News-Record.com

My wife and I could have experienced the heartbreak their parents are suffering.
Our sons survived their teen years, despite driving mishaps of their own. Now that they're in their 20s, we don't worry about them nearly as much for the simple reason that they more mature and experienced behind the wheel.
Sometimes I think letting 16-year-olds operate motor vehicles is one of the most foolish things we do. Sending 19-year-olds to war is worse, but maybe not by much because more young people are killed on our highways than on battlefields.
North Carolina enacted wise legislation in 1997 - the year my older son turned 16 - to restrict teenagers' access to driver's licenses.
The law now requires them to complete a driver's education course before receiving a learner's permit. Then they must have the permit for a full year before they can qualify for their license.
Because of delays in completing driver's ed, many youngsters don't get their permit until well past their 15th birthday. That means they can't be awarded their license until an equal amount of time after they turn 16. Every day they wait could be a day longer they live.
For the next six months, they operate with limited privileges. The most important restriction is they can't drive after 9 p.m. without an adult in the vehicle.
Since 1997, fatalities among 16-year-old drivers has declined by 34 percent in North Carolina. Who knows? Two of the lives saved could have been my sons'. So I'm grateful to legislators for tightening our licensing laws. I wouldn't mind further revisions, perhaps raising the license age to 17.
I'm not trying to punish teens, most of whom are usually responsible and conscientious. But the fact is, they sometimes show terrifying lapses in judgment. When they're driving a car is no time for carelessness. It only takes a momentary distraction, a brief loss of control, to turn an ordinary outing into a catastrophe.
And let's face it: Driving conditions are a lot more difficult now than when people my age were teenagers. It's tough enough for those of us who have 30 years of practice to deal with the hazards of the road. We expect kids to negotiate safely through the tangles of traffic out there? That's asking a lot.
Consider your response when you see a marked driver's ed car. You know there's a new driver behind the wheel, and you probably keep a close eye on that car in case it makes a dangerous stop or turn.
Now think that there are lots of drivers on the road who are barely more experienced and qualified than that student. Only these drivers aren't in a marked car and they don't have an instructor sitting next to them. Are you worried yet?
The state's move to delay the age of full driving privileges for our young people has saved lives, but parents shouldn't place too much trust in the state. The Division of Motor Vehicles might certify a 16-year-old as a qualified driver, but that doesn't mean he or she really is. It's the parents' job to make sure.
Parents have to realize that their children don't learn everything in driver's ed. They are their teenagers' most important driving instructors. They primarily teach by example, but they also have to make the best use possible of that year when the 15-year-old has his or her learner's permit. Dad or Mom should spend hours every week in the front passenger seat while the youngster practices.
My wife, who crouched in the back seat with her eyes closed, wasn't very helpful in this regard. At least I was cowering in the front seat.
In all seriousness, parents should not send their children to the examiner's office until they are sure their kids are prepared to drive on their own. No youngster has a God-given right to drive at 16, ready or not.
The parents' responsibility continues after their son or daughter has gotten his or her license. Parents must set rules. A license to drive doesn't give a teenager a license to drive anytime, anywhere, with anyone or in any manner he or she wants.
Then parents have to enforce their rules with appropriate punishment. A friend of mine took his son's license away after a second accident. We grounded our son for weeks after he had a wreck - not just for the accident but because it occurred in Greensboro, where he wasn't allowed to drive (we live in High Point).
My wife and I didn't always make the right decisions. Or, even if we did, something terrible could have happened to our kids anyway. We were fortunate. Some parents are tragically unlucky.
We can't count on luck, or even the grace of God, to keep our kids safe on the roads. It's our job to make safety a high priority in their lives.
It's not easy to deny our kids some of the privileges that "everyone else" takes for granted. But giving them more freedom than they can handle is a formula for losing them, not loving them.