I do not believe Allah is real. I never accepted the divinity of Zeus or his wife Hera. I think it's pretty obvious that this Jehovah which is all the rage in these parts was made up by the Chosen People.
I do have a faith, however. I believe Gepetto carved a puppet. I believe that since the log from which he created this puppet was enchanted, the puppet came to life. Like all the people of my faith, I accept that after the puppet's trials and tribulations, the beautiful child with blue hair turned him into a real boy.
Should I be summoned into a Guilford County courtroom, therefore, I shall require an original unabridged copy of "Pinocchio," in Italian, by Carlo Lorenzini (before he adopted the pen name, Carlo Collodi), with the original illustrations.
Without such a book upon which to swear, I'm afraid my testimony will be invalid.
Larry Surber
Stoneville
Comments (8)
I very much enjoyed your letter. Thanks.
Posted by Scott Duncan | July 13, 2005 7:23 AM
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
That was hillarious Mr. Surber!!!! I'll see you later!!!!!
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
Posted by Satan Incarnate | July 13, 2005 7:43 AM
Santa Claus is very upset with you.
Posted by hugh | July 13, 2005 7:44 AM
I believe Rush Limbaugh is God.
Can I bring a copy of "The Way Things Ought To Be" and swear my oath on it?
Posted by Right On Everything | July 13, 2005 1:05 PM
I'm illiterate. I want to bring an audio tape to swear on....let's see, maybe "Getting Real" by Dr. Phil. :) Better yet, a video tape.."Forrest Gump"....yeah, yeah...I believe in Forrest Gump.
Posted by Partricia | July 13, 2005 6:01 PM
Sir, I have finally been outdone. I bow to a superior wit.
(If they want to swear me in, they'll need a chocolate Easter Bunny.)
Posted by B. Chernick | July 13, 2005 11:09 PM
"Right On Everything" That book makes really good toilet paper.
Posted by yellowdog | July 14, 2005 11:34 AM
Have your read the book, yaller?
May I suggest you check before you answer.
http://rightoneverything.blogspot.com/
Posted by mrproduce | July 14, 2005 5:37 PM