterfeit imitation of God's perfect plan of sexuality. And for goodness' sake, don't sell it either!!

Well Missy, with all due respect, maybe YOUR Christian union doesn't need any of the things offered for sale at Passion Parties, however, not everyone is Christian or practice the religion that you practice and even those who do may need some other stimulus in their marraige bed to aid in the excitement as everyone is not cut from the same cloth, hence our various hues, shapes, opinions, beliefs etc. I, personally, would not attend a Passion Party, it's not for me, but some people want to spend their time and money that way and that's their right. Why must it be your way or no way?

Gov:

The people you reference can have at it. They don't answer to me.

I think it was inappropriate to run the article and the accompanying photo in the daily newspaper. I don't think it's the right forum for the subject.

I replied to Trishia's comment for 2 reasons:

1) She is a sex-toy seller who is using the N&R blog to advertise her business.

2) She decided to mix Christianity and sex toys in her comments, and I couldn't NOT jump on that one. I mean, wow.

Poor John

The most blog responses you will ever have, it seems; just because the word sex is in it.

Let's not think about anything. Maybe it's like Buddhism?