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Thank your minister

For some reason, the High Point Civitan Club asked me to speak at its annual "clergy appreciation" program Tuesday. The choice of speakers seemed a bit random, but I gave it a shot.

I have spoken to this group a couple of times before on newspaper subjects, and actually I was pleased to receive another invitation even though I'm now working in Greensboro rather than High Point. Part of the reason has to do with the News & Record's strong presence in the Furniture Capital.

Anyway, I was happy to deliver a few encouraging words to members of the clergy. They really have a tough job. Just to give an idea ...

I recited some of the expectations we have of our ministers. They are supposed to:

Visit sick members but not catch anything.

Never forget a church member's name.

Conduct funerals on their day off and not count it as work.

Have ready answers to those challenging questions, like, "If God is almighty, why doesn't He crush Satan under His thumb?"

Never use bad language.

Be nice to everyone.

Attend lots of meetings but avoid getting bogged down in bureaucracy.

Explain why things like 9/11 happen.

Keep the money coming in, even when it snows on Sunday morning and no one shows up for church.

Keep the church staff happy.

Deliver a profound message from the pulpit - but keep it light.

Be a leader in the community, without letting outside activities take too much time away from church.

Relate well to stodgy old members and to active young families.

Possess a spiritual nature and an accountant's mind.

Come up with a traditional yet contemporary style of worship.

Never compromise the church's basic beliefs, but be inclusive.

Take a firm stand on controversial issues, without dividing the congregation.

Always conduct themselves in a manner that's above reproach: "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect." And we know Jesus meant those words just for ministers.

But it goes for their families, too: "You must manage your own family well and see that your children obey you with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?" This applies even to ministers who have teenagers.

We turn to our ministers for help in difficult times, for encouragement, for moral authority and for a model of servanthood. They're on call seven days a week - and we do call. God bless them all.

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